Hello fellow robots, what I bring to you today is the opportunity to gain a best friend, me.
I've been thinking lately and realized, that things wouldn't be as bad if we had a reliable friend online with whom we could confide and trust in.
Someone who cares about you and listens to you on a personal level is a wonderful thing to have and is rare to find on the internet in general, especially in group chats.
If you have a cool game you play but no cool friends to co-op with? I will buy that game and play it with you.
If you watch a show and have no one to discuss it with, I will watch that show with you.
If you have a "weird" fetish that you fap to every night and wish to share it with someone, I will share that fetish with you.
Hell, if you are too shy to initiate a conversation with anyone but still wish to be cared about, I will make it a point to talk to you every day in a meaningful way.
What I offer you is as good as a friend as you can possibly have on the internet.
I will give you advice on subjects, help with homework, recommend you to new things, or challenge/compete with you to be your best if you desire.
Some of my skill sets/Traits are in pic related.
But these skill sets are flexible based on what you need them to be. I can be or act like whoever you want me to be.
I am offering this to you absolutely free of charge. I am an extremely lonely individual and aside from my daily "life" duties I have nothing but time.
Hopefully by imitating the relationship of being best friends it will grow into one of genuine appreciation, until then I will do my best to be a best friend to you.
If this relationship interests you please add me at my skype : awake.soap
I hope to hear from someone.
p.s: no "fembots" please. You have about 10 of me in orbiters. This is for the less fortunate.
>>28055662
This is the saddest resume I've ever seen robot. You gotta learn to sell yourself if you wanna stand a chance in the gig-economy.
>>28055730
hmm, maybe there aren't that many kind of people on /r9k/ as I thought. I would be ecstatic if someone offered to care about me.
what rank in csgo
>>28055662
I wish you luck, Anon.
For me it is too late. I'm used to loneliness. I'm not cruel enough give you false hope by adding you and then slowly drifting away.
But I wish you luck.
>>28055888
I'm not that good. I think silver elite.
>>28055890
Thank you, I'm sorry I cant help.
>>28055662
Do you ERP? This is important
>>28055931
I don't, but if you need someone to do it with I will. And I would be happy to do so.
Sup guys, Chad here. I'll be your friend and get you plenty of pussy but only if you reply to this post with "You are alpha and I am beta, you are Chad and I am loser, please help me Chad"
are you cute?
poast boipussi
ITT: All the gay/fag anons are gonna try to ERP you. I warned you anon
>>28056105
I don't mind desu. As long as its some kind of relationship. Even if its simulated.
I have zero friends and would appreciate this, although the paranoid part of me wouldnt allow me to share my actual secrets and stuff that i have never talked about irl and rarely ever mention online either. Plus i cant play games because my PC is fucked. If that isnt a problem i might send you a message.
>>28056366
Thats completely fine. Your concerns are valid.
My intentions with this are genuine, but words can mean little over the net.
I would love to talk to you about whatever, if you would have me.
If you can find the /r9k/ Discord chat, you might get some friends to talk to. But threads are made only sparingly these days to reduce normie incursions.
>>28056558
Ive had experience with /r9k/ chats before. And they usually dissolve into a normie infestations or a female joins and gains half the group in orbiters.
This sounds like a good deal for those in the friend market but like >>28055890 I've gotten accustomed to not only solitude but also anonymity.
Being known by another human being would make me very uncomfortable but I appreciate what you are doing for the other anons.
>>28056597
Look for the one named Robot chat, it's stable and has been for some time. Whatever happens, best of luck OP. Everyone deserves good friends.
>>28055662
I'll do it for half what OP is charging.
>>28055662
how well can you pretend to be pinkie pie? this may or may not be a deal breaker
>>28057799
I would have to brush up on it. But i think i can make do if you give me some training.
>>28055662
actually i have been looking to hire a friend, these are the requirements
>must have other friends
>must have girlfriend
>must pretend i have been his friend for a long time
>must have a job
>is not necessary for him to introduce me to his friends, get me a job at his workplace or get me one of his girlfriend friends as a girlfriend, however he must help me get 2 of those 3 things on a 6 month period or the deal is off.
>this is a paid offer
>however half of the agreed upon amoun will be retained and given to you after the 6 month periode if you fufill the requirements
>>28057929
i was joking but this is actually tempting. I was looking for pinkie pie chat bots, i even tried to make cleverbot pretend to be pinkie for me. I guess for the time being a human is my only option
>>28055662
Fuck you anon I'll do it for free, no one needs to pay for your bullshit services anyways your probably a gaybot.
>>28057970
I'll try my best.
>>28058013
>>28057702
I dont know if trolling or not...but I said ill do this all for free. Maybe I should've added a tl;dr. My bad.
>going on age 2
yeah no thanks, kid
>>28058095
vyro my man why'd you make your tumblr private?
>>28057932
How much?
Orig in all
Would you answer any question I ask you truthfully?
>>28058970
Yes, without a doubt. unless of course u didn't want me to answer with the truth.
I'm not really needy, I'd like someone to play games with and maybe talk about stuff from time to time, is this ok?
>>28059197
Yes, please. Message me whenever!
How long do you take to reply Opie?
>>28059289
He's a fluke! A chad in disguise!!he wants to steal your good it points
>>28059289
If you mean a message, it will be before that day is over. Pretty much as soon as I possibly can.
>>28055662
How good would you say you are at remaining objective?
Will you be my minion OP?
I knew a kid in highschool who was so lonely he asked me to be his friend
ACTUALLY said "anon can I be your friend?"
Who does that?
Anyway he buzzed around me always happy to fill me in on whatever he was doing, would do ANYTHING I said, and stroked my ego plenty.
Would you do that for me?
>>28059377
Very good? I'm a pretty good planner. So looking at things very calculative is a strong point I believe I have. I cant remember an instance where I was striving for something with a subjective basis.
>>28059465
Yes, if you would have me.
>>28058866
i currently spend 400 bucks a month in therapy and its doing jack shit for me so i have no trouble repurposing that money so take that as a base.
Im not asking for someone to hang out every day either just help me by putting a good word.
Of course it all depends on what kind of job you could help me get or what kind of crowd you can get me in.
I would be willing to give you way more if you can get me a full time office job but i dont expect you to be able to
>>28059545
I want to ERP with you right now, but you have to pretend to be a cute anime girl, will you do it?
>>28059545
When you say your 2* are you leaning closer to 20 or 30 years old? Are you creepy or a friend collector at all?
I totally need something like this but I'm an unreasonably paranoid type who thinks adding you on skype would bring something disastrous.
I will probably add you after giving it a dumb amount of thought and doing some weird shit like making a whole separate skype account just for messaging you.
>>28059708
closer to 20. I put a star because some people might feel more comfortable not knowing the exact age. I don't think im creepy. I just want some meaningful relationships. So this is my best chance at getting that I believe.
>>28059641
You have my Skype anon.
>>28059749
Take your time. I'm not going anywhere. Your concerns are valid, I would have them as well desu. But id risk my computer if it meant I could have a chance at a good friendship.
Do you have kik? Will you show me your benis? And more importantlywill you be mean to me because I'm a lolicon? Do you like loli and will you share loli with me?
>>28059877
I don't have a kik. But I can do the rest. Anything you like I can learn to like as well.
>>28057932
Well, I'm interested. I fulfill all of them, but in a bit exact way. Contact?
>>28055662
Whats your employment situation?
>>28060469
I'm a student for now.
Anon, do you need to talk? Forget anonymity for a moment and open up. Tell us your name? Were here for you my friend, its ok.
>>28055662
what is the reason you dont have friends
are you clingy
>>28055662
HTML and CSS is not coding. 0/10 would not consider as friend.
>>28061376
Im pretty sure they can be considered code for a website. If not what else should I call them? Website layout schemes?
>>28061429
They're markup languages. They aren't dynamic, unlike actual coding languages. Javascript and PHP are examples of actual website coding languages.
>>28061429
He's a troll, you mongloid.
Anyway, what he's trying to mock up is the barrier between coding and programming wrongly. 'Coding' is correct when referring to markup languages while 'programming' is not.
Javascript is a programming language, PHP is primarily a scripting language but can also be considered a programming language
>>28061452
I think you are referring to programming languages. Not code. HTML and CSS fit every criteria set to be considered code.
>>28061514
Usually when someone says coding they mean programming instead, so that's actually what I interpret people's usage of the word as, especially in relation to web development
Nevermind, carry on.
>>28059545
>Yes, if you would have me.
Red flag.
>tfw robot friend chad is able to make friends and is probably a decent friend while nothing I try works
