Help me get a job
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What's up /r9k/ so here's the deal, my mummy says I have to get a job or she is kicking been out. There is this restaurant near my house that pays good so I want to apply there. The problem is I am a lifelong NEET with no experience filling out an application. I have nothing to lose so I am just going to lie to give myself the best resume so I get hired, so what should I put down?
Part two of my original application
Lie and tell them you HAVE committed a crime; employers love people that have the balls to just take whatever they want regardless of social consequences. It shows that you're a dynamic go-getter with a lot of energy.
>>28078978
Do you really think this would work? I guess a lot of HR people are women and they do like the bad boys. What should my crime be?
>>28078868
Lol sucks to be you. I'm on disability and get $740 per month for sitting on my ass. My mom doesn't make me pay rent. She pays all the bills plus my phone bill and car insurance.
Your mom is low tier, your application is low tier, your life is low tier.
is this what an american application looks like?
Just go to a temp agency, get a warehouse job. Paid to exercise, or be bored for 8 hours a day. Meet some interesting motherfuckers working with you.
>>28079169
Fuck working in factories dude. Bartenders and waiters get twice as much pay for 1/4 of the effort.
>>28079108
Yes this is the average application for an entry level American job. Not sure how they expect someone to have three references and three previous jobs for an entry level position but that is where the lying comes in
>>28079327
But for socially inept failures like us, customer service is literal hell on earth.
>>28079401
I'll just get high or drunk dude, drug use is rampant in the food services industry
bumping this thread to help OP find a job
>>28078868
your picture gave me a panic attack
>they ask you if you smoke
>>28078868
Have you considered a job eatig cummies?
>>28078868
how old are you, OP?
Just wondering...
>>28078994
>What should my crime be?
Stealing the hearts of many beautiful women
>>28078868
I don't understand why employers check your credit. What does that have to do with having a job?
>>28078868
How old are you?
Also, just lie about having had related jobs.
No need to say it was paid or anything, just say they were jobs to get some experience.
However, be really careful. Don't describe a job that's exactly like what you'll be doing, because then they'll expect you to know a lot of what to do.
Is the "what do you think" questions, just write what you think they want to hear. They don't really want to know what you think.
As an aside, American job applications are weird.
>>28081055
they want phone numbers
>>28078868
kek OP are you in MI? I googled the company name. I'm in MI to, hi
>>28081086
You should only make one up, and make the phone number wrong. That's when you say "oh they must have changed it". Alternatively, have some friends prepared, give them their numbers, have friends lie for you.
Any volunteer experience? Freelancing? Internships? Think hard, OP.
>>28078868
try doing online work. Rev.com pays good money to do closed captions. There are virtual assistant jobs out there you can do.
>>28081330
how much per hour?
>>28081101
yee michigan has a large number of robots for some reason
>>28081164
>friends
Where do you think we are?
