>i am jack's throbbing dick
>horny as hell
>start downloading like a dozen of porn movies from tpb
>including ladyboygold productions
>dick is harder than diamonds
>fap a while to all the cute shemales getting fucked
>all the qt3.14 shemales seem to enjoy getting fucked in the ass
>brain is brewing up an idea
>get a bottle of olive oil from the fridge
>put one of those roll on deodorants in a plastic bag
>pour olive oil on the bag so it's lubricated
>go to toilet
>shave my ass with a razor
>the razor is dull as fuck because it's like three years old because fuck replacing it
>ass cheeks bleeding a bit but at least they are hairless
>put some oil on my ass cheeks and around my asshole
>looking good.jpg
>squat and start trying to put the deodorant in a bag in my ass
>hurts a bit but the prostate is probably a little deeper
>hurts a bit more
>finally almost the whole deodorant bottle is in my butt (left some of it out so it's easier to get out, the bag was kind of there just to ensure that I can get the deodorant out)
>feel pressure in my ass
>something is coming out
>take the deodorant bottle out
>"oh shit my bowel is prolapsing"
>panic mode engaged hold the bowel in with my hand
>can't hold it
>take a look at my hand
>it's actually just shit, not my bowel
>i'm holding a chunk of shit on my hand and just staring at it while squatting
>throw the shit in toilet
>put the deodorant back in my ass
>can't get a prostate orgasm
>start masturbating with the deodorant in my ass
>cum
>immediate regrets
>thrash the deodorant in a bag
>take a long shower
>fire up a greentext on r9k
>i am jack's deepest regret
The deodorant was like pic related, not that big but definitely still hurt
>>28056619
What made you think that was a good idea?
>>28056681
shemale porn
wtf did I just read?.
Put me in the screenshot plz
We all have been there,now get the fuck off 4chan,kid.
baby steps into anal
reminder that porn always lies
Oy vey what the fuck did I just read.
Also Leddit include me in this screenshot
>>28056619
Been there OP, been there.
I used hair conditioner, and shaved my entire body instead, then covered myself in conditioner, and used ice cubes to make my penis smaller while riding some hand lotion my sister had in a tube bottle. I put it in a condom instead of a plastic bag though. I had those condoms so in case I ever got laid, I would know how to put one one. I'm still a KHV.
As soon as I came, I had the shameful task of cleaning everything up.
>>28056913
I'm just not sure what degenerate things go through people's minds that make them attempt things like this
I was into the anal meme 4 years ago as a college freshman. Never went as far as OP but used multiple fingers brushes and eventually a (removed from blade) knife handle.
Then one summer my balls were in excruciating pain and it turned out I had an E. Coli infection in my epididymis and prostate. I needed antibiotics . It got worse : I had an adverse reaction to the first antibiotic (Cipro) which gave me neuralgia pain all over my body which sometimes came back even months later. I eventually cured it with an alternate antibiotic.
Needless to say I never did any but stuff ever again except the occasional single finger.
>>28056619
>yfw this is the real reason the west is collapsing
>yfw they don't even need to use propaganda to ruin us, we're doing it ourselves
>yfw you realize the west deserves to die
>>28057240
4chan is the propaganda . Moot is a Jew and he works for Google.
>>28056619
don't worry op
sometimes I grab the shit right out of my rectum and put it up to my nose while I jack off and then I roll over and cum in my own mouth and then I feel all weird about it
