I dont deal very well with any amount of stress edition.
What have you all been up to?
Fuck does depression get any better? Been suffering for a year now and i'm taking some st john wort and i still fucking feel like shit, i wanna fucking kill myself everyday cause of this shit, fuck man....
>>28012417
It has its ups and downss. SOmetimess it just dissapears forever in people. I envy them
>>28012507
What should i fucking do man? This shit is annoying me, and i can't kill myself cause of my parents, how do you cope?
>>28012417
Maybe? Some of us are just broken for life. I'm one of those people.
I'm feeling some tough feels here bros, want to know if anyone else shares them.
> tfw I know my memory is deteriorating fast so I'm desperately trying to preserve all my memories electronically
> tfw my insane sexual fantasies completely dominate my life
> tfw I stopped taking my antidepressants because it suppressed all my feelings but now I'm going completely off the wall
> tfw I want to die but too cowardly to end it
> tfw I want to pursue creative interests like writing but depression has killed my mind
> tfw I'm eating myself away
> tfw my room is a complete mess but I'm content with it
> tfw I swear I hear and see things while trying to fall asleep, had some straight up sleep paralysis too
> tfw this crazy ride will never stop
>only relief is alcohol
>out of liquor
Should I get another bottle or spend the rest of the night wallowing in my misery?
>>28012783
Who says you can't do both :^)
>>28012620
I find things to distract myself desu. But its hard, and doesntt always work.
>>28012667
What antidepressants were you on?
>>28012783
I mean i never really recommend alcohol, but thats just me.
>>28012369
so is working out depressing? have you tried it?? what are you doing right now???
>>28012826
I've tried weed, but it only seems to make me paranoid. Alcohol provides a gentle numbness and a temporary escape from hell.
>>28012887
WOrking out really can only help with depression, not cause it. I have, it does help me a bit. I'm panicking about this fucking project i have.
>>28012907
It can be a dangerous crutch. Is it the only thing that helps?
>>28012944
It's the only thing that makes the day almost worth suffering through. I do try to spend a few weeks sober once in a while just so that I know I can. I am not in one of those periods now.
>>28013092
Well good luck man. Alcohol has only ever made me feel worse so i dont drink it much
>tfw bought a ps4 and ps4.5 is going to fuck me over
Why man
>>28013161
im super excited to not buy it. I love my PS4 though.
>>28013239
You looking forward to anything? I'm really hyped for XV, Star Ocean, Yakuza 0, and Nioh. FF7R too if it runs decently on base ps4s cause fuck getting a 4.5.
>>28012417
>Fuck does depression get any better?
Believe it or not, depressiononly gets worse with time. I'm going on 10+years and I'm so miserable that I can no longer fathom what it's like to have a healthy mindset. I fantasize about what it must be like to want to see tomorrow. It's not fire and brimstone, but it's Hell alright.
>>28013310
Yeah boy band road trip is going to be hype. Really im just looking forward to Persona 5
>>28012369
I was going to commit suicide on March 21st and nearly did had my aunt not found me.
Spent 3 days in a psychiatric hospital because of it.
Still depressed as fuck, but I'm starting to see how beautiful the little things are, things that people take for granted.
>>28013359
Im glad you're doing a bit better anon, and i'm glad youre still alive :>
Hi, Skelly. Thinking about running away with my cat. Maybe I can get a job on the coast so I can finally get a boat, sail into the sea, and then drown.
This is the only taste of the good life i have, I know this and now its ruining the moment, my own understanding of this fact ruins what little time i have left with her. She is perfect and in less than two months i will be left without her. I
Literally have never felt this level of sadness in my life, The only thing stopping me from killing myself is because my mom could not
handle it. What do?
>>28013350
I was really hyped for Persona 5 when it was announced. We've gone so long with barely any info, so my hype has gone dormant. I'll definitely be happy once we actually get a release date.
Hi Skelly, I'm still hoping to die. No one really understands my pain but everyday is getting worse. I'm running out of energy. Today i was too lazy to get up to turn off the light so i took a nap with the light on. When should I end it? (I'm 19)
>>28013414
Not the worst idea boat anon, I'd go south though, maybe like florida or osmething, bet it easier to get a job there
>>28013419
Whats going on?
>>28013484
I need it so baddd
>>28013488
Preferably never, but its not my choice to make. Have you sought help?
>>28013127
Just got back from the liquor store.
Some people get angry when they drink, others get sad. When I drink I get comfy.
>>28013543
Maybe I can find a small coastal town in Florida. I need to stay away from the old retired snowbirds and racist negros. I just don't wanna end up like the bums I seen in New Orleans. I ain't got no probably working for somebody I just can't be the bitch boy at Wal-Mart. I came home and cried nearly ever day during that job. I just need to bring my cat but I don't think he'd want to live in a car..
>>28013543
Yes, I had a psychologist that told me I had normie disease (depression) and we had sessions every so often. I stopped going because it was too much work to go and I turned 18 as well. It's been a year since then.
>>28012369
>/cripplingdepression/
>SkeletonJW
fucking pathetic attention whoring tripfaggot. why havent you killed yourself already you simulating faggot?
>>28013596
I gotcha I gotcha.
>>28013622
You could work on a fishing boat or a barge. It would be hard work though
>>28013625
Any meds ever?
>>28013674
I live only to irritate you
also your insult doesn't make sense
Update from the other day's thread. I'm the guy who had the qt3.14 lab partner and was trying to shrug her off until I saw her feet and decided I had to at least try now. You probably don't remember.
Anyway, I looked her up on Facebook.
>In a relationship with Chad
The mission is a no-go.
>>28013699
No meds. Drugs r bad. :'^(
>>28013699
As long as I don't have to face hambeasts and their snit nosed bastard children on a daily bases and my Captain isn't a control freak I'm willing to work hard. All I want is a little respect while working.
>>28013736
Do it anyways fuck him
>>28013753
They p much keep me alive lmao
>>28013775
Do like that deadliest catch thing up in alaska
>>28013793
I really just want to die in my sleep. If I get better, I'll probably end it.
>>28013793
Way too cold man. But I hear they get paid way nice for the couple months they are contracted. I could look into it but I think I'd rather bus tables in the humidity than snatch crabs in the arctic.
But it'd be a fair way to get a nest egg. I just don't know what to do and what steps to take in anything. And if I don't do anything I lose by default.
Sometimes i feel guilty for being depressed because i know i have it so much better than other people. i'm middle class in a good white suburban neighborhood with good parents, but i just have crippling depression. i feel so weak and inferior to most people i meet and i'm not sure if there was ever a time where i wasn't depressed. I'm not really sure what else to say i just wanted to contribute somehow
didn't study for any of my midterms because i was so anxious and depressed
id open my books and would feel like sinking into a hole and disappearing, which made it near impossible to get anything done
it feels good that they're over with, but my marks are going to range from 10%-40%, which is embarrassing
>>28013674
fuck off
Mr. Skelly is a pretty cool guy
>>28013832
Ive honestly heard this expressed a lot :(
>>28013852
Do what you gotta do man. Personally i hate the humidity and heat, and would probably die in Florida
>>28013886
I'm in the same position you are, suburban middle class white male but I'm depressed like crazy. Idunno, i guess im lucky enough to not compare myself to anyone because all my hate is internally directed.
>>28013928
Can you drop before grades?
>>28013993
I constantly wish for it. I joke about it in class and shit but everyone thinks I'm joking. Some roastie took my seriously and asked me to drive her home after school. When I got to her house she said "The real reason why I asked you to drop me off is because I'm worried of you. Are you depressed? It's okay you can tell me." I responded with a simple yes and asked her to get out of my car. She didn't talk to me after that. Fuck fake people, Skelly. You're so much more real and to me you only exist on a monitor.
>>28013993
I'd take a dry heat over a humid heat but you can't hardly find a dry heat next to an ocean lol.
When I was in Costal Louisiana and Mississippi were that happiest moments of my life. Walking over a hill with a tummy full of shrimp poboy and seeing the water outstretched on the horizon. Then getting to the shore and watching the sun set.It was the only time I've ever felt okay to be alive.
>>28014085
Not gunna lie, a bit jealous anyone even bothered to talk to you about it. No one in real life really even cares to ask, and they're some of my oldest friends
>>28014092
Sounds nice desu. I want shrimp now
>>28014142
At the time we had an anti-bullying campaign at school. I don't think she truly cared but I guess it was nice.
>>28014142
I think I will run away and live in my car with my cat. I'll have to get him a harness and leash.
>>28014173
Had to care some or else she wouldn't have bothered at all.
>>28014197
I hope things go good for you man, I really do. Be safe, get kitty a pet carrier.
>>28014215
I'll let my mother do what she wants with the left over nonsense in my room. All I really want are my two rifles and my cheap netbook. Maybe my few books. Nothing that a trunk can't handle. I'll think on it but I think it's the only way out. Throw myself into the fray.
I just don't want to be gone when my great grandparent die. I'd feel horrible for that.
>>28014215
I guess. I'm terrible at picking up signals.
>>28014308
When are they supposed to pass? I mean its really not osmething you usually do "on schedule" but like is it in a few years or?
Also i finally finished correcting all the shitty mistakes on this project im working on. I wouldn't have even bothered if I didn't respect my group partner so much. Shes good people
>>28012369
I hope you feel better soon Skelly. We love you. I know i do. I check every night for you/the thread. Have a goodnight brobot.
>>28014372
Such is life.
>>28014402
Thanks man, I reallly appreciate hearing that, honestlly. I'm trying to pick up the posting again but its hard, as silly as that seems.
>>28014373
Well they recently moved into an assisted living but they still seem fine. I'd say it could be another 5 years. They're nearly 90. If they were not around it'd be boom gone but they're the only people who have really respected me.
ain't dropped out of college because of that shit. I don't wanna teach two people how to program and then have to try and ductape it all together in the end.
>>28014433
Man, i went from having (nearly) all of my great grandparents like five years ago to having only one left.
Luckily its my favorite one but like
it sucks
How've you been holding up Mr Skeletal? You seem to be on the receiving end of a lot of these threads. Wanna talk about something?
>>28012369
>SKELETONJW is alive
i'm doing alright actually, i've been getting off of /r9k/except not nowand learning the in and outs of conversations
still let a bad mood come and shit on me though, but cutting down on the wallowing is half the battle
>>28014479
That's a real bummer. Did you like them? Were you close or were you distant like I have been?
i wish i was a normie
Normies, when they have stress, manifest stomach pain and headaches,
At worst they sleep 2 or 3 hours instead of 6-8
Everyday i want to end myself and im starting to add counts on sleepless nights
I hate myself so fucking much. I've lost all control of my life. I'm just a spectator and nothing is real. I'm fucking losing it.
send help
>>28014556
being a normie is really gay, you get into a routine and you stick into it and all you can do is look up even when you want to start looking down
>>28014569
calm down and focus on the here and now
you are a person sitting in a room in front of a screen. that's it.
>>28014490
I would actually, let me finish my cereal and I'll type up my feelings. Thanks
>>28014495
I am alive. You'll all know if I ever die by my own hand, promise you that.
And good r9k is still shit, I don't browse it anymore.
Yeah learning not to wallow is hard. I don't do it very often anymore but when it happens it happens hard.
>>28014549
I did, in particular the husband of the still alive great grandmother. We would play rummy all together and play with dominos and I would pet their little dogs.
I also miss my great grandpa on my dad's side. He was a terrific man, one of the few religious figures I've ever respected, and he was a Baptist minister.
>>28014556
Normies don't have depression so me too
Althoughnormie is really just a meme don't strive to be a meme
>>28014569
Why do you hate yourself so?
>exams done in two days
then i'll be fucking FREE BOOOOOYS
>>28012783
Try smoking weed senpai.
Its super relaxing and less harmful for you than liquor. Also no hangover.
>>28014645
What's it like to have a dad, Skelly? Mine left when I was you and after molesting my younger sister. Because of that I've only got my mother's side of the family. Her parents being kind but emotionally manipulative so I only really have emotion for the great grandparents.
Is rummi anything like rumikub? I'm not sure how to spell it. I used to make plastic models with my great grandpa. The last one we put together was a corvette that we never paired so it's stark white with black tires and a touch of chrome. He still has it.
I don't want to abandon those two.
>>28014645
I can't help but hate myself. I'm such a disgusting failure person with no future. And now I can feel myself maybe going insane. I spend all my time sitting at the computer or sleeping in no particular schedule. My life is becoming a blur
>>28014694
>part time job and missed more than half of my classes
>exams in 1 week
>I don't know shit
i this shitty job forces me to work on weekends
>>28014490
Things weren't going so bad this semester at first. I think things really hit a snag with the death of one of my friends. We only knew each other through the internet, but we had been part of the same community for 4ish years, and he really held the place together. He drank himself to death one night and that hurt a lot of us like crazy. He'd tried to commit suicide before but hadn't been successful. And when things are finally starting to look up for him he accidentally dies. Some etherial being has a twisted since of humor
Since then ive kinda nosedived, and its came and gone. School is stresssing me out like crazy and I'm only taking two classes. After this I graduate, I have no idea what I'm going to do. It freaks me out, I've honestly thought about killing myself instead of going on.
I also have had someissues with gender but i dont really want to talk about them here
I'm just tired man, and I have to be up an entire hour earlier than I planned.
>>28014694
two more weeks 4 me
>>28014707
Depends on the dad. Mine has always been pretty good, never been hit, always respected my hobbies to a certain degree.
Rummy is kind of like that but in card form.
>>28014750
Have you tried taking stepss to get out of tthe rut of computer to sleep to computer?
ALso cute picture
>>28014779
I'm not sure what steps to take, my entire life has been sitting at a computer
is it normal to not have any direction in my life
>>28014832
Yes
I recommend you to just find the most soulcrushing job to build some character and maybe then you will be ready to face the true hardships of being an adult.
Save all the money you can
>>28014645
you seem to be doing better than... some
also wallowing hits intermittently, but the whole thing about wallowing is just trying not to let it fuck too many things up in the process of wallowing
>>28014779
Sounds like a good dad, Skelly. I'm kinda jealous. Maybe if I had one I'd be more level headed.
Rummy sounds like a chill game. I'm glad you have good memories of your childhood. Don't let them fade.
This valerian and chamomile tea has got me drowsy and I'm gonna call it a night. Sleep tight skeller. May brighter days grace our futures.
>that time of night when you start thinking about ending it
>>28014832
Yes.
>>28014820
Well first think "is there anything I would possibly enjoy or tolerate doing away from it?"
Hobbies are a great way to get out of the house
>>28014908
Wallowing pretty much consumes my entire day. Not too bad compared to some, but I get pretty close to the edge while I'm there.
>>28014938
Yeah, I'll be sleeping too soon. Night friend.
>>28015189
Real depression hours tap if u up
>>28015268
>tfw real depression hours for the next hour at minimum because i cant fall asleep worth shit
planing a new suicide method now that cyanide isn't an option anymore
wanting to die as usual
and just like ive done countless amount of times, ive had yet another epiphany that things werent as bad up until i made them bad
latest horrible failure is giving myself tinnitus on accident after thinking i had bad hearing when i really had great hearing
no matter what somehow i always manage to take things from myself without ever realizing what ive done til its irreversable
im socially retarded, depressed, and i took the very last objective good thing i could say about myself from myself
>short
>weak, sickly
>half blind
>at least i have my great hearing
>not anymore
>honestly cant think of a good thing about myself
>the last of my passions has been snuffed out, music, while everything else left almost one after another, systematically just 3 months prior to tinnitus
its great coming to the realization that you really never had anything horrible to bear
especially when you come to this epiphany after giving yourself a terrible permanent burden
not just bullshit dysfunctional autism, a real thing thatll never go away now
on top of my schizoid bullshit
its just great
>>28014779
Losing someone before their time is always really tough, I'm sorry you had to go though that alone. I've never personally experienced like that, but it seems rough. At least you can look back at the positive impact you've made on each other while you were both around.
Now's about the time for crunch time on big projects. What subject is it? I think I recall you mentioning you were studying engineering in an older thread? It's funny, but I sometimes look back at the crunch with positive memories, at least then I had some sort of purpose with what I was doing.
I'm going to be finishing up with school in December, so I'm feeling the dread of future plans myself. My only experience with life outside of school has been during summer breaks. After the initial excitement of a new job wears off, I quickly find myself in a slump. Working 9-5 with no homework allows for some serious hobby time. Perhaps then would be a good time to invest yourself in a passion? I'm still working this one out myself, not sure how to approach it yet..
Contemplating the emptiness of post-university life is daunting. I have no intention of staying in my current state, so I want to move to a new city. This will let me start fresh in a lot of ways, but I'll be completely removed from any friends I may have made in college or earlier. I've considered taking my own life if it doesn't work out myself. I think finding a purpose is key. For me, I think I'll get a dog. Caring for it will give me some sense of drive, and I would like the companionship.
Don't feel compelled to stay up for /r9k/, get some sleep if you need it. We'll all be here tomorrow.
>>28015479
wow that
perfectly in every way describes me
doesnt help i ruined my ex's life by association
the one person who made me feel loved and special had to fuck off because i was driving them insane
>>28015543
oops meant this post >>28015189
Okay, I think the only good thing about depression is that my imagination is really really active, and that only happens when I'm feeling really bad, the thing is that I have absolutely no talents out abilities and think all that hyperactive imagination should be used somewhere. What is a hobby or thing I'm not likely to drop immediately where I could let all that shit out?
>>28014706
I've smoked weed maybe 10 times. Made me paranoid as a motherfucker every time. I really don't get hangovers as long as I don't get super fucking wasted.
>>28015810
Writing, drawing, music, any kind of expression. Choose one and keep at it till you're lost in it.
>>28016027
I've been having song urges to pick up an instrument, start drawing, writing, out doing anything really, but I have no fucking clue how to start doing anything, and I'm afraid I'll be shit and just quit after a while. These urges feel do weird since I had never felt anything like that, that I just want to smash my head with a rock.
>>28016130
I can't tell you what you're geared towards. Only you can decide your passion. You might even try a few things to make sure of which one it is. After that you just need to continue with it and get better with experience.
The last time I remember being happy was in childhood, so over 12 years ago (22 now) but even then I'm not sure I was happy, I don't remember much of what happened during that time though, so maybe rose-tinted glasses and all that.
I was pretty apathetic about things in high school, I was also miserable, but it was a feeling at least. I still liked/disliked things and did those few things which I liked while neglecting everything else (reading, drawing, video games basically)
Now I have nothing, I just don't care about anything anymore, I'm not even actively miserable, bored, suicidal, or content. I want to do nothing, my interests haven't really interested me in years. I only get out of bed in the morning because it's physically painful to lay there for too long. I could go homeless tomorrow and my response would "ehhh"
I just want to die.
It feels worse because my parents love me and support me, they even know that I just want to die and trying to help me in any way.
But I just can't. I'm sad and it hurts all the fucking time. Reading some comments here really makes me realize how many people feel the same way.
>>28017673
Yeah I know that feeling. My parents always say that I was such a happy child. But I really don't remember if I was happy or not.
>>28015189
Oh God this, It could even be on one of those "good days", you're doing okay. Then around 4 in the morning, you suddenly think:
>Look at you, fucking useless piece of shit
Then it all goes downhill from there, ending with me in the living room in tears.
>>28012369
Recently had one of "those days" that lasted a week. Felt so numb and shitty that I couldn't even be bothered to come here.
On the brightside, I got a bit better and actually acquired a single gram of self esteem since according to my TTRPG group said I got better at roleplaying.
Other than that, I think I have aquired a dependency on benadryl.
>>28015189
why has someone made a picture about my thoughts
i wasn't ready for this
not now
we need a skype chat for all who know
>>28015189
this feel
Yea man, I've been staying pretty updated on crippling depression.
>memory is getting worse day by day, never know what day/month it is anymore
>can barely tell the difference between reality and dreams
>try to be creative with guitar and draw, depression and self-hatred ruins that bit too
>have no sexual desire left, haven't masturbated in 3 months
>only thing from killing myself is hope in therapy that seems more pointless each day, it's not helping at all
>have smashing headaches and crippling sickness every day
>most of the time can't/don't want to eat due to sickness/no appetite
>can't sleep properly, always have to lie in bed for atleast an hour before sleep comes
>have no family, only one friend whom i see daily due to us going to the same school
I go to sleep around 12-1am, went vegetarian and eat the healthiest shit, often having to force feed because I have no appetite. I go out daily, take good care of my hygiene and surroundings, flat is very clean. None of this shit has helped, it's only getting worse no matter how hard I try. I even quit smoking, I don't drink or do drugs.
(Diagnosed with psychotic depression)
>>28012417
Nope. If you suffer from it any more than a small episode after a tragedy, it is literally a part of you. It gets better sometimes and it gets worse sometimes but it you will never shake it.
>>28012667
>heat things while falling asleep
I'm pretty sure that is normal
>losing memories
Does depression do this? I feel like my mind has gotten a lot weaker for some reason and feel like I've been losing memories for years. I used to be a STEM wizkid on the path to a degree in biology but then I got super depressed and I lost both interest and knowledge. Though I am super good at business shit so I'm not sure if I lost my brainpower.
>>28020218
yes, dementia is one of the symptoms of depression
>>28012369
Whip it like you mean it. Just meme it nigger.
Wow, pretty surprised this thread lasted the night. They usually don't
>>28021446
Morning Skelly. I'm sitting in class watching some movie about slavery or some bullshit. I feel ya on the stress thing. Have a 15 page paper due in a week. Haven't started research or writing at all. Just been watching shit anime like Tokyo Ghoul for whatever reason. I just don't care at this point. I've never really cared. But, now I just REALLY don't care. I'm thinking of routing a hose from my exhaust into my car and popping some pain pills. Seems like a comfy way to go to be honest.
>>28012417
According to my psychiatrist real depression is a chronic disease, like diabetes.
It cannot be cured. It can only be managed and, if left untreated, will continue to worsen the same way diabetes worsens without treatment.
I've had just about enough, my life has become extremely fucked and my depression and to a lesser extent my anxiety have made it so that improvement isn't possible. I'm on my second medication which hasn't started helping yet (bupropion, second week in) and I don't know if it will even once I have the dosage increased. Anime and certain VNs can make me temporarily happy, but that's basically it. Even masturbation does only half of the time, and yes I've tried abstaining from fapping--sometimes my dick works, sometimes it doesn't. The rest of the time I'm miserable or at best "okay".
I don't think I can handle going to uni for a second year, it only exacerbates my suffering. I don't perform well in class since my depression has gotten worse, because I'm frequently tired regardless of sleep, so I miss material, and without that foundation I get further and further behind. This upsets my professors as well. And that's not even mentioning my lack of motivation and brain fog.
My parents won't let me move back in with them unless I get a job, which I have no desire to do, or continue going to college. One of these is necessary since they forced me to go to college for this year, so now I'm cucked by student loans that I have to pay back, for something I didn't even want. I can't drive, so that makes it harder. Even if I could get hired there are few viable jobs for someone like me. I'm not close to any professors and can't get close because of anxiety, and they already don't have a favorable opinion of me, so I can't get references.
I've been seriously thinking about ending it this summer or having someone who may be willing to end it for me. The few reservations I have at this point stem from some fear, and the fact that there are still some VNs and games I want to play, the latter of which don't release until later this year at minimum.
Maybe I'd be okay with living if I could be a NEET and indulge in the things that sometimes make me happy, but it's not possible.
>>28021912
I hit the text limit.
Going to uni also really hurts because I haven't made a single real friend and it's not possible because, anxiety aside, I'm a horrible person with a boring, crappy personality. I'm surrounded by people who like one another or love one another, and I'm neither. I'm also surrounded by passionate people who throw themselves at things they're interested in when I just don't like anything.This had better not kill the thread.
>>28021943
Uni has been the worst part of my life so far. And the worst part of it is, is that it only goes downhill from here, especially for those of us that are self-aware enough to realize all we do is inconsequential. The shitty office jobs we get won't have any impact on society outside of lining some bigwigs pockets. Fuck the system man, fuck it all.
>everything is boring
>dropped out of school
>afraid to tell it my parents
>afraid of calling or going to jobcenter
>fucking social anxiety
>afraid to open whatsapp cuz i cant say it to my normie friends
i cant anymore
>>28021912
>>28021943
>>28022127
Man, have you been reading my journal? I'm in my first year of Uni and I've already dropped 2 classes and failed another. I went to my school therapy building and was diagnosed with dysthymic depression. They prescribed me wellbutrin but I buy the generic brand bupropion. This is my 3rd day on it and I feel like it's getting worse. I spend most of my time in solitude, I have no desire to talk to anyone else, I've tried to, but its too much work for me.
One of the problems with wellbutrin is that for the first few weeks of taking it is that depression can worsen. I feel that way, but I have faith. I hope after the first month I can really start to experience life without this bullshit depression.
>in uk
>have GAD
>job searching causes burnout
>get a job
>start the new jib looking already exhausted
what do? tell sonething to my supervisor?
i know i will get back my energy i jyst need sometime...
>>28022347
Can't believe its only been 3 fucking days. It's felt like a whole week. What's even weirder is these crazy lucid dreams I've been having, they're so mediocre yet vivid, and they're annoying as fuck!
I need to buy trash bags pretty badly, my trash piles up until I find a plastic bag to throw shit away with. After starting buproprion, I had a dream where I had trash bags to clean up my dorm, I spent what felt like 30 minutes cleaning the place, then when I woke up my dorm was still shit. I legit thought I had cleaned the place and then went to bed, I felt like I had gone back in time when I woke up.
I've gotten used to it now. I don't even feel like getting antidepressants. I don't even fucking care anymore. I considered suicide when I was 12 after 2 years of bullying. It kept getting worse and worse. Highschool was a fucking nightmare. Now I'm 22. KHV
Considering just buying a gun and ending it but i think i would just pussy out
>>28021794
well fuckalamamefam
I been depressed for i dont even know how long now (thanks internet i assume) and recently got T1 diabetes aswell...
JUST
Anyone else know what it's like to be totally unable to communicate with other people about their problems?
My family love me and all have a history of depression themselves, but for 10 years now I have had to act like I'm fine. I can't do it anymore, but at the same time I am totally unable to admit to not being ok.
>>28012667
Best thing to do is clean your room. It should help a tiny bit and is a step in the right direction.
>>28012369
idk videogames and weed makes me stop being sad but once I sober up, in come the panic attacks
couple days ago, my insomnia took a turn for the worse, I would get a mini panic attack the moment I fall asleep
my only sanctuary taken away
pls end me
Finally out of class, but now I'm at work so I can't respond very well :( sorry
It's been a while OP what gives? (or gave, idfk)
>Feel like I'm the king of the world
>Talk with old buddies and have lots of fun
>Suddenly I'm getting sad/angry/anxious and isolate myself again
>Rinse and repeat
Why do this happen every time.
>>28022347
I hope it improves but I'm not optimistic.
>>28024264
My own issues kinda got out of hand, but then I was feeling better but then nosedived and here I am now
>>28024372
What do you get sad/angry/anxious about?
>>28023449
I get this shit too...panic on onset of sleep. Very weird. Anyone tell a dr about this? Never really known anything about it other than reading about hypnic jerks
>>28023449
The happiness of every man is based on what he imbides. Drink well, smoke well, eat well. You shall be happy.
>>28024441
That's the problem. It just hits me all of the sudden. I really hate myself, wish I wasn't born.
>>28024458
Yes you need to try to smoke something else or drink more before sleep.
>>28024458
nah its nothing like a hypnic jerk dude it's more like you start to feel your body shutting down and your brain just tactically shits itself
just pure terror out of fucking nowhere, not like the falling feeling you get from hypnic jerks
>>28024372
Because you are bi-polar.
>>28024581
Well it's not surprising if I am bipolar. My dead-grandfather was diagnosed bipolar.
Do I get meme-pills if I'm diagnosed bipolar?
I feel nothing now, my days are spent in bed or on my computer.
>tfw no feels
>Another depressive episode has rolled around
>Very little energy and feeling very tired
>Haven't even got the energy or desire to cook some dinner
>Meant to be trying to make a phone wallpaper but putting it off because I know I'll never be happy with the result
Not sure what the point of this is, just wanted to vent I suppose.
