Fellow robots, please help me feel. I haven't felt this cripplingly depressed or suicidal in some time. Sharing pain relieves pain.
What's bothering you, anon?
Help me help you help me.
Take a feel leave a feel?
I think I'm going to become an alcoholic if I don't watch it, I'm starting to get the urge to drink daily. I'm not sure whether to stop or let it run it's course, 2bh.
>>28055525
I've never felt like this big of a failure in my life. My teeth are a disgusting mess, I'm ugly, and I'm not moving on in my life to do anything worthwhile where everyone around me is doing just that. I don't want to be alive and haven't for my whole life but I have to carry on. What do OP?
>>28055525
>Be gay
>Virgin
>Met another gay person
>We talk often
>I sort of developed a minor attraction to him
>I don't know what to do - Talking to him is painful but at the same time I enjoy it and want his attention
>>28055678
My teeth are worse
>>28055678
OP here
tell u what senpai I'm basically starting community college this summer, at 22
all my friends are finishing uni this year
I try to be determined. that doesn't get me down, it's a one day at a time thing
although i got hella pissed today when i found out my first textbook is $270 and I'm paying out of pocket
>>28055723
Mine are all yellow m8
>>28055768
I'm glad that you're doing well for yourself OP but this just goes with how I see other people. Everyone is happy and moving on with their lives and here i am stuck.
>>28055713
dang senpai why is it hard
if he got a cute ass and a cute smile whats your worry
just be like 'hey wanna go see ca: civil war?'
i mean im mostly straight but i thought being gay was neat cuz you can have a bro down AND THEN a ho down you know whaymsayin
>>28055525
everytime I have any sort of emotion the voice in my head tells me how I'm just pretending to feel anything and am just faking it.
I've been dead inside for years now
>>28055792
why so stuck? do you know what to do with your life?
my adviser makes literally no sense to me but i know the end result is an aerospace degree, keep my dream alive yafeelme
graduated from college a year ago and still dont have a job. no experience or references because i was too shutin in college, now there's nothing i can do to get anything but a dead end job
>>28055863
sort of. i know the career, but i don't know what country to go to or how to get started because something in the past is still haunting me and making it impossible to talk with people
>>28055606
bruh tell you what
my dad chewed tobacco every day for like 20 years
we went to the beach a few years ago, as we pull up to the condo on day one he tells me to throw his tobacco away, he'll never have it again
and he never did
a big environment/schedule change makes your brain have to readjust to stuff. he kicked the crud when his mind was all like "hey, no work this week. hey, look at that water. hey, look at my happy family enjoying what they deserve"
he chewed gum consistently for a month when we got back, and that was that. thinkin bout it now its like 'wow cant believe he was using tobacco, ever' even through he did it my whole life
tell you what boi think of all the change you need, you need the gym, you need focus at school, you needa smile more, you need to never drink again, think of it all, wrap it up, plan how each day will go, and deliver that tasty present of responsibility to yourself, and dont fuckin quit like a bitch. do it, your mind and body will roll with it if you force it
also chew lots of gum
i love you man
>>28055876
bruh how bout them internships
real careers need connections bruh, you gotta build that foundation
think about it, 99% of jobs posted online are crap because they dont necessitate a reference, really. A wendy's application ask for references because they wanna make sure you aint gonna steal the whole kitchen. a broker or scientist interview wants them because they wanna see that badass in you, ya feel me
>>28055894
Man what's makin you look back, why ain't you watchin your step?
>>28056056
tell me senpai i needa know
I am mentally ill, I have schizoid personality disorder, or probably early schizophrenia.
I can't stop mumbling Tourette-like insults and gibberish conversations towards myself. It's all laced with intense self-hatred and reliving conversations and interactions I had in the past with people but also expanding those conversations with inventing things they said and responding to myself as if they're actually there and said those things. I can get very worked up with my imaginary conversations too, from rage to sadness and happiness. I've been having these weird fragment conversations with myself for years whenever I'm alone, I just hide it.
but right now I'm just truly sick of myself and have to fight the urge to punch myself in the face every couple of minutes.
instead I just opted for cutting myself
i'm just raging so much at myself for being such a worthless disgusting subhuman. I feel like I don't deserve human rights because I'm so fucking worthless. I wish Hitler was still alive so I could be locked away in a concentration camp and exterminated. Just stomped out, crushed like nature's mistake. I don't deserve affection and compassion, I'm un-human, I'm a lower level of life, like bacteria.
>>28056315
senpai thats rough
you seeing a doctor?
how aboutcha job? you in school?
>>28055525
>mid 20's
>job is shit
>education is shit
>no future prospects
>when I was young I dreamed big of breaking the cycle and living my life the way I wanted to every single day
>end up exactly like my shit tier parents with their shit tier lives.
>>28055723
They're pearly white, im mirin
>>28055969
I can feel the good vibes and warmhearted sentiment emanating from this post, good man. I don't know who you are but I think I love you too man
>>28056466
y tho
what do you want to do instead
>>28056623
it doesn't matter what I want anymore. Bills pile up, real life takes over. There are no brakes on mr bones wild ride if I stop I die (which isn't such a bad alternative at this point really). The only chance I had at a good life passed me by long ago.
>>28056479
fampai trying to make anyone happy is all i got holdin back my tears
why the fuck people gotta be so sad, ya know
why the fuck do i gotta be so sad, ya know
>>28056672
dude Edward Snowden did a nice thing and just showed up at russia and they's like "suh dude" and now he's chillin there, accepting awards for human rights and the usa cant touch him
worst case scenario you bail outta life and have the greatest path of self discovery since the secret life of walter mitty
>>28055768
pirate your textbooks when you can. only ever buy the books that you essentially need for a class. Most of the time you can completely skip the book entirely
>>28056672
>>28056731
aint no one gonna chase you to asia or something over a phone bill
you know that dude who rewrote mad world and made us all sad to begin with? yo one day he literally just up and left for south asia and panhandled while almost starving himself for a whole year, just to do it. that was after he was an established professional musician in america
if the muzzle isn't already to your head you have an adventurous plan B to consider, please f a m
>>28056731
Except he traded highly sensitive information to a foreign government in exchange for safety, I have nothing. Still, that is the plan. One day save enough to buy a 1 way ticket to the middle of nowhere and just start again.
>>28056737
I need some Parsons MAT 171 precalc book
I'm startin slow with a hrd class crammed into a summer semester, with no other classes.
problem is i needa TI-84, too, man fucking bullshit $100 calculator, Wolfram Alpha is fine as hell why aint that legit to use
>>28056815
literally one of the happiest things i heard today, you can do it
whatever the hell you want, shia told you nothing is impossible, is he rightorwhat?
bail out to laos or korea, better yet.
have a nice small job, start a business (maybe hong kong is best in that case) meet a qt asian girl who shy as hell but tells you she noticed the shine in your eyes before the color of them or your skin
happy ever after is the end of the book ya know whaymsayin, you never know the ending when you're on page one
cinderella thought she gon slave forever, but no way jose
goddam luke skywalker thought being a pilot for the rebellion was hitting it bigtime when he was just a water farmer, but he fukin blew up a deathstar became a jedi and brought darth vader to the light to end the empire. THAT's big time. he just had to leave his deadend life
i love you man don't live like you're dead
>>28055525
Is anybody else here successful in general, but still thinks about suicide all the time? I don't feel like I have the right be suicidal.
>>28057026
i wouldnt say im successful man but i know i aint doin bad
school is expensive but ima start back soon
my job is shit but i have a job yknow
the only thing destroying me inside is my relationship
but suicide has never been on the shelf for me, ever
i hate it
>>28056981
Out of necessity I have to stay dead until I can live, but I know that there is a light at the end of mr bones wild ride I just don't know how much longer until I see it.
>>28057187
you will prevail, my dude
this thread isn't the hot fuzz of r9k right now but i hope someone keeps it up, i have to go now
imma clean my room in the hopes that my gf will be less likely to hangout with friends instead of me most nights. if that doesn't work i'll try something else. if that doesn't, something else. until i die, fellas
the one thing i truly have no answer for is how to make her happy, wish me luck
