Is it truly possible for a very socially awkward (yet not totally socially inept), average male to reinvent himself as a much more dominant, widely respected, assertive person? Or is it the case that being submissive and socially awkward when you're 20 largely means you will still be submissive and socially awkward when you're 40?
I am tired of being a "failed normie" and a kissless virgin. I want to get to the stage where I can clearly command respect among my friends and be an independent man. Is this at all possible, or am I fucked because of my school life/upbringing conditioning me to be awkward?
Total self reinvention can be done, but it usually requires moving far away from home to a place where nobody knows you and you can start fresh.
It's almost impossible to pull off while keeping contact with existing friends and family who know the "old" you because they'll always be dragging you back to your original identity.
>>28090708
Yes it's possible. Will catch shit for saying this, you don't deserve respect. You have to earn it.
I too feel like a kid despite recently turning 21. Find ways to up your self confidence whether its going to the gym and sticking to a routine, learning how to cook, exercising every day and making a concious effort to do things independently.
>>28090772
So, would you say it could be done when going to a university on the other side of the country, where you know no one to start with?
>>28090786
>Yes it's possible. Will catch shit for saying this, you don't deserve respect. You have to earn it.
I agree with this. I'm just trying to figure out how to break out of the rut of being the "physically weak, weird, awkward virgin".
>>28090750
I don't think moving away is the answer, unless something terrible happened that caused you to become a social pariah. You're going to carry the mental and emotional baggage with you and as soon as your ego gets hit your fantasy will come crashing down around you.
>>28090708
I believe the best way is to take the time and build up your own self confidence in something you're interested in - something that you enjoy and take pleasure in and can verbalise why you're interested in it - it could be anything. Don't choose something you think other people respect, choose something that you enjoy - this is imperative.
Respect is earned and you can't be assertive without anything to assert - without putting the time in you simply come across as unstable, insecure and aggressive. Just take any of the infinite posts on 4chan where people desperately and aggressively argue over their stupid fuck wit opinions - they're doing it because they're incredibly insecure and it isn't impressive to anyone observing.
OP, I don't think you're fucked at all, but you do need to de-program yourself out of victimhood. Focus on what you can control in your life and take command of that, invest your time into something you enjoy and once you start getting good at whatever you've focused on, look to start trying to make money out of it. The rest will just come with time.
its possible but it takes work
more mental work than physical obviously
read 'mastering your hidden self'
