Has anyone here ever committed or thought about committing a crime? (No basic shit like robbing a jelly.)
Rape, assault(of another guy) theft b&e and minor shit like graffiti
I help buried a body. that was murdered by someone I know.
Not really.
I got a DMCA for torrenting tranny porn in 2007 and i never paid a window tint violation ticket when I borrowed my dad's car
>>28075751
you raped someone? Tell us
Fucked a jelly
>>28075781
Seriously? Tell us about it, anon. Greentext, preferably.
Not sure if it falls under basic shit or not but I used to shoplift and steal things from people's houses when I'd visit them and stolen things from teachers that they left on their desk. I stopped shoplifting after I got caught though (nothing actually happened because when the guard swung my bag past the security gate or whatever it's called it didn't ring a second time so he let me go)
I killed a big fish
yanked em right out of the water with a stick and some string
never been the same man since
>>28075707
My friend and I raped a hooker and robbed her, we took a cab to a hotel party got a room room to crash in we used cash, anyhow 3am we were drunk as fuck went on redbook had a white hoe come by she was dropped off we raped her and stole her purse and booked it after didnt get caught would do it again
Drug stuff. A lot of drug stuff. Several felonies. I don't even know how many felonies I've technically committed, but I'm sure it's over 15. I've been sober for a while though, sorry NSA, you ain't got shit on me.
>>28075790
No big deal. I was hanging out with a girl and she didn't want to fuck. I forced myself on her and she cried the whole time. There was little violence involved and nothing was ever reported.
I got my dick sucked by a tranny when i was drunk as fuck, I would consider that a crime
>>28075707
I pirated windows once
>>28076006
B U L L S H I T
>>28075707
I robbed a jelly and told my dad after we got home.wew lad, I thought he wouldn't stop talking
>>28076006
I raped a girl as well, she thought she could hang with us drinking and after 2 shots of everclear she blacked out, anyhow she didnt move I pulled her panties down and shorts down and fucked her came in her too fuck it, she didnt even move she woke once and grabbed her face then blacked out again so I just pumped away
>>28076045
Not BS, many women wont report their rape
Nice try Mr. FBI agent
>>28076016
That's literally not a crime though. Not in the US anyway
I thought I got raped by a dude when I blacked out once oh well, I'll prob rape him back
>robbing a jelly
w-what's a jelly
i don't speak britbong
>>28076113
I got raped by 10 FBI traps
>>28076133
It was pretty gay though I think next time I'm going to butt fuck her
>>28075869
>April 14 2016
>Get a call from someone I know
>Not sure if friend but closest thing to it
>Is speaking rather quickly words seem jumbled
>"I fucked up man" Ask for me to meet him
>Stop at the corner of bar I visit and where I met him
>See his car parked on the other side of the street
>I go to him he gets out the car after he sees me
>I can tell he's somewhat drunk
>Walk behind to the trunk he opens
>Dead body of girl mid twenties?
>I don't ask what happened seemed rude at the time
>I ask what does he want me to do?
>Tells me he needs to get rid of the body
>I get back in my car and drive I put the body in my trunk
>Go home to pick up a shovel
>Buy cement
>Buy water tanks 55 gallons? I threw them away afterwards
>Go to a park that's going to get torn down
>Dig a hole put the dead girls body in it
>Put a layer above her of cement
>on top of the layer dirt I dug out
>Go back home
>haven't gotten a call from him or seen him at the bar
>>28076213
Dig up the body and timestamp it
>>28076213
I put the dirt above the cement sorry if any confusion
I trap out and let black men fuck my boipussy
>>28076213
Damn lad, you're like Michael from Breaking Bad.
>>28076213
This happened 9 fucking days ago? You're handling it well enough to post about t?
>>28075707
Possesion.
I am a massive faggot
I downloaded a movie.
>>28076327
I don't really feel much empathy or sympathy for anything long before I did that.
>>28076213
post location
I forgot I raped someone prior to having this thread, multiple times, it was an ex girlfriend though so I don't really consider it to be rape.
Beyond that petty theft, will just grab clothes and shoes from my university's laundry room and sell them at a consignment store. Easy money
>>28076425
Oh and when I used to work retail I stole every day but just a bunch of work out supplements that I wound up throwing out. At Best Buy I managed to snag a few games but they were cracking down since someone managed to steal dozens of iPads
>>28076422
Massachusetts
>>28076461
I mean coordinates
>>28075707
Well I've smoked an illegal substance (weed), helped transport large amounts of drugs across state lines, paid a hooker for sex, stolen many things from my work, vandalized a skate park at night, and drove unregistered vehicles a bunch of times.
Nothing truly awful, but fuck the gubmint and its laws I dindu nuffin.
>>28076476
harvard street cambridge
I wont get more specific then that.
When I was a lot younger, my friend hotwired a bulldozer and a front end loader and we played giant battlebots with them.
Then he smashed a bunch of construction supplies and shit, which I chewed him out for.
>>28076213
>Go to a park that's going to get torn down
ya dun fucked up
she'll be found when they're doing landscaping for whatever is being put in after the park is done
>>28076006
Please kill yourself my original man
>>28076627
I'm moving from the state and It's not like it can be traced to me.
>>28076546
you buried her here, didn't you anon?
Even put down a tomb stone.
I had sex with my niece. She was 12 and I was 21.
She wanted it though and has never ratted me out and is always happy to see.
>>28075707
Hello gentleman and much oblige. I must thank you for all your valuable information. To reward you we're giving all of you an expense paid stay at one of our finest federal prisons. The complentary maple syrup and well endowed black roommate our on us!
I stole an unattended pen once like 6 years ago.
I felt like a nigger.
Only real crime I've done is hiding a camera whenever a girl comes over. I have a few home movies which is illegal since they didn't consent to it.
I don't really consider it a crime, but I lost my virginity to a passed out chick. She was being way overly touchy with me before then, so it probably would've happened anyway.
>>28076695
Mate how did that even come up? I'm 21 with a 12 year old cousin and she's still flat and a child. Like 14 I can see, 15 easily, but 12 I don't get
>>28076876
>but 12 I don't get
>in the year 2016
Do you realize how sexualized the world has become, and how easy it is to access anything at any age?
I was looking at Playboy at 12, I can only imagine what middle schoolers are looking at nowadays on their smartphones.
>>28076651
kek
You'd be surprised
>>28076876
ofcourse you wouldn't get it. if you're not into it, you're not into it. for them, them being a flat child is what is attractive.
>>28076651
You fucked up if you think this is true.
I don't believe anything in this thread is real. 20+ yr old virgins are genetically incapable of the bold risk taking, social skills, and networks needed for criminality.
This is probably a trap thread by law enforcement which would not surprise me.
Where all anonymous but if someone with the right amount of resources and time wanted to find us it would not be hard.
This is all past shit that's 5 years+ old.
Involved in complex international drug smuggling for personal usage
Violently assaulted someone by kicking and jumping on them continuously
Armed robbery. Arson. Wilful damage. Unauthorized electronic access. Swatting. Local drug dealing. Drug transportation. Trespassing. Death threats with a weapon. Tried almost all drugs available. Sold almost all drugs available.
I know have a job and a relatively happy life which is crime and drug free.
There are other crimes I've committed which I'm not happy to discuss but my advice is don't do it and don't develop a drug habit it'll get you no where. Most people will lie and over exaggerate their posts on thread.
I could be lying for all you know
>Water whip no doublo five oh
>Weddy gets the wit, compin booshit on ma yaad
>saytu deray, were de chedduh an fuccing eigh wahlet
>Somfoo de whip, solly ou ta da hood preach
>jukk aut dere spillin de Ice, gat de niidle
>outsa nawherr deray flick shots an ise dat uffukka
>peel peel peel peel peeeeeeel
>leh low, no fiv oh
>derai gat hunny tuh roll ma jimmy
>>28075707
I sometimes get intrusive thoughts telling me to hurt people
Also I pirate stuff sometimes
>>28076695
You lucky fucker.
>>28076876
Fucking normie, get out.
Hiroblox
>>28076995
This desu fampai.
This is all bs
>>28076213
Why the hell would you let yourself get cucked like that
A friend once convinced me to help go through someones belongins in black bags because he said they were trash bags so it was free.
Eithef the person died or was moving and left some bags because there were jewelry and trinkets in them. I took a ring and he took a handful of stuff.
I still have the ring and it was valued at about 300usd. I feel like shit whenever i look at it but cant bring myself to throw it or sell it.
>>28075707
I've stolen maybe over $1,000 from my last job over the course of a year or so. Never caught because although we did have security cameras, nobody looks at the footage unless something is reported.
>>28077001
>>28077001
Had I been caught for any of the offenses if I did them now at my age being an adult, I would have gone to jail. I had a good childhood but since I was fairly intelligent and learnt fast from age 12 to 18 I did everything
I regret the people I hurt. A copper once said to me that if I pulled my head in I could make a good life for myself. So I did that
Remember, people, the statute of limitations on federal felonies other than murder is generally five years.
>>28076415
>>28076213
What happened in your life that made you into this sort of person?
This is literally a NSA/FBI honeypot thread for a few reasons:
1. Look at the OP picture, they tried to be "a part" of the group by posting a cute anime girl.
Now interestingly the filename is Anime wallpaper #8 or smth. along the line, which indicates it has been downloaded sloppily from google searching for anime wallpapers.
2. Thread title and OP post are the same, a mistake done by people new to the site
3.The intention behind the question should be clear
(Searching for unstable anons with a hang for crime)
Be safe robots and sage this thread.
Yesterday I jaywalked
>>28077208
Assuming any of what hese Robros said is true
>>28077208
It's obvious everyone is lying in here. You really think guys who can't even get laid are out committing hardcore felonies?
>>28077223
After I hid a body and shot some crank up I jaywalked as well, I also manufacture pounds of meth and
>>28077208
OP here. Fuck off, tinfoil.
I downloaded them all as background images, and labelled them as such, which is why they're all 'Anime Wallpaper #1, #2' etc.
Even if this was an FBI thread, they're not going to track you for posting a potentially falsified offence of 4chan.
>>28076995
>genetically incapable of the bold risk taking, social skills, and networks needed for criminality.
What? Do you think everyone on here's just another autisti. I'm sure /r9k/ has a very psychopaths.
/r9k/ crime is always comfy af
Sold drugs (cocaine, MDMA, LSD), planned to rape and murder some chick pretty much just because she yelled at me. Ofc I didn't go through with it but I really wanted to. I masturbated to the fantasy. Came buckets.
A photographer once elbowed me in the face at a gig (because I wouldn't let him shove me out the way) and I went looking for him afterwards (my favourite band was playing and they don't play here often, wasn't gonna risk being kicked out for fighting). My plan was to steal his camera, take it home with me and throw it in the sea, but I couldn't find him.
I guess I've technically molested girls (not minors), e.g. putting my hand up a skirt despite being told not to (and it wasn't a "token No") more than once. Recently pretty much forced a girl to kiss me.
I shoplift sometimes (I once forgot to pay at the self-checkout, just bagged my stuff and left, and no-one noticed, so now I do it occasionally on purpose).
I really want to fuck a passed-out chick but I think I can probably find a girl who will consent to it, and that way I don't have to risk going to jail.
Once at a festival I set a tent on fire with people in it because they didn't accept my obviously-insincere apology for earlier smearing shit on the tent (my only explanation for why the fuck I did that in the first place is that I was on 100 mg Valium, 10 mg Xanax, a few beers and a 12-strip of acid).
>>28077182
Nothing happened to influence me, I just think something is wrong with me.
I don't feel guilty either.
>>28077377
>I'm sure /r9k/ has a very psychopaths
r9k has 0 psychopaths. A psychopath wouldn't be worried about protecting the white race from niggers or politics in general. They care about themselves and themselves only. Sure they might join a skinhead gang to sell drugs or for a chance to kill someone but they don't really aspire to anything beyond short term thrills.
>>28077318
This^
The FBI isn't reading your 4chan posts, if they wanted to, we would find out about this shit anyway so there's no point in holding back
>>28077470
Why do you think everyone on /r9k/ is into white supremacy and politics? Not saying I'm a psychopath but I don't give a shit about either. Also, psychopaths can have intellectual interests, especially if they can then use their knowledge to impress people.
>>28076006
You are my hero, senpai.
>>28077425
only a nigger would do this. There's no way anyone here would do such horrible things we're clean, God-loving, Christians not atheist apefricans
>>28077540
>Why do you think everyone on /r9k/ is into white supremacy and politics?
Every board on 4chan has at least one nigger thread on it's front page. /v/ always has a thread about why no game should have niggers in it, /x/ always has threads about how creepy niggers are, /co/ has nigger hate threads. It's inescapable here. A psychopath might USE racism to get what they want but they don't really care about protecting their in-group. Trump, for example, has no problem hiring illegal immigrants or promoting ape culture
I collect cheese pizza, I also have taken many creepshots of childrens feet and legs. I'm working up the courage to invite one into my carfor a "photoshoot"
>>28075781
You're a good friend. I have only a couple that I could trust like that.
>>28075707
I helped to "destroy" a bank in a protest. I could even see myself amidst the shitstorm in the news the next day. It felt really good. People should do this more often.
i killed 6 million jews
>>28075707
Well I've groped a woman while she was sleeping once. She woke up but didn't do anything about it.
It's a crime but desu she didn't press charges ayy lmao.
>>28075781
"Hi there it's agent W.Kuck from the New York city FBI Office can I be put through to the IT Forensics. Thanks"
"Hi is this IT Forensics? Can I get an IP address and User Agent from this 4chan user? I emailed you the link to the thread"
"Right so the IP is giving a GPS location in this area. Can we search for any parks that have been recently done up or reconstructed. Any which are in the same area as the suspect. Once you find them send a request to our local agents who are in the city and do some searching around the parks we pulled."
Bye anon
>>28077655
>Every board on 4chan has at least one nigger thread on it's front page
Just because it's a prominent part of a board's culture, doesn't mean everyone on the board cares about it.
>A psychopath might USE racism to get what they want but they don't really care about protecting their in-group
A psychopath can have a sense of humour and participate in nigger threads because they find it funny. While they may not "really care about protecting their in-group", it's not hard to imagine a psychopath reasoning "I am white, therefore white is better", or just finding a sense of power in looking down on people who are different. Also, psychopaths learn from their environment just like everyone else does; if they are frequently exposed to racism they will probably grow up to be racist because that's just "how it is".
Psychopaths are not a "blank slate". They do have personalities and emotions. They can even suffer from mood and anxiety disorders (particularly "secondary psychopaths", aka sociopaths). They can certainly have racist, sexist, etc. views.
>>28075707
Held a person hostage with a knife , fbi came and all.
Luckly autism card got me just a years probation, also helped victim and her family didn't want to press charges but sadly its up to DA so meh.
was right in the middle of the riots when I lived in Birmingham. Stole a bunch of shit.
I wasn't stupid enough to steal big stuff and get caught with it though.
While I was waiting for the bus home I saw some drunk, shirtless guy get dragged off a bus and arrested because he was carrying a 50" plasma tv with the security tags still on it and trying to persuade the rozzers that he had just bought it. All while I stood there with my work bag full of tablets, watches and clothes.
spread out the selling so I didn't get caught and made about 4 grand, bought a PC and had some very heavily drug fuelled evenings. Also bought a very expensive and very skilled escort for 4 hours,
>>28077918
Also forgot I hired a pro to finally take my virginity but couldnt get it up, also she made me use a rubber so it wouldn't have counted anyhow
>>28077879
Cool, I still wont be caught.
>>28077902
A psychopath can be a "racist" in the sense that they feel people in their ingroup can be more useful to them, but it's never in a way where they won't put their own personal pleasure or interests first. If a psychopath gets horny he'll have no problem race mixing for example. If he wants money he won't hesitate to rob or scam other members of his race.
>>28078239
>A psychopath can be a "racist" in the sense that they feel people in their ingroup can be more useful to them
Also in the sense that people who are more like them are inherently better than people who are less like them.
>it's never in a way where they won't put their own personal pleasure or interests first
Agreed. But how does that prevent psychopaths from going on /r9k/, or any other 4chan board?
>Shoplifted headphones and sold them a bunch of times
>Drove up to 110mph one night
>Drove without insurance once
>Trespassing - couple years back tried getting inside an abandoned airliner to look around. Security caught me and told me to fuck off. Airliner has since been destroyed and I still kick myself that I never managed to get inside.
>>28078126
Awww yup dude get with the program.
If this is real you have so much evidence stacked against you
Well...
>Be me 3 years ago
>Grill neighbor in the apartment opposite mine gets undressed with her windows open regularly
>Notice this and then start watching her change
>At some point she and her bf notice me and instead of telling me to stop, they call the police
>Steathly call dad when police arrive just in case
>Got taken to the station for questioning
>Start shitting bricks
>SA police are scary as hell
>Greek lawyer arrives
>In my country you can only get arrested for voyeurism if a person is either recording, taking pictures or masturbating
>Grill and bf couldn't prove I was doing any of those things
>Cops were hoping for a confession
>Left the station in 1 hour
>Get a eviction notice from landlord
>Call dad
>Greek lawyer arrives
>Get apology from landlord
>Grill and bf move the next month
It was a crazy fucking week. My dad and I haven't spoken about it since.
>>28079121
>28079121
sounds like you got a pretty based dad anon
>>28078953
Yep
Even if this anon is joking, if he lives in the USA(which he stated he did) expect a visit from the FBI this week.
The FBI lurking 4chan is not a meme
I don't have car insurance
I stole a wad of panties once from a retail store it was okay
>>28079121
What is the relevance of the lawyer being Greek?
>>28080793
The struggle is real! Rise up, brethen!
One time while driving I was really spaced out and I drove over a crossing with tons of traffic while my traffic light was red.
I was really pissed off over this one guy almost driving into me and was thinking to myself what a retarded maniac he must be.
Then 10 seconds later I saw in the backmirror that the traffic light was still red and thus my light must have been red aswell, then I noped the fuck out of there.
>>28081036
That he could suck him off as a payment.
>>28076213
>seemed rude at the time
considering the situation it would have been very much the opposite? you're a good friend though
>>28075707
Pedo stuff, I stole from stores a few times, did a few drugs and popped some pills.
I do some shoplifting, petty stealing and dumpster diving(it's legal here in Austin but it's illegal in other places). I did help one of my ghetto friends cook meth 2 weeks ago, nothing too bad compared to the other folks in this thread I suppose.....
>>28077181
>Copper
You Ausbro?
I think about stealing pokemon cards alot
i torrent movies
>theatre has a no singles policy
>pretend to be with group
>actualy single
>>28081833
>theatre has penis inspection policy
>pretend to be a genderfluid women and call him a nazi
>actually male and conservative
>>28081748
My close friend steals and sells Pokemon cards from Walmart all the time and never gets caught
>>28080442
More like he didn't want to be embarrassed.
>>28081036
>What is the relevance of the lawyer being Greek?
Greeks are the jews of Africa.
My girlfriend is 16 and looks younger, it's legal here but if I cross certain state lines I'd technically be a criminal
Stole a pack of cigarette lighters as a kid.
>Senior year
>Party in class
>Entire class brings food for class party
>Bring nothing
>End of the school day
>Girl asks if anyone wants their bag of un-opened doritos back
>Pretend that they're mine
>Awkwardly fumble over every word
>Class knows I'm lying through my teeth
>Shamefully walk up to grab them
>Disgusted look from friend of dorito man
>Smile and shimmy back to my desk
>Later that day
>Retarded boy asks me for doritos
>Say no
>Girl looks at me, upset at my course in life
I did it again not long after that.
It's been 3 years since I've graduated.
>>28083230
D-did what again?
>All these fucking niggers and thieves on /r9k/
Christ you're a bunch of normies, mine are
>Lie on family business tax return
>Hidden income
Rape, statutory rape, soliciting minors for sex, kidnapping, transporting a minor across state lines, domestic violence, purchasing intoxicants for minors, DUI, theft, and manslaughter.
>>28083661
>normies
this
>tfw extensive criminal history that I'd never describe in detail on such a huge fucking honeypot
>all these normies and dumbasses openly admitting to or lying about crimes they've never committed
>>28084037
You were actually convicted of all this? Christ how long did you spend in jail?
>>28084056
Just make up a story.
>>28084208
I legitimately derive no pleasure from lying on the internet. If I can't be honest here, of all places, I'd be better off fucking killing myself.
>>28084037
Damn nigga, in a row?
>>28084275
I guess you don't bother trolling either then. Since one must ruse another for le epic troll.
>>28084130
Never convicted. Most of the minor-related stuff was with consenting (15-17 y.o.) partners, but some wasn't. I spent a large portion of my young adulthood as a transient and moved around a lot, and most of my mischief took place in that period. Never hurt anyone who didn't want me to, unless you count non-violent rape as hurting. The "manslaughter" was self-defense when I was homeless; I stabbed a hobo several times in the chest and throat with a knife when he attacked me with a broken bottle. Still perform the occasional petty crime like theft or getting some beers for my 19-20 year old roommates. Nothing crazy like when I was a teen.
>>28084474
Pretty metal for a SUbro
no officer
>>28084444
Most impressive.
>>28084403
Shit dude, I wish I could pull all that off in one go.
>>28084515
Yeah, it's cool show. Most SUfags are sheltered manchildren and autists, but I enjoy it for the great characters, PTSD, and emotional issues. And lesbians. Everyone loves lesbians.
>>28075707
My middle brother attacked my youngest brother with a knife and stabbed him, then chased my mother from the house and trashed the entire insides. He shattered appliances like the TV, stove door, microwave. He pissed on my bothers bed then smeared shit on her walls. He punched holes in every room he could and stole her wedding ring and a bunch of documents before bolting finally. My youngest brothers guinea pig was reeking of alcohol for some reason, and he opened a pack of frozen shrimp and stuffed them into random spots around the house. My mother called me in tears from a state away about all of it.
I called up 3 of my friends and we waited for my brother to leave someones house he knew. We then literally ran up and beat the shit out of him. I fucking monkey stomped him until he cried and begged like a little whiny girl. We tied him and bagged his head, then shoved him in the trunk. (We even disabled the cable in the back).
My friend had a realistic airsoft gun, we took my brother deep down dirt roads into the Arizona desert then threatened him a bunch out there, including shoving the gun at his head a bunch.
We lectured him on being a worthless junky and made it clear if he ever hurt the youngest brother or my mother again he would wind up missing forever. My black friend kept repeatedly asking if he could just fuck him in the ass to keep up the fear.
We untied and unbagged him and they sat on his legs in the back, we drove to a apartment complex in town then spilled him out and left. We cleaned up my mothers house.
Only a few months later he went into prison for 2 years on multiple assault/drug charges unrelated to family. I sent him a few taco packs when he was in the slammer and he cleaned up a lot after he got out. He never talks about the day I beat the shit out of him and kidnapped him while letting a nigger beg to fuck his ass. He's nice to mom now but she wont ever let him come back home.
>>28081036
A lawyers race indicates his power level, even great American authors acknowledge this. Even the dumbest nigger knows he wants a Jewish lawyer and not a black
>>28082781
My wife was 20 when I met her but looked 14. Even now at 25 she looks like she's 16. She could be one of those women who are "bait" for partyvans. I get looks all the fucking time when I go anywhere with her.
At one of my jobs I took her to a formal ball we had for christmas and everyone kept staring. The next day I was asked into my bosses office and when I came in the door slammed and the other higher ups were there with him. I start getting grilled until I prove to them via FB that my fiance was not a 15 year old.
>>28084629
Damn Anon you're pretty cool
Not even memeing
Thats badass
>>28084629
>My black friend kept repeatedly asking if he could just fuck him in the ass to keep up the fear.
Holy shit, anon, I'm dying here.
You did the right thing and didn't take it too far. I'm proud of you.
>>28075963
You should literally kill yourself
>>28084848
Buttmad roastie detected
>>>/tumblr/
>>28084756
We were scared as shit he'd call the cops and they'd just show up at moms house while we were cleaning it and bust us, but with how much of a sheet he had or how scared he was he didn't do it.
Its really bad when your mom calls you and says your middle bro went on a spree with a chefs knife and put a hole in the bathroom door while younger brother was inside freaking out trying not to die. Then the piss/poop/ring stealing. I was beyond rage.
Not illegal but we had another big spat when I was younger. I was 20 living with her and he was 12. He called her a bitch and hit her when I was at work and I heard about it when I came back. The sly fucker said I can't touch him cause I'm an adult+not his dad and threatened to shout to the neighbors I was abusing him if I tried anything, when I confronted him.
I decided to tell him you're right, you're a minor. That means you have no rights to property and dont own anything, mom owns everything in this room and right now she's not going to help you. So I just lifted his tv right over my head and spiked it into the floor demolishing it. He squeals and threatens to kill me, I say wrong answer and just begin trashing his room on every level. Then I stopped and asked if he would say sorry to mom
>FUCK YOUUU!!!!!
Wrong answer so I yanked his bed off the frame and threw it out the front door into the driveway. He still kept threatening me while not doing anything so I went to the fridge and began eating his fav foods. Of all fucking things that finally tipped it and he went and said sorry to mom. Next night I wake up and a note was slipped under my door and he wrote to me that he's going to kill me in my sleep. I just began locking the door and shoving a shoe beneath it. I hear him coining the door then trying to slowly shove at it one night (so much noise) so I just got up and hit him across the face with the other shoe, he did have a knife it turned out but ran back to his room and locked himself in.
>>28084810
nice tumblr image you fucking fag
kill your self
Never for I am a law abiding citizen of the highest moral caliber.
>>28084629
>I sent him a few taco packs in the slammer
you can send taco meals to prison? what country?
>>28075707
I've stolen 7 jellies, all different flavours. I walked right out of my brothers house with them in hand, he didn't notice a thing until later that day. He called me and yelled at me but I evaded police detection and shat out the evidence soon after.
computer fraud
>>28084931
America, I mentioned Arizona in there.
You'd be shocked, a lot of the facilities have a little web page where you can buy gifts with paypal and such for inmates. You can get them snackbars, toiletries, etc. Their kitchens will prepare certain things. So I bought him taco kits a few times.
I've had other friends in the slammer before despite myself normally behaving extremely well. Whenever someone goes into prison they will realize who their actual friends are, people will just disappear and not send you a word for years. When you send someone a gift or note behind bars they normally don't forget it. I decided it might be wise to lighten the scary little fucker up.
No troll though you should see the stuff you can buy inmates, maybe I will do some searching and bring back results.
>>28084897
>he wrote to me that he's going to kill me in my sleep
That would freak me the fuck out. How would you be able to sleep after that? How many times did he try shit?
>>28084997
>>28084931
Well fuck me there's a standardized catalog that re-arranges itself by state.
https://www.accesscatalog.com/
Check this shit out maybe I should make a thread
Remember all those posts about qt waifus in prison for posession?
>>28085025
I didn't sleep well to be honest but his dad used to beat the shit out of me before the divorce and I knew without a doubt that if I doorstopped the door he'd make more than enough noise getting in. I knew he was crazy enough to try it so I was basically waiting for it to happen at least once. After that I slept a little more soundly.
I have always felt even since he was 10 that he was a murder or rape waiting to happen. The guy seems to have been born with literally no conscience. I think he might have an actual brain issue. Never, not even once in his life when he was punished did he show genuine guilt. No matter what he has done he only see's punishment as "people being mean to him" "bullying him" "attacking him". He could walk into someones house and just smash their grandmothers urn for a laugh and if they beat his ass he'd somehow seem to think they did it because they were "evil".
>>28084898
Don't be rude, you autistic cocksucker. It's just a picture.
>>28085050
Do you have to have an inmate's details just to browse the catalog?
>>28075960
lolwtf genuinely kek'd at that greentext
>>28085138
Yeah looks like it, sorry.
Back when, it was just done from a diff website connected to whatever prison. At least you can sorta see the products on the front of their site though. A bit crazy how prison-centric America is huh? I'm glad I got the fuck out
>>28085113
So he's not related to you then?
I was gonna say, even though I'm relatively cold towards my family but I don't think I could beat them up/chimp out on them (even if I was strong).
But then, I guess this kid is a crazy fucker, sooooo.
Brother owed me 100 dolalrs for watching his kid. Wouldn't pay me. I got mad and moved his shit out of my room and he assaulted me.
Next year, he tried to assault me again and I stabbed him. Went to jail for a day. Got probation for a year.
>>28085265
Or I mean, not 100% related anyways. I guess he's a half brother?
>>28085265
He is my half brother, sorry if I was confusing.
I have two half brothers and we share a mother. Their dad was my abusive as fuck stepfather, and he took the doorknob off my door when I was young to be sure he could always get into my room, thats how I learned to doorstop with shoes. I needed time to be able to hide my gameboy or etc so he couldn't find it and break it if he glanced it.
I don't like fighting family either but if you dealt with this kid for as long as I did and saw your moms room painted in shit and red-faced bawling at the betrayel of her son you'd chimpmode too I bet.
I didn't tell her what I did to him for years, I just explained he'd def not bother her and he got the message and to forget about it. Now we're older and I phone my mom regularly from where I live and I eventually told her what I did and she felt sad but also laughed her ass off.
It was disappointing the younger bro turned out bad too. He was a complete chad. Incredibly attractive, top scores in grades, a jock who was valued on his teams. Then he got into Oxy, shrooms, acid and went full blow just like his brother. His life was totally wrecked through his senior year. He's only just now straightening up. He never got violent at least.
My mom remember me being rebellious and getting in deep shit with teachers way more than them growing up, but admits I was def the best behaved of them.
>>28084629
>>28084897
>>28084997
>>28085113
>>28085340
holy shit anon im sorry
you sound based though it would have been cool to grow up with you
>>28085340
Well, I'd be too much of a pussy to do something like what you or your brother did.
But I have a sister, no brothers, so I'd never have to worry about this sort of thing.
I'm kinda thinking that things are coming to a head with my own family, but if I do anything crazy it'll be slitting my wrists or some other suicide attempt. I've never been big on drugs either.
>>28085478
I'm sorry to hear that bro. I hope things work out better with your folks.
This is /r9k/ and most advice I'd give would prolly sound bullshit like "just b urself".
All I know is if no one elses wants to care about me then I'll just care about myself, no use waiting for someone else to.
>>28076546
>tfw i live in cambridge
>>28085927
Shit's fake m8
I made that shit up out of boredom don't even care if I have to talk to FBI agents It will be funny explaining this
>>28075707
Sold drugs
Bought drugs
Used drugs
Stolen shit like games/dvds etc a computer mouse once, small shit like that
>thought about
Armed robbery
Credit card fraud
Credit card theft
Identity theft
Stealing a car a few times
Robbing someone on the street
pickpocketing
was doing like 75 in a 30 today
I went in a soft ice cream place wanting to use the phone. There was no one there, and I didn't even see a camera. So I took money from the tip jar. I'm such an asshole.
>>28086131
Someone stop thus absolute madman
