Advice thread. No self-pity edition.
Hi /r9k/, resident normie here. Post your troubles and woes here and I will try to help you out with whatever advice I can.
>inb4 get of my board REEEEEE
>>27955395
OP can't inb4, normie newfag.
Now, GET OFF MY BOARD RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>27955438
You seem to be rather displeased, friend. What's the matter bro, what's on your mind?
>>27955395
what are your qualifications mr normie
>>27955395
How do I become as deluded about life as you?
>>27955466
I have a gf (and have had several), I have close friends, I go out on a weekly basis with them and I'm currently in uni. I'd say they fulfil the normie criteria.
>>27955468
What makes you say that I'm deluded about life? What exactly do you mean by that bro?
>>27955531
The normal person is deluded about life. That is why they can be happy.
>>27955395
Shaving is shit and I always find a way to cut myself. How do you normies shave so close without knicking yourself?
>>27955600
That's a baseless statement that you have not backed up with any facts or arguments, and your original question is loaded. It's the equivalent of saying "Do your parents know that you're gay?". What's more, you haven't even explained what the supposed delusion is about.
>>27955620
Back when I shaved with a razor I was always just very careful, so shaving took a bit of time but I never managed to cut myself. It's shaving your pubes, you never cut yourself there because you know how precious everything there is so you're always extra careful. Now I have an electric razor though.
I can't seem to be able to connect with anyone and i don't really care about others. How to fix
>>27955679
I'm not sure man. I've been down a lonely path before but I never lost faith, so when I did get the chance to make friends again I managed to seize it and everything worked out alright. I think you might just be out of practice. Keep trying to talk to people and doing your best to make it work until one day it does. You know, fake it until you make it and stuff.
I lost my virginity to a girl that had pity for me and tought my """"jokes"""" are funny. The sex was pretty bad and licking her vajina was disgusting i almost puked and she noticed.
All i want is a gf how to obtain one
Also how to get good licking pussia if im ever going to do it again
>>27955395
I want to be an alpha male. Anyone else feel this feel?
>>27955395
Why isn't Kevin Durant's penis better?
>>27955634
If you weren't an idiot it would be obvious but as you are an idiot there is no point in explaining.
>>27955749
It's a possibility that she just didn't wash her vagina. It's like guys washing their dicks - not everyone knows to do it, and it ends up turning some women off. Don't fret about it, it was just one time, feel free to try it again and see if it works.
Ironically, the best way to get a gf is to not care about getting a gf. These things only happen naturally and girls can smell desperation from a mile off. You need to sorta give up on it, but still have friends and go out and make friends with girls and stuff, until one day you will have something more with a female friend and you two go into a relationship.
Practice makes perfect. I'm pretty average at standard sex but I'm really good at going down on women. If you enjoy it a lot then you'll be more inclined to do it, and you'll get better faster etc. Also, each woman is different, so ask her/figure out what she wants.
>>27955395
>no self-pity
>this board
not on my watch
>>27955758
I did want that, but it's something I know I will never achieve because it's just far too much effort. I've already put in so much to be at the social state I'm in now and I'm honestly happy with where I am, so I see no need to make the effort to change. Sure, I don't play sports for the uni and the entire block doesn't want to chill with me every Friday night, but I have a gf and friends and I frequently go out, so what else do I really need?
>>27955807
That's how he was born, man. Who knows the science behind phallic genetics...
>>27955815
I'm sorry you feel that way, anon.
>>27955875
And yet no-one here has yet so blame their problems on something else. It's weirdly refreshing, that on the board with no reposts we have an original thread.
How do I fix my personality, please help me
>>27955845
Ask her?
"Do you want thus fist in you vagina?"
"Ewww.creep "
That easy huh?
>>27955845
>Ironically, the best way to get a gf is to not care about getting a gf.
>You need to sorta give up on it
Fuck this shit I was like this for years and it made no difference.
Do I give up on it or do I "go for it brah" this shit makes no sense I hate normies REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>27955910
What in particular do you want to fix? Generally you want to save the things you do like about yourself, and for those you don't you just act like you do want to be until it becomes second nature. Again, fake it till you make it.
Ok here's my problem OP I want to fuck your mom buy I don't know who she is. Please give me advice
>>27955920
In the situation where you're having sex with a woman, what are the chances that she'll think you're a creep if you ask what she's into? Like, you're already sleeping together, she's obviously into you, so just ask whatever.
>>27955924
You don't give up per se, you just stop being desperate about it. You should still seize the opportunity if it arises, but it can't be on your mind 24/7. Determination in this case is terrible, you need to just chill and let things play out rather than trying to force them, but that doesn't mean outright reject girls if they're trying to get to know you and stuff.
>>27955942
I'm afraid that your desire can't be fulfilled anon. Even if you did have her location, I doubt you could reach her easily, and even so she almost certainly wouldn't be willing, given that she's happily married.
>>27955938
I guess I wanna fix not having anything to say, what kind of stuff do you find yourself talking about most of the time, don't have many interests atm so it's hard to find a place to start
>>27955395
How do you get motivation or drive? All I do is nothing all day yet I'll occasionally feel like I should be doing stuff but then I either just feel too lazy/don't care enough or I actually to make myself do nothing if I actually really want something. Like I intentionally stop myself so I can feel regret and slightly get a bit more depressed. How do you get drive to not do that mr. norman?
>>27955902
I feel you man. I have nothing to complain about.
I am but a young memester, you have to understand :(
Advice on discerning if a girl is only showing interest becayse of pity or friendship reasons or something more?
>>27955395
I am taking Alprazolam, but I am scared of getting addicted
What do
>>27956001
How do I lose this desire/obsession then?
I've been doing well in a lot of different aspects of my life this year (no longer suicidal, getting fit) but I still crave sex and companionship. I don't even watch porn anymore because it makes me so down that other people are having sex.
Any tips on how to deal with that? I know you're a normie and probably never had to deal with this problem but any advice would be appreciated.
someone ask this faggot about kevin durant's penis yet?
>>27956038
Depression is a bitch, because it paralyses you to not do anything and it's incredibly hard to get yourself out of the cycle. I'd go seek help from an actual doctor about it, since that will actually help you out a lot. Me? I'm notoriously lazy, so I'm not the right person to ask, but I find that actually starting something is the hardest part, and once you start doing something continuing it feels a lot easier and you actually feel good about it.
>>27956050
Perhaps that is your problem, anon. You are on a board where everyone complains about something, yet you have nought to complain about. Is that not itself a tragedy?
How do you get into an Ivy league Law school?
>>27956069
My advice would be to not overthink things and just let things play out. Distrust poisons the mind, so just give her the benefit of the doubt and go be friends with her. However, there is a nice method. If you're always the first on messaging her, you can wait for ages and let her message you first. If she does, then you can be pretty sure that she wants to be friends with you.
>>27956102
Is there at least any way you know of outside of doctors to stop wanting to like make myself worse? like anytime I think anything could go good for me I'll intentionally sabotage it or just force myself not to do it. I apparently can't let myself even have a chance at achieving small stuff. I'm guessing no way outside of doctors though?
>>27956074
I'm not sure, man. I myself am worried about getting addicted to drugs because I love the effects so much. Is it prescribed? Then don't fret, your doctor knows what he's doing, he won't let you get addicted.
>>27956099
Yeah, here
>>27955807
>>27956091
Oh no, man, I've been through the same shit as you. I was a robot once and I only lost my virginity at 19 - my entire time at school I never even got to talk to a girl, with some very few exceptions. I honestly just gave up on it, and I fulfilled my sexual urges through an unhealthy amount of porn. I never felt bad about people in porn, so I'm not too sure about how to deal with your issue there, I'm afraid. Do you have friends or anything?
>>27956198
>Is it prescribed?
Yes and I have to tell my doctor every time I use them
I am currently at a mental day hospital
>>27956145
Be very smart, get good grades, do a lot of extra-curricular activities and, if you have any unusual features (e.g. same-sex parents, are native american), use them to your advantage.
>>27956182
I don't really know of any healthy ways, I'm afraid. What I ended up having when I was going through my depressed phase was I ended running out of my parents' place and edging myself on 7th storey window until the police were called. Then I just let everything out and started seeing some and eventually ended up getting better. It wasn't even the doctor that helped, it was the whole breaking down experience, and you might need something major to snap you out of it. Do you have any close friends or anything of the sort?
Stop replying to these bait threads you FILTHY retarded Newfags.
>>27956251
Then it's even more heavily monitored. Don't worry, you won't get addicted, they wouldn't be giving it to you if they're just swapping one evil for another.
>>27956247
Porn isn't really an issue for me, I'm glad I have something to turn me away from it.
I don't have friends in my area, they all live 45 minutes away. I get along well with my coworkers though (all female) and have hung out with them a couple times outside of work.
I'm planning a move out of my parents house in a couple months to start over in a new city. I'm hoping that I can get a fresh start and be my own person.
How did you go from giving up on girls to finding a gf? Like how did you meet her. I like hearing stories about how couples met because it gives me a better idea of how to go from meeting to dating, a step I can't seem to comprehend or even imagine.
>>27956198
yeah thanks, i didn't expect you to know. there's a new guy in here every day claiming to be a normie and yet can't answer a simple question about kevin durant's penis.
>>27956328
But anon, it's just one thread, and everyone here gets something nice out of it. Come join us, talk about yourself, it'll be nice and fun(:
>>27956323
>do you have any close friends or anything
Tbh I've never really felt close to anyone to be able to actually talk outside of small talk. I'll most likely practice socializing on omegle desu. Or just go to like a doctor or something I guess if that fails.
>>27956118
No, not really.
4 years ago I found this place while searching the source of memes. This was like the promised land. And this place delivered.
Come to think, I don't know why I keep coming back.
I think it's because people here are interesting and not afraid to speak their mind. That's a rare gift these days when everything is censored to not hurt feelings.
This place is freedom, anon. The only risk is that you'll go insane.
Is it worth it to spend a year working a shitty job before I enter university to spend ~20k $ on plastic surgeries? If so, which ones? I have a fucked up weak jaw and recessed chin.
>>27956351
The way I like to think about it is that gfs are just close female friends that you end up getting even closer with. You shouldn't give up on being friends with girls, you should still talk to them and be friends, and if you're lucky it might get closer and have something. Though what do I know, most of my relationships started off as casual flings that ended up blossoming into more because we got along really well, so I haven't really ever broken the friend barrier as much as I never had to deal with it.
>>27956091
Different guy here, I think there's a misconception about being "desperate". You can be desperately horny all you want, in fact you should use that energy to your advantage, push yourself a little more to get out there and talk to women and shit. Use that as the carrot on the stick and acknowledge that you're just out to get laid, I shit you not no one will judge you harshly for that.
The key, and the big distinction here, is not to focus all your energy on one girl for too long. Don't fall in love and get obsessed is all. You kind of need to objectify women just a little bit in order to get your head out of your ass about the whole situation.
I'm in the same boat, I've got my life mostly together now but the sex and companionship thing is still an obstacle for me. Just use that energy and don't get too attached to any one girl, and just accept that it's gonna take some time. It fucking sucks and you're gonna be sexually frustrated for a while, but that's just how it is. That doesn't turn you into pussy repellant, it just makes you slightly awkward when you talk to girls (I mean I'm just guessing here), and most girls are fine with that despite what /r9k/ would have you believe.
>>27956434
>most of my relationships started off as casual flings
Then why suggest taking the next step with a female friend?
I don't have a problem being friends with a girl because it's a different perspective and they have friends too, but casual fling -> relationship would be ideal.
But a relationship isn't the only thing I want, I would be fine with physical contact too, anything to make me feel desirable because I've gone so long without the feeling.
>>27956354
How dare he. Doesn't he know anything?
>>27956387
Hahaha, that's pretty much what I did too. I found some girl and I ended up getting along really well so we because really close online friends. We've sent each other over 12,000 messages on facebook alone, and perhaps that's what you need too, to find someone to chat to just about deep shit. Although someone from Omegle kinda sent me into my depression in the first place, so I imagine it can't have helped.
>>27955395
I don't like things
I want to die but I promised not to kill myself
what should I do?
>>27956388
I guess that's one way to think about it, but at the same time there is a very distinct /r9k/ mentality that I don't think I like.
>>27956395
If that's what you want, go for it, anon. Taking a gap year is completely fine, and I'm not sure what you would need, that's for you to decide.
>>27956488
Because that's how I ended up losing my virginity. I was close friends with this girl for half a year, until one day she broke up with her bf, and a few weeks after that we ended up getting drinks, getting drunk and fucking. Actually, Tinder works wonderfully for that - I've had a casual fuck-buddy thing with someone from there on it AND I met my current gf on there, so those were a fun three weeks. If you want a casual fling then you might want to go for that.
>>27956471
OP here, this guy formulated it a lot better than I could.
>>27956521
Try to find something you like, anon. Or talk to someone about your problems.
>>27956581
Tried tinder, get very few matches.
>>27956581
>go on tinder
>match with absolutely no one
>literally run out of girls to match with
Thanks anon.
>>27956605
Could I see your pictures and/or bio? Perhaps you're turning women off with them? Alternatively, if you're desperate enough, you may want to downgrade and find uglier women. Also, what's your standard opening?
>>27956627
There are too many factors for me to make a statement about that. Perhaps you have terrible photos, or you didn't put up a bio, or you live in Iceland, where no-one really uses Tinder, or whatever. You need to be more explicit with what's going on.
>>27956632
I don't really have good openers and my pictures are hit or miss.
I'm gonna try Tinder again when I've lost another 15 pounds and can take better pictures.
>>27956711
Go for it, man. Best of luck to you.
As with openers, I find that tailored pick-up lines are a nice ice-breaker, but whatever works for you.
>>27955395
I'd rather take advice from a sucessful robot than a failed normalfag like yourself
>>27956757
I'd hardly call myself a failed normalfag, but whatever rocks your boat man. Do as you will, it's your life(:
How do I stop feeling immensely inferior because of my small dick?
>>27956796
Women don't really care all that much about it. If you're at the stage where the girl likes you so much that she wants to fuck you, she won't be turned off by the size of your dick.
>>27956852
>she won't be turned off by the size of your dick
>>27956862
It's kinda like boob size. Most men don't really care about it, but some women feel very insecure about it anyway.
>>27956852
>Women don't really care all that much about it. If you're at the stage where the girl likes you so much that she wants to fuck you, she won't be turned off by the size of your dick.
When will this meme end? They care, if they didn't "small dick" wouldn't be an insult.
>>27956903
Not really, they literally see you less of a man if you have a small dick.
>>27957082
Flatchested is also an insult. A few women don't like it, sure, but it's much less of a deal than you make it out to be.
Alright anons, my flatmate has a birthday party coming up and I'm off to celebrate it. Cya guys later.
>>27955395
I can't even get a minimum wage job. I'm applying everywhere I can think of and haven't gotten a single call back. I desperately need money and I don't care if it's shitty
>>27956604
I wasn't really accurate
I like things, I just hate them more than I like them
