what's worrying you, /r9k/?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vxQs84FMWQ
Ive listened to this video a lot. Truly we are kindred spirits
>>27992191
I mean well before this post. I like the scene in the royal tenenbaums with this song too.
I hope i find a job soon anon
i just started college(one week), i'm all alone and in the recess i always sit alone it makes me feel like i don't belong there
https://youtu.be/O0YcfiSR-wg
>>27992221
Im sorry anon :/. I would try to join some club at school or eye out some other robot. Its tough, the school in my home town was a commuter school (big though) but people werent really there to socialize as much as the school i transfered to later.
I just want to die. This world has nothing for me.
>tfw experiencing 18 y/o angst
I don't know what to do with my life, and I feel like everything ahead relies on how well my grades are
maybe I should just apply for trades scholarships and become a pilot
where can i find girls like this please
>>27992097
it's been 2 years and i still dream about her and its the only thing that makes me feel happy
i want to disappear
Feeling okay, except I'm slightly afraid of failure.
I have been losing weight in phases. It started off with just intense caloric restriction, then I added lifting, then walking on my off days, and tomorrow I am going to crack down further on calories, down to 1,000-1,200 a day. Doing this, I should be able to finish with the bulk of my weight loss and finally be thin again by my birthday, which is at the end of May. If all goes well, I will be celebrating my birthday by eating a bunch of Chinese food, getting high on DXM, and watching Star Wars Ep IV again for the first time in months. Doing this gives me something to look forward to, and it gives me motivation because I will feel really shitty if the time comes and I am still a chubster like I am now. Also I look a lot like Mark Hamill when I'm thinner, which is neat.
I am pumped, and I am going to succeed. Sorry for the silly post, I just really needed to vent this feeling.
I'm utterly alone and hurting deeply, and no one knows. I get home from school or work and sit alone until I'm tired enough to sleep. I've run out of shows on Netflix to distract me from myself. I desperately want to reach out to someone for support, but there is no one I can turn to. The guys who were my very best friends now have girlfriends and new friends who know them better than I do because its been so long since we talked. In less than a month I'm moving to a new state and I probably won't see any of them ever again. Despite my instincts I'm throwing a going-away party for myself to say goodbye to the people that still care enough about me to show up. I don't remember how to make friends anymore and it will probably be many more years of loneliness before I find anyone who I can talk to again. If I ever do.
The story of some HS Dropout Failure.
>Dropout at 17.
>Hide from everyone until I "graduate". No one knows.
>Work constantly shitty jobs
>GF of 3 years threatens to breakup with me unless I go to college
>Ok. Go to college. But it's feb and school starts in sept.
>GF breaks up with me. Don't feel anything anyways, probably for the best but I still think of her and have occasional dreams even now. She started dating some other dude like a month after we broke up.
>Go to school and take an art fundamentals course because it's all I could get into.
>Get decent at art but not great by any means.
>Want to get into animation at sheridan.
>Dropping the ball all over the place now that it's end of semester. GPA is less than 65% avg they want.
>Didn't get animation portfolio in.
>Considering taking art fundies again at different school.
>On the other hand I could go into CS or some shit and make comfy 70-80 doing fuck all and never mentally challenging myself.
>Schools over this week, I'll never see some of them again.
>My closest friend "John" (for this story) who I was supposed to move in with if I got in is most dissapointed not cause I may not be going with him, just a lack of enthusiasm for my craft which he's quite experienced in.
>Financially strained and working a shitty customer service job now.
I haven't drawn anything in a month. I don't know how to feel. I know I'm supposed to take life by the reigns and do something for myself but all I want to do is either run away or have someone make my decision for me. I don't think in the past ten years I've ever done something for myself alone. Everything I've ever started has ended up in an admittedly decent but half hearted attempt and ended in failure due to lack of commitment. Why should I have expected college to be any different.
>>27992097
>friends d gets a at girlfriend
>finding gets a qt girlfriend short after
>go to extended family reunion
>all 5 cousins have qt girlfriends
>12 year old cousin will have a girlfriend too in a couple of years
I could live an entire lifetime without truly connecting with someone and die alone
i'm only happy when it's raining
i'm gonna put rain sounds on my ipod and go on a night walk in a couple hours and try to pretend like it's raining
>>27992097
just angry
this life is so fucking boring and absurd the only option that really changes anything is killing yourself and thats such a shit option
its like getting a vidya which is absolutely fucking shit. story makes no sense. unfair. endless grinding. but you can't ever quit. wow so good, thanks life you fucking cunt.. worst part is you cant even blame anyone because theres no god or order, just things as they are. human mind and the world are completely opposed. needing meaning in a meaningless world, needing satisfaction when were constantly dissatisfied, needing permanence when nothing ever is. its so beyond fucked up. the words just aren't there to describe what a nightmarish, hellish absolutely fucking cunt of a situation this is. thats another aspect of this hell, no words capture it, ever. yet we try constantly. animals are comfy in this world, they belong, just eating and dying. we dont. but obviously the idea of belonging is human and non existant. just another attempt to strive for meaning and order which doesnt fucking exist. fuck everything
FURCLKCKCKEFMELKfhkwehfnksne akNF>selij/hfdrdf.nk fndnl.m /lfsd/mjwzkusvdmn fg nv ,g.n#
I'm moving to a new town in a few months for school and I want to make a new start but I know it's not gonna happen and I'm gonna be the same beta faggot I am now
>Oneitis tells me she's busy and takes 10-15 hours to respond to a simple question/comment
>I want to tell her how I've felt about her for the past 2 1/2 years but that'll just scare her off
>I think she's just manipulating my feelings to keep her ego fed
>tfw so lonely and beta that I've cried over a girl that I've never seen in person
>>27992984
everyones in the same boat just get on with it
>>27993192
Wew lad.
But seriously. If you've never seen her before just tell her. I mean, don't mention the fact you've liked her for 2 1/2 years that might come off as creepy. Make it seem as if it was a spontaneous thing and if she's not into it you could go back to normal. (If you're a total bitch)
I saw my ex today for the first time in awhile. He was with his new fiancee and apparently she's pregnant. We were together for 2 years and we only split up like 9 months ago.
A part of me is disgusted by how fast he's moving on but another part of me is jealous and wishes it was me. :/
>>27992221
It's the same for me, I'm considering dropping out because of it
>>27993282
I've been bringing up the idea of her visiting me and she seems receptive. Or at the very least willing to consider it so I think I'll have to eventually let her know how I really feel -- so you're right anon.
I've got a presentation due tomorrow for a small class and I'm panicking about the thought of standing up in front of people and speaking. I'm one of those people who has a tendency to stutter and shake in front of an audience, and I'd do anything to skip the embarrassment but it's worth a decent portion of my grade.
On the upside, it'll be the last time I see any of them before finals, and I saw someone reposting some OC I made a few months ago.
>>27992097
I didnt "date" a girl for 7 years now
Im still virgin
I literally havent been around a girl for 1 year now
Im slowly losing it but I refuse to go out or use some shitty dating app
I also dont have any more friends for about 2 years now so I wont be able to meet some girl via via
I just dont know man
>>27993428
Honestly anon, I don't have any overnight remedies. Sorry to say. But I used to be like you. If I did have any overnight advice, it'd be simply to chill out and realize that literally no one in the class gives a fuck including your teacher. So just take a deep breath, don't sweat it and read it like you would a book in your head at night.
Longterm? try and join an improv drop in class or a club or something. They're either dirt cheap or free and it's really fun to just dick around. It helps you loosen up and preform in front of people.
>>27993497
I hear you. The best presentations I've given are the ones where I haven't taken them seriously. It feels like I'm able to speak clearly only when I'm mildly annoyed or flippant.
>>27993192
>takes 10-15 hours to respond
She's not interested in you. Simple as that. If a girl likes you she will go out of her way to make you the priority
>>27992593
>I'm utterly alone and sad (I'm a woman with no Chad bf)
>but I'm throwing a party
>clearly has friends enough to throw a party
Uhhhhhhjhhhh roastie????? Get the fuck out
I got a phone call yesterday for a job interview Friday morning. Applied to it two months back, never heard anything, forgot all about it. I'm not too sure that I'll pass the drug test but in a way, I'm not too worried over getting the job. I have a big camping trip planned for next weekend, a separate weekend event in May, and I start grad school in August, so the free time would be very beneficial for me.
When I tug on my pubic hairs and writhe in pain, I realize I'm going to be in absolute agony if I botch my train suicide.
>>27993492
Sounds like most of your problems are self inflicted then anon. I know the feeling. But bitching about them on Anonymous boards aren't going to fix it. Whats wrong with dating apps/sites? Whats to lose? Why not make more friends by playing vidya or joining a forum if you spaghetti in real life? They don't even have to be in real life. Skype friends are real friends too.
I miss my brother. He's moved far away and is doing well for himself. But, he was my only friend. Holy fuck, I miss the good times I had with him. He's moved on to better places and things now. I hope he hasn't forgotten about me. I guess I just miss my friend.
Being in a relationship with a borderline girl is simultaneously harder and easier than I expected in some ways.
>>27992097
I'm worried I'll never learn how to be comfortable with letting other people get close. I know everyone's that way somewhat, but it's beyond crippling for me. Anyone else intentionally shut down friendships midway or before they can even get started?
>inb4 friends->normie!!!->REEEEEEEEEEE!!!
>>27993599
I miss you too bro
>>27993599
As a brother who's also moved away. If you were friends on top of being brothers, I'm sure he thinks of you constantly. Maybe not every second of everyday but constantly in the little things he does like when he boots up his console/PC and thinks about that vidya game you always played together or eating that food that you both always compromised on because you loved it or you hated every food the other liked and I'm sure that like you, a little smile comes across his face and he looks back at it with a strong nostalgia.
Give him a phonecall/skype call and if you can do something online together like play videogames and you can absolutely go for it.
>>27993634
I'm about the same, except I'm so far gone that I don't even bother initiating with other people. I'm fucked up in a lot of ways, and the only friend I have currently is one I've known for almost 8 years now and even then, I've kept him in the dark about many aspects of my personal life. Once I lose that friend, I will likely never make a friend again just because it's so hard to open up to people.
Your best bet is tojus b urselfand try to show others the side(s) of you that you are not ashamed of. It's less important that you change yourself to fit their expectations, and more important that you stay the way you are but only reveal the aspects of yourself that you believe would be received positively.
>>27993590
I'll admit its got to do with self-esteem mostly, I dont consider there is anything to lose, but I simply dont have the guts to show my 5/10 face on a dating site
>>27992221
>recess
>>27993755
Well shit man, nothings gonna show up if you don't cast the net. Just get tinder and fucking do it. Honestly, you may call yourself a 5/10 but your probably pretty average and some girls find average really sexy.
everyone yells at me a lot
family, mostly my sister
gf
school
>>27993544
I know this anon. But part of me is delusional enough to believe her when she says she's "really busy". She works 36 hours a week on top of going to school. And whenever she is free for awhile, she usually messages me a lot and continues the convo. She's most likely just manipulating me for her own reasons. She knows how I feel about her.
I'm just so pathetic that I cling onto her every word. I've tried erasing her from my life 6 times but I keep crawling back to her hoping things could eventually go back to normal. She's so pretty and we click perfectly.
My dream is to become an Astrophysicist but I struggle with even algebraic physics. I'm currently failing physics 2 hard and it's not an issue with numbers, I just can't isolate the variables in the problems. On top of failing the class everyone always tells me "You're so smart" or similar things and it hurts because I know that can't be true. I haven't even taken a Calculus class yet 5 years out of highschool and have yet to be even halfway done with my 2 year degree.
Everything is fucked. I'm tired of it and I give up.
>>27993147
humans were meant to exist as hunter gathers, the world we've created for ourselves isn't how we were meant to live
Missed work last night, might be fired
Already was struggling to pay rent, going to have to pawn Shit to stay in this house.
refuse to move back with parents.
Might have to go to the govmnt and get housing and unemployment help.
Contemplating suicide by police or drowning myself in the sea
>>27995348
You're one of those that romanticize about space and "are we truely alone in the universe"
Astrophysicists basically spend their days either coding, formulas and derivations and maths. The 1% get to go to those huge space satellite and analyse data.
Read sci-fi books, but don't pursue it. gl anon
I make myself miserable because deep down I don't think I deserve happiness. Nor is the happiness I desire something I'm capable of. The cycle of self-loathing and isolation feed into each other without end.
I can't stop thinking about a girl, and it's very annoying. She works in a local shop; I was in there once, and saw her working, and I thought she was incredibly cute. She wasn't the one who helped me, and I left and didn't really think much of it. I had to go into that shop again a few days ago, and this time she was the one who helped me out. She was very friendly, and smiley, and charming, etc. Now, I'm under absolutely no delusion that it was anything other than her just being friendly because it's her job, but now I can't stop thinking about her.
This is a stupid feeling. I don't think I could possibly hate myself any more, just in general, so I'm just going to project and hate all of you instead.
>tfw threads always die when I post in them
>just got to work
>in a good mood, I downloaded some podcasts and shit, gonna play them or some chill music while I grind through the paperwork
>go to the bank to pick up some shit
>see a really cute girl promoting some bullshit pamphlets for credits or whatever
>she says hi
>I do my thing while glancing at her
>realize I know her from school or something, not personally though
>she is super cute, ass to die for, cute face
>suddenly feel sunken and depressed
>get back to work
>don't feel like doing fucking jack shit anymore
>unmotivated
>open r9k
Why can't I see an attractive girl and feel nice and uplifted like most men do? Why?
I swear to fucking god if all women were fat and ugly I would be so much more happier. And I'm not even a virgin.
>>27992097
I'm fine today
>>27992097
>mom has cancer
>dad has burnout
>brother lost his job and constantly rants and talks about how he wants to kill someone
>sister is a hysterical bipolar bitch
>all i wanna do is commit suicide
>can't find an apprenticeship
>know i will never get a job
>im a fatass
>i hate all my co workers
>i have never had someone who i could call a true friend
my entire life is a big piece of shit and the only thing i find joy in is vidya and drawing
typical crap
>>27997983
start lifting, what else is there.
>>27993192
>someone you have never met makes you feel this bad
I have the exact same thing. It gets exponentially worse every day. Its destroying me from the inside every day. This hurts more than anything else i have felt before.
>>27992097
-Annie aged horribly
-the girl I stalk mentioned a guy in a "love of your life" thread
-I'm a 32yo worthless, depressed NEET
-I can't play graphically intensive games since I don't have a video card and have to use onboard graphics
The only thing I have to look forward to today is catching up on RWBY and I have some chicken drumstick I'm frying later. Gonna have it with mashed potatoes and packet gravy and/or onion rings. Plus my prison wine.
>live near petrol station
>always fill up here
>NEVER filled anywhere else
>closing down for 6 months for extensions
>to autistic to fill anywhere else
I'm too tired to feel. When I'm more awake I guess I feel some anxiety about school work. That's about it. The only time I'm "angry" is when I go on spergy ironic rants about da jews and womyn. It's the only way I can get my kicks seeing the faces of normies when I talk about that stuff. Other than that, pretty empty
