Yes it is. Not so much agitation but increased irritability.

>>28048409
the demons is comin boy

Yeah that's a symptom of mania
When I get manic I get VERY irritable and just say/do mean shit and just generally become an asshole for no reason. Unless I do some extremely high risk activity or blow my money on stuff I'll eventually regret, I am an asshole.

Hyper sexuality is also a symptom
and yes jerking off a lot is part of that.
I have a girlfriend now and I feel like I love her but I don't "feel" it. All I feel is the need to fuck and as awesome as that sounds it sucks. I've fucked so many girls most of which I regret.
Some of them had feelings but I'm literally incapable of feeling the same. Sex just makes me feel better.

>>28048508
Yeah ok so for the last five or so months I wouldn't leave my bed 99% of the time except to occasionally eat and I couldn't even get hard or jerk off and now I have to jerk off everyday and I have more sexual confidence but it's obnoxious because I'm in love with someone who is in another country at the moment


Do you think it's bipolar? I've been diagnosed with dysthymia and that's only depression related. My physical doctor recommended I see a therapist but I don't know if I have enough money and shrinks seem like scam artists.

demons comin back boy mmm no daddy don't cum inside me yes daddy

>>28048554
Not the anon you're replying to, and I'm not diagnosed, but I have had exactly the same experiences. It sounds a lot like bipolar-II.

Does this tend to happen more in winter? It does for me, which means it could be seasonal affective disorder, but there is also bipolar "with seasonal pattern".

Have you ever had a mixed episode? I'm pretty sure I have - some of the times I wouldn't leave the bed due to lack of motivation, I was still incredibly irritable.

>>28048919
No, but when I was depressed I thought there were demons watching me and I thought I was possessed by demons and I saw flashes of light and colors in my peripheral.

ima touch you real nice boy

>>28049069
Hmm, you can get psychosis during unipolar depression too. I once saw a man twice (~2 mins apart, going in the same direction, no way he could realistically have got around me) and thought people could hear my thoughts.

Agitation and aggression can happen in unipolar depression too. Some people with anxiety (which often comes alongside depression) express it through irritability/aggression, particularly men. To qualify as a manic episode this would have to last at least 7 days, or 4 days for hypomania.

Random anger outbursts are characteristic of a few things, such as borderline personality disorder. Have you ever dissociated? (Felt unreal or absent, like the world isn't real or has changed somehow, or you "wake up" halfway through e.g. a conversation and realise you have been on autopilot.) Do you have recurring "identity crises"? (Feeling unsure of who you are or what your true opinions, beliefs and values are, etc.)

>>28049241
Yes, my father actually had to take me to the doctors because I would blank out for large periods of time and not remember anything, just staring into the distance. I remember I came back once and couldn't remember how I got from one location to the other. What does that relate to?

>>28049324
It can be lots of things. I wanna say borderline because of the combination of dissociation, transient psychosis and emotional instability, but I'm in no way qualified. I think you should write all this down and bring it to a doctor/psych.

Do you have the identity disturbances (repeatedly re-evaluating your life, almost like becoming a new person)?
Do you have intense fear of abandonment?
Did you have any traumatic experiences in childhood?

Personally I fit pretty much every criterion for BPD excepting the fear of abandonment, and maybe the childhood trauma.

It is possible to have bipolar AND borderline. Sounds like a real hoot.

>>28049324
Also, do you find it hard to remember previous emotional states, or find that your current one "taints" your memory? For example, if you're feeling good, you might remember a previous experience as being less negative than it really was, and vice versa.

I have this problem. If I'm in a particularly good mood and you ask me how the last week has been I'll say "Excellent" even though I barely made it out of bed all week. I believe this is characteristic of borderline PD.

>>28049409
Nah, wasn't raped or anything. I used to get beat up in school but that's not really traumatic...I mean I'm sensitive, but you aren't gonna go on years after that mentally scarred. I barely even remember it.

I don't know what you mean by identity crisis. I'm an incredibly introspective person, and pretty existential, but I don't feel like my ideals are radically different or I'm a different sexuality or something everyday.

>>28049482
Hmm...well I dwell in the parts of my life where I was happy a lot, I've only ever been with one person romantically, so that too. Constantly think of that. Again, I don't see that as being related to a mental illness.

>>28049482
Forgot to add this: I think about suicide a lot, especially when I'm in those 4 month pits. I could never do it, and I've never told anyone, because that would absolutely break my parent's hearts.

>>28049492
>I used to get beat up in school but that's not really traumatic...I mean I'm sensitive, but you aren't gonna go on years after that mentally scarred. I barely even remember it.
Maybe, but this is what someone suppressing trauma would say.

>I don't know what you mean by identity crisis
When it happens to me, I feel like my current personality "doesn't work" (I'm not getting what I want basically) and I have to change it in some way. This leads to a breakdown in my belief system: what do I value/care about? What are my real opinions on things? How should I behave? Should I be nice to people, or just be a prick? (For some reason, I can't ever be in the middle; I'm a man of extremes.) Sometimes it feels like I try on personalities like you might try on clothes.

>>28049532
Suicidal ideation is pretty non-specific but whatever the cause is, it's serious. I strongly believe in the right to die, that if you want to kill yourself and you're absolutely sure it's a rational decision (which it pretty much never is IME), you should be allowed, and there should be no more stigma than if you died naturally. But if you're worried, you should tell your doctor. If you make it clear you don't intend to actually do it, then they won't have you committed, but it's important when seeking medication because certain antidepressants (SSRIs) can increase suicidal ideation in the first few weeks.

>>28049593
Hahaha NO. Never gonna go on those pills, they're brainwash pills. No thank you. I've tried to end it twice before but I can't, I don't think I can bring myself to, so it's nothing to worry about.

>>28049749
>they're brainwash pills
Eh, not really. Speaking from experience, you can still be you. In fact, you can be you even more, because you have the energy to express yourself (socially, creatively, etc.) and get shit done. You don't become a boring person or whatever.

Now, dialectical behaviour therapy -- there's a list of instructions on how to turn an interesting/eccentric person into a fucking accountant. I'm also pretty wary of antipsychotics and mood stabilisers -- I've heard (first-hand) that lithium feels like a chemical lobotomy, and antipsychotics have some terrifying side-effects, like extrapyrimidal syndrome. But SSRIs are not bad IME. The question is whether they work -- I won't really know until winter.