>i wake up for another sing-songy sunshiney funday
>i stretch and yawn as I rip my daily wakey gas, the feeling of liquid splattering against my Magic School Bus undies makes me proud
>i haul myself out of bed, kissing my Rei Ayanami body pillow good morning, but my legs buckle out from under my generous frame
>oh well! I guess I'll have to be a Roly Poly from now on
>i roll over to my GBP chart and check it
>I've saved up a whole 5 GBP! That's a new record I'm SURE mummy will be proud of!
>i roll down the stairs to see what mumsy is up to this wonderful morning
>i slip and crack my nose against the stairpost
>mumma gets up shocked, "Anon are you okay?!"
>i'm bleeding from my nose and it has a weird shape, but I don't care, "mummy mummy, where's the yummy chickie tendies for my tummy?"
>"what?"
>i lift my shirt and begin slapping my tummy like a bongo "your precious little angel has saved five GBP, make some chickie tendies, and make them all for me!"
>"Anon, you know the price for a tendie meal is 20 Good Boy Points. And after the Legoland incident you should be grateful that you still have 5 left."
>i freeze. This BITCH, has the fucking GALL, to deprive me of my well deserved poultry cutlets.
>i sit up and begin slamming my feet on the floor angrily and punching my head
>"YOUR SPECIAL LITTLE BOY HAS BEEN GOOD FOR FAR TOO LONG, TENDIES NOW YOU BITCH OR I SHALL DO YOU WRONG"
>she closes her eyes, "Anon, please calm down..."
>i begin screaming and simultaneously poopooing and peepeeing my pants, but my engine has been burned out and I curl up in my own waste, peacefully sleeping
>i wake up clean and tethered to my bed, a plate of yummy tendies on my tummy with a note from mama jama saying she's sorry for being so harsh and that she's proud of me for being such a good boy
Being a bad boy has its perks, but nothing beats the satisfaction of being mummy's good little boy!
11/10 GBP story, good job. I'd share you some of my GBP but I'm saving mine up for grocery day
>>28083456
Great tendies story. Heart-warming. 10/10.
>>28083456
I'm not sure who I feel sorrier for - you or your mother.
>>28084770
Pity the autist, feel horrible for the mother.
> Be healthy 300 pound baby with a loving mommy
> wake up right on time at 5:25pm after a night of intense gaming on garys mod
> Go out to GameStop with mummy to buy the minecraft sword I was promised, to defend against normies
> Feel instant rush of anger when I finally get the sword, because I need to show I'm superior to dumb wagecucks
> I hit the wagey with it, as hard as my big boned muscles will allow me to
> "Anon! WHY!?"
> "DUMB WAGESLAVE MADE ME CAVE! LET ME GIVE HIM A BOO BOO OR I DO A POO POO!" I wittily reply
> "ANON! 200GBP GONE MISTER"
> This dumb bitch thinks she can get away with this, I warned her
> "REEEEEEE" I scream, as I pull down the shelves in the store to block off mommy
> Rip down my diaper, the stench immediately causes the two other customers in the store to vomit
> Put my brand new awesome sword between my bum bum cheeks, pointing it behind me
> Start fiercely grinding on the sword, the mere sight causes all the normies in the store to get shocked from amazement
> Can feel the individual pixel changing as I do move it
> Sword is now covered in my healthy, thick blood
> Pee on the sword for good measure
> I am now the master of all the elements, blood, pee pee and poo poo
> "GIVE ME TENDIES NOW MUM"
> Start hitting everyone in the store with the amalgamated weapon
> Everyone flees
> Start rolling around in the aftermath
> Pass out, because I was hungry
> Wake up in bed with tendies, mommy happily swinging on a rope by her neck
> Decisive victory
>>28086440
Mummy is playing pinata! Hit her with the Minecraft sword until candy spills out of her cooch.
>>28083456
This didn't piss me off like most autism, it made me really sad for some weird reason. Like I feel... a weird depression. Strange. I think it's because you called them chickie tendies.
>yfw you realise this is merely a metaphor for the entitlement complex that is widely indulged by the first world
>>28087267
>it made me really sad for some weird reason
I'd say - for me at least - it's the self-harming and restraint thing, which is so very much real:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu7C5clA4q0
>>28087267
New friend? Welcome
>>28087937
this make me sad such a good looking guy
I'm a 30 yo autist neet and I find these absolutely hilarious.
>>28087937
That video...christ
>>28086440
What's the deal with the blood? The sword is made of foam.
>>28089315
Gotta reckon the poor bloke has all sorts of hemorrhoids and infections and whatnot back there.
>>28087937
>top comment
>"there is no proof autism is genetic"
Normies are completely delusional.
>>28089636
The autism gene is activated by vaccines.
Kid Cuisine... hot apple sauce, never again
>>28083456
>Nugget Shaped Breaded White Chicken Patties
Those aren't tendies. The bitch tricked you.
>>28087937
>growing older
>milfymommy wont let me sucky on her milky anymore, says big boys are not supposed to do that
>This wont stand
>if I have to choose between being a big boy and being around mommy milkbags then I'll just be a little boy forever
>Parents wonder whats wrong with me
>Get taken to doctors who diagnose me with autism
>10 years later the ruse still continues
>Still mommys little boy
>Still get to squeeze up against mommys boobies when being a bad boy
Some effort went into this so have a bump you cancerous fag
>>28091415
OP is owed a double-GBP refund!
Fuck yeah. Tendie threads. I missed these. Haven't seen them in a long time.
>wake up at 11PM
>tum tum roaring with the force of a thousand exploding suns from hunger
>put hand down my pull up big boy diaper and poke around in my bum bum
>pull out a soggy mess of half digested poo poo
>smell it and wipe it on my buzz lightyear bedsheets for mommy to clean up later
>roll out of my race car bed and waddle to kitchen
>mommy better have my tendies ready and at perfect temperature or she's going to PAY
>find mommy slumped against the oven, overwhelmed from exhaustion from having to work 2 jobs
>that BITCH overcooked my tendies AND they're cold
>dig around inside bum bum again and smear poo poo over over the tendies and the Good Boy Points chart on the fridge
>at least she prepared XL sippy cup filled with Mountain Dew
>gag because its lukewarm from having been left out of the fridge too long
>vomit all over the floor
>fling my sippy cup at mommy and hit her on the head
>juice explodes everywhere and mixes with the vomit
>mommy doesn't even notice
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>jump onto her and start hitting her in her tummy and num nums
>she wakes up with a look of pure terror, and gags from the stench of vomit, shit and orange juice
>YOU BURN MY TENDIESSSSSSSSSSSSS
>she tries to explain that she's so tired from work and not having enough money
>continue pulling on her num nums until she lifts up her top and lets me drink
>mfw I stole enough gold stars so I'll have enough GBP to buy that electric motorbike to race around the house with now
http://youtu.be/XNPljoociK8
http://youtu.be/HbvXwJU6BbE
>>28095194
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX4MpYla5VA
Tendie curriculum when?
