When I was six years old I asked my friend's dad to wipe my ass.
>>28069303
Thanks for making a robot chuckle.
>>28069303
Did he?
muted for 2 secs
>used to yell for my mom to come wipe my butt in public spaces when i was old enough to do it myself
When I was 6 I shot some repairman in the eye with a nerf gun
>>28069353
You're a fucking asshoIe
>>28069303
Well, did he?
Muted for 6 years
When I was a baby/toddler my mom used to stuff my whole foot in her mouth and sucked on it.
>>28069319
>>28069328
He did. I leaned forward into a handstand/wheel barrow position. When he finished I asked if it was clean. He said it looked good.
Idk why but this post was the funniest thing ive seen all week
>>28069303
OP, why are you posting this copypasta?
In 5th grade I stomped on a fallen birds nest full of babbies to be edgy.
>>28069303
>be 13-14 years old
>at friend's house
>in his room upstairs watching a movie or something
>have to take a shit
>go downstairs to the toilet
>take a huge fucking shit
>start wiping my ass
>i liked to use a lot of toilet paper at once when wiping, so i eventually used way more toilet paper than i was supposed to
>try to flush
>toilet's fucking clogged
>can't find plunger
>had to tell his mom that i clogged the toilet with my massive shit and way too much toilet paper
>>28069398
>I leaned forward into a handstand/wheel barrow position.
Well ain't that some shit right there.
>>28069433
heh, I flooded my friends house years ago.
Not my fault their plumming was outdated.
>>28069398
>He said it looked good
priceless
when I was 6 I got screamed at for throwing acorns at a fisherman from on top of a cliff.
>>28069303
>be in first grade
>at friends house
>take a shit
>try to wipe but didn't get it clean
>realize underwear has skidmarks
>ask friend's mom for a grocery bag
>later sees me carrying around a plastic grocery bag in the house
>asks if I'm pretending that I'm shopping
>told her I shit my underwear
>she takes me home
>I hide in my room while she tells my mom
>>28069535
You didn't actually shit on it, you just left skidmarks. Why the fuck wouldn't you keep wearing it and then change when you got home?
>>28069430
I knew a manlet kid that drowned baby ducklings
He was one of the most annoying faggots I've ever met desu
>>28069579
I don't know anon I thought those were the rules.
>>28069398
>It looked good
Well at least he did a good job
>>28069353
Well? Is he now blind?
>>28069303
I was afraid of getting poop on my hand when I was 4-6 that I would have my mom or dad wipe my ass for me. One day my parents refused, telling me I had to learn how to wipe my own ass.
I sat on the toilet for an hour and a half, crying my eyes out. Finally I realized there was no way of getting out of this, so I got a ball of toilet paper and attempted to wipe my ass. I didn't realize my parents brought the cheap dollar store shit, so when I went to clean my crack the toilet paper tore. Shit all over my hand, the odor hit me in the face like a nigger sucker punching you and I threw up all over the place and passed out.
You wouldn't imagine the look of disappointment on my parents face when they saw their six year old son like half naked in a pool of his own vomit while his hand was covered in shit.
All these niggas who didn't see this thread the first time around. For all I know OP may have posted this a number of times.
>>28069659
Nice made up story, mate.
>>28069674
>>28069424
Oh sorry that I took a spot for ANOTHER cuck b8 thread.
>no fun allowed
>>28069624
No. He was okay. We met again years later
>>28069303
when i was six my parents called the landline off their mobile while they were in the other room. pretending to be mickey mouse. they told me they'd take me to disneyland paris. i got real excited and burst into the room excitedly telling them what just happened.
mfw they laughed at me
mfw i never went to disneyland paris
>>28069659
Have you got genuine autism?
>single mother gives me baths until I'm 6
>not really aware that you can actually wash yourself because nobody told me
>years later she makes fun of me for getting bathed at such an age
this is not the kind of thread I want to read on the day that I'm going to be doing lsd for the first time goddamn it
>>28071526
>>single mother gives me baths until I'm 6
it is not weird, famicom
>>28069303
When I was six years old I had my homeroom teacher in elementary school help wipe my shit-filled ass for me.
You don't see me bragging about it.
>>28069430
You actually did them a favor, they would have been eaten alive by mice, at least getting stomped is a quick death
That's actually pretty alpha OP. Think about it, you convinced a grown man to wipe your own ass
