Who here /off medication despite orders/? Schizophrenia never felt so good.
>>28080331
Fuck meds I don't want to be stable
What's it like being a mentally ill neet off their meds? Does it make regular neet life more interesting/fun or is it actually uncomfortable? Does it make you go out and do different stuff in your day, or is it all in your head and your actually activities are essentially identical to when you're on your meds?
SSRIs don't really help anyways.
me doctor told me to take 20mg latuda for a month and then 40mg for a month
so ignored him because i had already been on 80 and it didn't work so i took 40 for a month and then stopped because it didn't work (surprise)
he's going to be very angry when i see him again in may
oh i also took out my old stash of lithium and wellbutrin and started taking that so i could stop eating and see if 1200mg lithium would make me feel better because 900mg stopped working after about a month. so far it's working pretty good but i am still paranoid as fug and seeing thing.
>>28080331
was on meds for a month while in the hospital, stopped taking meds a few days ago been feeling like shit seeing a little bit more stuff nothing scary yet
>>28080396
>What's it like being a mentally ill neet off their meds?
It fucking SUCKS. I don't have the hxc mental illnesses (schizophrenia, bipolar etc) but I do have extreme social anxiety disorder/avoidant personality disorder/major depressive disorder and asperger's. Also, pretty terrible ADD, if that counts. None of which are self-diagnosed. Been medicated on a plethora of meds for all since age 13; am now 27. 95% or so either did nothing or made things significantly worse. I have no psychiatrist now and having no medication makes life a living hell. Also, a combination of Vyvanse, Wellbutrin XL and high-dose Klonopin plus Xanax as needed is what allowed me to be somewhat functional after trying nearly everything. I know stims like Vyvanse are abused/habit-forming as are benzos like Klonopin and Xanax, but for me they were never once recreational and only ever therapeutic.
>Does it make regular neet life more interesting/fun or is it actually uncomfortable?
Incredibly uncomfortable. I can't fucking do anything anymore. Anxiety is off the charts so I can't leave the house or even do things like check my e-mail, online messages or texts. Without the Vyvanse/Wellbutrin my depression has made me so fucking unmotivated that I sleep 13-16 hours a day and when I'm awake I just bide time until I'm asleep again.
>Does it make you go out and do different stuff in your day, or is it all in your head and your actually activities are essentially identical to when you're on your meds?
My daily activities are confined to pointless internet distraction without meds now. I've given up on ever hoping for a real life in the real world anymore.
>>28080396
it's usually not so different than on meds except when i leave the house or hear people outside.
>>28080331
>implying unmedicated schizophrenics are capable of understanding what's happening with them
>implying you're not just an attention whore faggot
>>28080396
It's not fun, I've spent a while suffering from psychotic type disorders (got a few different diagnoses), and it's not fun. All it meant was that instead of sitting around and at least doing some stuff, able to enjoy minor aspects of life, or just relax, that I spent most of my time confused, scared, constantly flinging between emotional extremes, and not trusting anyone at all, or anything, even my computer became threatening at points.
Mental illness isn't fun anon, you really don't want to have even the minor stuff.
>>28081263
>>implying unmedicated schizophrenics are capable of understanding what's happening with them
kill yourself please.
I've been taking meds nonstop for the last seven years. Many different combinations but I haven't been unmedicated in all that time. Now that I'm on the proper meds, I wouldn't dare go off of them for anything. You couldn't pay me to go back to the way I was.
>>28081400
Do you not understand how schizophrenia works? The negative symptoms alone make it incredibly hard for them to understand their disorder, or that they suffer from it, let alone the positive symptoms that make it absolutely impossible for them to do so.
A major part of any diagnosis of a psychotic disorder is lack of insight into it, you really can't understand what's going on and be psychotic at the same time, by the diagnostic definition.
It's possible that a person could go a few weeks without medication without relapsing I suppose, but not long term.
Keep trying to justify your self diagnosis though.
>>28081616
>every case of schizophrenia is severe and paranoid with visual hallucinations and nonstop auditory bombardment
just kill yourself. maybe YOU can't function unmedicated, but there are plenty of schizos who don't just curl up into a ball and shit and piss on themselves because they're not taking meds.
>>28081616
also lmao that you think schizophrenia is one constant episode of psychosis.
Self-diagnosed Avoidant Personality Disorder here. Normally self-diagnoses are fucking stupid, but I took multiple years of Psych in school, and I fit every criteria in the DSM-5, so I feel pretty confident in it.
I won't go to counseling because I'm afraid of the stigma attached to having a personality disorder, and I'm also having suicidal thoughts lately, and don't want the therapist to alert anyone and ruin my reputation.
Who else /suffering in silence/?
>>28081732
>I took multiple years of Psych in school,
Implying that makes you any less stupid. You're still a self-diagnosed attention fag
Truth of the matter is, and the real red-pill on mental illness: it all leads back to the way your parents raised you, or didn't raise you. The first three years formative years of your life are the most important, yet largely out of your control. But in a world of misfits, where everyone can easily blame their parents, the cause itself is negated, and all you're left with is you, yourself, and where you're at at this very moment. Essentially, you must change yourself. It's a cliche spiritual adage, but it rings true in application. You must recognize yourself and your inner machinations, flaws, etc. to reach a state of acceptance, and thus, betterness. Socrates said "know thyself", and it's true. Once you know yourself, you hold the key to change. No amount of medication from the Big Pharma kikes can ease your pain, but you can. It's no wonder why CBT is shilled by just about everyone nowadays, because once you know your own prejudices and flaws, you can address them through changes in cognitive function and thought patterns.
But no, silly goy. Drop what I said. Go back to your Lexapro.
>>28081652
>>28081676
I never claimed schizophrenia was one episode, hence me clarifying the different impacts of negative and positive symptoms you mong.
>every case of schizophrenia is severe and paranoid with visual hallucinations and nonstop auditory bombardment
Never claimed this either. But the types of schizophrenia that don't suffer from hallucinations are generally the more disordered types, and they barely function even with medication, in hospitals, it has one of the worst rates of recovery of any mental disorder.
>ubb7t there are plenty of schizos who don't just curl up into a ball and shit and piss on themselves because they're not taking meds
Sure, some people cope better than others. But no actually diagnosed schizophrenic is capable of functioning normally without medications, it's a disorder that is generally seen as degenerative. The longer you go without meds, the worse you'll get.
As I said though, and this is an undeniable fact, schizophrenia, or any psychotic disorder is heavily defined by the individual being incapable of having any noteworthy insight into their own illness.
>>28081732
If you're over 18, you don't have to worry about your therapist telling anyone, they're bound by the same confidentiality agreements as any medical practitioner. If you're under 18, and think you have AvPD, you really should look for therapy, because they're much, much easier to treat while you're younger.
>>28081775
>i'm too retarded to know that the vast majority of psychiatrists simply read off questions from the DSM or ICD and diagnose you if you hit enough bullet points
if he meets every symptom for the diagnose in the DSM-V then he probably has it. if he wants to be extra sure he can ask a third party that knows him well if they think he meets those criteria.
it's like saying you can't self diagnose yourself with schizo when you start hearing voices lmoa.
>>28080331
I'm most likely developing schizo or possibly bipolar but lied to get off aripiprazol.
I can't keep living like these though but I can't live on the meds. I don't know what to do
>>28081867
Sorry, to AvPD dude, I misread your post, missed the part about psych school. Disregard the part about being under 18. Though personality disorders are much easier to treat the younger the patient is, as I'm sure you know.
>>28081869
>a self diagnosed personality disorder that could apply to every edgy teenage faggot who listends to black veil brides is the same as self diagnosing schizophrenia after hearing voices in your head
>>28081732
The concept of concrete personality disorders is pseudoscientific bullshit, no better than the MBTI or shit like that. I was just reading about Schizotypal and Paranoid Personality Disorder; they're fundamentally the same archetypal shit.
Personality disorders exist, but don't insist on adhering to the kikes' method of separating everything into distinct little niches.
>>28081897
why did you stop taking the abilify
that is one of the best antipsychs if it works for you because it doesn't cause your metabolism to deteriorate into nothing.
>>28081897
Get on different meds then, and turn off the trip, you don't have any reason to be tripfagging.
Also, your doctor would want you on something if you were displaying early signs of psychotic disorders, and seeing as yours allowed you to come off them, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just be honest and trust your doctor. See a different one if you don't trust yours.
>>28081921
except he's not a teenage faggot. he is presumably at least 25 or older and has already been in college.
>>28081897
I'm currently taking Abilify, for bipolar not schizo. Why did you go off of it?
bipolar type 1 neet here off meds
yesterday I walked through the city and touched fem butts
they turned and stared in at first shock at me and I started immediatly to talk absolutely kind and normal to them
some where irritated and left others wanted revenge and iI had to run
after two hours the police catched me and my mum took me from the police station
luckily they only saw me once
I am manic at this point
>>28081941
It made me too agitated and I needed valium to sleep
But off it I keep having these 'flashforwards' where dogs are mauling me and I have to gouge out there eyes and I actually perform the actions or cars will run into me and I hear rooms full of people talking sometimes or hear footsteps following me and shadows darting around like people were there.
>>28081976
>you don't have any reason to be tripfagging.
I want attention
>>28081985
Agitation, irritability, headaches, shaking, inability to focus and insomnia.
>>28080331
OCD here. Last time i went off meds it was trouble. I will keep my meds thanks.
do you go without sleep while off antipsychotics, OP? I can't sleep without them
>>28082012
If you take the abilify in the morning it shouldn't interfere with your sleep too much. What dosage are you on?
>>28081998
>I am manic at this point
Thank you for reminding me of why it's so important to keep taking my medication. Never, ever want to fucking be there ever again.
>>28082012
>Agitation, irritability, headaches, shaking, inability to focus and insomnia.
>shaking
this is the only side effect I've gotten from it and propranolol takes care of that pretty easily. sorry to hear it didn't work out for you, it's definitely one of the better antipsychotics out there. you really should try to get on a medication that doesn't affect you so much, it's very important to keep psychosis under control so it doesn't keep getting worse.
>>28081998
On that manic rn famalam feels amazing didnt take any meds today so i feel amazing. Just tresspassed into a bunch of cool tunnels and got escorted our by cops
>OCD and paranoid delusion sufferer
>despite me rationalizing it 100 times over, I can't get this very deluded fear out of my head
>something always spikes up my obsession, I forget all of my previous rationalizations, and I have to rationalize that specific spike
make it stop
>>28082012
>It made me too agitated and I needed valium to sleep
as far as i know it can cause extreme anxiety in some people but i've never heard of agitation.
>But off it I keep having these 'flashforwards' where dogs are mauling me and I have to gouge out there eyes and I actually perform the actions or cars will run into me and I hear rooms full of people talking sometimes or hear footsteps following me and shadows darting around like people were there.
could be a number of things but if it is schizophrenia and not just a bad case of paranoid personality disorder then you best get on another antipsychotic as soon as possible.
>>28082079
It was only 10mg while they were trying to diagnose me but I had all those fucking side effects. I took it in the morning
The problem is that I'm already a very easily agitated and irritable person and it just amplified the problems I already had.
>>28082102
m8 I know that OCD feel
have you ever heard of or tried exposure and response prevention therapy? it's very, very difficult but it is very effective at reducing anxiety, reducing intrusive thoughts, reducing or completely stopping the rationalization, it's fucking incredible. I thought I was going to have to live with my obsessions forever but there is hope, man.
>>28082108
Sorry to hear that. I'm the same way and it seems to make me more calm on the same dosage.
>>28081867
I'm over 18, thanks, I didn't about know that. I'll have to consider it then. I've gotten to the point where I'm having suicidal thoughts daily, so I'm thinking it's finally time to seek help before it's too late.
>>28081775
Shocker, one of the things psychologists learn in school is how to diagnose patients. Guess what I learned in my college psych courses? Screw off.
>>28082139
right now I'm worried primarily about someone going on social media and posting something negatively about me, calling me "cringe" or whatever. It's far-fetched, but if I try to stop thinking about it, it'll come right back. I feel like just the possibility of it happening has the potential to end the world. Not true, but you know, OCD and all. Worst thing is, I haven't even done anything cringe-y, all that people could use against me is a photo of me smiling awkwardly.
>>28082012
>I want attention
So why should we trust anything you're telling us then? You could easily just be inflating all of your symptoms in order to try to look worse than you are, in which case no-one will be able to help you, let alone strangers on the internet.
Also, the "flashforwards" are called intrusive thoughts, and are common in a lot of types of mental illness.
I don't believe that your doctor would just agree to take you off medications if you're experiencing active symptoms of psychosis though, which hallucinations are, unless you're mainly having these after particularly bad periods of insomnia, as those can cause anyone to get a bit that way.
>>28082106
What happens if you're not on anti-psychotics?
At the moment I've been feeling like I'm getting crazier every day now that I'm on anti-depressants since they've rejuvenated a bit of energy in me which has hilariously caused a bunch of negatives. The only thing that fixes my thoughts is to self harm every week.
I can't even be honest to the doctors because I don't know what I really think or experience. They don't give a fuck, it's been 2 weeks for me to get an appointment with a public psych from the ward and they've recommended me to go to another psych
>>28081983
And yet he's self diagnosing himself with vague personality disorders that boil down to "I'm an edgy faggot and no one understands me"
>>28082238
>>I can't even be honest to the doctors because I don't know what I really think or experience
lad...
go check yourself into inpatient care. the earlier you start treating schizophrenia the better prognosis you have. the longer you wait and the worse it gets.
>What happens if you're not on anti-psychotics?
psychotic episodes. you seem preoccupied with gouging the eyes out of dogs in your hallucinations so maybe you'd gauge your own eyes out to get rid of the hallucinations. who knows.
you don't want to have a psychotic episode.
>>28082201
>I'm over 18
Yeah, I got that just after I posted what I did. But yeah, there's really no downside to doing therapy, and nearly every disorder is easier to treat while you're younger.
Especially with suicidal thoughts, there's even a chance that you're suffering from a depressive nature disorder rather than one like AvPD, they have really similar symptoms, and it's the reason why generally psychologists won't diagnose personality disorders while other stuff is present, unless it's obviously the cause.
Give it a go at least, and remember to be completely honest, no-one can help you otherwise, and they can't tell anyone about what goes on in your sessions, with the exception of if you're forcibly put in a ward, in which case they can tell the doctors at the hospital too.
>>28082291
I've been to the psych ward. I just got off involuntary leave but I've been telling half-truths. I went in just the other week and told them I was suicidal but they let me go.
What's a psychotic episode? Would cutting up your arms then painting your face with eye liner be considered a psychotic epside?
>>28081812
>the real red-pill on mental illness
Stopped reading right there. Get the fuck out of this thread.
>>28082202
most obsessions are not logical, that's what gives them so much power. you start coming up with reasons why it'll happen and spinning it over and over again until you can't think of anything else. it's impossible to force yourself to stop thinking about something, and trying to repress the thoughts only makes them stronger. please, please do yourself a favor and look into getting some proper therapy. it might seem relatively harmless right now but OCD can ruin your life so fucking fast, man.
>>28082358
>What's a psychotic episode? Would cutting up your arms then painting your face with eye liner be considered a psychotic epside?
No. That's being a desperate attention whore.
My psychotic episodes with self-harm usually involved me blacking out, slamming my head against the wall until I got a concussion, tearing out some of my own fingernails, painting the walls with blood, tearing up my room and passing out for a full day afterwards. The ones where I hurt other people typically started with me spending ludicrous amounts of money on sex toys, clothing and expensive liquor, getting shitfaced drunk, then stalking people and attacking them with knives.
Psychosis is ugly, it ruins your life, it is not something you want and it will not get you the attention you're so desperate for. It just ruins your fucking life.
>>28082201
>implying you ever got a degree in psychology and didn't just take a few years worth of courses
>implying one of the cardinal rules of psychology is to never diagnose yourself, even if you're a veteran psychologist
An actual psychologist would laugh at you if you told them you did this
>>28082358
>What's a psychotic episode?
http://www.cedarclinic.org/index.php/understanding-early-psychosis/early-signs-of-psychosis
you seem to be more of a hypocondriac or attention whore though, to be honest
>>28082358
>What's a psychotic episode?
you lose the ability to distinguish between what's real and what's not.
severe hallucinations, not being able to speak real words, very intrusive delusions and nonsensical thought that you believe anyway, etc.
it's different for everyone so i can't tell you what it would be like for you. many don't remember what they did or why they did it.
think of the people who "go crazy" after taking PCP or bath salts and that's kind of what it's like.
>Would cutting up your arms then painting your face with eye liner be considered a psychotic epside?
no. that's just abnormal behavior.
regardless. if you're hearing "rooms full of people" or "footsteps behind" you then you need to tell that to your psych.
>>28082264
AvPD isn't really about being edgy at all, calm down guy. Self diagnosis is silly, sure, but if he's going to therapy, all it boils down to is he's identified an issue and wants a name to put on it, he's not throwing it around to get attention.
>>28082238
How old are you? I'm pretty sure you're exaggerating shit, you're very coherent for someone who's apparently suffering psychosis, but seriously, go to your psych, organise a planned stay in a ward, get some proper care, where they can see your behaviours, and tell what's going on with you even if you don't know what you really think or not, it's the only way to get a proper diagnosis if you don't think you can be honest with your doctor, and if you're seriously experiencing minor psychotic symptoms, you run the risk of a full blown episode, which isn't a situation you ever want to be in, even in the early ones I suffered from, I cut at least two people pretty badly, and was forcibly put into wards with a police escort.
And those were the early ones, so ignoring that I hate trips, go get some proper help, no-one should have to go through that shit, and it can ruin your life much worse than any medication will, or any doctor that you don't like could. Worst case scenario, you just go to a place where food is provided and you're able to see if it's anything to do with your external life causing your symptoms, with doctors and professionals on hand to let you learn how to handle it but are a bit miserable and bored for a few weeks, but aren't in any worse situation when you get out, and best case you get proper medication, learn how to cope with any residual symptoms, and don't suffer from anything else in the future.
>>28082264
I already addressed your charge, at least respond to my reply before indirectly attacking me.
I can't prove I have AvPD, anymore than anyone else on here can prove they have a mental disorder. I wish I didn't have cripplingly low self-esteem, I wish I didn't have a long family history of mental illness, I wish I was off partying and dating and whatnot. I'd have a bigger problem than AvPD if I got my kicks from sitting around on /r9k/ pretending to be mentally ill for shits and giggles.
>>28082338
Thanks for the in-depth response, I appreciate it. I have considered that I might have bipolar instead, since my father suffers from it (clinically diagnosed this time) and I've often experienced manic periods followed by depression. My father never took meds during my childhood, and was pretty emotional abusive, so it's possible I'm just bipolar, and the more AvPD-type symptoms are due to that.
>>28082201
>shocker
>screw off
>over 18
My sides when
>>28082487
Actually, I take back what I said here.
If you've been in a ward and released from involuntary care, you're not as bad as you think you are, the people there are experts at picking up on abnormal behaviour, particularly psychotic ones based on the observations they take, not just your sessions with a psych.
Drawing on your face is strange, but not psychotic in nature, neither is self harm. The fact you're tripping with the name of Ihatemyself makes me think you're just an attention whore though.
Tell your doctor if you're honestly having any hallucinations, but the way you're acting about it all makes me doubt that you actually are.
>>28082527
My parents never allowed us to swear, so my siblings and I adopted pseudo-cursing. I type the way I think, and I don't swear in my head. Yes, it's juvenile and reddit tier, I acknowledge that.
>>28082487
I've been to the ward and been released. I've already got all the help I could get
None of this changes the fact that I lash out at people standing in front of me when walking or physically go through the motion and emotions of gouging out the eyes of an attacking dog or feel like cutting my face off when I see someone attractive.
The early psychosis professionals just said that I was fine. Maybe it's just a philosophical problem rather than a psychotic issue. Maybe I am a hypochondriac
>>28082503
No worries anon, you seem to be being honest about what you're suffering from. It's definitely possible you suffer from bipolar instead, and the fact your dad suffered from it makes that even more likely, but I can't diagnose you, and honestly, you can't either.
Just try to take note of what your behaviours are each day. Get a mood chart and graph it, see how it changes over a few months while you do therapy, let your psych know you're doing this. If I had to guess I'd say that AvPD is the less likely option, it's more likely to be anxiety brought on by whatever's causing suicidal thoughts, but it's easy to mix those up even clinically speaking, let alone in yourself.
The best advice I can give though, is just be honest with whoever you see, make sure you're not telling them symptoms leading them towards certain diagnosis, and try everything they tell you to do (excluding medications, discuss the risks of each one with them before you decide to take it or not, but take something if they think you can't benefit from just therapy alone).
>>28082599
You evidently haven't, seeing as you're still suffering from some intrusive thoughts, but yeah, trust the early psychosis professionals, they're specialists in seeing the early signs of it, and they wouldn't tell you you're fine if you're at risk of developing something in the future.
It's absolutely possible you're a hypochondriac, or an alternative I've seen with some people is that they feel a sense of inadequacy, or lack of identity, and fill that with being mentally ill. They'll exaggerate or make up symptoms, but totally believe these are real, and as bad as they think, but don't really fit properly into any disorder, and function much better than their symptoms would lead you to expect.
Have you honestly tried the therapy they recommend? Like, incorporated them into your day to day life? Because it sounds like that's going to help you a lot more than medications will at this point, unless the intrusive thoughts are so bad you can't cope with them.Tell your doctor and let them decide though.
Fuck all you unmedicated cunts, I am still up at 5 in the morning because even the increased valproate and quetiapine aren't working.
Psychosis sucks; sorry schizobros. Been there on some rough manias. Scary, and very, very scary for people to watch. I feel a little guilty.
>>28081941
You ever been on aripiprazole? Side effects nearly ruined me. First agitated, then depressed
>>28081998
GUESS WHO'S ABOUT TO BE SECTIONED.
Take your meds before it's too late. I'm sure you know by now how uncomfortable people can make your life if you don't want to come down. And sooner or later you gotta come done, one way or another.
Lately my visual snow has been getting increasingly bad and I'm so tired of this constant derealization for months.
Why can't I just fucking feel real and not have all this shit in my fucking eyes even in pitch darkness
Why can't there be a fucking treatment for this
Why aren't I receptive to therapy
>>28082487
>>28082464
>>28082441
How do I fix being an attention whore?
>>28083034
What is this even I am confused
>>28083034
visual snow is not a mental illness, you are in the wrong thread
>>28083055
Finding your biological father and asking him why he doesn't love you would be a good start
>>28082082
>>28082086
>>28082959
stop being carefully
the whole year I'm a neet never going out
without my meds it feels possible to find a girlfriend and get laid before I get depressive I will take my meds again
my mum tried to convince me to take them I literally slapped her, since then she knows that I have everything under controle!
>>28083139
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/basics/definition/con-20033401
pic related is what my vision looks like basically all the time.
>>28083179
but derealization is and visual snow often accompanies it.
>>28083055
Therapy. Find what it is that makes you feel inadequate, as if you aren't getting enough approval in your real life, and address that.
People who have histrionic behaviours (you don't have the disorder, but the traits are histrionic in nature) tend to have serious self esteem issues, and derive some sense of worth from getting attention from others.
You're admitting this is the issue, so what you need to do is find out what you feel insecure about. Do this with your therapist, he (or she) is going to know how to do that much better than you can. Realise you're going to need to be honest and do shit you really don't want to do in order to fix this though, there's no way around that, medications can't do it, you need to work hard.
>>28083242
Why do all that when I can get drunk every day?
i hate threads like this. op is romanticizing mental illness, you can tell by the pic that he/she thnks its cool and edgy. im pretty sure you dont even have schitzophrenia because if you did your life would be a living hell and you wouldnt think of it as if your angelina jolie is "girl interrupted" or whatever hollywood bullshit you think mental illness is like.
>>28083279
>hey guys how do I stop being such a faggot
>get told how to stop
>lolnothanks
kill yourself
>>28083279
Because alcoholism will just lead you to a point where you're miserable and have absolutely nothing in your life but your failing liver.
Do you know any happy alcoholics? There's a reason that AA is so incredibly widespread.
Also, why ask me how to fix something if you're just going to reply with a snarky response anyway?
>>28083435
I suffer from assholism
>>28083242
therapy is fucking horseshit
yeah pay some fucking faggot to waste your time for a few hours sounds like a great way to feel "better"
fuck you
>>28083497
confirmed for seeing only school counselors and never having actually received decent therapy from a specialist
>>28083453
Well, I can't help you if you're just going to reply with shit like that. Good luck, hopefully you'll at least listen to what you've been told in this thread.
Also, I'd recommend spending less time on this board, it's worse than any of the others for people with any vulnerabilities, and you'll find it nearly impossible to recover while browsing here.
>>28083523
but how does that make you feel, anon?
>>28083523
>tfw been to 5 therapists and every single one just makes me lol at their lame attempts to help me think differently or in CBT to recognize my thoughts and feelings that lead to my issues
if i was capable of just not thinking those things then i wouldn't need to see a fucking therapist. no matter how much you open your mouth at me you can't change my irrational thoughts.
I have had PTSD, OCD, a nightmare disorder and MDD for about 18 years.
I've tried almost every medication on the market. I've been diagnosed as medication resistant and have been recommended for ketamine trials. Been in therapy since I was 4.
My life is hell and I want it to end.
>>28083497
Why the fuck do you still exist? You've been one of the worst trips here for years.
And also, do you not know what therapy is? It's not just talking about your issues you moron, it's a proven method for giving individuals the tools to handle the stuff they have to deal with day to day, and is incredibly effective.
But of course, a person who's spent years trying to create an identity on an online forum is totally going to know more than an entire medical field of highly educated individuals that specialise in this exact topic.
>>28083523
See
>>28083571
It's complete garbage designed to exploit normies who are just "going through a rough patch" and will eventually return to their normal states anyway.
No matter what anyone else says or does, shit won't change because of some cuck therapist's words.
tourette here
not being able to stand still is kinda shitty
coprolalia is controlable somewhat
>living in germany
>everything gets paid
>free choice without financial worries
fells good man desu
>>28083571
Maybe if you'd actually do the therapy instead of just going there and talking to them it would help anon. Or are you a special snowflake that totally isn't helped by therapy unlike most people with mental illness? Because it's proven to help, and is easily as useful as medication even in extreme situations like schizophrenia, where you'll still have some symptoms even with meds.
>>28083620
>Durr, I know more than psychiatrists about their specialty
No shit just them talking at you won't change anything, you have to actually do it. Stop trying to drag everyone down with you, you're still a failure even if you're surrounded by failures.
>>28083714
I've been in therapy since I was 12 years old and I am now 24. Not once has anything the therapist ever told me to do or think helped.
Most of the time the shit she wants me to think or do or the shit she says to me when I answer her questions just makes me feel disgusting and pathetic. Like I need a hugbox or something.
>>28083571
>>28083620
>be in therapy for years, thinking the same thing that you are
>actually get a competent psychologist with decades of experience and countless successes
>starts me on no bullshit like CBT or mindfulness or whatever but a militant therapy
>come in twice a week to do the sessions and do shit at home every single day, sometimes twice a day
>start seeing results two weeks in
>it's been a month and he's helped me more than every other therapist I've ever seen combined
>it's only getting better
>hear dumbasses like you who are convinced you're incurable and that an entire profession is bogus
enjoy your extremely diminished quality of life with no hope of it ever getting better, I'll be over here actually doing something about my problems and enjoying living like a healthy person. therapy isn't just talking to someone about your issues, if that's all the shrink is doing you'd best be fucking seeing someone else.
>Stop using my schizophrenia meds a year and a half ago
>Stockpiling them
>Going to overdose on them, and then jump off a nearby cliff once things get too shitty
Just thinking about it makes me all tingly and warm.
>>28083787
Have you been seeing the same therapist for the last twelve fucking years that's done nothing to help you and makes you feel uncomfortable? Don't you see how fucking stupid that is?
>>28083827
>Have you been seeing the same therapist for the last twelve fucking years that's done nothing to help you and makes you feel uncomfortable
No. Like I said earlier, I've seen 5 therapists in that 12 year span. ALL of them make me feel that way and have done nothing to help.
>>28083823
antipsychs won't kill you with an overdose unless you take an absolutely insane amount and you'll probably end up vomiting enough of them to stay alive but brain damaged.
jump off a bridge or OD on black tar instead.
>>28083845
How are you finding these therapists? Are you checking their history, making sure that they have published papers, involved in research, have helped a lot of other people, have enormous amounts of experience? You should be trying to see the best people possible. Your average shrink is a complete joke, you really have to look and find the people who are the top of their chosen field. If you have schizophrenia, you should be looking for someone who specializes in treating schizophrenia. If you're bipolar, you should be looking for someone who's got decades of experience treating people with bipolar disorder. Even if it means spending more money or driving ludicrous distances to find someone, your mental health is the most important thing and it's absolutely worth putting in the effort to find someone who actually has the capacity to help you. Who won't baby you or make you feel pathetic.
>>28083787
Maybe you're seeing the wrong therapist? Not every style works for every person, the same as medications.
And if you go in with the mindset of "they're patronising and it won't work", it won't fucking work, you need to actually try all of it every day, as >>28083794 said.
Look for a therapist that is more hardline and doesn't fuck around if you're annoyed that people treat you like a child, or lesser. Any psychiatrist will be able to recommend you someone like that, it's just a matter of asking.
Therapy helps people with incredibly severe mental illnesses, you're not a special snowflake, you're not incurable, and your personal anecdote certainly doesn't discredit the entire field. Patients that do therapy have a far better recovery rate than those that don't, both with and without medication.
>>28083931
Motherfucker I'm on medicaid. I don't have choices like that. I see whoever takes my insurance.
The "thinking differently" shit they want me to do to get away from my destructive thoughts or recognizing the irrationality of the thoughts is what makes me uncomfortable and in the latter's case is completely fucking useless. They can tell me 9000 and 1 ways to not put myself into a self defeating cycle and it doesn't make a difference.
>>28083945
>your personal anecdote certainly doesn't discredit the entire field.
I didn't say it did. I said it doesn't work on me and it hasn't in 12 years.
>you're not incurable
Well maybe 2 of my four issues aren't but two of them actually are. One is supposed to be best treated by therapy but it doesn't help. Nothing they've ever told me helps pull me out of a state of derealization or manage the anxiety and anger that comes from being like that for weeks at a time.
>>28084033
>I didn't say it did. I said it doesn't work on me and it hasn't in 12 years.
The argument was about therapy being a waste of time, and you made a point supporting that. Context is important.
>Well maybe 2 of my four issues aren't but two of them actually are
I doubt it, very few mental issues are incurable. Derealization isn't, though it's better treated with medications generally, and is often symptomatic of other stuff anyway. And are you seriously implying that therapy won't help you manage strong emotions? That's probably the most common use of therapy, and it absolutely does.
Doc wants me to take anti anxiety meds because he is saying my anxiety borders on paranoia
Don't want to take those fucking devil pills. I've heard so much about how SSRI's are fucking the worst things ever. I don't want to
But sometimes I just wish I could make it all stop, and then the medications seem like a good idea.
I need advice. Anyone here taken them before? Experiences?
>>28084033
>seeing people who take medicaid
>who try and talk you out of intrusive thoughts and irrational thinking
well no fucking shit it's not working, you're wasting your fucking time with those people. continuing to see them and hearing the same shit will not help anyone other than their pocketbooks. you need actual help, not the bullshit they're shilling.
if you can't afford a better therapist, you can try to get one to see you pro bono or for a very reduced rate. explaining your situation to someone can go a very, very long way towards getting better care. I once was able to see a forensic psychiatrist who charged $5000 for an initial consultation for $100, and only paid $15 for each session after that when it should have cost hundreds. Needless to say he didn't just try and tell me to think differently.
There is no cure for almost every mental illness. What you learn in therapy is how to better manage your symptoms. You're taught how to live with the worst of it, how to minimize it, how to get better. You may never be like some normalfag without a care in the world but things can get a LOT better.
>>28084096
>Derealization isn't, though it's better treated with medications generally, and is often symptomatic of other stuff anyway
Except it's not curable. The only medications that "treat" it are anxiolytics for what is basically palliative care. Therapy is supposed to be the most effective and it is worthless for me.
It's not symptomatic of other stuff because I've been diagnosed with the damn disorder.
You sperged out earlier about how visual snow isn't a mental health issue even though it's caused by an issue in the brain just like schizo but I guess I won't push that. That one is actually incurable.
> are you seriously implying that therapy won't help you manage strong emotions?
I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you that in 12 years of never ending depression, borderline paranoiac social anxiety, and derealization (the snow is only a few years old) that therapy has never helped me with any of those issues nor has it helped me manage any of the emotions that come with those issues.
>>28084155
SSRIs are dangerous. There's no sugar-coating it. The side effects are monstrous, you can become very dependent on them, a lot of docs push them because they have financial incentives to. If you have never been on them before, if your symptoms main line of treatment is SSRIs, if you are NOT bipolar or have any other form of mania and if you can take the medication as you're instructed, give them a try. Cautiously. If any of those things don't apply, insist that you try a different class of medication. If your doctor refuses, get a new doc.
>>28083202
No, you go too fast and you end up in prison, injured or dead. If you're still thinking "mania is so great, I can do all these things now!" then you need to grow the fuck up and go to your doctor. That is bipolar 101 ffs
Clicked that early signs of psychosis link anon posted earlier and I cant tell whenther I should be concerned or not
My magical thinking is never ending. I believe we are all tied together and that the time for a great upheaval is coming soon. Star seeds and indigo children are all over the world bringing their light to uplift all those oppressed by the tyrannical powers of those who rule now.
You can tell by the news. they are losing control. We need a lightbringer. We have many, but one must appear for all to rally behind
Sometimes I dont sleep for a day or two
I just want to run and run, or fight, or build something
I want to create, destroy
I belivve that my soul can touch yours, and that the government uses all our electronic devices to track and record our communications, I know this is true, but I feel that if they were after me in particular they would be breaking down my door already.
That is the thought that keeps me sane from the paranoia. If they wanted me they would already be here
For now I prepare my body and mind for the future. They can take all that I have in the physial but not my knowledge that I have to share with the star seeds that will bring about the change this earth so desparately needs lest we wipe ourselves from her
>>28084155
>anxiolytic
>SSRI
pick one fucktard
>>28084158
I live off of section 8 vouchers and $450 per month in SSI. I can't afford to pay $100 to go see some psychiatrist.
Maybe if my shitty psychiatrist would stop being a faggot and give me benzos so I can manage my anxiety and actually get a job then it would be possible to maybe try a decent therapist, but he's told me dozens of times that he will never prescribe me a benzo even though they've helped me before and every other anxiolytic he's given me didn't do anything.
>>28084211
Dunno. Don't even have a diagnosis. Doc and I (who I like a lot and have been seeing for many months) both are kinda against pathologizing people's psychology into diagnosis, but he says that "you have a lot of anxiety and fears that aren't put in check by logic", so he wants me to consider. I told him I would.
>>28084274
Sorry, I just looked up the treatments for anxiety and SSRI's were the first. I'm not sure what they'd put me on or what my diagnosis could be.
>>28084268
Sometimes I have to convince myself that others can't see my intrusive thoughts.
It takes a lot
I want a place to express myself but I know that as soon as I press pen to paper they will have the evidence they need to dissappear me as soon as they see fit.
Sometiems I cant decide whether I want to cry or laugh or screamm but usually I do nothing so my poor family doesnt have to deal with me again. They have been through enough stress and financial difficulty because of me
I wish to prepare for the future. I will teach thse who are willing but I trust noone. this is problem to me some time.
I wish to have a thousand acres in the middle of nowhere. many people to live together as a family and support each other. Deely entrenched within the earth herself todeny those who would wish to harm the innocent.
I will shut the fuck up now. I mist do running now until the dawn
>>28084200
Sure, curable is the wrong word, it's manageable. And no medications are specifically designed for it, but plenty of medications used for other disorders are shown to be more effective than placebo, so you're not correct there.
>It's not symptomatic of other stuff because I've been diagnosed with the damn disorder.
>implying comorbidity isn't a significant factor in treating disorders
If a disorder can impact others, it can be nearly impossible to treat one without the others.
>You sperged out earlier about how visual snow isn't a mental health issue
Wasn't me, that was some other guy. Visual snow is absolutely a symptom of mental illness.
>I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you that in 12 years of never ending depression, borderline paranoiac social anxiety, and derealization (the snow is only a few years old) that therapy has never helped me with any of those issues nor has it helped me manage any of the emotions that come with those issues.
I mean, lets be honest, you've only been an adult for half of that. Take control of your treatment, find people that specialise in your issues, not just those in the public system, and work fucking hard at it.
Because if the therapy doesn't even help you manage strong emotions, you're not doing the therapy, the most basic forms of therapy are designed to help people cope with that stuff, and it's insanely effective.
>>28084211
SSRI's are very, very mild medications, they're not monstrous, and the worst effect you can get coming off them is a bit of insomnia and brain zaps, though those are incredibly rare, and only happen cold turkey really.
But you're right that you should always be cautious about taking any medication, and never take them if you're bipolar, though no decent doctor would prescribe them if there was a risk of that being the case either.
Don't fear them, but take it seriously, you don't want to deal with any side effects if possible.
But compared to even SNRI's, they're not too bad.
>>28084425
>Take control of your treatment, find people that specialise in your issues, not just those in the public system, and work fucking hard at it.
Okay. As soon as the money fairy comes and gives me $10k so I can start bouncing between psychs and therapists until I find one that isn't a piece of shit.
Until that point it's just not possible for me to go see private psychs and therapists. I can barely afford my bills right now and I get shit tons of government assistance.
>Because if the therapy doesn't even help you manage strong emotions, you're not doing the therapy, the most basic forms of therapy are designed to help people cope with that stuff, and it's insanely effective.
All I know is this:
Therapy has not been effective for anyone in my family and it isn't effective for me. I don't shut out the therapist and just ignore what she tells me; it just doesn't work. For some reason I have the same issue with most medications where regardless of the dose they simply don't work. Treatment resistance I guess.
Keep asking my psych for ECT or TMS but he said never to those as well even though I've been on literally every SSRI, tricyclic, and most of the antipsychotics.
>>28084268
You are exactly why I love schizophrenics.
Yes, you should be very concerned, and you should get yourself to a psychiatrist quickly. That "magical thinking" contains themes that are typical of schizophrenia". If you can't walk in to the psychiatrist, then your physician or psychologist can refer you. Either way, if you can't get an urgent appointment, or if things start becoming bizarre and frightening, then you should just check yourself into the ward.
>>28084613
My friend life is bizarre
This is the new normal. As I came to accept it everything has shifted into place. Everything feel bright and true. Nothing is scary because when they decide to come for me I will have my chance to fight and die or become a martyr for the new world.
It will be a place of lovebecause love is the only thing strong enough to overcome the fear and hate that they must instil in us to keep their power structure valid
Some call them reptiles, but I don;t think this is literal. I believe it is just reference to the love that reptiles do not feel . instead hate and fear throught the media is constant bombarding us to hate each other instead of coming together and banishing the invaders
I saw the arrow\in the sky above my house and heard my grandfathers voice he said the stars make an arrow that points to the hosue\\
i could never see it but now I know why. it is not 24 or 3d the arrow has volume and depth between the stars
Everything is becoming clear. Why would I have them suppress all of this new and wonderful insight?
I feel I am becoming more in tune with the universes harmony and it feels right.
>>28084778
I had always looked for two dimensional flatness, like the lines for the rest of the constellations but is is three dimensional and four that I saw. I SAW IT
>>28080331
Not diagnosed, but I for sure have OCD.
I'm washing my hands I don't know how many times a day, well over a couple dozen times. I'll be washing the sink's faucet after my dad's touched it and I'll be washing dishes after my mom's washed them. I can't handle my computer's mouse without a tissue and same for my game controllers. I have intrusive thoughts. I get anxious around uneven numbers, except the number 3, and do some basic math in my head to gets those numbers even or down to 3 and that calms me down. Everything in my room has to be symmetrical and aligned a certain way.
My parents are mild hoarders as well, which not only bother the shit out of me but that as well can be a manifestation of OCD.
I smoked weed for 10 years as a form of self-medication but having been NEET for a while and my dealer being out of the business, I've gone back to cleaning my little rituals.
I supposed I could get medical cannabis. but I actually do enjoy the cleaning, not so much all the other stuff.
>>28084950
Does the number have to reduce to 3 or is it enough if its divides evenly into thirds?
>>28084811
are you smoking like a fiend yet
>>28083202
>my mum tried to convince me to take them I literally slapped her, since then she knows that I have everything under controle!
fuck having children.
>>28085179
I ran out of herb and money weeks ago. Now i just try to sleep as much as I can and drink sometimes but I feel like I might end up an alcohol.
Sometimes I like my adderal but I like to eat sometimes it feels like if I take it I spend all night pacing and cackling by myself in the dark trying to not wake up my family
I've thought about smoking that but I'm pretty sure I dont need any more braindamage
>>28082433
>>implying one of the cardinal rules of psychology is to never diagnose yourself, even if you're a veteran psychologist
I am genuinely curious as to where you got his information from.
>>28085017
yeah if I can divide it by x and that comes out to 3, then I feel better. A lot of times the equation makes no sense like I'll randomly add numbers together or throw new numbers into the mix.
Like your post number ends with a "7", 28085017, but
28 + 08 = 36
5 + 7 = 12 x 01 = 12
36/12 = 3
and I feel better
>>28085464
Actually it's true. Psychologists and the like are taught NEVER to diagnose themselves, EVER
>>28085504
Neat!
I bet you;re pretty good at mental math then
I have been taking effexor for the past month and a half. So far depression and anxiety have been somewhat better but the side effects are annoying. It raises your blood pressure a shit ton and caused me to be more anxious for the first three weeks or so while I was building up my dosage. It makes me sweaty as fuck and I get cotton mouth even with the XR version. Luckily I just got a script of propranolol to lower my blood pressure which should mitigate most of the side effects.
Not too bad overall, I am now up to a dose that actually has positive effects as well.
Anyone taking venlafaxine/effexor here? Or SSRI in general. How is it going for you? Worth it?
>>28085535
hhmmm a little bit, but it's ironic (?) because I actually hate math and the -EM of the STEM disciplines.
>>28085464
not him just a lurker but here are links friendo
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/debunking-myths-the-mind/201005/the-dangers-self-diagnosis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-diagnosis
tl:dr self diagnosing scum can go off themselves for attention for all i care just fuck off my board
>>28085645
I bet you would kill yourself if you ever had to give actual answers for even simple integrals that end up being like (4sqrt(3))/13
