I wasn't sure how best to word this, but is anyone else out there pretty sure they're a sociopath? I can never tell if the way I feel is applicable to all people or if it's me projecting onto others to avoid thinking about it. I hate almost all my (very few) friends to some extent, and the ones I don't hate yet I hold as kind of perfect uberhumans, and when they inevitably don't live up to that I either secretly hate them or break ties. I've learned to control that behavior better, and mostly keep the bellicose picking shit with people to a minimum these days. I've gaslighted one of my two ex girlfriends after being unfaithful to her with a girl I met online, and several friends I have been possessive with, isolating them from other friends and their own families. I'm not violent or anything, just extremely judgemental and have manipulative/parasitic urges to the point where I don't even realize it. The problem with me that makes me not the stereotypical sociopath is that I'm not charming superficially. Part of that is my upbringing, I had very few friends and dealt with some child abuse. My entire social interactions are a prescripted autopilot, so I can be superficially charming with something heavily scripted, like interacting with a clerk or coworker. But with friends, women, family etc is where the holes in my autopilot start to show. When I'm talking to friends, I usually am just thinking "fuck you I want to go home" and this tends to be the case with all social interaction. The only Livingston things I tend to feel any empathy at all for are animals. With humans I can tell when im supposed to be empathetic and parrot the behavior necessary. I've been to a therapist before but never really gave him much to work with, and always sabotaged my own treatment. I did acid and it kind of clicked, though.
Are any of you out there like this too? Is there any hope for someone who can't empathize with people but isn't charming enough to be a successful monster?
>>28032795
Damn man. This describes me so clearly. It is such a weird thing, interacting with people because it's what 'normal' people do, not because I want to. Dating because I'm 'supposed' to, not because I want to. What you said about things being 'scripted' is so true. I have almost ended a friendship because my friend at the time was driving and we made plans to go to another friends house and play video games and then he would drop me off back at home when we were done. Once we were finished they made a last minute to go to a night club and I was essentially forced to go because he was my ride. I being extremely introverted and all, got really angry and almost ended the friendship that night. I HATE CLUBS.
I hope there is hope for us.
>>28032795
If you're asking if I think a lot like Travis Bickle does, then yes.
>>28032795
>have manipulative/parasitic urges
Can you elaborate on this? I've become like this only recently but I often feel like messing with girls I know for no reason at all, and it's very easy for me to do.
>>28032795
I will fix you OP. I'm infp.
>>28032795
>OP probably describing Borderline Personality Disorder
>>28032795
I wouldnt say you're sociopath - sociopathic tendencies for sure.
>>28032795
>gaslighting
A true master of roach manipulation
Sounds a lot like me, minus the personal abuse. I have a charming personality and I am violent. I isolated my last girlfriend and convinced her to move with me from Australia to Bangkok, Thailand. It ended a year later after I fractured her skull in the middle of the street. I bought my way out of charges and came home.
It's got a lot worse since then...
>>28032795
Maybe? Helpful, I know. Most people think I'm funny and nice, so I can keep up appearances, I have work friends, etc. But as soon as someone gets close, it becomes obvious that I don't want anything to do with anyone. I try not to manipulate people. I think I could, but I don't know. I try not to, but I always feel like people are doing things for me because I know how to butter them up. Also I think my dad's a sociopath. My parents got a book about dealing with sociopaths when he was going to counseling. He always told me one of the people he worked with was a sociopath, and I didn't think anything of it until I started looking into my own symptoms
>>28032795
According to my crush, who is studying psychiatry , i'm not one but i am completely disinterested from human beings
>>28033598
How fix pls
>>28033580
Just thinking like "how can I get what I want out of a person." when interacting with a girl it's not out of genuine like, it's because I want a hole. And when it is out of a like it's in that putting them on a pedestal way which no person can live up to,which results in a lot of problems. I mostly just use people when I want something out of them, sex, attention, money etc
>>28034095
>when interacting with a girl it's not out of genuine like, it's because I want a hole.
Oh, I do that too, but so does every guy. That doesn't make you a sociopath. I meant more like I feel the urge to hurt others emotionally, for no reason other than that I can.
>>28032795
>sociopath
>description of typical antisocial robot with less empathy (which is actually a symptom of autism spectrum)
>asks for other "sociopaths" in order to have some kind of community
>concerned that this community of "sociopaths" might not exist
I just hope that this a meme thread. Otherwise, you are, indeed, autistic.
I "feel" the same.
I was wondering are there medical help for this?
I've been questioning about why do i act like this for long times and dont't know what should i do..
For now i've been trying to act normal even if inside i hate almost everybody or if there is someones i "love" it ain't for long before i realise i hate him...
>>28032795
>I hate almost all my (very few) friends to some extent, and the ones I don't hate yet I hold as kind of perfect uberhumans, and when they inevitably don't live up to that I either secretly hate them or break ties.
You have BPD, and confuse it with sociopathy due to your lack of identity.
>>28032795
Iv got a decent amount of psychopathic tendencies but im not a full blown psychopath.
