Bullshit
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Type a story and another anons try to guess if it's true or not.
>>28084360
I fucked a girl once
I often drive out to small farm towns and fuck the ugliest women there. I'm trying to increase the gene pool in those places.
>>28084421
True.
>>28084556
Bullshit.
I once read Sun Tzu art of war while jerking off in a public library.
>>28084626
Yep, mine was fake. I'd say yours is true, it seems plausible.
>>28084360
So I'm wandering around a quiet side of town age 16 and this hot lady walks up to me and asks me to come with her somewhere.
She explains that her ex is some abusive dick and locked her purse in his car, and she wants to break into it and get it back.
The cars round the back of the bar I'm outside.
Im trying to figure out my role in this but I just say fuck it sure, since it's broad daylight and I can just run away.
So she walks round the back and I go with her. I watch her look through a car window and do nothing. I guess she wussed out. I ask if I can go and she says yes, so I leave.
I'm a secret operative that is currently "chaperoning" Russia.
I have a disease named after me.
>>28084671
tl;dr bullshit.
>>28084814
Obviously legit, I don't even know what the fuck that means but it's true,
>>28084360
I scared a Russian I was skype friends with off by pretending to be an IRA member on camera (dressed in fatigues a beret, a facemask while brandishing a pistol).
a neo nazi meth head once pulled a gun on me because he thought I was a narc
>>28084887
Fake, IRA, last ten years, russian....
Im 22 and my dick grew an extra half inch of length (now 6.5) in the last two months
>>28084851
I believe the disease shares your name but not named after you personally, lie.
>>28084887
... True.. Seems possible...
>>28084814
What to the fucking spring formal? You couldn't chaperone the barbie tea party in your closet you fucking faggot kys.
>>28084954
Was an entire lie, I don't have diseases.
>>28084928
bullshit
>>28084360
i once woke up in the middle of the night with an itchy asshole and back pain that didnt let me scratch it, instead of going to the bathroom i grabbed the spoon in the empty cereal bowl and use the handle to scratch my crack.
Next morning i ate breakfast with the same spoon without cleaning it, i didnt forgot. I just didnt care
>>28084928
True.
>>28084953
Fake. Run around a tree at light speed and fuck yourself with your 6.5
Met a girl online and abandoned everything I knew to be with her.
>>28084953
>>28084954
It was true. He didn't believe me when I told him I had a gun, so I decided to get creative with it.
>>28084976
Welp damn...
>>28085024
nope. it happened. he was also a heroin addict, built like a brick wall. 6'4 and at least 250lbs.
I don't know how I talked my way out of that situation
>>28084649
Nah mines was fake.
I was born in 1822. I have the appearance of a 35 year old as this was the point I stopped ageing. I was born in France.
I have lived in many different countries but have decided to stay put in the USA because it is big and it allows me space to move when it is time: when people start to notice that I don't age.
>>28085105
I see someone has just watched the man from Earth
>working with boxes as my job
>dropping them on the desk carelessly creating loud slams
>older guy from corporate happens to be visiting that day
>complains and asks me to stop with slamming the boxes so hard
>say "Sure, I'll tell gravity to ease up. Maybe it'll help your balls too."
>promptly fired on the spot
>>28085137
It is a good movie.
>>28085067
how did you know he was a neo nazi? because i belive everything else
I have had no less than 12 attractive girls express interest in me. Of those 12, 8 have bluntly made it obvious that they really liked me. Of those 8 I have gone on dates with 2.
Outside of those 12, I have asked 6 women out in my life. Of those 6 I have gotten a positive response from 5. Of those 5 I actually went on dates with 2.
And yet, I autistically ran away from every single one.
>>28085186
he had a huge swastika tattooed on his bald head
so... yea
i once masturbated next to my mom while watching an M. Night Shyamalan movie
>>28085028
Fake.
>>28085157
Fake come on mr,roboto
>>28085206
I did a google coin flip I'll go with true.
I have fucked 6 fembots from r9k in the past 6 months
>>28085416
It isnt. We are watching stargate right now.
>>28085260
and then your mom was your cat
and you weren't masturbating, you were crying
then it turned out you were a shitty tripfag
>(directed by m night shyamalan)
>>28085479
Tell hila we said hi
>>28085521
Hila? The fuck is hila?
First time I had sex, midway the chick started making purring noises like a cat and meowing. It was strange, but a huge turn on
>>28085548
True, I mean who can lie about that!?
>>28085542
I KNOW IT'S YOU ETHAN FROM H3H3
I went over to a girls place to netflix and chill but didnt fuck cuz she was nervous of her neighbors hearing us.
I accidentally killed the family dog while trying to fix my bmx, I was so scared I ended up throwing the corpse into the next door garden which ended up making things even worse.
That was the first and last time I got the belt.
>>28085649
I'm not ethan. This ist me mein neger
>>28084360
im was a neet for 15 years, you could say i was a hikki too but i did want to go outside. I spent every day watching tv, working out and eating the same shitty food. I couldnt even face the guy that delivered the food to my door.
It took a monumental effort but i was able to break away from mi prison, i remember the first thing i ate in public, it was sushi. I fell for the waitress inmediately and even had the confidence to go back to her place, we got to know each other and eventually had sex.
Now i wast still all kinds of messed up, i was angry and ended up taking it out on every asshole that crossed my path, it got ugly. An old highschool friend kept contacting me and i decided to pay him a visit. He told me that his life didnt turn out well either, he lost his sister when they where kids. I remember them being really close, she killed herself and he never got over it. This dude ended up killing himself too and all i wanted at the end was to forget all that shit forever
>>28085515
its actually true. It was the village and i was 11, i found the blind girl hot so i stealthly rubbed myself, mom kept pausing the movie because she figured out what i was doing and eventually she left
>>28085776
>that black cat's stare
Are you pinky knuckle deep in there anon?
Good on you for finding someone tho, (even if you're not ethan,) I'm happy for you :)
>>28085691
Story is believable but bullshit cause posted on /r9k/.
>>28085883
Thanks I'm really happy with her. We're snuggling up with standup. Patton oswald on tap tonight
>>28085731
come on familia, apply yourself next time
>>28085992
Would I lie to you?it's true, his name was murphy and I cracked him on the top of the head while I was yanking on the frame
I stabbed a dude last night in self defense.
I hit the same dude twice with a nicewooden sword (ash), in the wrist and the head, when he came looking for me today
less of a self defense scenario today because he looked ready to run when I drew the sword but it would hold up in court
>implying I'm going to court
>>28084360
i once asked my grandma to make a fried egg as part of luch (steak and some salad) and she filled a pot with oil and just fried the egg there
