how to buy condoms?
what size?
wont the cashier laugh at me?
The cashier isn't going to laugh at you. She/he probably wouldn't laugh at you even if you were visibly nervous. If it really makes you feel better, you should buy a drink or something along with them.
The Trojan Magnum condoms are a pretty good normie brand of condom, and there isn't much of a size difference between them and the normal sized condoms. Unless you're below average, you'll probably find that Magnums fit better and feel more snug.
>>27936671
cashier doesn't give a shit about it
>>27936717
Where do you buy them at?
>>27936671
>thinks he will get laughed at for getting laid
I work in a pharmacy. I ring guys out for their ED prescriptions on the daily. Want to know what I think about these guys? I think they are awesome for being old, having a broken dick and STILL managing to get pussy all the same. Nobody fucking cares.
>>27936671
They still have cashiers where you live? Do you live in the third world?
>>27936809
Drugstore/Pharmacy
you can also order a big box of them online if you really don't want to go to the store to get them.
But trust me, nobody gives a fuck. I've had to talk to an attendant for like 2 minutes because a self-service thing wasn't working, she was a nice old lady, didn't even comment on the fact I was buying a 50 box of featherlite durex.
Remember, if YOU don't spill your spaghetti, you can often get out of or avoid awkward situations.
It will go pretty much like this.
>wont the cashier laugh at me?
Yes. When an obvious autist buys condoms or lubricant, I ask them for ID. I say it's company policy.
They're too beta to cause a scene over condoms so they always go back to their car to get their ID (for some reason autists never have it on them). Sometimes they just drive away.
>>27936671
Buy them online you sperg.
>>27937264
What would an autist need condoms for in the first place?
>>27936671
HA HA YOU HAVE A PENIS AND USE IT FOR SEX AND DON'T WANT TO GET STDS
>he uses condoms
have fun going soft mid sex because you can't feel shit thanks to the latex jew
Condoms are pure cuckoldry. The woman gets all the pleasure, the man gets none. Just another scheme to further remove the modern man from his natural state, making him even more depressed and bringing still more profits to the corporations
>>27937042
>penis
>not benis :DDDD
What the fuck is this shit
>>27939048
Yeah, but on the other hand having a kid is also cuckoldry these days. Oh, having a vasectomy is pure cuckoldry as well. And let's not even mention the greatest cuckoldry of all, the pill.
>>27939100
>and let's not even mention the greatest cuckoldry of all, the pill
Yeah but the pill is only cuckoldry for the female, why should i care
>>27939130
Until she completely unintentionally forgets to take it, that is.
>>27936671
Op I'm going to say this once so read carefully.
If you're too embarrassed to buy condoms, you'll be too embarrassed to have sex.
>>27939048
>you can't feel shit thanks to the latex jew
Are you cut?
>>27939171
>Things that never happen, the post.
Why would you even put your penis inside a non-career woman?
>>27936717
all condoms are normie
what kind of comment is that jesus
>>27939048
>cut
>used condom the first (and only) time I had sex
>literally and unironically did not feel a fucking thing
>couldn't even tell there something around my dick
Was a really dissapointing experience if I have to be honest.
>>27936671
>how to buy condoms?
I bought mine at a local gas station
>what size?
Trojan ecstasy and magnum are good
>wont the cashier laugh at me?
Mine didn't. If yours does, they're a dick.
>>27939048
>The woman gets all the pleasure
Condoms turn any dick into a cut dick.
Uncut dick feels better for her than cut dick.
>>27936671
Be thankful, years ago they were kept behind the pharmacy counter and you had to ask for them.
>>27936671
Go to the store with money
Any size, it doesn't matter*
The cashier doesnt give a shit and just wants their shift to end
*Only applies to America. FDA highly regulates condom size here and there is only a small range of condoms that can be legally produced. Main difference is length, but even the XL are usually only ~5-6in. If your dick is shorter than 5.5" you MIGHT need to do some research here. If your dick is thicker than 7" the condom is going to hurt to wear and you have to order from a countey without retarded laws or risk it breaking
Cashiers only care if you're a dick about it like "hey man check out all these condoms i'm gonna use for sex later."
>>27936671
>how to buy condoms?
Buy them online
>what size?
Average. Statistically speaking you aren't special so most will do.
>wont the cashier laugh at me?
Who? Why care?
>>27940682
American regulations for girth are pretty dumb. I'm 5.75 and find most to be constricting. Guys who are bigger have been known to buy them online from europe.
Will condoms make me last longer?
>>27939911
Years ago the Church invented bbt and forced their followers into celibacy as a means of control
The cashier literally does not care.
>>27936671
People are buying condoms all day in drug stores, nobody is going to laugh at you.
>>27942812
can confirm, girlfriend is celibate:(
>>27944183
you're a lucky man
>>27944501
Having a girlfriend without sex is like ordering food and not eating it.
>>27944526
Enjoy your slutty girlfriend that will cheat on you.
>>27936671
in high school i used to put "used" (not sex, would just whack off in them 2bh lads) condoms around in the hallways and in random desks and stuff. to get them i would just steal a few single condom packets from out of a box. it's pretty easy to do if they keep the boxes out in the open like that.
>>27944526
you don't understand, having a celibate gf is a big fantasy of mine.
Just by the most basic looking pack. Like 3 inside. They stretch cause rubber. Dont put it on like a sock for gods sake.
>>27944618
>like a sock
>>27939263
Wait, so being cut is why condoms suck ass?
>>27944658
Condoms sucking ass is why condoms suck ass, I'm uncut and they still suck.
>>27946409
I'm cut and they were fine. There was a difference obviously but it wasn't too major
>>27946444
The difference isn't as bad for you because some functions have literally been removed from you. Wearing a condom is like being cut.
>>27939048
>wanting disgusting cunt fluid all over your dick
>wanting aids
you're a disgusting freak
>>27939070
also
>fuc
>not fug :-DDD
Reddit-tier comic desu
>>27939070
>>27947614
>not realizing that this comic is one of the oldest spurdo comics and came before all that other stuff
get
the
fuck
out
>>27944183
>[current year]
>celebate girl
Sorry to burst your bubble but she has probably been fucking a chad behind your back all this time and using you for betabux
Lets say, hypothetically of course, i have the chance at a gf and maybe even sex.
Is it weird to buy some condoms now to 'practice' how to even use the damn things? Has anyone done that?
I-i just don't want to screw something up.
>>27948942
ive done it, i realized that regular sized condoms dont fit my dick so i had to get bigger ones
still a virgin doe
>>27936671
self-checkout machines cannot laugh
I remember the first time i bought condoms. I was 23 years old and i was with my gf at Walmart. We were buying materials for a bbq, we were goin to have later that week . We went to pharmacy section and we got magnums. I don't have a big dick, however, i have girth. We went to the cashier and he just snared at me with my gf next to me as she bought them.
>>27936671
>>27936717
Any suggestions for us on the below average side (4.5 x 5) ?
Apart from trapping or killing ourselves, I meant brands/size.
Here's another question; How many should you buy? I mean, how many come in a pack and do they last?
>>27936671
buy condoms online if its such a problem
>>27936671
> Buy 4 different packs of condoms to masturbate with
> All of them are too small
>>27936671
>needing condoms
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>snag a free condom at the University drs (they have free ones sitting there)
>horny at even the smell of it as I'm ready to use it for jerking it
>made for fucking chinks or something because my dick hurt when it was on and I could hardly get it off
Is this normal?
If I am 6 length 5.5 girth what size do I get?
>>27949772
xtra small
>>27937780
Waterbaloon figt maybe ?!
>>27949772
>6x5.5
jesus fuck anon, is your dick a fucking square wth?
When I started buying condoms regularly, they knew at the store I had got a gf. And when I stopped buying them, they knew we had broken up.
>be 17, just achieved getting my first gf a few weeks earlier
>family goes on vacation one weekend so I have the house to myself
>invite gf over for sex, since we seldom got a chance to be alone
>she convinces me to go with her to get condoms even though I try telling her that I'm not a damp retard and can pull out
>pull up to the gas station up the road from us
>Thursday night and business is slow, only cashier working there is ~21 year old chad outside smoking a cigarette
>meets our eyes as we sit in the car arguing about who has to go in and get them
>of course I get blackmailed into having to do it
>cashier follows me in to ring up whatever I'm buying
>fuck me
>awkwardly walk over to the condom section and just grab a pack really quick
>he sees this and gets this big smug smirk on his face, looks exactly like smug pepe
>I throw the pack onto the desk and fumble getting the money out of my pocket, drop all my spaghetti
>he chuckles
>hand him the money, he asks me if I want a bag, all patronizingly
>say no, he hands me the box
>I stutter out t-thanks
>he's still smurking
>as I walk back to the car he follows me out of the store
>watches me get into the car and says "have fun." and winks as I close the door
Fuck, it was one of the most awkward moments of my life. I wanted to kill him. Worth it though, got so much qt PTP that weekend. Used up that whole pack that night, say I didn't have enough money to get more, qt gf couldn't resist having more sex and let me bareback it for the rest of the weekend. Feelsgoodman.
>>27949873
You do know girth is the distance around the penis not the actual width of it right?
>>27949881
He wasn't being smug you retard, he was thinking 'get in there son'. You've never known a friend was about to score and wanted to applaud him?
>Unsure about what condom to buy
>Go into condom calculator, let it pick size for me
>Magnum XL, My Size 69, Female Condom
>I'm only packing like 7.5x5.5 for the shaft
Jesus fuck why, they don't even sell those at the local stores. Fuck you, Aus delivery tax.
>>27949042
Same. The ring constricted all of the blood and I lost my erection pretty much instantly.
