![1444225698505[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/QoJfoId.jpg "1444225698505[1].jpg")
Time for a nice o'/devilish/ thread.
>Making cookies for mommy wommy
>Recipe calls for butter
> Use "vegetable oil spread" instead.
Dumb bitch never saw it coming.
>stopping by fast food restaurant
>sister asks for wedges
>get her curly fries
Drove company van 2 mph over speed limit for several blocks
>>Gangsta
>make fried breakfast in bed for "mommy"
>"mommy" is actually a large hump-pillow that makes me feel safe
>tell her I love her very much and feel my filthiness evaporating
>despise my real mother and haven't seen her in almost a decade
DEMONIC
>wake little cousin up early by yelling "IT'S CHRISTMAS!"
>he runs to the living room
>no tree or presents, because it's april
>see Staceymom and her Chad baby son
>snarl and frown at the baby when she isn't looking
>it begins to cry
>early exposure to negativity
>will possibly lead to depression later on in life
looks like baby Chad is having a head start on why he shouldn't pull off that be yourself shit on us.
ooo devilish
>>28102726
>mum says I have to clean my room before 8
>finished cleaning it at 6
>play online co-op game
>murder team mates instead
>call them dorks when they complain
>post response on /r9k/
>bot mutes me for 2 seconds for not being original
>complain out loud right before the 2 seconds end
>>28102795
D E M O N I C
E
M
O
N
I
C
>>28103393
kek
>>28103645
>dorks
gb2 reddit
>out of toilet paper
>grab a bunch from a gas station restroom and shove it in my pocket
> Clementines are 15 for 1 quid
> Put 16 in the basket
> Is that 15 there love?
> Yes
>>28103393
that's mean
poor kid
>edging to JOI video
>cum before she allows me to
>play online
>"accidentally" shoot teammates
>they're forgiving
>do it just enough to get annoying, but not enough to where they know i'm trying to shoot them
>>28103646
I M P A T I E N T
>At grocery store
>Swap the organic strawberries with the regular ones
>Eat grapes to "test freshness"
>Touch all the peaches and plums
>I masturbated without washing my hands 15 minutes before
>"Have you seen this child?" flyer
>Call the number
>"No."
>buy 45% alcohol angostura aromatic bitters at self checkout without ID and get drunk off it
>>28103136
You tried. Leave the thread
>>28104835
that's mean m8but the normies fucking deserve it for letting their stacy/chad child get lost due to their lack of supervision
>>28104961
>without ID
how though?
>>28105011
forgot to mention it was in a grocery store and the self checkout supervisor wagecuck didn't notice
>noisy joinery next door with a portacabin with a numberpad door lock like in a video game
>black guy goes in to work and enters passcode
>set up webcam through hole in curtain to spy on him, examine pixels and determine passcode
>use it to break in but don't find anything valuable, take a toolbox
>next morning he is throwing a fit
>he changes the passcode but I video him entering the new one
>put the toolbox back that afternoon to confuse him
>/r9k/ is a board dedicated to originality
>I post the same garbage every single day with only minor variations
>hanging out with stoner friend
>offer to pack a bowl of weed
>walk out of the room "to take a shit"
>go to bathroom,open the bottle of melatonin
>grind some up into the bowl,add some pot on top
>hand it to him,let him smoke all of it
>he ends up falling asleep an hour later
>>28102726
Sounds like you cheated yourself out of some nice, buttery cookies. How's that vegetable """"oil"""" spread working, faggot?
>>28103984
>cum before she allows me to
The police are on their way, faggot.
