secret/vent/feels/advice threads
I feel like absolute dogshit tonight. I just wish my family would go to bed so that I can go to the gym, then I will be in a much better mood. I plan to stay up all night, so I'm going to make some coffee after I get home from the gym, then I'm going to post on /r9k/ and masturbate.
Also haven't eaten today because I'm trying to lose weight. Just going to eat every other day.
>>28012392
why wait to they go to bed?
>>28012524
I guess it's not really when they go to bed as much as waiting until it's a bit later so there are less people at the gym. I don't know what to do for the next hour and 40 minutes though.
>>28012331
I have a problem lads, I'd go to /adv/ but I have never posted there so I am uncomfortable being there
usually when I go out for the weekend/go to a con/whatever I end up getting drunk and partying, but I really want to try drugs at some point (specifically MDMA or something similar). I've never been exposed to that shit though so I have no clue how to even approach getting it. molly+con rave sounds like a reallllyyy good time
Made out with a 6/7 year girl when I was 12. I'm fucking ashamed of it. She added me on Facebook a few years ago but I don't want to have anything to do with her.
I'm 25 now btw.
>>28012576
whats your probolem anon? I'm here for ya
Someone I know killed themselves earlier this Sunday. I feel shitty but I don't know what to do with my shittiness. I've tried to distract myself with video games but I get distracted in my thoughts. Oddly enough the only things that helps is lurking here
>>28012742
>see this girl couple times a day, no classes with her or anything
>see her looking at me whenever I walk past, not just a gaze or anything, but is looking at me right into my fucking eyes
>approached her once, got told she was busy
>didn't see her for weeks after
>start seeing her again, and shes doing it again
original fuck off bot, I know I posted this in another thread but no one helped
>>28012871
try to approach her again. How exactly did it go down the first time when you were told "she was busy"?
I like school but I'm worried I'll be a leper or laughing stock no matter what college I go to. I talk funny and it's really obvious how insecure I am, I carry myself like a dog that's been beat when I'm nervous. Is this an irrational fear? Is "just do it" and "suck it up" the only applicable piece of advice in this situation?
If it does come down to someone giving me a hard time how do I deal with it without snitching or going absolutely apeshit? Walk away?
Today I made the decision that I'm going to kill myself.
Been thinking about it daily for years.
Spent most of the day browsing methods until I settled on one.
Going to hang myself from a tree.
Going location scouting tomorrow.
Don't want to do it near my mother or sister.
Gotta talk to everyone and let them know I love them, then I should be ready.
Didn't want any advice.
Kinda just felt like sharing it.
I'm honestly looking forward to it.
>>28012947
I vaguely remember to be honest, it all happened so quickly
I blame it on her friend though, her friend came outta nowhere an cockblocked me (it was a girl)
but I also dont know how to approach since I have only done it once or twice
>>28013049
What went wrong anon?
>>28012331
Regarding everybody's secrets, it's really no secret that you have no breasts.
Would this be an appropriate time to ask you to suck my dick, because I really like small tits on a stupid bitch wow
>>28012331
Thinking about grabbing my rifle and just ending it. I wanna run away (I'm Fucking 20 it's not running away..) but I don't have anywhere to go and can't leave my cat. My cat is all I have left. I don't think sleeping in a car with a cat would be very fun.
Just started browsing /r9k/ after a while of being gone. Maybe I'm just getting older, but something must have changed around here. I rarely see anyone telling off normalfags or roasties. In fact, I see them openly posting about their lives, "fembot" threads, and people talking about all of the gfs or sex that they've had. What happened robots?
How do i make my LDR boyfriend stop being a cold bitch and start loving me again?
He refuses to tell me he loves me and accuses me of cheating now. he claim he is never happy anymore and i want to help him but i can't.
>>28013613
They took over and our apathy got the best of us.
>>28012871
>>28013081
Similar situation here. Most of what you said plus this.
>acquaintances with two of girls best friends
>internet stalked a lil bit (I don't know why I do this but I just get lonely and it happens)
>before I didn't know her name
>now I know her name and Instagram account
>never even spoken to her
I don't know what to do. I want to approach her casually but I hardly see her around. Any advice?
>>28013645
just let it go anon
im usually a very calm person but right now i just feel this white hot boiling rage and anxiety. i feel like i just want to punch myself in the fucking face. i want to shoot an assault rifle right into my fucking skull and pop that shit. i cant go to bed now
> Want to make friends
> Resolve to talk to people in class this semester
> Talk to them enough to somewhat reasonably be called friends
> They all want to do stuff now and like me
> But I don't really like all of them that much
> But still lonely and want to go out and be social, just not with these people
> Feel even worse because I know most robots would kill to be in this position
It's a pretty guilty feel desu
>>28013049
See you on the other side, familia
>>28014571
Hang out with them, you'll meet more friends through them.
I wonder what's it like to be a normalfag with his mundane problems
>>28012331
> what is on your mind bots?
I want a gf, but know I'm not cut out for a relationship
whats on my mind? the same thing thats been on my mind for forever but with more recent additions
all of my passions and things i ran to mentally for comfort have been snuffed out, i gave myself hearing damage on accident and ruined the last thing i had to my name that i really liked (music) and my life outside of that is already pretty shit since im poor, socially trash and definitely depressed now.
fucking my ears up made me realize what a little bitch ive been and how nothing really bad has happened to me
and the thing that made me realize it was giving myself permanent uncurable damage to my ears
i think im going to shoot myself soon desu this buzzing is horrible
Life is an absolute bother right now
>>28012630
>mdma
gtfo normie
I just got out a week long stint in a mental hospital due to a suicide attempt after a fight with my parents. Where do i go from here?
>>28014853
i dont know man
i miss my ex i miss my perfect hearing and i miss being happy
think ill try killing myself soon too
>>28012331
I've done some regrettable shit in my early teens, but I've mostly gotten over it.
Man I feel like I'm loosing my mind or I'm going to have an aneurysm or some shit soon.
Drinking is the only thing that makes me happy, honestly the rest of the time I'm obsessing over developing schizophrenia.
I'm going to off myself soon
>>28012331
i cut myself to feel calm
it's like a nice fuzzy feel, like someone giving you cuddles before bed
prozac also has helped
i get scared that the person on these meds isn't the same as the one off of them, but i'm forcing myself to look up as of late which has really helped me out
there are so many sad things on this earth, and all you can do is look up
>>28014933
>obsessing over developing schizophrenia
iktf
i havr everything, looks, talents, money, skills, and friends. i have a best friend and a girlfriend. i know how to make anyone laugh. im surrounded by a crowd that i connect to individually, yet why do i feel so lonely all the time?
I will never have a qt protective gargoyle bf and it's killing me.
>>28014925
like?
>>28015103
thats everything i wish i had that i dont
you probably want something a lonely loser like me has but doesnt realize and thus dont appreciate
>>28014925
tell it anon, we want to hear about the fuck up shit you did
>>28015168
???
Are you saying you want an ugly bf? Or like an actual stone statue? What the fuck do you mean by that?
seems like even more suicidal people on r9k than usual tonight
sick of being in my long distance relationship of almost 2 years
i'm her oneitis and i've long since started taking out my emotional investments in her to make the breakup less hard on myself
i'm tired of this shit and just want to be free from it but i don't have the courage to just tell her i'm done
waiting for when we have our next fight
I had a oneitis online. She was nice to me but there was every indication that I'd never be seen as more than a friend. Honestly, I think friend itself might be an exaggeration.
But no matter what I told myself, I kept investing in her far too much. Like a gambler that has no hopes of winning yet throws his money at the house. Which just shows how desperate I was for some sense of intimacy.
That one oneitis isn't the source of my current detachment. No, she was just the final straw in a lifetime of reasons. Lessons that life has given me to demonstrate that caring will only fuck me.
How pathetic it is that if I were a real wizard I'd create some way to receive the affection I'd crave. Maybe I'd give my oneitis a teddy bear in hopes she'd hug it to her. I'd channel that tenderness from the bear into me.
Or at least I imagine such things in my unending pit of loneliness. I'm just a man shouting in the wilderness. Rambling without purpose but I must continue speaking. If the silence lasts too long I won't be able to pretend I'm still alive.
I'm getting old and my life still isn't going anywhere. I'll be 30 in 3 years and if I don't make a change I'll be 30 in retail. I've thought about going back to school but the degree plan requires a second language, and I'll be the first to admit I just struggle with picking up languages. I wish I could be a NEET but I have no way to get on NEETbux. I've considered going back to call centers, at least it's not as physically taxing but just as shameful.
I guess this wasn't where I thought I'd be at my age
>>28012972
I don't think there are something like bullies in college anymore, in case it does happen:
Just give them a "wtf"-look. Like if you wanted to say "Dude, are you fucking 13?" If it doesn't work then just actually say it.
>>28012331
Spoilered, because it's probably gonna cause lots of REEE.I want to fuck my gf's best friendagain. It's been on my mind a lot lately and from what I can tell my gf would be up for it as long as she can watch. But I can't think of a way that doesn't include me fucking up majorly.
Also, I kinda hope that the application I have going comes through so I can leave my current job.
>>28015935
Well, fucked that one up. Still can't into embedded spoilers.
I'm descending into madness and I'm not sure if it can be helped
>have tfw no gf
>try to get one
>ask a girl her number and set up a date
>suddenly tfw no gf goes away
>cancel at the last minute and jack off to anime
>repeat
Is there something wrong with me? This has happened about 5 times already.
>>28014787
How did you fuck up your ears, anon?
Let us learn from your mistakes
>>28016016
Sounds like you could have some form of intimacy issue. I'm no psychiatrist though, so there's that.
>>28012331
I've got no friends and my last friend online is talking to me less and less each day, and we have nothing in common anymore. So when he finally stops talking to me I'm going to kill myself. I am already losing control of my life, I don't want to be any more alone
>>28016023
i shot a motherfucking gun at night out of boredom and forgot to put plugs in. one fucking bullet and
>my autism is now permanently triggered because i keep noticing my ears are unequal and i keep comparing my current hearing to my perfect old hearing every single time i remotely notice the changes
>music is ruined for me because i keep hearing a pitch and uneven audio levels, the escapism that kept me alive til now is gone
>all in all i am just a fucking moron that cant deal with the things he deserves and its killing me that im a piece of shit
one ear feels muffled all the time
the other rings
i often find myself trying to do things that dont work anymore, like yawning to pop my ears or flexing my jaw
this reminds me of my fuckup
and its literally just a cycle of limbo because im incapable of letting go of things and ESPECIALLY forgiving myself
fucking sucks dude, normal things ive been used to since age 5 are a painful reminder now
just blowing my fucking nose reminds me my ears are different now because of the asymmetry in popping them, and how they feel
not to mention trying to fucking sleep... cant stand the ringing in a quiet room
cant turn up the volume to mask it because loud noises make it worse
literally hell
i think im actually going to kill myself
what a waste of a bullet too dude, one shot and i changed my life forever, worse than any of my autism and neet problems ever could and now i find myself regretting i didnt just put the damn .38 in my head
>>28016190
oh shit i was just reading about this. you might be able to cure yourself. people do kill themselves over this though. but ou might be able to get better.
Just had a dream that I had a gf. I even felt her soft plump lips. Worst feel to wake up to in a depressing, dark room that smells like masturbation and sadness, filled with piss bottles. Someone put me out of my misery.
I know LDRs are a huge meme but I don't want to give her up, she's like me with a vagina which is incredibly rare. We literally bonded over our incest fetish. It's basically a dream come true, but she's 3000 miles away. JUST. JUST.
>>28016190
>.38 did this
damn, wow. i've shot my 9mm a couple of times without earpro and was just fine. i never use plugs with my .22 but that's just a .22. i'm sorry anon, that sucks.
no cornflakes
>>28016325
i dont know man it seems like the realistic thing to do would be to accept im gimped for life and move on
but i cant do either of those because im severely mentally challenged
i just feel like fucking shit dude i already have permanent reminders that im a failure in the form of my face
but i can avoid mirrors
i cant turn my fucking ears off
even if i go deaf ill still hear this fucking ringing
its horrible its driving me insane man im so fucking depressed
>be listening to song
>song ends
>notice high pitch
>take headphones off because before fucking my ears up id get irritated by shitty electric buzzing in crappy headphones
>taking headphones off does nothing because the buzzing is in my head now
>cant even tell if i can hear the buzzing that used to bother me so much in my headphones because tinnitus ringing
>every time theres a pause audibly when im at my computer i notice it and default to taking headphones off only to remember once again that its my ears now, when it used just to be my tech
>weird feeling, i used to worry about buzzing and having hearing problems before this happened
>now i actually do have hearing problems
>i now know for a fact that the buzzing i heard before was just electrical shit and me picking up high frequencies
>no longer have the comfort of telling myself im jut hearing anything young healthy people do
>i actually literally do have gimped ears now
>have something i thought i did but really didnt but i definitely do now
literally just fucking
reliving rediscovery over and over again
its hell
i cant move on
Tomorrow my work has a dollar meal promotion and the line was out the door last time they did this
Just want it to be fucking done with holy shit
>>28016505
haha thats just even better
you shot a 9mm more than i have and fucking lmao you have no problems you can notice but i sure as hell do
i fucking love life dude i love just HAVING bad shit
i love that someone i knew with my same diet and activity level is way hotter than me and i love knowing someone thats shot guns more than me doesnt have the damage i do after
one
fucking
bullet
i just want to die dude
>>28016528
Dude, maybe go see a doctor? How long ago was that gunshot? I served in the military for a year, fired AK74 without earplugs countless times and never had that problem for more then a few days.
>>28016608
2 months ago and one day as of today
fucking how man? an ak with no earpro and you cant notice any problems at all?
literally dude one fucking .380 from a crappy handgun is all it took to give me asymmetrical hearing, make my ears need more effort to pop/lose ways to pop them like yawning and make my left ear ring
its driving me fucking nuts
i should be happy i didnt lose a hand because the gun i used could literally have exploded (zinc frame or some bullshit)
but im just filled with regret
and im seeing a doctor on the 3rd next month but it costs 100 bucks an office visit cus no insruance
im also poor
>>28015537
Just fucking do it you faggot
Fuck you
One of my professors dated my mom in HS, he seems to hate me though
I just really cant stand normies
They ruined my life
I want to beat the shit out of normie teenage boys
It would be a revenge
Normies ruin everything
Memes
Website
I cant even look at "popular" memes like Pepe without disgust because normies stole it
Normies are not nice
Atleast theres one website i go to that doesn't have normies
I cant say the website anywhere because im afraid it would be ruined
It was on the News recently, i hope normies dont invade it
>>28016608
and you know what else else?
i told myself while pondering possible hearing problems before i gave them to myself that id just get an electronic earpro or something and itd be handy around the house anyways. was my way of coping with any hearing loss i mightve had due to loud music.
now i have fucking tinnitus AND hearing loss. great. one thing thats with me til death and something else i can only really fix with expensive electronics.
fuck me man.
>>28012331
i sometimes piss on the floor if my piss bottle is full
i clean it up but still
>>28016722
save it for the next woman,don't die over a sluts
>>28016776
how had normies ruined your life?
>>28016904
She already has it, and takes it off when she sees him
>>28016946
They gave me social anxiety, psychotic anxiety, panic disorder and androphobia
So yea im not really okay with normies
>>28012331
i don't understand people. i don't understand how normies can lead lives without any flavor to them. what do they do in their spare time? do they just stare into the void? "haha i don't enjoy anything in particular like movies or games or tv shows or books or art im just so NORMAL! i really want to get married and have kids! and i will name them sarah and matt!"
how do they live?
i mean i know my life is pathetic but being a normie just seems like such an empty and uninteresting alternative
i wish i could just enjoy life fully but it seems that everything is against me. i know i am not the main character of the universe, so why does it feel like everything is always specifically targeting me?
honestly i don't even really have any wishes or dreams for the future because mentally, i already made a note to commit suicide at some point
fug
>>28017002
I forgot to mention depression, they also gave me depression
>finally meet someone who I feel like I can spend time with
>don't feel exhausted or pressured around her
>she has irreparable mental trauma
>suicidal, self harming, self loathing
>shes still sort of in love with her abusive ex but says she's falling for me, and we bone sometimes
I want to die
>>28017011
>"haha i don't enjoy anything in particular like movies or games or tv shows or books or art im just so NORMAL! i really want to get married and have kids! and i will name them sarah and matt!"
You must never leave your house if you think this is what normal people are like
>>28017011
You feel for the normie meme. There is no such thing as normal. Everybody is fucked up in some way. You are just mad that they aren't your brand of fucked up.
>>28017049
meh
>she has irreparable mental trauma
>suicidal, self harming, self loathing
i got all that but theres no one wanting to spend time with, or to feel relaxed around, me
>>28013049
Sleep tight, sweet prince
>>28016976
so take it back,don't be a beta about it ,or jst sue her
