>go to take a shit
>realize there's no toilet paper
>you've already emptied your bowels
what do?
>HARD MODE
You're in public restroom
1. use your underwear to clean your ass.
2. buy new underwear
3.
4.profit.
>>27955808
Wipe using paper towels if available, otherwise sacrifice underwear and go commando.
pull up underpants and grab some paper towels. this has happened to me before. that was a bad day
reminds me of this time i had diahorea when i went camping
>be me, 20, male
>goes camping with the lads
>was ill first day so sat in tent doing little
>2nd day seems fine just a little headache
>does everything with lads, doesn't eat or drink much until night
>gets blind pissed in night, like 13 pints +shots
>goes to bed
>wakes up in middle of night
>stomach furiously rumbles
>oh fuck
>i need a shit
>I NEED A FUCKING SHIT
>I NEED A MASSIVE SHIT WHERE ARE MY SHOES GOD DAMMIT
>OH FUCK IT
>runs out barefoot to look for portaloo in pitch black
>searching forever and forever
>meanwhile i'm touching diahorea cloth like a fucking dam
>FUCK IT
>crouches down like slav
>shits all over the fucking grass
>steps into the grass BAREFOOT
>realises i farted and alerted the whole camp
>runs as fast as i can away from the scene of the crime
>by now i smell like shit and i have shit in the lower part of my body
>finally find portaloo
>shits in portaloo and discards pants after using them as auxilliary toilet roll
>returned to tent
>smell terrible
>wake up the next day mid hangover to find out my friends have guessed the story
>i'm now known as "alpha shitposter" by my mates
>fuck
>>27955808
Don't wipe, never have
I've never had skids, and it just seems like a waste of time
This is exactly why i always carry a few napkins in my wallet. Has literally saved my ass more than a few handfuls of times.
Would highly suggest.
One time this happened and I just took the toilet paper roll itself and unwound it, then peeled apart the layers of cardboard and wet them so they were thin and soft. Then I wiped my ass with that. It'd be difficult to do that in a public restroom without getting caught waddling out with your pants down and a shitty ass though. Guess you'll have to sacrifice a sock and leave the place immediately. Just toss the sock behind the toilet or in the trash if the room is clear and escape the place.
