Why..? Seriously, m80s.
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Okay guys... I have to ask... why the fuck are you like this? Who hurt you? What happened to you? The fuck, senpai?
God did by gifting me with aspergers and a 72 year old dad.
My dad was a real asshole to my mom and so she wouldn't hold him.
Thus I grew up with no father figure and I didn't leave the house early enough. If those things were different, my sex life would have looked differently and I'd give less of a fuck now.
Then again, it looks like most people (plain normies) are zombies and are riding themselves into stable relationships that in some way end their lives. I don't envy anybody who stops studying.
None, I just come here to read the autistic stories
>>28008437
>>28008449
I mean I'm not judging, kay? I'm in.. a lot of the same positions you know? I'm an awkward semi-autistic hermit who dwells within my parents' basement to this day (25 years of age). I'm a high school dropout and a NEET of the highest caliber. I get autismbux monthly from the Canadian gubmint.
Despite all this, I'm not a virgin. I don't lament my existence. I don't pity myself. I layer my negative emotions behind walls of irony so thick that Trump could use them to keep Mexicans out of America for the next 600 years.
I'm not normal, but I'm not broken either. And a lot of you seem to think you're broken. Seem to BE broken. And that disturbs me. Because if I managed to eek out some kind of positive existence, I'd like to be able to share that capability with you.
Nothing that's happened to you, nothing you've done, nothing that has occurred within the narrow frame of your existence or any existence that preceded it... SHOULD... hold you back.
Why does it. How do I help you people? ;_;
>>28008367
>Bullied for 8 years straight from elementary to middle
>Stopped when we got to high school and started to treat me decently
>but could never forget those years of shunning and grouping up on me
>on a list of most popular to least that a few kids in middle made
>1 being popular and 270 being least popular out of my grade
>I was 268
>suspect it was because of my clinginess, because after years of being shunned I would stick to whoever I was friends with, which would drive them away
>manipulated all the time when people saw that I was that clingy, gullible, and naive, using me as a form of goon or minion
>some of these manipulators would hit me like I was a slave sometimes
>after they hit me i would stay anyway for a short time because I was beta, but eventually left them because not total beta
>only had 1 friend who has faded from my life
>he was the only one who treated me decently
>regret always giving him hard time now
>mfw he was the only one who listened to me
>mfw he probably convinced a bunch of people to treat me nicely when I was in h.s
Let's see
>small but noticable disability, bullied all my life
>Dad fucked and married other chick, family was broken from the start, never had a real family life or father figure, mom was overprotective
>poor family on top
>side effects of medication I took during HS intensified my depression
>several friends who ended up mentally ill
>several other friends who tricked and dropped me on the first opportunity well into my early 20s, destroying my ability to trust people or even be fully empathetic
I think that covers it. 25yo V here btw
>>28008367
I'm poor beta fgt who plays pirated vidya all day idk what went wrong in myself and I can't get it together, I hurt me, so fuck you me
I was beaten up and picked on as a child, but I retained some hope. That died when it became impossible to achieve my life's goals.
Not all I can do is wallow in self-hatred.
I'm not your senpai, senpai.
>>28008455
this desu familia desu senpai
>>28008367
I could lay the blame at autism, but I really don't know about that. I had friends and socialized relatively frequently, but all of my connections have disappeared. I literally do not have friends anymore.
At this point, it's not their fault or responsibility, I've failed to take any initiative in socializing. I haven't cut myself off, I just faded out.
And I have this temptation to try and go out and be social again, but I have myself consigned to a self fulfilling prophecy that I'll fail, either through my not being able to socialize correctly or them noticing that I'm not socialized correctly.
Not that either of those outcomes even have a chance to come true; I don't provide them an opportunity to happen because I assume they'll happen anyways.
So all of my social failing is my own doing. I'm not really mad at myself; just disappointed.
>>28008367
DON'T YOU PATRONIZE ME
DON'T PATRONIZE ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM YOU SON OF A BITCH
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
>>28008842
>Not all I can do is wallow in self-hatred.
This typo is more correct than you've ever been in your life. Sad, but beautiful.
>>28008367
>My parents weren't proactive with me when I was a kid.
>Left on my own with nintendo/computer etc.
>Became comfy on my own
>Developed psychotic behavior, talk to myself etc.
>Have friends but never open up to them because it doesn't feel right fundamentally
>Have older friends, look up to them, I basically learned to be a man through friends I had that were only a couple years older than me at any point.
>Parents divorce, go back and forth for a while which was too unstable
>Decide to live with dad
>He marries the trashiest woman alive
>I become even more of a shut in, don't even want to leave my room because that awful woman is prowling around
>Get a girlfriend somehow
>Doesn't last long because I couldn't show her emotional affection, and when I finally did she saw how fucked up and chaotic my emotions are because they've been supressed for so long.
>End up crying and screaming incoherantly etc.
>Only option is to continue to suppress them and find an outlet
>Find an outlet through exercise and music
>Still comfy at home alone, when I'm not working
>Never attempt to make friends anymore
>When I do, I end up avoiding them a lot of the time because I'd rather stick to my routine. I only really like "going out" for an event like a concert. Going to a bar or something is boring
>Have one friend I play vidya with. He talks a lot so he doesn't mind that I don't.
>Short, skinny, zit faced nerd
>Bullied constantly since third grade (kids knocked my teeth out, skinned my arms on concrete, broke my fingers...)
>At home dad is on hard drugs (LSD, cocaine, speed, exc...) and anti psychotics (Doctor said people in insane asylums take less)
>Due to his mood sings, he beats me with his belt or switches me till I can't walk
>Obsessed with perfection, makes me practice baseball 4 hours a day for years and beats me when I don't perform
>Mom cowers in fear and does nothing. She stays out of the house and leaves me with neighbors most of the time
>Neighbor kid and dad are awesome; kid becomes best friend
>Neighbor dad dies from cancer, bestie loses his mind and disappears with crazy mom who lost custody of him for drug abuse
>Parents divorce, now super poor with mom after dad kicks us out
>Neighbor kid comes back, but crazy. Becomes drug dealer, kills little kid for fun, life in prison
>Graduate college, but total social recluse. Can't land a job. Abusive father hires me out of pity; pays me near nothing. Monitors me to ensure I'm working all day non-stop.
>Quit after 1 year. Become NEET. Mom tells me to kill myself or beg for job back.
>Go back to work. Get private office from old storage room. Paid a little more, enough to survive now, but no way to build a future.
>Currently 29 year old KV with no friends, no hope, and no future.
I like to call myself the thread killer. This will be the last post.
>>28008367
You understand now op, do you?
>>28008367
Everyone.
Oregano comentarius.
Autism and poor, overbearing parents.
I'm not a bad person, have a decent job, surviving easily on my own. I'm just shit around people, and have never had a bit of social status.
>born into a redneck family
>dad in & out of jail constantly
>mother & dad eventually leave each other
>move in with grandparents & mom remarries SSG in army.
>have my brother
>they eventually get divorced, mom & me & brother move back in with grandparents
>im about 14 at this time
>become a shut in, only playing vidya & pissing in bottles
>horrible acne, along with emo phase & bullying by hicks at school
>come home everyday, upset & just wanting to fire up vidya.
>middle school remains hell until i meet gf.
>doesnt last long. cant handle more emotional baggage
>drop out of highschool because its 10x worse
>flash forward to current day
>still a slight shut in & still living with my mom & grandparents.
>>28009055
>This typo is more correct than you've ever been in your life. Sad, but beautiful.
It's the only thing worthwhile I can do. I'd rather be a failure than settle for mediocrity.
>>28008449
I know that feel bro. Dad was (is) an Alpha Chad, and a bit of an asshole. Mom couldn't stand him so she left him.
Naturally, when I got to teenagehood, Chad genetics kicked in. I was (am) quite good looking, and girls would normally aproach me to ask my number or give me theirs, compliment me, etc, but thanks to years worth of bullying + growing up with no male role model, resulted on me shitting spaghetti every time.
>inb reeeee
I'm an abomination, I don't belong anywhere
>autistic inability to communicate
>build elaborate world inside my head that is impossible to get people to understand
>suicidal thoughts
>turn into suicidal actions
>entire world falls apart
>receive intensive mental health treatment for a year, where i'm removed from my peers, live in treatment facilities and hospitals
>by the time i try to start college again i'm already feeling isolated
>i don't know how to just casually start a conversation or build a relationship with someone after everything i've been through
i don't know how to explain to people where i've been the past year
even though i'm doing better mentally now, i just feel distant, like it would be impossible to try to get people to understand, to connect with me
i wonder if this is what ptsd feels like
We are society's rejects.
Toys that were made wrong, and can't rebel against the machine that made them.
>>28008367
While a huge amount of trauma in my early through high school life left me socially broken, I began to improve in college after being a NEET for a bit, and I can at least now function. I hold a great job, I've got a decent car and a fair bit of money, I travel to Europe every year for work, my live SHOULD be amazing. I just can't function quite enough to get a gf, so that one failing constantly eats away at me.
>>28008367
>friends that you knew since kindergarten stopped talking to you in sixth grade because you weren't cool and they probably hated you the whole time
>you glare at them, they laugh at you with their newfound popular clique
>middle school comes around
>this time it will be different!!!
>nope.jpg
>whole class hates you, those that befriend you make fun of you behind your back and laugh at you
>stop being friends with them no matter how much they beg you to forgive them they're only sorry they got caught and will continue to do the same thing
>whole class starts bullying you
>insults, called it in hallway, laughed at, insulted, chair taken from under you when you are sitting, always picked last at any group project or gym class, locker broken into and books and magnets are everywhere
>makes me bitter and i read all the time through classes and recess it is my inly escape from the torment during school, at home it's internet communities, vidya, and sci fi shows
>stop talking much
>marks drop
>english teacher thinks i'm retarded and puts me in the special ed class to take a test
>finish it no problem and read after i am done
> teachers there have no idea why i am there in the first place, go back to regular class
>did a book report about a mermaid having sex to achieve immortality in english class but change it to be morr pg so i don't get a call home and know the teacher is stupid and will never read it
>this continues for the entire year
>this year begins my crippling depression and anxiety
>attempt suicide but fear keeps me alive
>eighth grade and i get two friends that insult me and i am the beta but at least not alone even if i am hated
>high school, attempt to fit in but am insulted, pushed into lockers, and hate and have no attachment to those i talk to because i learned people will always hate me so i have to pretend
>make one friend i actually like but moves away
(1:2)
>>28010698
>sick of pretending to be normal, not depressed, and not hating everyone
>sit alone and glare at everyone
>attempt suicide but fear keeps me alive yet again
>continues year and a half
>switch schools to be with friend i know
that's the only one i have
> turned out to be a good year
>uni starts and only friend moves away
> i try to dit in but never works so i sloely spiral into depression with public panic attacks
>almost go through with another suicide attempt but get 'help' and change and get a bit better but the depression
always creeps up on me no matter what
>get job but wind up having same issues as at school but magnified and abusive situations ensue
>sexually assaulted
>eating disorders
>drinking problem
And that's just the beginning. Moral of the story is that chad and stacy always win while here i am with issues in me that they created that i will always have while they will continue to have perfect lives.
(2:2)
>>28008367
My dad left me at 15. I developed a God complex. I once had suicidal thoughts. I can only feel alive in combat or in life-or-death situations, nothing makes me feel alive, not even sex.
People have girlfriends, I don't.
It makes me depressed, nihilistic, suicidal.
It makes me have low-confidence, weird traits, social anxiety.
i've been like this since i was 16. i'm 29 now and don't feel mentally different, i'm a bit calmer and more numb now, but not much else has changed.
i think it's a mix of bad parenting, shitty public schools, shitty friends, and mental problems.
>>28011158
>I can only feel alive in combat
You ever been in combat buddy? Genuinely asking here, not trying to be an asshole.
>>28009968
>I'm an abomination, I don't belong anywhere
If your only problem is that you're too afraid of the girls that approach you, you seriously need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. That's something that can be fixed, it's like you're complaining about your fingers being too greasy to pick up all the money people throw at you.
>>28011295
Not in the army but I can only feel alive when I'm in a life-threatening situation such as a fight. Otherwise, I'm functioning but I seem to be getting one mental problem after the other, first I had a God complex, then I wanted to shoot up my school, then this and now I'm trying to counter my problems by developing a hero complex. Still, not as severe as other anons here but I still wish I didn't have these problems.
Little shit didn't like the new kid who just moved in (me) and he was one of the popular kids. His entire group shunned me and everyone followed. Eventually I became the bully target. My parents were distant my entire childhood and took out their anger on me sometimes because of their failed careers. Never learned to socialize or develop emotional bonds with others. Now here I am. It's not all bad, I'm on the smarter side and keep up with my studies so if everything goes right (>implying) I'll have my dream job. I've already given up on being able to join society, getting a gf/wife, raising a family and being a good dad so I don't have that to worry about.
>>28008367
>father was an alcoholic and prescription pain meds addict when I was growing
>was never really "there" in a metaphorical sense
>mom was an abusive bitch
>ended up moving to practically the middle of nowhere
>moved away from the friends I had in the neighborhood even though I was home schooled
>forced to go to public school because mom needs to work and dad has to work too
>mom and dad divorced too
>this was in 5th grade when cliques and all that other shit were beginning to form
>since I was the new kid I was immediately pegged as the one to be picked on
>didn't help that I was home schooled before this so had virtually no socialization in the context of public school
>bullied by everyone in my grade
>quickly become "that kid"
>bullying continues through middle and high school
>middle school was the worst where things started getting more physical
>stabbed in the eye, beat up multiple times, one kid tried to slit my throat, had tacks/nails/needles/etc. slammed into my back, people threw shit at me like unpopped bags of popcorn and rocks, you get the picture
>got to the point where I just said "fuck it" and openly welcomed beatings
>parents don't give a shit, school doesn't give a shit
>have a few friends, mostly from the band
>even then they still made fun of me and sometimes would physically harm me
>I remember one of my "friends" saying the only reason they kept me around was for comedic relief
>this shit continued until the day I graduated from high school
Pt. 1 of 2
>>28011505
>Never learned to socialize or develop emotional bonds with others
this is a big one for me. i really don't know how to be emotional with anyone. i was mostly fine as a kid, had friends and was mostly normal from what i remember, but something happened in my brain once i hit puberty and i started noticing that i was just an actor playing a "me" when i was around other people including my friends.
i don't know exactly how to explain it, but i don't think anyone i've known in the past 12 years actually knows who i am, they just know some character i put on.
i feel like a psychopath sometimes
>>28008700
>has autism
>struggles to relate to other people
hmmmmmm
>Raised by a single mother
What else do i need to say?
>>28011676
I had the exact opposite problem: at one point I believed that life was a play/movie/book, I was the only true human, everyone else was a character in the story
>>28011617
Pt. 2 of 2
>went off to college naively thinking things would get better
>just end up becoming more and more of a social outcast
>don't socialize with anyone, don't make any friends
>quickly become "that guy"
>sink deeper and deeper into depression and abject loneliness
>start self harming and self medicating
>at this point I am completely socially inept
>unable to develop bonds, empathize, or relate to people
>always have to put on an act when out in public
>still hope that things will get better
>hit rock bottom this past Fall
>become extremely suicidal
>Attempt suicide on March 21st, 2016
>spend 3 days in a psychiatric hospital
>still emotionally broken
>still depressed as ever and still suicidal
>tfw the ride never ends
i never really had a social life growing up and had some weird narcissistic superiority complex and thought being a computer nerd was better than being some chav cunt who goes out and drinks on friday night and that i'd get a tech job and be happy but now they're all working good jobs and im an unemployed cunt whos been sitting staring at the same screen for two years
>>28008700
If you're here, more than likely you're beyond fixing, or no longer care enough to try and improve your situation.
"Don't save em if they don't want to be saved" goes for men too.
>>28011895
this is me, though I'm still in uni I don't have any friend and I haven't a had a real connection with anyone in all my life
>>28008367
I'm just kind of weird looking and autistic. Lots of people have hurt me. Bullies, traitorous "friends", shitty parents. I don't really blame anyone in particular, though. This is just how life is: brutally unfair, and the only solace is that it's short and doesn't matter at all.
I pray every single I die somehow
And Fuck you OP
>>28008367
>>28008700
I'm not sure seems like I'm stuck on tragedy mode .
I mean I could have gone different , and there have been times when I might turn it around , but nope
Bad shit happened but , not as bad as many here . I had a shot .
I'm stuck in the past or in a loop , it's hard to see a future that dosn't suck
some people can deal with shit , others can't or maybe just don't
Betrayal and isolation has infiltrated my entire life since I was a child.
My mother was overbearing and both of my parents were emotionally distant.
My Sister hated me up until she started college and I was in high school, now she feels like my only family.
I've never felt love for them, when they say "I love you" it doesn't mean anything, it feels scripted.
All of my friends growing up abandoned me at some point, my best friend because of joining a sports team, so I spent my time alone
Middle school was tortuous socially, pushed me even further into my shell,
Add a mix of only negative and embarrassing moments and relationships with girls, I always ended up hurt, and now I am literally too anxious to be in a relationship, I cut every single one off.
Highschool was more time spend with a "friend group" but it was more like something to do than my friends because they were really shit to each other, and no one was thinking as negatively as I was, so I kept my thoughts to myself, basically bathed in depression for a few years
parents relationship on verge of divorce, father shows his true colors and thoughts when abusing alcohol. Everyone tries to pretend it never happened, but it changed the way I saw him forever.
Basically, if my own family and friends don't care about me, why would anyone.
Why should I care about them?
who knows.
>>28008367
>had a childhood love, turned out to be my literal soulmate
>literally the deepest relationship any of us have ever been in
>she's a 9/10 qt, extrordinarily intelligent
>i know i can't give her happiness because i'm just a hollow robot
>she was in love with me
>so she stayed a virgin for me until she was 19, i'm stil a virgin now
>never made a move on her because i know i couldn't make her happy
>she never wanted kids so ultimately she couldn't make me happy
>never made a move on another girl because I know none will ever come near to what we've had for 10 years
I'm thankful for what we'vd. Many robots here did not have the luck of finding love, and we even kissed once. I think she let go now, I intentionally haven't been responding to her messages for a year.
I just want to be old, to have an excuse to die already.
We don't belong so we come here to not belong together.
>>28011895
I went through this phase from 12-16, then I started going out and drinking with people, going to high school parties. If its any consolation its not much better either way, people like us never really fit in anywhere.
>moved every other year until I graduated from high school
>ended up with some weird attachment disorders from constantly having to reform relationships
>probably have some mental meme disorder like schizophrenia because it runs in the family (and autism too, hooray for me)
>father was either a really great guy or angry and distant and I couldn't tell what made him flip between those two
>brother is literal genius autist making 180k a year
>I'm a wagecuck scraping by on 29k
>anime and other escapism is my only release
Why should I be happy? I have nothing to live for. My life is empty.
> poverty
> bullied
> shit parenting
> mild mental disorder
> neglected
All mixed together
We can make it, bros
>>28008367
My parents. My parents fought all the time. It really affected me on a psychological level.
On top of that, I was never close with my dad. I can't even understand him, he speaks another language and I only speak English. Everything I ever did was never good enough for him.
I could have been a normie Chad. I was athletic and decent looking. But the fact that my mother would drink and they would fight and sometimes get physical would make me want to hide in my room and play video games. Add on top of that that my father was the sole breadwinner for the house and would never give my mother any money, I could never go out with any friends. So now I just stay at home all day, I don't even want to go out because I don't like going out.
Add on top of that that my high school was 20 miles away and I had to take a bus there and that all my friends were from all over the state, I never had a chance at having normal friendships where you go out and have fun.
Being in a car with a friend is a weird experience for me. So my sedentary, friendless lifestyle led to me being a fat loser.
Which leads to me being here today. NEET, virgin, friendless loser at 26.
>>28008367
>Be 8
>mom and dad split up
>Mom moved me in with my grandparents in the countryside
>grandma fed me like a pig
>became extremely obece
>start new school
>became the "fat kid"
>bullied everyday, beatings, being outcasted, pointed and laughed
>goes on until middle school
>Get fit, become decently attractive
>QTs and Normie's will approach me now
>through all this have major trust issues, like of anybody is even remotely nice to me I push them away because I don't think their genuine about it
>QTs approach me all the tine
>never gain any social skills
>Try to kill myself a few times, got put in a psych ward
It's not that bad anymore now that I'm 21, I just go to college, work, mope around the house alone. I've kinda thrown in the towel when it comes to making friends and getting a girlfirend.
Nothing, really. Nothing happened.
>poorfag garbage divorced parents are never around
>move around a lot as kid due to fuckup parents
>no siblings
>quiet, passive from birth
>still sort of borderline normal for awhile, couple of friends
>eventually friends all just kind of move on one by one
>people never really talk to me or notice me at all
>one day notice that I don't have any friends or family
>never really know what to do when not working so just come home and get on internet
>years pass
>whatever
>Have never fit in with anyone
>no good traits
>small circle of friends I have hate me anyways
>Play vidya with 1 guy ive known for years
I suppose mental illness would be to blame if anything. I just can't connect with other people. Even when they offer acceptance, I can't accept that anyone would want to deal with someone like me and I grow to resent them. Having a family or normal romantic life isn't possible since I'm afflicted with some pretty extreme fetishes I can't get off without (had them before even seeing porn). Platonic relationships involve being a cuck, so no thanks.
I was bullied in school pretty badly until I learned to isolate myself and "play dead". My mother has bad anxiety and wouldn't let me out of her sight much until I was 18. Parents had very high expectations and I failed every time, I didn't get good grades, sucked at sports, couldn't connect to others and never made lasting friendships. I don't really blame my parents, they tried their best and had good intentions. It's not like I grew up in a broken household.
In my adult life I was very focused on making money from 18-23. Worked as much as I could, "networked", and sold shit online. I always made a good amount for my age, saving most of it. In late 2013 I got really sick and was in great pain for weeks. Something snapped at that point and I went into a spiral of internet addiction and my desires to become rich were replaced by desires to just be left the fuck alone. I work as a programmer now and make good money but I really hate my job. There's nothing I want to spend my money on either. Nothing interests me outside the Internet.
Everything seems so pointless. I don't care what happens anymore.
Well it all started in like 7th grade when my then best friend introduced me to this girl from out of town. I said hello or whatever an hung around for a few minutes. Then later that night my friend told me "She said you weren't unattractive".
That for some reason really fucked me over. "Not unattractive" is just such a shitty thing to say. It's like "oh, you aren't fucking disgusting, but you're nowhere near desert of a complement." Like just remembering him say that hurts my inside.
So since that happened I kinda just, I dunno, learned my place in the world? I'm plain looking, boring, I don't really boil down to anything more than random ugly sack of shit.
So like I never really bothered talking to women anymore if their first thought of me was going to be "not unattractive".
I stayed with my small friend group until college, where I'm now completely alone, something that has had pretty serious effects on my mental health.
>>28008367
Aight I'mma tell you.
>born in a lower middle class Chinese family
>mom is physically and emotionally abusive
>dad is always at work and stopped interacting with me past the age of 7 because he gave up on trying to steer me away from autistic shit like vidya
>start masturbating at 5-6 yrs old
>develop a fetish for pedophiles
>go out and try to find these supposed child molesters that were everywhere
>fail, 0 child molesters
>get really sad because i rationalized it like "no one wants to molest me = i'm ugly" (it didn't help that peers and adults called me ugly too)
>get bullied at school for being weird/ugly
>be autstic, but never diagnosed because my parents hated modern medicine
>I'm always made fun of for being poor or bad looking or being autistic
I think I started looking for romantic/sexual love from such a young age because I hadn't gotten love from my parents or peers.
Also i was autistic and that fucked me up.
Didn't help that the first guy I ever liked cucked me for a cute older girl.
>>28008881
but it was rigged from the start m8. it was always going to go this way
>>28008367
My parents are both short and fucked up any chances at me having a decent, happy life. I'm 5'4 and don't even try doing anything anymore.
>>28014330
Yeah, this shortie took the words right out of my fingers.
I'm a short little boy and that's all I'll ever be. No one has ever taken me seriously, all I see in women's eyes is disgust and all I see in everyone's eyes when they hear me is amusement, even if I'm serious like 95% of the time. I'm a buffoon, and an ugly one at that.
Some friends in college and my first gf. In hindsight, it was mostly the gf, she played all of us like a fiddle. I'm good now, but the drama that stemmed from that ruined most of my college life, which I'm still bitter about.
But, at the end of the day, she nearly went to jail and now is basically indentured to her dad and was hauled to to bumfuck Nebraska where she can't hurt anybody now. That's karma for you.
>>28008367
No one. It's all my fault.
I don't mind the normies.
anyone else ctfu at this thread ?
Very intellectualized from an early age. Not very socially well-adjusted. Lived most of my life alone. Gained friendships with oddballs and fringe people. Developed an oppositional streak. This led to paranoid and avoidant behavior, which pretty much brings us up to speed with who I am now.
>>28008367
>highly educated parents pair up and decide to have a child after marriage
>have me, build a business together
>business fails, parents start falling out
>parents divorce when I'm 3
>move to grandmother's house in the middle of nowhere with my mom
>mother is an engineer so basically autistic, father is similar except a business guy
>don't have any siblings, have few friends outside of school growing up
>father gives up on life and becomes an ivy league educated minimum wagecuck that just doesn't care
>at 14, go to the regional vocational high school, join sports, etc so I can be normal
>live the life of a normie until 16
>catch a stomach flu at 16, it doesn't end until I'm 20
>life fell apart, went from 4th in my class to dropping out
>can't play soccer anymore
>all of the girls I liked in school end up getting knocked up by chads and jamals within a year of graduating
>just world fallacy mindset shattered
>get highest GED score in the county for that year
>drop out of community college a year later
>constant nausea, pain, and discomfort finally disappears after numerous treatments, strict diet, and luck
>inherit rest of college fund at 21
>move out to a rooming house in the city to live with my friend and a bunch of others
>second best part of my life, basically a frat house without the studying
>have SEO biz, drug dealer(mollie in particular) roommate asks to drive her around and some other shit for a cut
>biz fails because of algorithm change
>roommates become opiate junkies
>get fucked over royally by friends and life
>move home, undergo existential crisis
>write romance novels now because I might as well make money off the fantasies I had about my future
Pic somewhat related: how I feel about my life right now
>>28014813
Iktf man. How old are you?
>>28008845
I'm not your senpai, teacher
>>28008735
Are you me? I went through the same scenario during elementary and middle school. I got more friends in high school from joining fine arts and had almost achieved normie status until I dropped out last year. They all graduated anyways and went off to college/university so I wouldn't have any contact with them unless I use social media.
When I was growing up, I was so much more ambitious and high energy, but as I went into middle school, the bullying became too much for me. Not saying it was anyone's fault, as most of it was from me being an autistic clingy faggot, with no self awareness, but I truly didn't know how to deal with it to save my life. Once I got into HS, I tried to modify my personality and how I processed things on a psychological level. It worked, but as a result I became depressed and had low self esteem. I also started have fights with my mom, who I previously had a nearly flawless relationship with. I became very shy and quiet as well. She says to me that she misses the days where I was much more talkative and outgoing. Now I realize that people liked me more because I learned and grew as an individual, not from putting on a facade to prevent from being myself and to seek approval from others.
At the moment I'm just a depressed NEET.
I'm 28 years old, dated 12 women since I was 14, fucked another 6 and been ultimately rejected by another 8 that I can remember for a total of 26 women I've been interested in in my life. By every one, I have been cheated on, lied to, mentally abused, taken advantage of, and used. My parents got divorced when I was very young (which wasn't a big deal) but stemming from that my father was never around, and my mother was overbearing as shit. They have since become more normal, which is good I guess, but was basically ignored for my entire childhood. Most of my problems are motivation and trust related. I can't pick a good person to be with because I have shitty taste in women, couple that with a ridiculous kindness towards women and you have a recipe for getting shit on. So I just don't date anymore despite my desire for companionship and a family. As for motivation, in a quick learner, but I fucking hate sitting at a desk learning about shit that I don't care about. Before you say it, i''m not trying to rub shit in anyone's faces either. And no I'm not as Chad either. I just a fucking chubby guy with a beard who used to have stupid fucking long hair. I'm shy and a loser, but I guess I can fake it OK. None of that "just be yourself" bullshit either. People only like you when you have something to offer, whether it be money or skills or good looks. Rarely, and I say rarely because I've seen this ONCE, does a woman like a person for who they are. good luck guys.
