So robots, rate my joke college application. This is just the beginning, it's a work in progress. I decided yo send it because my dad told me to at least try going to college, so here's my application to Harvard University.
Listen here you old fucks.
Most believe you to be an establishment of integrity and higher enlightenment. In all honesty, you only take in the social elites, knowing their future success, to keep up a facade of honor. Really, your representation pillars on the fact that your students are successful, if they ended up methheads whose assholes are turned into Hiroshima by Big Bubba in prison, you would be begging me to attend your school. Here's your challenge, turn my fat, lazy, stoned, stupid, lustful, unmotivated ass into a better person, THAT would be a fucking educational achievement.
But I digress, this is an application letter, so I'll express myself in a pseudo-FAQ manner.
"So Anon, you sexy beast, tell me about yourself."
Well, you old, crusty, rich, most likely white and/or bald gentleman, I was born on October 19, 1992 under a triple rainbow in the glorious and pristine Anonville, Kentucky; a truly lovely town inhabited by kind people. I was born illegitimately in a loving relationship between Pol Pot and Selena Gomez, however I was giving to Dad "Mid" Anon and Mom Mid Anon. Growing up I had many hobbies; such as sitting on my ass, smoking pot, beating my meat like it owes me money, rewatching Bill and Ted, and listening to kick ass music. As I grew older I obtained new skills, such ass cooking, technology, and karate in which I'm a 69th degree black belt. Some things I find interesting are goth girls (as they are good for people who like dark women but are afraid of minorities) independent art, video games, satanic rituals, and studying history. Personally, I like history and geography, as they are easy to study and put perceptions on daily life. (A little bit more in the thread.)
>>27936966
For example, why did George Bush Sr get a promotion in the CIA within days of John F Kennedy's assassination? These are the questions I like contemplating. I have been described as 'dragon-slaying handsome' and 'the motherfunking beast.' However, if you want to know more of who I am as a person I suggest meeting me.
"Anon, why are you intrested in Harvard?"
Why are you interested in me? You see, I couldn't give a rat's left asscheck about Harvard, I'm only applying as so you could feel luckily to know of my presence. If you accept me, I might come I might not.
That's all I have so far. Can't wait for the rejection letter.
Can you not be a dickhead and waste people's time? This isn't funny, just you being an immature edgy piece of shit. Seriously, grow up you manchild.
>>27936966
>Selena Gomez joke
>I was giving to
>such ass cooking
>people who like dark women but are afraid of minorities
this joke only works if reformatted so there's a twist
This is not very funny, and was not particularly well written.
>>27936966
kek. dont listen to that other no fun faggot
>>27936966
>put perceptions on daily life.
You may mean perspective?
"perceptions on daily life" doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
>>27937060
>Complaining about time wasting edgy manchilderen
What the hell are you doing on this site than? I mean, we are the site that popularized trolling and Anonymous.
>>27937010
>These are the questions I like contemplating
You listed a single question, also, you already signify that you like to contemplate that shit with your "perceptions on daily life" intro.
>>27937060
>This isn't funny
See, I'm mad at OP because it could be funny.
I like to send pictures of penises into credit card companies, much like the banks that send out high-interest credit card offers to my impoverished Mexican neighborhood, most universities are entirely staffed by blood sucking soulless cunts who need to be first against the wall when the day of the rope comes.
OP's just not very proficient at writing or entertaining, and might actually benefit greatly from an English 1010 course.
If you're just going for edge though, and you want to be willfully ignorant, you'll really have to punch that up. Maybe be more direct in your insults- reference actual Harvard graduates that have done shameful things.
>>27936966
I don't get it. Where's the joke part?
Or do you just have a worse sense of humour than a woman?
They're probably just going to call you out for writing like a 12 year old and say you're too young to apply.
you guys realize that the person at harvard is going to read one sentence and then throw OPs application folder into the trash bin right? You think harvard gives a shit enough to even read it?
>>27936966
They wouldn't care
>>27936966
this isn't funny at all but i'd send it just to see whether they reply
>Listen here you old fucks.
stopped reading here
>>27936966
I really hope the time you spent writing that is worth the 5 minutes of attention it will receive here,
Oh wait you had to spread it across two posts? I rate your application 0/10
