Hey, Anons. Since you have all this free time, we heard you were using it to solve impossible mysteries. If that's the case, maybe you can solve this mystery that has us all so stumped? Be warned it's a toughie.
>The victim is Mr Shekelstein
>Was probably shot through the heart with a high caliber weapon
>Burn marks around hole, probably point blank
>No bullet found
>He was found in his mansion bedroom
>The door was locked
>Only key was found inside the room
>No windows in the room
>Shekelstein was very frugal so no furniture besides bed, desk with a candle on it and a chair
>Room was incredibly damp for some reason
>Shekelstein was holding a burnt match in his hand
>Before he died, Shekelstein's servants saw him looking incredibly smug
>As for any other strange occurrences, the lights were cut out right before the servants heard the gunshot/explosion upstairs
So, Anon, what happened?
>>27999103
Aqua Necklace got to him.
>>27999103
He figured it was cheaper to not live than sustain himself, hence the smug look.
He used his jew power to kill himself and put the blame on the antisemists.
>>27999103
Oh vey! He sacrificed himself to perpetuate the jew victim complex. Now his brothers in coin have a bigger buffer to do their jrewey in.also bump
He made a GIGANTIC fart in the rom and then lit a match to light his candle with, ignited all the gas, and exploded
>>27999267
I agree with this anon. Shekelstein was not smug, merely gassy.
>>27999135
Anon, we have never heard of an Aqua Necklace here on the force. Is it some kind of special weapon?
>>27999184
While logical, surely his jew powers do not violate common sense! How did the murder weapon and the bullet disappear, then?
>>27999247
That's an adequate motive... But it doesn't solve the mystery.
>>27999267
But what would his motive be, Anon! And how was it that only the area over his heart exploded, and nothing else was burnt or damaged... There were certainly know burns around the victims rectum or hand...
It was ghosts
>>27999103
Explosive on his chest, lit by match, match was then placed in his hand because the killer didn't have any pockets to put it in, room was damp because autistic neet pissed every where
Jew was smug because he took away the NEETs welfare
>>27999371
Or maybe there was a larger explosion but nothing was burn t jew too the room being wet
He was smoking his bong not knowing that one of the new servants replaced his old bong with a deadly trap bong.
Servant cut out the lights and went inside to remove the trap bong. Servant has master keys.
>>27999332
You mean to say that ghosts exist?! Anon, surely this isn't a baseless claim...
>>27999371
It definitely fits... But, then, how did the killer escape the locked room? Come on, Anon! What's the final piece to the puzzle!
>>27999103
The mystery of why Seal Clubbing Simulator 2016 isn't greenlit yet. Solve it. http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=668378558
>>27999403
We thought of that. But Mr Shekelstein was far too cheap to buy master keys for the servants. No master keys exist.
>>27999103
Who gives a shit? Fuck him
>>27999405
The NEET snuck in through the ventilation
The Jew needed ventilation because jew
The NEET could fit in ventilation because he can't afford much good and therefor is skelly
>>27999103
he stabbed himself with an icicle and made it look like a bullet hole just before he died with the match. the "explosion" could have been a jewish spell to make the gentiles hear something that wasn't there.
>>27999424
But, Anon! Mr Shekelstein's estate controls the media and all the prosecutors! If we don't solve the case, who knows who they're going to blame for the murder?!
It was a drone.
>>27999436
Food* not good
>>27999436
Very clever, Anon! I can't believe we didn't think of it before! But we just checked and the ventilation had a metal grate on it. Even the most skelly-mode NEET couldn't fit through that grate.
>>27999440
The old icicle knife trick? Interesting. But is jewish magic really that powerful to create such an illusion?
>>27999448
But where did the drone escape to? The door was the only exit and it was locked.
>>27999507
It's a drone, it can do stuff humans can't.
Probably the toilet.
>>27999507
>But is jewish magic really that powerful to create such an illusion?
>>27999523
Even so, the drone still takes up physical space. And besides, the toilet was outside of his room, in the bathroom.
There could have been a second key to the room, a team of at least 2 people were in the house, 1 cut off the lights, 1 was inside the room with the guy who wanted to light the room. He shot the guy when his friend cut the power, got the bullet back so there would be no evidence left behind, then locked the door and walked away when the power was still off to avoid being seen.
>>27999507
The killer escaped stealthily when someone found the body
>>27999103
was the candle lit? just the lights in his room or all over the house? What caused the lights to turn off?
>>27999543
>>27999371
Combine these and we win
t. The anon who thought of the autistic NEET
>>27999536
Well whatever he bought and brought to his room was a killer drone.
He was SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! BUT WHOS TO BLAME!?
The "explosion" was the icicle blade falling from the ceiling.
It was the JOOs fault, balme them
>taking the name detective anon for stupid meme posting when there was a legitimate private detective anon who used to post stories about cases he took in before /r9k/ turned into /b/ so that /b/ could turn into /normies and porn/
>>27999543
It makes a lot of sense. But we searched all the witnesses and the whole house... Was it really possible for them to get rid of the key in that time? And was there really a place we were unable to look?
>>27999546
A classic trick. But there were quite a few servants, wouldn't at least one have noticed the killer escaping?
>>27999557
The candle wasn't lit. And it was the lights all over the house. The killer must have set up an EMP device to go off, completely turning off the power to everything but battery operated devices...
>>27999589
I suppose, but we uncovered nothing to suggest the drone ever existed...
>>27999616
But what was securing it to the ceiling? We didn't notice anything suspicious up there...
>>27999687
They don't need to get rid of the key, they can take the key with them far away from the mansion.
>>27999687
New theory
The Jew killed him self, he rubbed lotion on his chest, didn't know it was explosive, went to light candle, match touch his chest, exploded
Unburned lotion sprayed everywhere dampening the room, the,lights we're off because some faggot prankster fucked Mr. Shekelstiens shit up and cut the power (fucken Sam pepper)
I'm probs wrong, OP dropped a hint in saying only battery operated devices would work, implying Jew didn't kill himself
>>27999777
Ah, but Anon. All servants were present and accounted for. And none of them noticed any strangers entering or exiting the mansion at any point... And even if they had, we had police check anyone who was heading back from the area and none had any keys worthy of being considered suspicious.
>>27999813
An explosive lotion... That's genius! However, we couldn't find any kind of lotion bottle within the room. Besides, checking the dampened area... It's water, we're 99% sure. It certainly doesn't have any smell or taste indicating it's some form of lotion...
>>27999895
How about this
The police force stops hiring frogs and retartds who post on a Taiwanese basket weaving forum and purchase useful shit like finger print detection shit
>>27999944
...But then I'd be out of a job, so I'd have to move back in with mommy and I don't have enough GBP saved up to live comfortably there.
>>27999988
Well, you better start saving some. There's no escape from your destiny.
>>28000068
B-b-but I got dubs! Doesn't that mean there's still hope left for me on the force!?
>>28000101
No. Fuck off Jew bot, this is oregano, not a post
>>27999135
Must be the work of an enemy stand
Well, I'm heading off. No-one got the intended answer, so just presume this is the answer since it's my favorite theory in here.
>>27999568
As for where the key went, as I asked, I had a solution to that puzzle planned if they wanted to continue going down that thread of logic. There was actually a place which wasn't checked and couldn't be checked. Aka. inside the ventilation, since it's blocked off with grates that stop any human entering it. Just toss it in there.
(If you want to know the intended answer, here are the easy mode keys to it:
>Alkali metals
>A fake coin
>A front shirt pocket
>A smoke detector/sprinkler system
Hopefully, the answer should be clear now.)
>>28000321
Oh, alkali metal + water = boom
I thought of alkali metals but could figure out how it would explode
>>28000383
Lit match to light candles set off smoke detector + sprinklers
>>28000408
Who the Fuck has sprinklers in their house?
>>28000492
r-rich people in
...p-places that could burn easily
>>28000529
Fuck you, y'nigger
the devil came to collect his due. CASE CLOSED
>>28000383
>he was smug because Mr.Shekelstein is a renown research Chemist who made a breakthrough invention with potassium
>he puts the remaining K in his shirt pocket in this euphoric moment forgetting the danger of it
>while entering his room the lights go out and he lits up a candle forgetting he has sprinkler system
>boom goes the potassium thru his heart
>>28000566
W-what?
D-don't know what you're talkin about man...
