Hello, /r9k/!
I made this thread last night and talked to some really nice people, so I'm going to make it again since I am bored and lonesome.
Does anyone here have an imaginary friend? Tulpas count, too.
I have an imaginary sister, she looks like Daisy Ridley but has a personality I've come up with myself. I talk to her all the time, like to explain vidya to her while I play, and I imagine we are snuggling at night.
Anyone else have a similar friend/person? Tell me about them.
I do. I already told you about them.
I'm just here because I really really liked last night's thread.
>>27921968
Awesome, I really appreciate you stopping by man.
You say them, so I am going to guess you are the guy with a harem of anime girls in his dreams?
>>27922008
No that's not me.
I'm the dougposter
>>27922031
Ah, sorry. I do remember you though, I was just going off you saying "them".
How are you? How is Doug?
>>27922058
We're good. Driving was scary today but we talked ourselves through it.
>>27922117
I'm glad to hear you're doing alright. Does Doug get scared in the car? I know my dogs love car rides.
>>27922058
>>27922008
>>27921560
Holy Shit, chestlets are truly disgusting creatures
>>27922159
I disagree, I think Daisy is very beautiful but you're entitled to your opinion pham.
>>27922137
No it was just really snowy out and I thought I was gonna crash.
>>27922186
Snowy in April? Do you live in the Midwest? Or are you a Canadian friend?
>>27922215
I'm in the western united states. We had a freak snow storm that made the roads just terrible.
>>27922236
Huh, that's pretty bizarre. Glad you both made it through just fine.
Here in the Midwest it snows pretty late, but usually stops around late March.
>>27921560
How you doing daisyfriend?
I remember talking to you a few nights ago.
>>27922259
>you both
Heh that made my heart jump. Still not used to speaking of this.
>>27922274
I'm doing alright, how about you? Which thread was I talking to you in? I'm sure I'll remember.
>>27922283
That's understandable, I mean, have you ever told someone about Doug before?
I guess I'm just used to it since I've talked about Daisy on here fairly often.
>>27922323
Only once before.
I mean in reality I look totally sane. I have a job and an apartmentand everything. It's just that on the inside I'm still a child.
>>27922289
The one the other night about imaginary girls/friends.
I talked to you about how I fantasized about having a group of friends in high school that I did stuff with.
>>27922350
Who did you tell, if you don't mind my asking?
I can relate though. Although I've never told anyone in real life, I appear a totally normal college student, just secretly have a pretend sister.
>>27922351
Right, and you grew up in Washington and you like to imagine that you guys would hang out on the old wooden pier. How are you friend?
>>27922384
An internet friend of mine. He didn't think i was crazy. I still think I'm absolutely batshit
>>27922413
I don't think you're crazy either. Real crazies tend to not be functional, can't hold a job, can't get an education, don't appear normal to others. I assume you come off as normal in person, maybe shy and awkward like other robots, but still normal. You're a functional person, and the fact you have the self awareness to even consider this one aspect of you weird, shows you aren't crazy.
>>27922448
I guess so. In the end it's justa coping mechanism to deal with the world. And it works. It really does.
>>27922384
Yup, that's me.
I'm doing pretty decent, how about you? You done anything fun today?
>>27922475
You're right, and I agree it does work, at least for you and I. Very comforting to have some unconditional love.
>>27922494
Even if i feel like a horrible person most of the time and think i don't deserve him
>>27922483
That's great to hear my man. I am doing alright, I've just been slaving away at my autistic Silent Hill 2 archive. I've been trying to put together a localized wiki of sorts, but with more information along with my lore interpretations.
What have you been up to?
>>27922512
Why do you feel like a horrible person?
>>27922548
Severe depression and recovering alcoholism
>>27922525
Slept til 11, and then went for a bike ride, but pretty much nothing else.
>>27922573
I understand that, I've got severe bipolar disorder and it was untreated for years. I know that feeling of complete and utter uselessness. I'm sorry to hear about the alcoholism, although you're recovering so you know there was a problem. That's the most important thing. My mother was/is a raging alcoholic, and she chose booze over me. The fact you're actually trying and recovering is admirable. Do you take antidepressants?
>>27922600
Bike rides are fun, glad you're enjoying the spring weather. Plan to sleep in tonight as well? Maybe saying "sleep in" is presumptuous since I regularly wake up at 1 or 2 PM.
>>27922618
I do. And I smoke copious amounts of marijuana. My family and I have an understanding that smoking pot is just what I do now to replace the alcohol.
>>27922648
Do you think they help at all? If not, I would recommend getting off of them. I'm not an expert of course, but at least in my personal experience continuing to take antidepressants that didn't help really wasn't good for me.
I don't think there's anything wrong with smoking marijuana, especially if the alternative is alcohol. I don't indulge in either, but I occasionally take some DXM.
>>27922691
They work. Before I was unable to get out of bed, now I can go to work and school but not much more than that.
>>27922641
On non-work nights I almost always stay up til at least 3 in the morning doing fuck all, so I'll be sleeping in for sure.
>>27922729
Progress at least.
Maybe this is just me, but I find that people are depressed for a reason. Whether it's some trauma in their past, mistakes they've made, whatever it may be, depression is often a hole. People can say chemical imbalance all they want, and that factors into it, but I believe there's often a root cause.
Do you have any trauma in your past? Abandoned by a parent? Abused? Even felt neglected for just a small amount of time?
I apologize if it's too personal and you don't want to get into it, I'm just wondering.
>>27922756
Sounds good to me my man. Is it almost 3 AM where you live? It's 2:37 here.
>>27922777
Nice trips.
I just had no friends as a kid and failed at everything. A few traumatic things may have happened but I've mostly blocked my childhood out.
>>27922794
It's 12:39 here on the West coast, I'll probably get high and maybe drink in an hour or two before going to bed.
you guys need to stop...
>>27922841
You need to fuck off right now
>>27922803
Thanks man.
>a few traumatic things may have happened but I've mostly blocked my childhood out
That speaks to me, it says a lot more to me that I think you meant to say.
The fact that you don't mention anything in particular, but instead say you've blocked most of it out, tells me you had many, many traumatic events. Trauma is easy to inflict, it isn't just getting molested or beaten as a kid, it's neglect, it's ostracization, it's loneliness. Kids, should almost never feel lonesome, I mean they have two built in best friends- their parents. If it wasn't like that for you, I'm sorry friend, but you have been neglected to some extent.
It is why nurture is so much more important than nature. Nurture influences nature. People with childhood trauma, their brains literally develop to improperly fire endorphins. Their happiness does not come nearly as easily as a person who had a great childhood.
I apologize if this all sounds off or wrong, it's just my opinion. It was some information that, when I first heard it, it made me realize self knowledge is very important. It's why, like with alcoholism, the first step to treatment is knowing the issue.
Sorry if this is just nonsense. It's just something that helped me start to explore my past, and being able to do that, has helped me feel much happier today.
>>27922835
Sounds nice, feel free to stick around, I should be here at least another hour.
>>27922841
Why do you say that my friend?
>>27922879
It's all good anon, I enjoyed reading that.
You might be right but as I've said, I blocked my childhood out. I just remember being an adult.
>>27922910
I see, I see.
Tell me, when you were still drinking, why do you think you did it?
I know, it feels good and you're depressed, but why do you think you drank?
>>27922948
Because bad things would happen to me. Something bad would happen and then I'd get drunk.
>>27923016
What kind of bad things? Do you have any examples?
>>27923034
Fights with my family, trouble at work, etc.
Everything has a habit of going wrong around me.
Going to give myself a bump, other people are more than welcome to come join in, get comfy, chat, ask questions, anything.
>>27923071
Can I ask, what are the fights with your family? That sounds like a big deal to me.
>>27923094
Mostly because of my drinking and drug usage.
kinda. mine's my dad. I only met him a couple times irl. he actually hated me cause he knew i was a beta loser fag.
so i talk to him sometimes when i'm alone and he tells me it's okay.
fuck. i really hate my life.
>>27923113
Makes sense, makes sense.
I'm not trying to be annoying or anything, but I am wondering- I asked for examples of bad things that make you drink, you say family fighting- caused by your drinking and drug usage. There's a certain hole here, because that cycle doesn't start all by itself. There were reasons you drank before family fighting, right? The reason you started binge drinking. Do you have any idea what that could be? What were you/are you trying to forget my friend?
>>27921560
Send nudes of her.
>>27923151
Hey now anon, don't be so negative about it. That's a completely understandable, and I would argue normal, coping mechanism.
You say you are a beta loser fag, and you only met him a few times- have you ever considered the fact that his abandoning of you may be the cause of you being a "loser beta fag"? That it's unfair of him to be angry with you, because how are you supposed to know better without a male socializing you, without a male showing you the ropes to what it means to be a man? Even if you had a step father, those don't fill in the hole, it's statistically proven, they make difference from a single mother household.
>>27923195
There is a nude picture of Daisy's boobs from a movie/tv show, but I don't have it saved. Far too lewd.
>>27923160
No idea. It's a complete mystery to me. I've justalways hated myself.
>>27921560
I have hundreds of imaginary friends. I talk to inanimate objects and turn them into people. I have an entire imaginary family. I have conversations with them for hours at a time and act out improvised fantasies while completely detached from reality. When I started it was a rewarding experience but its effect has diminished over time. I created a world in my mind where I live to interact with the imaginary. The experiences I have there feel real. It's better than meditating or lucid dreaming.
Tulpas require hard work and I'm too lazy for that.
>>27923257
I see. Well listen friend, I know I come off as silly since I'm just some anon on /r9k/, but the answer is in your childhood. I'm not saying you have repressed memories of molestation or anything, but the summary of your childhood is so terrible to you that you actively attempt to block it out. People with more than three adverse childhood experiences are 46 times more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. Adverse childhood experiences include bullying, ostracization, even short term neglect by parents, lots of fighting in the home, and so on. I would go so far as to say you drink to forget that pain, your childhood.
I was the same way, except never with alcohol because my mother scared me away from it. I would get high all the time, I never wanted to be sober. I did a lot of research, and a lot of therapy, and what I discovered is that your childhood is incredibly important and telling of your future experiences. Once I learned that, I isolated the incidences of my mother abusing me, neglecting me, some things my father did raising me which are considered neglectful, a whole host of things. And once I was able to recognize and isolate these things, I was able to deal with them, and recognize the patterns of behavior, my obsessive personality, my abuse of substances, my preference for being alone, and so on. Now I am a pretty happy camper.
Again, maybe you don't feel this applies to you and that's alright- but if you are interested or think it might be true, I highly recommend thinking back to your past. Isolate incidents.
If you want to talk about it, or anything really, I can give you my email. I know the thought spooked me yesterday but now I have gotten to know you fairly well and I'd be okay with it if you want.
>>27923337
Heh, I'm too lazy for actually making a tulpa as well. That first part is not something I've heard before though. Do you do this every day? Do you rely on it? Hundreds seems very extensive.
>>27923349
Okay what's your email?
>>27923375[email protected]
Don't worry it doesn't mean I'm a liar, it's just the name of an enemy in my favorite game.
>>27923392
Email sent and with that i am going to bed. Good night anon.
>>27923418
Goodnight friend, sleep well okay? I hope your dreams are sweet.
I'll be around for a little while if there are any anons who see this thread and want to come in, chat, ask questions, whatever.
One more bump to get more pals to talk with
>>27923371
I do it every day for hours. I definitely rely on it. It's hundreds because I almost never reuse the same imaginary character.
>>27923563
That's very, very interesting, mainly because the reason I do it is for a steady, unconditional loving person to be there. But for it to never be the same character, is there a reason behind that? And what do you do exactly, talk to yourself or is it more intricate?
>>27923575
I also want a steady reliable person, but I always want something different for some reason. After a few hours I tend to reach a satisfactory beginning and ending to the purpose of their existence. The beginning is always the most interesting part to me since I visualize a scenario similar to a movie or something. I don't just have imaginary friends, I visualize imaginary settings/plot and even turn myself into an imaginary character so I don't get bored. It combines maladaptive daydreaming with other elements. Often it's at an imaginary school. The imaginary characters talk to me through my thoughts and I communicate by voice, although I have multiple personalities that talk to me through my voice as well.
In my mind there is a more steady place I have created where I built a world over the past year. It started out as a wooden cabin in the middle of the forest and then I met a bunch of neighbors who lived there and started hanging out with them and going on adventures. I tried creating a tulpa there but realized I prefer instant gratification over hard work. I go there when I meditate and it has started showing up in my dreams as well.
>>27923727
>>27923727
That's fascinating that it's been built slowly like that, and that you act out those different fantasies and scenarios every day. Really neat stuff.
I know you prefer instant gratification over hard work, but I think you might do well to write some of this down someday. I know trying to experience it yourself is great, but there's value in recording, especially things so interesting as that.
When I was younger I had an imaginary friend named Griffy.
He was a griffon.
I made up a bunch of different other creatures for him to play with.
I drew these creatures onto cards and made my own card game.
>>27923828
Your own card game? That's awesome man. Do you still have it?
I remember having imaginary animal friends even as a kid.
>>27923837
Nope. It was probably 16 or 17 years ago.
Most of them were in pencil on regular printer paper. I doubt they still exist anywhere.
>>27923858
Huh.
That's still interesting, and pretty creative. I assume you don't still have any imaginary friends.
Sorry anons, but I am getting awfully sleepy. Daisy and I are going to cuddle and fall asleep now. I hope you all have a wonderful day or night. Night, friends!
