the waifu
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Katya is the prime waifu dream. Screw Rose.
I dare anybody here to post a superior waifu.
And do not say eliza because she is shit and is also a whoer
>>27985519
That's a man, huh.
Tfw I'll never make Katya pregnant with my seed.
>>27985519
LOOKS LIKE LOU HAS SHOWN HIS TRUE COLORS
>>27985519
Is that a man or a woman
Jdjsb fhdnjd s
>>27985519
she will prolly age like shit tbqh
>>27985519
Katya set her instagram private....
>>27985519
This girl looks insanely cute and now I know I am officially gay because I want to find out if she's a trap like these other people say. And if she turns out to be a man, that would actually make it hotter to me.
>>27985519
How old is this thing
>>27986234
Now, she's 22.
>>27985519
>Rose
DID SOMEONE SAY
ROOOSE THREAAD?!
post your basta and bait, lads!
sometimes, I think that Rose lurks these threads because she hates herself. she sees all these mean comments and then becomes depressed and contemplates suicide.
"I entertain them, and this is how they repay me?"
And her self confidence tanks, and she's unable to do any real job, or even find work. She spends her days offline mode, scared that she'll see buzz around here when she goes online. she rarely goes outside, except for the occasional job interview, which she spaghettis to the max, and spends the day fattening herself on shitty fast food and then rides home on the metro. she boots up her PC and searches for the thread, and just lurks it, hoping people don't trash talk her or find out more about her family. she's in a catch 22, she can't announce herself and try to put a stop to it, nor can she start making videos again. she falls asleep, refreshing the thread, wishing that they'd go away and her life goes back to normal. but the thread is still alive the next day, and even if it died, a new one would be there soon.
And this thought makes my dick diamonds.
The Rose Thread
It's usually around the weekend that it occurs; no matter the season, cultural events, political situation or anything else - there's always that one guy who thinks it's time for it:
"Hey guize, let's talk about rose! I wasn't sure whether I should do it subtly or not, the point is, I need my weekly dose of rose!"
That statement is of course inevitably followed by a minimum of 10 posts of "sage sage sage your sage, saging down the sage", "bad news you guys, its a tarp", "inb4 attention whore spamming". The 'regulars' report in, who knows, maybe martin even has a new and horribly boring video to share.
There are many expressions of dedication, infatuation, obsession and instability you can expect to behold in the coming hours. There's that guy that always posts pictures of Alice Glass. He lives in Ireland, has no problem telling you that and linking you to his arsenal of trite, nauseating fan songs dedicated to rose herself. I think he's called Patrick; while he may be annoying not only to the threads, but to rose herself on youtube, he is comparatively tame.
>waifu
>3D
Why do this to yourself?
>>27986605
You'll agree with that assessment once you witness the vortex of narcissistic drivel that is martin. martin likes to talk about how he thinks he's God, cut himself and show his genitals on the internet; in the little spare time this leaves him, he enjoys playing video games that he's absolutely no good at so he can record his game play and upload the material for the delectation of his "fans" - an audience that has by now shrunken to approximately two (in numbers: 2) people who get some sort of probably sadistic pleasure out of watching martin's mental capacity self-implode at astronomically slow speed. For a time, martin used to be really into the whole rose thing - like a child that feels it isn't given enough attention, he will not hesitate to write small novels about how rose threads were his idea in the first place, how hes the one and only important person in them, how both her fame and downfall were the direct result of his premeditated (years in advance! what an inspiration he is) and conscious actions. He graciously overlooks that his former obsession looks cute, almost healthy in comparison to Brian's
lmao paul at it again
>>27986650
Brian is the archetype of internet adoration that leads to (almost?) criminal infatuation. He is a former navy seal and has 300 confirmed kills; once he stopped working for the government, the skills he gained needed to be put to good use, and he decided to focus them on rose. With surgical accuracy he tracked every last part of her online presence down (well, he thought he did, anyway), and did not fail to document his every thought on the matter meticulously. He traced her, found her full name, and thought it would be a dynamite idea to talk to her. For some reason, no one is exactly sure why, rose didn't reciprocate his interest. She thought it may have been a bit much; even though his offer of 1000$ to her for making and sending him a pornographic video of herself was rather generous, she felt she both had to decline that and request that he stop pursuing her. Brian responded by going into a state of psychosis, spending months afterwards maybe fantasizing, at any rate thinking about raping her and killing himself. In the end, martin didn't think Brian was very cute, and so he gently reminded Brian that his actions may not have been entirely sane. Since then, Brian hasnt been spotted in another rose thread.
>>27986676
But his generosity of spirit lives on in these threads in characters like anon moose. He is a little rascal, combining traits of martin and Brian. moose likes attention a lot, and usually spends his time in rose threads giving out misinformation and lies in order to garner it. His fictions more often than not involve him unraveling the mystery that surrounds rose, uncovering extremely private information about her no one before him has been able to find, and holding sway over her that no one else could hope to have, including anyone and everyone from her private life. The more sober people agree that he is full of shit, considering that he has never contributed a shred of anything at all.
pierre thinks moose is a genius and would like to follow in his footsteps. He enjoys pointing out that he has only been there for about four months and declaring that he should be considered a neutral and objective party for similar reasons. His favorite pastimes include drawing attention to his identity, being neutral like Switzerland and reiterating every single bit of what he considers non-canon information about rose to make sure it disseminates properly.
Pedro at last is an amalgamation of the celebrities mentioned above. His take on rose consists of attraction not limited to physical appearance, suppressed and rarely - but if, then vehemently - expressed sexual desire, and talking about his life, which he feels sucks a big one. He is utterly frustrated that he can't make contact with her, even though he is thoroughly convinced that she wouldn't care about him anyway. He's not sure whether she received the book he sent to what he thinks is her parents' (or at least some close relatives') residence.
>>27986699
Then there is Heaven. He doesn't like any of the guys above. He's been here for years, knows most of what happened and thinks people in rose threads are idiots. Their shenanigans and self-absorption seem distasteful and detrimental to him. He would prefer if rose threads stopped.
Heaven does like Obli though. Obli used to announce his presence by making his first post "obligatory sage.", but he since changed this to making a post with a specific picture entitled "epitome". It's unclear why he is in these threads; he usually spends his time st-stuttering some of his comments, whiteknighting the place up and hinting that he has material he won't share, claiming thats because he was given that material by someone else and doesn't feel entitled to distribute. This enrages some of his fanboys, who mostly also post as Heaven and don't contribute anything to the threads except their groveling begging. They probably don't realize it, but they're feeding obli's ego, who might not have masturbatory thoughts about rose, but probably about "not delivering.
One of obli's friends enjoys posting pictures of Kristen Stewart; this baffles everyone but himself. His interest in these threads is unclear, but he periodically declares that he loves the people they attract. He studies something sciency and likes jogging.
>>27986781
The rest of the people in rose threads are largely insignificant; every now and again, someone from the past shows up, and some new guy will try to mimic the pseudo-cryptic declarations about having unearthed the ultimate rose treasure trove. Let me save you some time and give you a word of warning here: rose threads are a maze of smoke and mirrors. They are filled with trolls, most of whom troll themselves as well as the rest of the thread, and people stroking their ego about being in control over material they will tell you they will not share ever. The rest of the threads consists of beggars, non-rose posters who unsuccessfully try to derail the thread with boxxy, gore and other trash posts, and the (sometimes persistent) deluded ones who tell themselves and anyone who listens that they are going to move close to rose, get into her life and force her to accept them, or otherwise destroy her.
When will this end? No one knows. The crowd changes, but the subject is fixed; she has attracted these people for close to a decade, and there is no shortage of new guys. Soon she will be 30, and may at some point vanish from the internet altogether. Some fear she even may settle down, have a family and be happy. The rose posters will be left with memories that become staler and dimmer, and the feeling that they lost something. And that will be the end of it, and noone will remember anything but loss they felt and a yearning that is left unfulfilled.
>cuck white knight janitor auto-sage the thread once again
