Hey /r9k/
I am a drunk ass fucking doctor
ask me anything. ill probably gtive you shit medical advice
>>28065238
I have problems getting boners. Should I stop watching crazy weird fetish porn?
>>28065238
Would you do it all over again? I mean take the career path of being a doctor and all it entails.
aaayyyy
how do I motivate myself to study pathology? I have an exam on wednesday, but I feel like killing myself right now. so fucking tired
How do I lose weight? Diet and exercise tips please
>>28065262
Do you take SSRIs?
If the answer is no, then yes you should stop watching crazy weird fetish porn. Unless you can't get laid regardless- then there's really no point to stop, is there?
OP, MD
>>28065268
Same here, got a lot of work i'm procrastinating on and need to feel motivation for the next month or so.
>>28065267
It depends, if i had to repick my career path all over again WITHOUT knowledge of my current status then yes, I would choose to be a doctor
If I did not have knowledge of my current status then I would want to be a cook or a highschool teacher, because that is what interests me
>>28065268
Literally nobody gives a fuck about pathology, go review pathoma and that's all you need. you'll forget everything in a year anwyays
>>28065269
Stop eating so much, fatty.
Is there any reason to stop smoking weed every day if it doesn't stop me from doing my job and my studies?
>>28065292
All I had for breakfast today was tea and a banana
And I'm going to take a 30 min walk
How do I get rid of oral thrush?
Is it that big a deal if I often feel like my brain is pressing against my skull, or nah?
What do you think of nootropics?
What drug or combination of drugs can I take to be more productive and sharp?
What drug or combination of drugs can I take to not give a shit about anything?
>>28065292
My left knee hurts after using a retarded ass squat machine. It's been like a year. What do I do? I'm still functional though and can play sports.
>>28065238
I occasionally get a searing pain around my bladder when I stretch my abdominal. should I be concerned?
>>28065311
Okay then stop eating a large lunch, stop snacking, and dont eat a large dinner
Regardless of what you think of the "calories in = calories out" meme, it's true. Stop eating so much an you're guaranteed to lose weight
>>28065294
No, if you can function fine with the influence of weed then by all means do ur shit.
Pls write me an Adderal prescription
>>28065319
Honestly I don't know much about them because we don't learn about them in medical school or residency. My own personal take - if you feel they work for you, might as well fucking use them. Don't let some bitch ass nigga doctor tell you what to do
>>28065316
Nystatin
>>28065322
See your PCP and get an MRI, its probably nothing. They'll probably want an X-ray first but i will guarantee it will be negative.
>>28065324
If you do a lot of ab workouts it is normal. As long as it doesnt hurt when you pee, it shouldn't be alarming.
>>28065364
I won't be able to do that for you, but you can actually try calling your local pharmacy and pretend to be a doctor and call it in for yourself. Give them a bullshit NPI number- , try something like 1274038613 (it's my own number with some of them changed). if it doesn't work it doesnt work.
What's some interesting/weird shit that has happened to you as a doctor? Ya got any cool stories?
>>28065445
The stories I have are mostly "wtf" moments or really sad stories. Never had anything really "cool".
>>28065403
What would a doctor say in that scenario? Like, how can I sound like a doctor when I call it in, what phrases/jargon would you use?
>>28065238
thoughts on rc benzos?
What do I need to say to a walk in clinic to get Adderall prescriptions? Can I just say it's difficult for me to focus or do they need to diagnose me as a retard or adhd
>>28065468
I'd like to hear some "wtf" stories if you don't mind sharing
>>28065238
hey OP
I have to pee almost constantly. we're talking every hour or so.
I've had blood work done and I don't have diabetes or anything like that, but I do take a lot of medication.
is it possible that the meds I'm taking are affecting my bladder this adversely?
>>28065474
"Hi this is doctor xxx at xxx. I'd like to call in a prescription for a patient of mine that I've recently discharged, is this the right number to call? Oh thanks yeah Mr xxx's date of birth is xxx, id like him to be put on xxx ymgs q(stands for frequency) daily. Do you need my NPI number or anything? Okay its zzzzzzz.
Call on a payphone. The worst that can happen is they call you out on your bullshit.
>>28065501
literally look up signs of ADHD and make it sound like you've been dealing with it all your life
>>28065492
i took a few once myself, didn't like them. I try very hard to not give BZDs.
>>28065238
Specialty?
>>28065517
Not OP but I had a patient last year with 7 screwdrivers in her stomach. Cutting those out of her was the surrealest shit I've ever done.
>>28065238
i keep getting pain in both of my eyes whenever i exercise hard, its like a dull ache
>>28065517
I work at a county hospital. I've had patients with straight up renal failure or newly diagnosed HIV just leave the hospital because they "didnt feel like being there." One time this dude with active tuberculosis just left the hospital because he didn't know he was supposed to stay. This kind of shit is really not that interesting but if you were well versed in the medical field you would just be like WTF.
>>28065532
Maybe you should list your meds. Did you pee in a cup, maybe you have a UTI or some shit.
med related question, open to anyone who might know the answer:
What's better for study, aderall or modafinil?
Can you get addicted to Methylphenidate (ritalin)?
I used it a few time and my concentration is like fucking epic. But I don't have ADD or ADHD or whatever.
I have an internal hemorrhoid and my asshole is itchy a lot
I have a lot of redness surrounding it
not sure if its fungal or due to the hemorrhoid
is it common to get fungal rashes near the anus?
>>28065582
Again I don't know exactly which is better for study, but anecdotally I hear both are great
>>28065577
Yes, as with every drug
Damn you guys are all about stimulants, aren't you?
>>28065551
Medicine
>>28065544
>Call on a payphone. The worst that can happen is they call you out on your bullshit.
Neat. I wonder if that'd actually work.
>I try very hard to not give BZDs.
r-reee
why are all the doctors like this. When I was a kid I got valium and klonopin no problem, but nowadays they want to give me hydroxyzine which is shit tier and does nothing.
>tfw xanax is the only way i feel like a person
>>28065551
Did she eat them? How'd they get in there?
>>28065566
I'm taking Bupropion(400mg), Abilify (10mg), Lithium(600mg) and Propranolol(10mg). I did a urine test a couple of months ago and that came out clean, too. it doesn't burn or hurt when I pee, no itching, and I don't have any trouble actually going. it's just a lot.
>>28065621
Lithium can cause diabetes insipidus.
>>28065640
Im addicted to anime
>>28065640
im addicted to nurses
I want to join a armed service for my country but I have depression. I have to see my doctor about my depression. How should I act to not get him to write notes about me that could disqualify me service
>>28065640
im addicted to nurses on practices
>>28065665
I dont know what disqualifies you, so i can't help with that
>>28065648
>>28065662
sounds good
>>28065612
Damn, I think I should stop taking it. I feel like I wont be able to concentrate anymore without Methylphenidate . FML
>>28065613
Yeah, she ate them.
16 year old kid with borderline personality disorder who found a more interesting way of self-harm than cutting or burning. I'm just fucking impressed she was able to swallow them, they weren't small screwdrivers. Abdomen absolutely filled with scar tissue 'cause this wasn't the first time she'd pulled that shit.
>>28065566
I have a small ball attached to my left testicle, it does not hurt and I get the feeling that it grows and shrink's at times, it was slightly bigger a month a ago and now it's smaller, well I think. I have 3 ball's.
>>28065640
I just looked it up, kind of worrisome since I've had dry mouth/nausea/light-headedness/fatigue/getting up at night to piss/etc. for months now. I've been too shy to ask my psychiatrist about all of this but I'll definitely bring it up at our next appointment. thanks OP
Can you give me a lethal dose of morphine, doc?
I have developed horribly painful hemmohroids and I've been up all night because I can't sleep due to the discomfort. Will they heal or am I fucked and need surgery?
>>28065721
well, lithium is one hell of a drug
>>28065715
you really should get that checked out for reals.
>>28065724
i've done that many times, albeit on very sick patients
>>28065750
sometimes they will actually pop and kind of go away. if not you should see a doctor- they might band them or intervene in some other way. over the counter medications like preparation H will help with symptoms but will not affect recovery
>>28065238
I've got a wart on the palm of my hand. I've been using some "wart off" stuff for a few weeks and it feels like its getting worse. The wart has gotten slightly bigger and its now painful when i touch it or occasionally when i move my hand.
Any tips on a faster way to get rid of it?
>>28065808
If you use one of those wart freezing things, make sure you REALLY GET at it
Otherwise you can use duct occlusion therapy, which may or may not work. (google it)
If it still doesn't go away after a year or so you can go see the doctor, but it will most likely be a waste of time.
>>Pff "'medicine"
>>Calls himsef "doctor"
>>In reality just a potassium repleter
Jk lad, everybody loves medicine
>>28065847
I also replete mag sometimes and ask for diuresis goals, but yes you're right.
I always introduce myself to patient by my first name though because I don't feel comfortable calling myself doctor
>>28065715
I have one too, mine is a hydrocele. One way to check to make sure its not something malignant is to shine a light thru it, like a flashlight. If it glows that means its filled with fluid which means its probably a hydrocele and not like cancer or something. If you want to be totally sure you can get it checked by a doctor, they may do an ultrasound. If you're 20-30 you are at an age that is at risk for testicular cancer so they take that stuff pretty seriously.
The fact that it seems to vary in size IMO would indicate that it's probably something benign like a hydrocele. You can also tell by how hard it is (hard like a rock is bad)
If it turns out to be a hydrocele I guess the general consensus is to leave it alone, unless it's hurting you. Then they may either aspirate it (suck it out with a needle) or cut it out
>>28065715
>>28065804
I noticed the third ball when I was like 15, I'm 18 now, so do I have terminal cancer? Will the ride finally end?.
All joke's aside, this has me worried, I frequently notice blood in my toilet paper too, am I fucked?
>>28066011
You've had it for 3 years and never got it looked at?
also >>28065888
>>28066011
go to a doctor you fucking retard. what the fuck
How do I cure hemorrhoids
My job involves sitting on my ass all day
Shitting has become something I dead due to the extreme pain involved
>>28066081
I was to shy and stupid, I eventually made myself forget about it, it definitely keept me up at night, and I assumed that I had this>>28065888 after searching on the internet for a while
>>28065888
Thank's for the help man, I used the flashlight in my phone and it glows!! Fucking had myself worried for 3 year's, it's slightly hard tho, not like a rock, but not really soft.
Dr Anon, know anything about vaginas or skin conditions?
My hoohah has pale white skin inside the labia majora that gets itchy, then the skin peels like a sunburn. Little cracks where my skin naturally folds. No funky smells, discharge w/e. My Dr. said it looks like the skin has lost pigmentation there.
Seen two different Dr.s now and can't get in to see a gynecologist until the end of june.
Doc says it's not Lichen Sclerosis, not yeast, and not psoriasis. Cortizone cream helps but it comes back after I stop using the cream. I don't have anything wrong with my skin anywhere else. Also had a sti/std test and came back clean.
>>28065238
I broke my foot, what is the correct dosage of morphine needed to dull the pain?
I am in a lot of pain, like your mother was when she was ill.
What do you suggest to relieve my burden?
>>28066271
>Thank's for the help man, I used the flashlight in my phone and it glows!! Fucking had myself worried for 3 year's, it's slightly hard tho, not like a rock, but not really soft.
Glad I could help, I hope that eases your mind a bit. I'm not a doctor but I think you don't have anything to worry about. Slightly hard is okay, if it were really hard you'd probably know immediately, rock hard is how my doctor described it. See a doctor if it starts to hurt though.
So I've had a pimple on the shaft of my dick for the past few months, and I think it turned into a sebaceous cyst. No, I didn't go to a doctor, I drew conclusions from Google. Sue me. Anyway, about a week ago, it popped, and now it's shrunk to almost nothing. The situation's pretty much resolved itself, but now how do I keep my dick acne from getting out of hand?
>>28066709
wash the cheeto dust off your hands before you jack off next time
How difficult is it to get a prescription for oxycodone or percocet? What sort of injury would you give it to a 23 yo for? Or what would be the easiest to fake?
>>28065238
What was your GPA coming out of college? Were there any times where you found undergrad challenging?
Hi Dr
I smoke weed every day.
Should I stop? I don't want to
Thanks
