After extended periods of exposure, I've managed to get over being alone in places where people are normally on their own (library, bus stop, etc.) but I still can't handle being a loner around locations where people congregate in groups (restaurants, sports events). Since it doesn't look like I'm going to make friends anytime soon, does anyone know some methods to get over this fear?
Pic unrelated but I do get significantly more nervous around girls I guess
Bring a book.
People watch.
Listen to music.
Rarely anyone is ever comfy at those places alone, it takes real guts, but if you just stare at your phone you can pretty much pull off being alone anywhere.
>saw Avengers 2 by myself
>saw Metallica concert by myself
Both had hundreds-thousands of people there and it didn't bother me at all.
OP you have to realize no one actually cares or is paying attention to you. And even if they did you'll never see them again, so who cares if they think you're some weird loner?
lots of people do stuff by themselves. i go places with friends, sure but i'll still go to a restaurant i like by myself, or a movie i want to see. it's not a big deal, nobody is paying as much attention to you as you think.
>>28045470
Why do you need to go to restaurant alone at all? Learn to cook. Sport evens? Choose loner sport as hobby. I run and ride bicycle, you don't need any group to do that, most people do these activities alone.
>>28045542
THIS OP in all honestly fuck people mang!! No one truly gives two fucks about you. Get a pet OP it will help soothe somewhat sanity remaining. Even if its just a bug or the likes.
>>28045596
more like nobody pays you attention at all.
Don't be an autist retard and go to sporting events and restaurants by yourself. At the most you can go to food courts at the mall, order pick up at restaurants and go to movies alone on weekdays. Anywhere else you can pretend to be on your phone texting your friends when you are really on 4chan posting about poo poo bottles.
>>28045542
yeah this guys right. I've been friendless for well over a decade now, and i go to metal gigs and movies all the time. Unless you got tits and a vagina no one is interested.
>>28045542
>>28045596
In hindsight I can realise that no one probably cares but when I'm in that situation I feel really nervous even though I know it's irrational. Besides I would definitely notice people in this situation so how can you say no one else does the same?
>>28045536
What do I do on my phone? I'd rather not get caught scrolling through cuck threads on r9k in public
>>28045602
Sometimes I can't be bothered to cook myself and I don't go to sports games much but the other day my uncle got me a ticket for a race
>>28045498
I listen to music in public but every so often I have to check that sound isn't leaking out. Tbh sometimes I get even more paranoid because of this because I can't hear what's going on around me
>>28045470
Do you actually want to be out and about our are you just asking how to to be normz? I guess like anything else start low and slow work your way up
>>28045470
Just do the thing you want to do. People will respect your interest, if the think its weird that your there alone fuck em. Here a hint though, basically no one cares unless you are in middle school/high school. I admit I personally don't like going to a sit down restaurant alone but that's just me. If you are at an event where social interaction is happening don't be afraid to strike up conversation with the people around you. Don't go out of your way to do it or follow one group around or anything autistic but confining yourself to isolation is dumb too. I know, small talk is painful sometimes, but that's the fucking standard. You got to play the game sometimes.
>>28045695
I just want to be able to go outside without sperging out. Sometimes I cross the road when I'm outside just so I don't have to walk past other people
>>28045715
I honestly have no idea what to say to anyone in this kind of situation. The real killer is when you're somewhere that everyone goes with their friends and you're the only person alone, it just makes you stand out even more
Just be yourself and make friends there! Everyone loves when a total stranger approaches their group of friends!
>>28045687
>Besides I would definitely notice people in this situation
You may notice them because it's related to your situation. A normal person isn't going around looking for loners because it doesn't occur to them. You're projecting, believe it or not. Anyway, are you going to walk up to them and put them on the spot about being alone? Of course not. No one else is going to do that to you either. If you walked up to a normie and got in their face about what they were up to you'd be lucky to walk away with just a fuck off. You are not doing anything wrong lad, you are committing no crime, and should feel guilty for nothing. Also, work on your breathing, can't stress this enough. In 2,3, out 2,3. Stand up straight, keep your shoulders back, makes breathing so much easier and keeps you nice and calm. Nothing to it.
>>28045765
If you go to movies on weekday afternoons for movies that have been out awhile the theater is practically empty. You might even see some other loners. Just be smart about where you go.
>>28045789
>unironic "be yourself"
Are you new here?
>>28045470
Laugh at them
>>28045828
>unironic
I think you're the one that's new here
>>28045828
>>28045843
You guys aren't even close. I'm operating on SEVEN levels of irony right now.
>>28045789
Even I can tell this is sarcasm
>>28045800
I have hung around with normies who definitely have noticed things before, when I was in high school some of the people in lunch used to comment on complete strangers
>>28045829
I'd rather not get beaten up
>>28045820
I don't see what the problem with seeing movies alone is desu. It's not like you're going to talk to anyone, all you do is sit back and watch the movie. Why do solo movie goers get this much hate for?
>>28046458
Have you ever tried it? Being around a group of friends having fun while you are alone is a bit of an autism trigger. Like if there was a party in your house full of strangers and you were huddled in your room scared anyone was going to know you were there.
>>28046521
Yes I have. I walked in, watched the movie and walked back out again. Pretty much everyone was quiet except a few teenagers at the back who were constantly whispering about some shit
>>28045687
The fear of leak remind of someone.
Once a guy listened to a bunch of anime Op/Ep I was just behind him I faked sleeping because it was too embarrassing.
>>28045542
Going to shows alone isn't too bad, especially with stuff like metal since it's full of other robots and I find that I always end up hanging out with random people, even though I'm pretty socially inept.
Going to movies alone sucks, though. (Unless it's a cult film showing or something, in which case it's the same situation as a show.)
>>28045470
Try being less autistic. Good luck, anon
>>28045470
you'll get used to it it sucks at first but eventually you dont even notice and you just get used to being by yourself. After a while any human contact becomes optional.
>>28046869
>tfw constantly pulling out one headphone and holding it in front of me to check
>>28046923
It's not that easy
>>28047010
I don't want to be a hermit, I want to be able to go outside like a normal person without feeling excruciatingly self conscious
>>28045687
>In hindsight I can realise that no one probably cares but when I'm in that situation I feel really nervous even though I know it's irrational.
Just think to yourself, nobody gives a shit.
I used to be a lot like you, I was so afraid of everyone judging me when I went outside, even strangers. Some days, I didn't even want to leave the house. The key I found was think about what you think when you look at a person. Usually, it's nothing, you're just looking in that direction. But if you do judge him/her, do you think they would care about it? Would you want them to care about it? No, because it's just your inner thoughts that mean nothing. I hope this helps.
>>28045470
I used to have the same social anxiety when I visited public places, especially clothing shopping or the supermarket.
What helped me the most was telling myself 2 things:
1) You're not the only single person in the world. You're not the only loner in the world. Just because you don't have a friend with you doesn't make you a freak.
2)The majority of people you see in public places you will NEVER see again. Additionally, people's opinions of you DO NOT matter because their judgments of you will not ever inhibit your life in any way.
It helped me break out of my shell to where I wouldn't get nervous and clammy at the thought of going to the supermarket.
>>28047256
I know it's not just me but being the only person there on his own immediately sets me apart. Of course normie judgements don't physically hurt but knowing people are saying shit about you isn't exactly pleasant either
