Heyyo guys! As the title indeed suggests, I'm drunk as fuck. While under the influence of alcohol, I've one on many adventures (referring to today alone). The first thing I did was go for a walk. Now, this may surprise you, but an elderly woman saw me while I was walking. The incident that followed was indeed rather embarrassing. In fact, I wrote a poem (or perhaps just a collection of words) immediately after the experience. Here it is:
Holy fucking shit
Oh fuck
Good lord
Someone has seen me
Being erratic
While under the influence of alcohol
Whatever though
It certainly won't matter by the time
I'm sober
Because alcohol transports me to a
Realm where consequences are
Nonexistent.
I was walking down a garden path
I presume I was stumbling to a degree
When a picked up a stick lying at my feet
Which I quickly used as a walking stick
After walking some 10 paces
I decided to break the stick over my knee
This decision reflected my life decisions
(At least according my intoxicated self)
After which a woman saw me, and gave me the most queer of glances.
Also, I sent a picture of my penis to my ex-girlfriend. Here it is:
>>27945090
IT WAS INDEED A VERY GOOD TIME
I WILL ONCE AGAIN ASSERT: IT WAS A VERY GOOD TIME INDEED
I DONT EVEN FEEL ASHAMED OF THE FACT THAT I SENT MY EX-GIRLFRIEND A PICTURE OF MY DICK, IN FACT, SHE SHOULD VERY MUCH ENJOY IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, /r9k/ SHE WAS A TOTAL SLUT. EVERYBODY KNEW HER AS THE TOWN WHORE. I DIDNT EVEN LOVE HER, I JUST WANTED TO GET MY DICK WET. SHE USED TO FINGER HER BEST FRIEND WHEN THEY GOT DRUNK TOGETHER - SOMETHING SHE ADMITTED TO ME MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. GOOD LORD SHE WAS A SLUT - AND GUESS WHAT? I ENJOYED IT IMMENSELY.
>>27945090
>not being able to handle your alcohol
>>27945180
i can handle my alcohol but i can also choose to be completely fucked up if i want to
>>27945090
Post more pictures of your penis here, please.
It's bretty nice.
>>27945167
/r9k/, I COME TO THEE WITH A QUESTION, ONE WHICH I POSE TO ALL YOU CUNTS READING THIS CURRENTLY. DO YOU LIKE MY PENIS? NOT IN A GAY WAY, OF COURSE, BUT RATHER, IN AN OBJECTIVE SENSE.
HERE'S A TANGENTAL SUBJECT: YOU KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO TONIGHT? I WILL SNEAK INTO THE OLD ABANDONED HOSPITAL JUST LIKE I DID (WHILE ACCOMPANIED BY FRIENDS) IN 2015. WHAT A JOLLY GOOD TIME THAT WAS, INDEED. PRESUMABLY, NOTHING PARTICULARLY EXCITING WILL HAPPEN, RATHER, I WILL END UP WANKING AT THE TOP FLOOR. THAT's RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHILE 30 STORIES HIGH IN THE AIR, I WILL INDEED BUST A NUT! WHAT WILL I BE THINKING OF? WHY, OF COURSE, MY EX-GIRLFRIEND'S BEAUTIFUL FAT ASS!
>>27945090
>Also, I sent a picture of my penis to my ex-girlfriend. Here it is:
>>27945180
I CAN INDEED HANDLE MY ALCOHOL, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IVE CONSUMED RATHER A LOT. IN FACT, IVE DRUNK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF 700ML OF 37.5% ALCOHOL VODKA; A FEAT OF WHICH TO BE VERY PROUD.
>>27945090
Guys with above average penises can't be robot
>>27945243
THANK YOU, FRIEND, IT IS RATHER LARGE WHEN FULLY ERECT (WHICH IT ISNT IN THAT PICTURE. THE EX-GIRLFRIEND OF WHOM I SPEAK REFEREED TO IS AS A "HORSECOCK"! PERHAPS A LITTLE WEIRD, I ADMIT, AS IT IS ONLY 7.5x 5.5 INCHES.
>>27945310
THAT'S A BIT WEIRD, MY DUDE. WHILE MY PENIS MAY INDEED BE ABOVE AVERAGE, I AM AS MUCH OF A ROBOT AS ANYONE ELSE HERE ON THIS BOARD (PERHAPS EVEN MORE SO, HHHHMMM?).
>>27945366
How do you find out about this website and how are this place interesting for you ? What's with facebook ? Is it down now ? You look normal and not 4chan type.
>>27945445
That's not weird. Big penis is the only key for confidence, and if you're confident, you're not a robot. And if you're not a robot, i don't see how you can have any sort of fun by being here.
>>27945488
I DUNNO ABOUT THAT, I MEAN, SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT MY DICK AND WONDER IF IT WILL PERFORM AS WELL AS I EXPECT IT TO. I MEAN, IF I TELL A GIRL ABOUT ITS SIZE, AND I GET HER INTO BED, WHAT WILL I DO IF IT DOESNT ACHEIVE ITS FULL SIZE? THEN I WILL BE RUINED.
I hated you at first op but after reading through thread ur alright
>>27945454
I'VE BEEN GOING ON 4CHAN SINCE APPROXIMATELY 2008. I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT I AM A ROBOT, ESPECIALLY GIVEN MY PHENOMINAL SELF-HATRED AND INABILITY TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE. YOU KNOW THAT INITIAL LINE FROM THE FILM "AMERICAN PSYCHO", WHERE PATRICK BATEMAN SAYS: "THERE IS NO PATRICK BATEMAN, ONLY AN IDEA OF PATRICK BATEMAN"? ITS A BIT LIKE THAT FOR ME. NO GIRL HAS EVER BEEN SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO ME, ONLY THE IMAGE I PRESENT OF MYSELF TO SEEM "NORMAL". IN FACT, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM. PERHAPS IN THE ABSENCE OF A TRUE SELF, I BECOME WHA OTHERS PERCEIVE OF ME?
Bump.
Original comment, I swear on my life.
>>27945635
Philosophical as fuck.
>>27945635
But how ? Just whip out that dick or tell them your size or just send dick pics, they'd be into you sexually. That's how girls' minds work i think.
>>27945786
HONESTLY, I THINK IT MIGHT COME TO THAT. IM CLOSE TO JUST SENDING DICK PICS TO GIRLS ON SNAPCHAT (LIKE I JUST DID TO MY EX) IN AN EFFORT TO ATTAIN PUSSY.
>>27945273
IF (FOR SOME MAGICAL REASON) SHE RESPONDS POSITIVELY AND ASKS ME TO COME OVER TO HER HOUSE AND FUCK, I WILL TAKE A PICTURE OF THE AFTERMATH. PERHAPS MY DICK ACROSS HER CUM-COVERED ASS, MAYBE EVEN A PICTURE OF ME FUCKING HER DOGGY STYLE WHILE PULLING HER HAIR. EITHER WAY, IF THIS EFFORT GOES WELL, I SHALL REWARD THE GOOD PEOPLE OF /r9k/ WITH PICTURES.
>>27945901
Lol fuck off, Chad, go back to normiebook
>>27945939
NAH, NOT A CHAD AT ALL.
>>27945980
How ? You had a gf and you're gonna fuck her like it's not big deal. How is that not chad material ?
>>27945635
Yeah dude. We are social creatures. We are only what others think we are based off of our interactions with them. If you act like a rational sensible person, whats the difference? The only problem is when you straight up lie to create a persona.
>>27946032
I WILL TELL YOU AN EXPERIENCE I HAD WITH A REAL CHAD. THE DETAILS ARE FUZZY, BUT IT ILLUSTRATES MY POINT NONETHELESS. I WAS GETTING CHANGED IN THE LOCKED ROOM WITH AROUND 7 OTHER GUYS. ONE OF WHOM WAS A REAL CHAD. AND IM TALKING REAL CHAD. THIS GUY WAS 6ft 3 AND GORGEOUS, WHILE IM ONLY 5ft 10. WE WERE GETTING CHANGED AFTER PLAYING FOOTBALL, AND SOMEHOW THE CONVERSATION COMES TO TALKING ABOUT GIRLS. THIS PARTICULAR CHAD SAYS (SOMEWHAT SARCASTICALLY) "YEAH, ANON GETS ALL THE BITCHES", TO WHICH I RESPONDED "FUCK OFF, PRINCE CHARMING, WE CANT ALL HAVE YOU CHEEK BONES" (TO WHICH THE OTHERS IN THE SPORTS CHANGEROOM LAUGHED). ANYWAY, THE FACT THAT THIS TURBO-CHAD DIDNT SEE ME AS HIS EQUAL PROVES MY POINT, AS CHADS INAVARIABLY RECOGNISE OTHER CHADS.
>>27946088
THE WEIRD THING IS THAT IM NOT SURE IF ITS A SCARY OR REASSURING NOTION. I MEAN, ON THE ONE HAND I CAN PULL BITCHES WHILE NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT HOW I AM AS A REAL PERSON, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, NO GIRL WILL EVER LOVE ME FOR WHO I REALLY AM. HOWEVER, THIS GETS EVEN MORE CONFUSING, AS I SOMETIMES WONDER IF FEMALES CAN EVEN LOVE ANOTHER PERSON AS I DO (OR AS MALES DO IN GENERAL).
DO I HONESTLY SEEM LIKE A CHAD TO YOU GUYS? HERE'S A PICTURE TAKEN OF ME AT A PARTY 2 DAYS AGO FOR REFERENCE. IT WAS TAKEN BY A FRIEND AND LATER SENT TO ME VIA SNAPCHAT.
>>27946282
BUMP! I NEED ANSWERS.
>>27946557
Maybe a little. More benis pls
>>27946557
Yes
It's fucking orijinaru
>>27946282
>PARTY
yes
>>27945445
You have an ex-girlfriend, faggot. You are a defacto normie.
>>27945090
pencil dicked gronk
