>love chocolate pretzels
>try to make my own
>wind up with disgusting, greasy abomination
Why is it so hard, lads?
Literally looks like shit
How did you melt it?
OP its not that hard.
>go to grocery store
>buy the large chunks of any chocolate you want if they have, if not just get bars of the chocolate you want
>when you come home break up the chocolate and put it in a bowl you can put in microwave
>melt chocolate, opening the microwave periodically to mix the chocolate and ensure no burning occurs at the bottom
>when done, enjoy
also. pic related just looks like shit, how can chocolate look so greasy
Double boiler, friend. You can't put chocolate in a microwave for too long or it gets grainy and shitty.
>>27939296
Poop pretzels from Mallrats
>>27939340
I melted it in the microwave, with milk and sugar
>>27939364
I have no idea, the texture isn't even like chocolate anymore
>>27939389
no bully, pls
origincalmment
>>27939296
Melting and setting chocolate is the hardest thing you can do in basic candy-making.
Get yourself some candy "chocolate" melting stuff and have a blast.
Or:
In a double boiler bring your chocolate up above 115 or so then kill the heat and toss in some pretty, shiny chocolate to seed the crystals. Stir a lot and when it gets down to the high 80s it should be ready. Test with a smear: it should set brown with no fat swirls or anything.
Don't add things like sugar or cream to your chocolate if you want it to set nice because it will lose temper and also seize.
Arrange all your little pretzels in a try lined with parchment and dump the tempered chocolate on top. Voila.
>>27939411
trying to add milk and sugar will make the chocolate fall apart. it's a fragile suspension. never do that unless you're making chocolate. and then you use cocoa butter which is very different from milk fat. christ man.
Yea dude Google these things before hand. One of the few perks of femanpns on the Internet is a recipe and video to make anything
>>27939296
you need to add lard or shortening
>>27939469
Ew goddamn
>>27939296
Use cooking chocolate fool, it sets much nicer
>>27940716
I ate it, and promptly vomited
>>27939411
yeah adding the milk and sugar was no bueno.
just melt chocolate by itself next time pls
>>27941021
that was actually shit, wasn't it?
>microwave
man you're retarded hahaaa fuck 777
Your chocolate bloomed because you burned it like a retard.
Next time low heat, slow and steady does it. God your retarded.
Also don't let water touch the chocolate while its melting either.
alright anon let me give you a tip
here's how I make chocolate sauce quick n easy
take a glass ramekin like this, fill it up about half way with chocolate chips and then pour enough cream over it for it to almost cover the chips but not quite. put it in the microwave on high for 15 seconds and then take it out. the cream should be a little brown but the chips will still have their form. take a spoon or fork and quickly stir/whisk the mixture and the chocolate chips should start to break up and it'll turn a darker brown. I do this to put on French toast desu
>>27939296
OP you have succeeded in creating artificial caviar
They sell cups of chocolate specifically made for microwaving and dipping things in. Try and find some of that.
Okay fine, maybe I am just retarded.
Goodnight /r9k/
>>27939296
my fucking sides holy shitasg
>>27939411
use a double boiler, did and let rest on cooling grate.
>>27942830
Yeah, was just trying to use what I had on hand though
>>27939365
This
>>27939296
You melt it slowly, you retard, or you add it to hot milk.
> chocolate
> not almond bark
> pretzels
> not Ritz crackers with peanut butter
Wait till your father gets home Anon and sees what a fuckup you've become
Kek
You're more retarded than the guy that made the hideous pizza
