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Anonymous
2016-04-24 08:42:02 Post No. 28088284
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Anonymous
2016-04-24 08:42:02
Post No. 28088284
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>be 25 year old kissless virgin
>not unattractive, just complete sperg
>decide I need to lose my virginity before wizardhood sets in
>make tinder profile
>have moderate success attracting some 7/10's and 8/10's
>agree to meetup with one near me for a one night stand
>on the day I drive to her house and park out the front
>suddenly panic, she'd undoubtedly had sex before and I'm a virgin. I don't want to blow my load after 2 thrusts
>get a cunning plan
>jack off in the car before hand so I last for a long time
>Takes me a while because I have no porn to assist me
>Sweat up a fucking storm until I finally shoot a load all the way up my stomach and chest
>Quickly wipe up most of the jizz and head inside
>Despite the fact I've just jacked off I find myself very aroused at the sight of this hottie
>Small talk for a bit over a couple of drinks
>fast forward about 30 minutes
>Vigorously making out, start stripping each other off
>"Uhh.. anon whats that?"
>White powdery crap caught in my chest and stomach hair. Shit, I missed some
>"uhhh..." (can feel autismo mode activating)
>"Anon... FUCKING HELL THATS GROSS. YOU JACKED OFF BEFORE FUCKING ME??"
>This next line will haunt me to the day I die
>"hehe of course not, it must be from a few days ago"
>she just looks at me disgusted
>realize that the combo of that exact line and my appalling BO has implied that I have not showered in at least 3 days
>she throws me out
Fucking women.
