Can we have a good old fashioned feels thread? Post your troubles.
>tfw your only friend at uni tells you he got expelled.
>>27908861
I am starting to think seriously about suicide.
No shit like "damn, it would be nice to die".
I actually started planning suicide.
Also I almost cried few days ago. First time since I can remember. I just sat in my room and felt hopeless like never before.
Oh, and love of my life is probably drilled by chad now. Or maybe it's not chad. Maybe they actually love themselves. Who knows.
>>27908953
Ive thought about suicide a lot. The only thing that got me through it is I figure Im already gonna die no matter what so I might as well try to enjoy it while it lasts. Hope you dont do it though anon, I know it seems easy.
>>27908953
Are you retarded?
lmao
>>27909069
This is an 18+ only forum
>>27909121
So why do you want to kill yourself anyway?
I bet you have a nice house and a nice family, and you come here to pretend you have a literal meme disease (aka le depression face man).
The only thing you posted was
>muh love of muh life
If you want to kill yourself for some bitch then you are a total pussy nigga. I mean, what the fuck.
>>27909187
Not that anon but that's kind of what got me through much of my suicidal thoughts. Mostly the thought that while I'm alive I can prove to my parents that I'm not a failure, but I can never do that if im dead
>>27908861
>watching a show called mind games
>basically a series all of these mindfucky phenomena and tests that demonstrate them
>remember a lot of them from when I was 15 or 16 and I would spend all day looking this shit up on wikipedia
>all of these nostalgia vibes
>tfw these are things I no longer really think about
>tfw feel dumb because I no longer question reality or try to learn about all of these weird perceptual secrets anymore
>tfw fallen so far
>screwed up my credit rating
>screwed up the only good job Ill ever get
>screwed up uni
>screwed up every decent relationship I ever had a shot at
Basically fucked myself over completely over the last 3 years, and now I'm fully aware that I've made the rest of my life in this society difficult and unfulfilling.
Worst of all, after watching Enter The Void, I have a major fear of dying.
Fuck me, right?
>>27908861
>no point in life
>no hobbies
>no interests
>no friends
>no money
>no future
>no past
>no someone to live for
the raid never ends
>>27911025
Creative and proactive are great and all, until you place the requirement for revenue constraint on it. I'd love to do some carpentry or blacksmithing (I know I can do carpentry), but I need money to start it, and it needs to make money to continue.
Nah, all of my relationships were with people I met at college. Every chick I've liked since then has been absolutely nuts, and not in a good way
>fall in love with a girl
>never talk to her though
>this was 7 years ago
>haven't seen her since and still love her
When will this end?
>>27911687
You don't love her, you love an idea that she represents, whatever that may be.
Figure that out and fucking get it you glorious winged faggot.
>tfw all alone
>tfw 10 days of inpatient and a week of outpatient didn't help
>tfw out of drugs to numb the pain
>tfw tapering off SSRI's and antipsychotics at the same time because they make me feel totally retarded and I'm gaining even more weight
>want to kill myself desperately, but feel too guilty because of my family
I mostly just feel empty. I'd do a lot for some heroin right now. Or even just weed. Or benzodiazepines or uppers.
>>27910229
God I have thoughts like that every day. Things were so simple 10 years ago when I was a teenager and still had dreams of getting a gf.
>>27910373
I have so many broken friendships I've lost count. I guess on the plus side its less people you have to worry about. Still hurts though.
>>27910744
>no past
>wasted it all on vidya
Fuck me man.
>>27911687
It never ends. Literally never.
>>27911920
The family guilt has kept me from ever doing anything drastic.
>>27912182
>I have so many broken friendships I've lost count.
That sucks, and I know the feeling. But I kind of miss having people I care about, y'know?
I've always loved helping people. I just wish there was a way to make a living out of it. The smile someone gets when you help them out of a situation, when they've lost all hope and you give it back to them... there's no greater feeling.
>>27912286
It is a really nice feeling. I think a lot of it comes from just doing the right thing and knowing you helped some one. Feels like all I ever do now is the wrong thing.
>>27908861
>tfw that one girl, who you thought was into you, obviously is not (again)
>>27912451
Exactly. It's like, for a moment, you know your purpose in life.
I'm the same, and I keep letting people down. My tutor was so disappointed when I quit my course a week ago. But I just couldn't keep going, it felt meaningless to me, and every moment I stayed on it I was lying to myself and the few people who still care about me. Of course, once I quit, they were let down anyway.
I'll do right by them one day. I know I'm capable of doing a lot of good for a lot of people. I just need to figure out how.
>>27912606
Oh please dont anon, it hurts.
>tfw cant tell if shes into you or just nice to everyone
>tfw she mentions her bf for the first time and you die a little inside
>tfw you imagine what could have been
I miss you so much kristin.
>>27912694
You seem like a good person anon, im sure youll figure it out. And I can empathize a lot with the feeling of meaninglessness. Im almost done with a bachelor's which initially felt like a huge accomplishment, but now I just think about how much I hate my major and how I should have gone for something I have passion for than the "safe choice." I say use this opportunity to figure out what you really want to do and go for it. Dont end up in a dead end job working for the weekend.
>>27912606
It could be so much worse...
>tfw that one girl next door who hangs out in your rooming house all the time, who you were really into and thought would never be into you, comes into your apartment wasted and tries to have sex with you
>tfw she's too drunk to take your belt and you don't want to force anything
>tfw she gives up after half-stripping on you and goes down the street to another guy's house instead
>tfw she later asks if you will split a two-bedroom apartment with her
>tfw you say no because of other roommates, who you thought were your friends but ended up fucking you over anyway
>tfw
Pic related.
>>27912832
my roommate and former oneitis are now a couple
I got to act cool around them, but I'm dying inside every time
>>27912974
Yeah. It hurts. Oh well... maybe in the future.
>>27912801
I hope you're right, because I've had this feeling for as long as I can remember; it used to manifest as anger, but a few years ago it became apathy and depression, and I've been making my own life hell ever since. Spent years trying to figure out my path, and reality has finally caught up with me. I'll find a way though. I have to.
I think finishing the degree, whatever it's in, is something you can be proud of yourself for. Whatever you do next, you've got that, and you sound like you've learned from your mistakes. Just gotta make sure you don't repeat them now.
>>27913018
>I hope you're right, because I've had this feeling for as long as I can remember; it used to manifest as anger, but a few years ago it became apathy and depression, and I've been making my own life hell ever since. Spent years trying to figure out my path, and reality has finally caught up with me. I'll find a way though. I have to.
Fuck man we might as well be the same person. Ive had anger issues for years but its become emptiness in the last couple years. I think we'll both make it, we just have to keep pushing until it gets better. Thanks for the kind words though, just keep pushing yourself and try your best and no one can fault you.
>tfw can barely do the bare minimum at my minimum wage job yet they still keep me on
Why aren't I fired yet?
>>27908861
>Tfw you want a gf but you know you're too emotionally stunted and no girl would be willing to deal
>Tfw no money
>Tfw can't see self 2 years in the future
>Tfw you study your ass off and you get a C
every time.
>>27913200
Likewise. And in case you haven't learned this one yet; don't isolate yourself socially. If you're anything like me, it's always tempting, but trust me when I say that you'll regret it for a long time. You can manage on your own, but that doesn't mean you should.
>>27913233
Because you probably still do a better job than most shit heads at min wage jobs
>>27913251
Why is everyone me?
>>27913263
Damn we really are kindred spirits huh. I'll break out of my shell anon dont you worry.
>>27913821
Seems that way. Good to hear; in case you're interested, this is me: >>27913605
>>27908861
>after months of extremely intense therapy and struggling not to kill myself or anyone else
>after cutting off everyone that I know
>finally emerge from the feels
>things are starting to get better
>therapy is starting to get easier
>everything is looking brighter
>I decide I want to watch a bunch of my favorite spooky movies to celebrate
>all but one of my old friends won't answer any texts or messages on skype
>don't know anywhere I can go to find people to watch a stream with me
>sadness covers me like a blanket
>>27914092
>don't know anywhere I can go to find people to watch a stream with me
>posts this on a website with several hundred thousand active users
You have us, anon. You're not alone.
>>27914144
advertising livestreams on 4chan is a bannable offense
I can talk to you guys, and I am, but I can't post any links for fear of being cut off from my one source of socialization.
>>27914172
So get creative! Maybe make a room in Discord or a Skype group chat, then you can post the link in there and get people to join? There are already 4chan Discord channels going with several dozen people, so it's definitely do-able. Might just take a few threads to get one at the right time of day.
I have no emotions anymore. Everything is dull. I can't cry, smile or laugh. This is worse than being sad.
>another weekend watching anime
>no friends
>almost 30
>no drugs
>out of alcohol
>>27914908
Take a walk in nature, meditate; seek peace. There's much more to this world than just emotional reactions.
>>27915215
>out of alcohol
I'm on my last glass of Jager. Decide how I drink it. Only have coffee to mix it with.
>highschool was alpha bordering on beta
>still got laid
>next two years alpha on the outside
>have the friends I pick, not many but good
>talk to a bunch of girls
>date one for a year, relationship was a 5/10, was time filler really
>sex was great though
>academic success despite wasting my days away
>tempt the devil
>had been drinking for a while but got started doing it heavily on my own
>heavy and regularly now
>and these urges building up
>like snatching vertigo
>one night lose it, twist a spoon into rupture and shred my forearm and chest with the rough stub
>wreck every piece of furniture in the shit closet I live in
>calm down, spend night sleeping curled on the floor
>trying to cry but no good
>wake up feeling like pathetic trash
>shrug it off on account of stress
>two years go by, progressively isolate myself
>hate direct attention, do everything to appear undamaged
>but leg it every chance I get, lock myself up and drink myself to sweet slumber
>write nonsense in little notebooks
>read Camus and the like
>feel like a fucking impostor
>act like a dickhead at school
>get kicked out twice (college level)
>my life is only boredom at best, a deep feeling of feigned adequacy at this point
>fastforward.avi
>summer cheered me up a bit
>decide to dump engineering for fundamental mathematics
>perfect niche environement
>try to work, effectively drop out after two months
>sleep schedules off track
>no hobby, not even litterature anymore
>feel like I need to know everything about Dane history for a couple days, decide to draw the next
>like an empty barrel on the sea
>get slapped in the face by grades
>dontcare.jpg
>guilt over single father supporting me
>doesn't even dare ask about uni anymore, he knows the answer would destroy him
>so isolated now I effectively have a couple immediate acquaintances
>torn apart by realisation of my self-destructive behaviour and desire to carry on
>constantly
>but a full bottle is easier to empty than your day to fill
>>27908861
Your lack of empathy is probably your reason for only having 1 friend at uni.
Your friend just got expelled, and your thought instantly propel towards your own egotistical self interests. Stop empathizing with yourself, start empathizing with others.
Or stop complaining about it.
>>27915738
Writing about how he feels sorry for his friends would be completely irrelevant in his post. God, people who try to diagnose people off of a few sentences online make me mad.
>>27915738
You're fucking stupid.
He didn't say he was afraid of being lonely, he only said his only friend was expelled from uni.
>Stop empathizing with yourself
This is among the shittiest advice I have heard here, as well.
>she's so introverted i don't know if she's into me or wtf goes through her head
>I can't stop thinking about the fact we kissed last week
>I feel insecure as fuck despite everything going so well
>tfw i realize that i will always be an insecure fag and hate myself despite of what i acomplish
I just want to be a normie or a full robot, not be stuck in this shitty limbo where i don't belong anywhere
Nice night, but she has two children
>brain goes spaghetti whenever im alone with my crush
>cant think of anything to say, everything feels awkward as fuck and we just stay there in silence
>tfw get jealous of her other male friends because they're always making her laugh and they can talk for hours
>tfw she always looks like she's having fun with them and looks completely bored when she's with me
>one year out of college and still unemployed
it's over isnt it
>>27916373
You will never know what really is going on in her head
Admit that fact and stop being insecure
>>27908861
>tfw you're nothing but an annoyance to everyone for no reason
Why? Is it because I'm quiet because I don't have any fucking social skills? What did I do to be deserved to be treated like dogshit by every living thing
>>27908861
>Post your troubles.
I want to live alone in a comfy wood house in a forest or something. I just can't stand the concrete jungle, it's affecting my health (mental and therefore physicall) quite bad, I'm anxious, stressfull, don't like strangers, modern women, laws, so many rules.
I feel like a fucking piece of scum
I met this girl last September really hit off, turns out she has schizophrenia and she was sent to an institution, for about 2 months. When she got out of the instution she sent me alot of messages on kikebook asked if she wanted to be my gf and to help get through this. I loved her and she loved me. I met her and she got really anxious and locked herself in a bathroom, everyone in my circle, like them or not know about me and this girl, but I haven't seen her in 4 months, her parents know about me and if I give up on her I'll be labeled a scumbag. The thing is I met this girl about 4 months ago, slightly after the other girl, really odd this girl, but something about her is striking, we didn't really talk much but after I while we someone added her into this group chat I was in, it was her birthday so I wished her happy birthday, she sent me a PM and I sent it back, we spoke for like a week about random stuff, she told me some EXTREMELY personal stuff, I found myself falling for her, but then I said something extremely stupid and now I haven't seen or spoke to her in 3 weeks. I hate myself for abandoning a mentally ill girl for this other girl, if anyone found out I liked her they would absolutely hate me
I fucking hate myself
>>27916373
dont put me on this shit, the only thing keeping me alive is the thought thar kissing gurls will change me
>>27915215
>tfw you're starting to feel lonely but remember you have 5 beers left
CLUTCH
L
U
T
C
H
Im in love with someone i can never be with.
Its destroying me from the inside.
Pls make it go away
>>27908861
I'm feeling really dumb right now. I got BTFO by Google Codejam yesterday. I look around and see all these young faggots with impressive skills and projects, being top students in their universities, doing internships in big companies, studying abroad, etc. While I'm still the same guy from 6 years ago. A pathetic loser unable to change his life.
>tfw undertook a stupidly huge personal project of cataloging and archiving all the information and photos I could of Silent Hill 2 because I love the game
>tfw my autism has taken over and I can't even play Dark Souls 3 because I NEED to finish my archive first
This is taking forever.
>>27908861
Im asexual
im bipolar
im a mulatto
Because of the fact that im a mulatto (black dad, german norwegian mom) my hair is fucked up and always is a mess at any length
my ass is round like a girls but i dont want to be a trap because i dont like it up the ass at all.
im not gay i dont like guys.
i like girls but i never liked sex
no girl believes me, they just think im scared or that im gay, (god forbid im not attracted to them sexually baka)
I love guns but i cant own a gun due to a 5250 after i tried being an hero.
marijuana is the only thing that works for me with my bipolar disorder but my mom trips out on me even though im 22, so now i take lithium which makes me throw up first thing in the morning.
I have athletes foot because my nigga dad picked his feet all the time and it got all over the carpet and i had to step in it all the time my whole life
I got raped by my first roomate in college, he was gay and a bottom.
I was there during the Elliot rodger shootings (now you know where i went)
i made it into a great college strait out of highschool but my bipolar disorder made it impossible to leave my room at times so i never went to class when i was depressed which was always.
im in california and weed isnt legal even though its california and we are a huge part of western weed culture
everyone thinks i automatically am politically the same as obama just because we are the same race even though i disagree with him on many things.
everyone thinks im a mexican and they try speaking spanish bullshit to me that i cnt understand even though i took spanish 3.
my parents got divorced because of something i did. (i shitched on my dad he was cheating)
now my dad doesnt talk to me any more.
>>27912832
ya dude, girls can be real hoes. its surprising almost every time.
>>27910229
>feel dumb because I no longer question reality or try to learn
Used to love to watch scientific television shows and read articles. Even when I was far younger than the audience the information was intended for I would love just getting new information and learning to understand it.
>be about 6 years old
>parents arrange play date
>watch pokemon and usual 6 year old stuff
>at some point see her mom pour liquid from a tall skinny container into a shorter fat one
>both fill container completely
>awestruckchild.jpg
>get dad to explain it to me
>struggle with understanding a circular shape even though rectangular seems very straightforward
>eventually lose communication with girl who was at the playdateMaybe if I put some of that energy towards making friends or understanding her; I wouldn't be a 21 yo khv.
>still miss my autistic childhood curiosity to this day
>breaks up with 8/10 with way too much baggage
>commits to boost gpa
>bombs many tests
>blacks out at music festival and drunkenly reveals some repressed shit to close friends while hooked to saline drip
>pulls off 3.6 for the semester
>highest since first semester
>spring semester
>running club full force
>shirking responsibilities so much more than last semester
>howeven.png
>2nd wave of test bombings worse than last semeseter
>howeven.png
>2 research papers to go I haven't started
>3 more exams before finals I'm not prepared for
>case study and fucking SAP - aka the least intuitive GUI software known to man
>4 weeks left of school
>tfw there's no time to pull out anything better than Cs/Ds
>tfw hope of graduating w/ honors next year appears shot dead
>halp
>>27911687
that's a strong sign of a dependent personality disorder. The period a person is supposed go through infatuation should max out at two years (provided they have contact that long).
>>27908861
I seriously think I'm actually losing my marbles. I know a lot of robots like to post saying that they're going crazy but I legitimately think I am losing my mind.
I recently lost the ability to filter my thoughts when talking to people, I'm having extreme hourly mood swings, I'm really losing track of time, I'm having difficulty seeing clearly (things appear the wrong colour, fuzzy and covered in visual snow or have weird "sharp" or "soft" edges when they shouldn't). My personality that I had before seems to have gone missing, I need to pretend how I used to act because I act differently now. My anti-depressant medication recently stopped working entirely and started making me feel worse so I've stopped taking it. I feel like I should see a doctor but I'm worried I'll be put on worse medication that will make my dick unusable or something.
Every girl I'm interested in already has a boyfriend. I don't know what to do anymore but listen to sad music. If I stay in contact with her does that make me an orbiter. I want to move on but it seems so hard.
I'm still in uni so there's plenty of opportunity to meet girls but it just seems like all the good ones are already taken
All my friends are married. I'm working a dead-end office job with tons of unpaid OT. I haven't touched a woman in 4.75 years. It costs too much to buy a house where I live, so I'll be renting forever. I'm starting to bald. My father's in the hospital sick with something.
At least I saved a bunch on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
>>27909187
let me point out everyhing wrong in this post and once you fix this you can come back
please refrain from saying:
retarded as an insult
lmao
literal when it doesnt make sense grammatically
le in any form even "ironically"
never use meme as an adjective
dont make fun of meme faces ironically
seriously don't its not funny at all
srop saying muh
>total pussy nigga
"I mean, what the fuck" is a bad way to end a statement
"nice house nice family"
you see junior when boys like you get old enough, they move on out and live in their own houses away from mommy and daddy
and if you were referring to his childhood please learn how to use past tense when adressing the past
get the FUCC off my board,
concerned robot
>>27917270
Post it on here when you're finished
(plz)
>>27918343
I will. I might make a thread about it later because I'm pretty bored. We will see.
>all these uni fags
You won't experience real feels until you're out of college, m8ties.
That's when "real" adulthood will hit you: people and the universe as a whole don't give a shit about you. They only care about how much money you owe them and how easy you are to find. Besides that, you are LITERALLY no more than an occasional passing thought.
>>27908861
>tfw I like a girl and she has feelings for me
>tfw she says she ain't ready to date
>Mfw I might loose the only girl I felt the feels for in 5 years
>>27908861
>tfw no brofriend who would travel to the ends of the earth with you in camaraderie.
Never really cared for sex or anything romantic as much as a good ol fashioned friendship where nothing can push you apart. But everyone is focused on smashing genitals and "starting families" they completely forgot what it's like to have a simply good companionship.
I use anime as a crutch. It's a way to feel emotions I couldn't during my childhood. I always realize, though, that all of the cute girls, strong friendships, adventures, and self-introspection that I see are not part of life. I was never meant to experience such things. Most people don't. Entertainment was created to escape reality, not reflect it.
>tfw first warm night of the year
>tfw driving around
>tfw you see everyone your age out having a good time with their friends and gf
>tfw you sit alone in your car and then go home and sit alone in front of the computer
>tonight my qt friend asks me to come over and watch movies
>whenever I try to get closer she moves away
>she gets sleepy and asks me to move to another cushion
playing a very popular MMO with a self proclaimed "4chan" guild...and imo they're not...theyre all a bunch of normie cuck fags that act like they lurk 4chan but they really dont....most of them love trannies because its the "thing to do" all the cool kids are doing it now...the guild leader is the biggest normie 4chan poser I have ever seen...worse than a manlet..and all of the other guildies cuck to him so bad, its disgusting. This robot feels no pain so therefor; This is purely a statement..not a cry for help
>tfw want to rail more 3 meo pcp but have been doing that for the past few days and know its ruining my mind and have noticed signs of kidney/bladder damage
>tfw also wouldn't be able to enjoy my anime anyway because I'd be to fucked up to pay attention
>tfw no weed
Over the last year since becoming certified as an EMT I've noticed I've become alot more emotionless and as a result its made it really hard for me to connect to people on the rare occasion that I actually talk to someone.
>>27919355
just picked up some decent green...if I could feel....my heart would feel your pain, anon
>>27916425
Nah this quote always cheer me up
July 17, 1924
"I'm so despondent about everything. Everything I try goes totally wrong. There's no escape from this hole here. I feel drained. So far, I still haven't found a real purpose in life. Sometimes, I'm afraid to get out of bed in the morning. There's nothing to get up for."
-Joseph Goebbels
>>27919375
not worth connecting with normies...they will never understand anyway. being an emt must be kick ass though...how many OD's have you seen so far?
>>27919411
we don't get alot of them around here. mostly old people falling.
>complete failure at life, can never do anything right, failing my classes
>no skills or hobbies
>no friends irl
>parents are disappointed in me
>no ambition, no goals, no drive to do anything
>hate everything about myself, from my intelligence to my looks
>ran out of a group I use to spend every day with, burned every bridge I had with them
>still think about her and how she basically NTR'd me every day
I wish someone would drop a nuclear bomb on this entire country.
>20 year old khv
>haven't even started college yet
>haven't had any friends since elementary school
>working dead end security job
>mom is a drug addict
>brother is a drug addict and on the verge of a psychotic break
>16 year old sister is a drug addict and pregnant with some guy she's known for a month
>14 year old sister is living with her 20 year old boyfriend
>Managed to make a friend a few months ago but she's been ghosting me for the past two weeks.
If it weren't for my dog I would be killing myself right now
>>27908953
>>27909041
i wanted to kill myself but i thought i gotta prove myself to the world.
i want to prove that i dont deserve this and that normies are inferior to us without shooting up a school or other place or doing something violent.
>>27919618
keep ur head up anon, at least your not a normie...cheers
> Dropped out of high school due to debilitating anxiety
> Mom (Grandma) has alzheimers
> real mom is a crackhead and only contacts me for money
> brother died
> white trash family
> barley have money to eat
> literally 0 friends the only people i talk to are my parents, and doctors
> about to become a wendys employee
> every single day i contemplate suicide
>
Anybody else /don't even want to be in love that badly just want to have sex but can't even get that because you are so hopelessly autistic and socially anxious/
>>27916415
Move on. If you keep going after her you're gonna get burned. That is, unless you get bold and make a move.
>>27919792
I'm the opposite. I could care less about sex I just want companionship.
>>27908861
I stared at the ceiling and cried for an hour or two crying yesterday, and the day before. I am bad at everything I do, even the things I am supposed to enjoy, and I'm failing out of college at the end of this semester (even though it's my first year and all the classes should be easy). I haven't spoken to anyone in months except my parents because I'm incapable of being social with people who I don't already know well. I had some friends IRL but they all moved on. My last internet friend told me I was a loser last week and stopped talking to me after 7 years. I have no reason to continue living
>>27916661
I've been in a similar situation with a bipolar grill man, in the end I had to leave even though I was attracted to her, she was just too emotionally damaging to me. At the end of the day, we're all fundamentally alone. You don't owe it to someone to remain romantically involved with someone. Most relationships are doomed to fail anyway, forgive yourself.
>>27908861
>tfw threads like these are few and far between
>tfw I am not good at anything, and will never be the best at anything
>tfw If I ever get a load of compliments, I have to wonder if the people giving me the compliments in a sarcastic way, or only because I am autistic, but I don't know if I am autistic and am too afraid to ask even you guys.
>tfw every thread I make gets only one reply max
>tfw my mind swarms with negative thoughts.
>tfw even after brief moments of success without any problems I get anxious that I am forgetting about something, that something is wrong, or that I did something wrong.
I was friends with a girl for a couple of years. Seemed fairly normal, introduced me to one of her guy friends after the first year. Finally thought I was making friends after college.
They both made my life miserable, and they wont stop spreading horrible rumors, visiting my workplace, and talking to everyone I know. I want to move and forget everything...They're literally the worst humans I've ever met. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy. I can't take the bullying much longer.
>>27919657
i believe people like /r9k/ are the holes in society
what i mean is that the way we are treated are the ugly sides/mistakes in our societies
we are the embodiment of it
we have not to prove us to our societies but to nature itself
it actually calms me quite a bit sometimes just to know that people like us exist
originallan
>>27919657
>i want to prove that i dont deserve this
Spite is a damned fine motivation familia
>>27918836
>I always realize, though, that all of the cute girls, strong friendships, adventures, and self-introspection that I see are not part of life. I was never meant to experience such things. Most people don't. Entertainment was created to escape reality, not reflect it.
I know that feel, brother. I grew up just before the internet was big, and for me it was Fantasy novels. I used to spend pretty much all my free time at the library.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHfBhuEPf1g
>27 years old
>old
>distant, emotionally stifled family
>moved away from where I grew up 9 years ago
>have not made a single friend since
>0 friends
>all of my old friends were shitty and mostly made fun of me anyways
>have spent most of my life online
>never had girlfriend
>virgin
>weird sexual fetishes from being abused as child
>totally fucked up mentally
>have failed entire past year of college
>stopped going because a girl took interest in me and got such bad anxiety that i was getting drunk in the morning before class every day
>stopped going
>sat inside apartment masturbating the entire year
>on the verge of dropping out
>no job
>$35K in student loans
>no plan
>whenever i do actually try, always want to do the right thing but
>always ends up going wrong somehow/get made fun of
>tired of trying
>for years i've pretended to be a girl online just so people will talk to me
>>27920319
true but we should not do it only out of spite but for love towards people like us so that we can bring more hope to people like us that we can make it
there have been successfull /r9k/-like people in the world. We just need more of them
>>27920494
you should talk to the a girl next time one takes interest in you
yo can lose so little compared to what you can gain from it
>>27908861
>tfw stuck in a cycle of poverty that seems impossible to escape from
My biggest expense besides rent is my student loans. Landing a decent paying job is a struggle, so I'm left to scrape by.
>>27920576
I think being a living "Fuck You" to this system of degradation would be an embodiment of hope for robots.
>tfw I will never be a main character
>not a side character or likable cameo either
>my relevance is closer to a fly or mosquito
>>27908861
>23 yo
>6'3
>7.5 inch dick
>virgin
people keep telling me i have it "easy"
>>27921194
You have work to do, robot.
>>27908953
If I find out one of you faggots killed yourselves over some pussy I will hunt you down in hell and kill you again.
>>27921198
you do have it easy yet you're too fucking stupid to realise even that
kill yourself
>>27908861
The love of my life has a boyfriend and he's not even a bad guy so I can't even hate her for it. I wish I could just fucking believe every woman is a stupid whore but every time I talk to her she's just too kind and pure to believe that. The way she talks to you but more importantly how she listens just feels like she is so concerned and cares so much about every single person she meets while simultaneously being extremely cute and interesting and smart.
I'm jealous. I know she's still a virgin but that will have to change eventually. I have faith that their relationship will last a while because she is kind, patient and logical but he's also just a nice guy as well so I can't really imagine anything popping up. I was in a stupid teamspeak with them the other day while we were all getting started on the new Dark Souls and the way she laughed at things he said made me want to fucking die inside. I want to hate her so much for this, but I can't. I know we'd be shitty together. I'd be too defensive and possessive and I'd get annoyed with her always being rational and calm. They seem perfect.
I wish I was a good enough person to at least say I hope he makes her very happy but I'm not. I hope he treats her like shit until she's insecure enough to be with someone like me. I hope he crushes that perfect trusting personality she has until she runs to me for protection and then I can get away with being shit because she hates herself too much to care.
>>27920090
We really live up to the character.
>>27921426
I've been in your shoes and all I can say is let it go
Just try to appreciate that there is happiness in the world even if it isn't your own. There's too little of it to begin with.
They sound nice. Try to learn from what they have if you can.
>tfw the girl of my dreams doesn't care about me anymore and is up late talking to a guy that's better than me in every possible way
holy fuck kill me
>>27921304
>You have work to do
And promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Thanks for the encouragement anon. I really should be more productive tomorrow.
>>27921543
Yeah, you're right. I've been trying to be more like him lately as well as her but not just to win her over or anything. He's just a kind of warm guy, you know? Makes everyone feel welcome. He's not even loud or outgoing but he just has this way of calming everyone down and never letting anyone feel left out. I think I'd like to be like that. Almost all of my relationship and friendship problems in the past have stemmed from me being an asshole really, so I want to try practice being kindness but in reality when I'm interacting with people I just forget to put in the effort to be nice and lazy me just sounds like a fucking dick. It's hard to try be nice when I just don't have the motivation to put effort into anything.
>>27921024
no thats not what i meant. thats the wrong way to tackle the issue
you end up becoming just as bad as them as cliched as it sounds i believe its true
you have to become something you are truly happy yourself with instead of just becoming a product of doing things out of spite
once you have achieved that you might become become the "fuck you" without even meaning to become it
>>27921644
I hug this same feel at this exact moment
Tell me its gonna be alright bro
>>27921426
I know that feel, because I was in the same situation. I know it's hard to give her up, but you have to. There are other girl out there. When i was about 17yo I had the feeling every girl is unique, but belive me, there are other/better girls out there. Probably hard to find. Just dont loose your hearth to that girl... It's just not worth it.
>>27921710
Same anon, yeah I've known guys like that. I don't want to sound presumptuous so if this doesn't apply to you then maybe someone else will find it useful, but one other thing I've learned is that when you are trying to learn from somebody, you value them and want to emulate them, but don't try to be just like them. You see the effect that they create and you value that and try to create the same effect by copying the cause i.e. copying them, but this doesn't work because you are your own person.
It's a mistake I've always made. I used to see people I wanted to be like and so I'd try to copy them and it would work horribly.
When you learn from another person, like this guy, I think it's about finding those same qualities he has which are already in yourself, your version of them. So, your version of kindness, your version of warmness, your version of making people feel welcome. If it isn't you then it feels like effort as you say. And some people might then say "Well I just must not be able to do it" That's a hard question and I don't know what the answer is to that.
I think that the answer is to let something inspire you, like the real you, but I really don't know.
>>27908861
OCplus it's original didn't you know
>laying in bed
>suddenly remember something from my past
>church group driving back home from mission trip
>everyone tired
>qt girl I still can't decide if I like romantically or just lust after asks me if I want to cuddle because she's sleepy
>manwithragssweating.png
>autistically tell her I'm not interested
>I really was but was scared of what other people would think or what she would think
>still kick myself for not taking the opportunity to cuddle with a qt for a few hours
>still see her frequently
>she occasionally brings it up
I mean I'd like to date her but I'm too autistic to know how to properly date a girl. Also I feel like I'd basically be forced into marrying her because our families are close and I'd make it awkward forever if we dated and broke up. I don't even know what I feel about her honestly, like I don't know how many interests we share or anything
>>27922307
I'm pretty autistic about being with girls too but i', just going with the flow. she's the flow, and so far i haven't fucked up.
>>27922307
Oh man lol.
Reminds me of one of my church experiences
>get invited to church by high school crush. BIG oneitis.
>youth group is playing game where you sit in a circle of chairs and one person runs around and sits on top of the person who has to answer the next question.
>QT(!!) girl I never met with nice booty is running in the circle and suddenly picks me and plops down on my lap
>QT booty on lap
>soft feminine weight pressed against me
>perfumed hair brushes against my face
>Autism massively triggered
>Instantly go beet red and pull back away from her and try to stand up.
>Gravity slides her off lap, she instantly looks ashamed
>High school crush is doubled over laughing so hard about to cry
>the human part of her female brain was thinking "oh god that is so cute look how red he is"
>the lizard part of her female brain was thinking "that is a perma-virgin and he will never touch me"
>never touched her
Is mostly funny in hind-sight but embarrassing that I accidentally nuked one QT and got nuked by another all in seconds.
>>27917357
damn you got raped by your first roomate?
lmao
>I have athletes foot because my nigga dad picked his feet all the time and it got all over the carpet and i had to step in it
> Balding
> No formal education cause I dropped out
> Laid off from my last shitty job
> No social life
> NEET living at home
> 27 in acouple months
Business as usual.
>>27917007
>tfw i ran out of money for alcohol a month ago
just fuck my shit up senpai
>tfw the highlight of your day is fapping
>tfw you can almost trick your mind into thinking you're really being intimate with someone
>tfw you start feeling for women again after keeping a healthy regimen of fapping to degenerate porn regularly
Fuck, I don't want to feel this way, but my crush hugged me yesterday and it was the best I've felt in so long. I wish I still thought she hated me.
>>27924193
>tfw cuddling with pillow after fapping to simulate spooning after sex
>romantic interest is crazy, manic, and bipolar, then really apathetic when i'm needy
>tfw she's sexy and cute and fun but her personality is the opposite of what i desire
>tfw all i want is a cool, level headed fembot gf with a clingy but modest personality who will be my partner in everything
>tfw my current romantic interest is into femdom and has so many other obligations
>tfw no cute NEET fembot gf to play games with and watch obscure anime with
Almost 21 years old
Khv, I've never had a non forced by social contract interaction with a woman my age
I haven't had friends in 5 or 6 years, only had one then
Average height but 4 inch dick
Haven't had a job in years
Skin condition that's extremely noticeable
Schizophrenia and depression from mother
Dropped out to do online school because of paranoia
Did career college dropped out in two weeks because of my brain again
I've got the cutting off blood to the brain method down just need to find a day
>>27913233
I dunno but I did the most work at my minimum wage job and I still got fired.
In my final semester (one month until final exams), I was arrested and subsequently suspended from uni for 2 offences of "stalking". This was done without ever speaking to me in person and tagging me with the title of "dangerous" even though the police thought the suspension was unfair and that I was not dangerous, just a little messed up.
The "stalking" was no more than making some unpleasant posts on a message board (and a personal blog) alongside facebook pics of a couple of girls from my uni. The comments were not sexual, quite generic actually.
I was suspended until the resolution of the case (conclusion of the trial), so I plead guilty to speed things up and my legal aid solicitor was shit. (6 months after the arrest)
Opinions so far?
I was arrested again after this, before I could get my uni disciplinary and subsequently suspended again without ever been spoken to in person again.
This time it was for allegedly making veiled threats on a message board.
No evidence but the prosecutor fiscal pushed ahead with the charge though still no trial date has been set (6 months on bail, 6 months left until they can try me)
So I've been stuck in limbo for a year
No innocent until proven guilty (natural justice) by the uni
The nature of my crimes was exaggerated
There was bias against me by the uni (principal spoke to the girls but not me)
>>27924368
Wow if that is true you give me hope for myself. Thanks man.
>>27915639
that last line is beautiful anon, fellow alcoholic here
>>27924260
>I don't wanna feel these feels right now.
>>27919375
That's good for your job. It won't affect you as much.
>>27924368
Dunno about the rest, but I have a p. small dick and am in a LTR with a QT. Depending on your skin, you could look into meds.
The good thing about being messed up though is that you now qualify for NEETBux/disability. Use that shit to heal and discover something you're passionate about...maybe become an artist of some sort? It'd be a career where nobody would judge you too hard for struggling with mental illness. Shit, it might sell you work.
"You're not being genuine with me right now," You said.
You're always pulling me into dark entrances in the street. It used to be for passionate kissing or slapping me hard across the face and pushing your fingers. Now it's for this. I don't know what to tell you. You say that I'm rehearsing it, that I'm saying what you want to hear. I recall standing in your room high on LSD and you shook me and you screamed at me that I was lying, that I was sleeping with someone else, that I had herpes. I stood there clasping my hands and cried because you wouldn't accept that I was not lying to you, that I was faithful to you the year we were apart, I got tested so many times the nurse was concerned. "If you don't have any symptoms, why do you keep coming back?"
I am crying but you tell me sternly not to; I stop. This is protocol I'm familiar with, protocol that can switch my mind off. You said the same things after punching me in the stomach, slapping my face, slamming me against walls so hard my head spun. I am not trying to paint you as a villain. This is just what happened. Without context, it is ugly and awful. With context, it's just kinky sex. I don't know, it's more than that; we're more than that.
I think I need you.
I slid down the wall in a bundle of tears.
"Stand up," you told me. I wouldn't stand. I shook my head. I needed to feel smaller. It was safer. You wanted to treat me like a child, so treat me like a child.
I am not that passive. We danced behind the shelves. Sex is the only way I make it better, make you feel ok. We are unified by nothing but a mutual understanding of hurt and gratification.
I don't like talking about what I do when you are touching me because that is not a me that I can care about too much or I get sad. That is the me that has mud and piss on her clothes and twigs in her hair because the only place to fuck her was the clearing where people swap cigarettes and saliva, crunch their beer bottles.
It's too late to change, you said.
>Had 2 weeks to do a 2000 word article with photos, an interview, and 4 sources
>Didn't come up with a good topic until Thursday, couldn't nail down an interview
>It's due Monday
Fuck my life.
>no job
>no life
>no gf
>no education
>no prospects
I'm a 27 year old man who's never held a job for more than 3 months, who can't make friends, has never even moved out of home and whose only hobbies are masturbation and video games.
I don't want to do this shit any more.
>>27924423
Do you enjoy living in America?
>>27925135
I don't live in America m8y
>>27908861
>tfw hearing loss
>tfw shit vision
>tfw no money
>tfw no job
>tfw failing uni
>tfw ugly
>tfw parents are about to boot me out
>tfw vidya + 4chan all day as escapism
>tfw I brought these problems upon myself
>Spent most of my childhood trying to be a normie, isolated myself even more because I'm a weirdo and can't be a normie
>had friends, had awesome grades
>this semester, I just up and decide life isn't worth living. Depression comes back and gets worse every day
>tfw spend all day avoiding human contact in my single dorm, feel so out of place
>finally come to terms with my shitty life, know I'm going to finish myself soon
>my mom gets fucking diagnosed with breast cancer
>begin to wonder if I should hold off on killing myself
>try really hard to care about other people but I'm so detached at this point I don't even really want to care about other people anymore
>>27908861
>ask qt is she wants to meet me
>she agrees
>went alright
>3 days have passed, she havent texted or called me
i want to die
>no creative outlet
It's all I really need in life. I used to mod games but they're all terrible these days.
How do you choose your career? I can't decide what I want to doe my career whether to join the police force or go to school and become a forensic scientist. Problem is I don't feel 100% keen on becoming a full on police officer and I can't study for shit to be a forensic expert.
How do people deal with this shit?
>>27908861
>neet
>too much free time
>can't get into education and get a trade despite trying
I just want to get a job desu
>>27919695
Hahahahaha, all your KHV faggots wish you were a normie. That's why you all are saddled with crippling depression.
>tfw even if I ever get a gf everything we do will be a horrible parody of things more beautiful people have done better.
>>27925806
There aren't that many forensic jobs. There are loads of students because of CSI.
Feelings? What are my feelings? I don't know. Every single thing I do, say or think passes through a filter. It's a filter composed of intrusive obsessive self-awareness, existential anxiety, and just overall hopelessness and helplessness. I've been buried alive above the ground. I've lost my ability to express emotion, I've lost my ability to speak, I've lost my ability to change. I am stagnant. There is nothing of value to be communicated through writing any of this of course, I'm just talking to myself. I'm gonna go back to lurking. There's no point in writing about my feelings. I cannot rationalize living anymore.
>>27908861
I have oneitis for a girl that lives on the other side of the planet. I've been in love with her for about 3-4 years, moved away about 2 years ago, never lost feelings for her. We talk like every day.
I think recently she's began feeling the same way about me. But I'm so terrified of my feelings that I don't know what the fuck to do.
I have met another girl recently but it's not the same at all, don't have proper feelings for her, never will. Just want to fuck her. Hopefully I'll get the chance to so I can at least be a nonvirgin loser with oneitis rather than a virgin loser with oneitis.
>>27926710
This makes me so fucking sad
Maybe you should really commit suicide. Maybe it's for the best :(
>>27926710
Are these the kind of feelings that make us? Why do so many of us gather to report these feelings but I can never seem to find like minded people in real life? I just want one friend /r9k/ just one friend.
>>27908861
My best friend, also known as the only real friend I have left, real as in I can and actually want to talk to him instead of scrambling to find meaningless conversation pieces and feeling close, has invited many normies to whom he's not even that close to to his fucking SISTER'S WEDDING and NOT ME.
I don't want to remain friends with someone who betrays me like that and considering he did that he's not really my friend at all, but he's all I have left. If I let him go then I truly have no one and he's the only person I've known for several years who still remains in my life.
What to do in this situation? Be a cuck to stay sane or throw my hollow happiness away in favor of pride?
>fell for the co-worker
>she has a bf
>she's not even good looking
yet all i can think about is her
>tfw no money for 10 days
>tfw work in 16 hours
>tfw depressed
>tfw no dxm or o-pce
Just found out that my EX girlfriend really is fucking pic related and having a relationship with him. Good thing I dumped her 1st.
>>27927389
>just got my fav oasis record on vinyl
23
>tfw have friends but have never been close
>haven't had a true best friend in years
>so stressed out in my life I can hardly sleep and haven't eaten more than once a day in weeks
>becoming ultimate skelly
>filled with hopes and dreams and try and focus most of my energy on fulfilling them but at the same time I realize it's all a waste of time and just want to die
I don't even have no gf feels anymore. I "dated" a girl for almost a year last year and it was horrible most of the time. Most women are completely self-centered and once I realized that I just can't even bare to try anymore, I don't believe in love or any of that shit anymore because it's obviously not real.
Tmw I have snapchat and see my so called friends on parties having a goodtime. I didnt even know there was a party. Nevermind, it wasnt like I was getting invited or anything.
I think I am truly loosing friends.
>>27927623
Delete the snapchat anon. It just makes you feel worse about your own life.
>>27927734
Cant.
I dont have any other social media accounts and this makes me able to maintain somewhat of contact with others.
Just sucks that my group of friends is doing things without me knowing.
Tbf I have grown distant from them over the years and Iive quite a distance away from them.
>>27927855
Why do you care enough to maintain contact with them? I certainly wouldn't.
>tfw everything is bright and wonderful and I am satisfied and happy despite me having absolutely no reason to feel that way
>>27908953
>want to die
>useless, all I do is play vidya
>cant because it'd devastate my dad
>love my dad tons
>>27928064
I have other people on snapchat as well.
I dont quite know. Perhaps because they are the last basiain of not being alone. I dont see them often kr anything like that so it would matter much.
Maybe I should look for other friends but it would be a hard time since I rarely go out and rarely have time.
I still have a qt gf so I got that going for me. And my gym buddy
>>27927855
That's pretty much the same as me. The only social media I have is snapchat and it really sucks seeing pictures or videos of your friends out doing things that you know you would have enjoyed if they bothered to think about you long enough to invite you. I really thought I made a close group of friends this year but they do that all the time. Nine out of ten times if we're spending time together it's because I tried to organize it. At a certain point I just gave up on them and decided that if they invite me to stuff that's cool but otherwise I'm fine spending time alone.
>>27920319
What comic is this from?
>>27928208
This. I am even in a whatsappgroul with them and later on see them hitting bard and stuff.
Sucks desu. Though THey did come to my birthday party 21 years old, and it was nice.
Still, it sucks but even in highschool i was always stuck between groups. Now I am just outside of it. I had so many parties as a kid and now zero.
>in college
>meet qt 8/10
>she likes me
>one night I make my move to kiss her
>we lock eyes, 4 inches from each other
>just as I start to move in her phone buzzes and she looks away
>finally get the chance again a week later
>succeed
>by that point she had already started to text some other guy
>a few days later she tells me we won't ever be anything more than friends
>those days of cuddling while watching scary movies are gone
It hurts real bad
>>27928208
>At a certain point I just gave up on them and decided that if they invite me to stuff that's cool but otherwise I'm fine spending time alone.
That's the greatest thing about it- once you start doing that they never invite you to anything for weeks and weeks and months and years till eventually you realize your closest friends are as close as a nameless stranger to you and you realize you are completely alone.
And then you spend you evenings, years later and alone, reminiscing about those fun times you had together and how close you were and you wish you could be as close to them again but you know that for the rest of your life they're just gone.
>>27928365
I wasnt suppossed to feel these feels.
I already drifted appart from a group of friends, which are still together. And now will most likely again, if not already.
Fuuuu
>>27908953
>attempted it.
>got interrupted.
>decide to try again to get a job and unfuck myself.
>not sure if its going to work out.
>feels hopeless
>feels like by not dying I'm being cruel to myself.
>feels like this world isn't worth living because I'm a lonely ugly failure.
>feels like theirs nothing to look forward.
>>27908861
did all the things normies tell you to do
>fit
>good job
>my own place
>hobbies that I'm good at
They still all hate me. No friends Women look at me like I have 2 heads. I don't know what I'm doing they just know that I'm wrong. Im glad I have my job and my life because I worked so hard for those things but I don't think Ill ever share it with anyone.
>>27916415
Same here. Tried to get rid of her but she always finds a way for us to talk again
>lose job soon
>deformality
>lone
>in bad shape
>>27922165
where did the time go?
i want it back
>>27919394
der ye go
>>27917357
>asexual
stopped reading
>>27917849
No one can hear you, you're already dead
>>27913251
It's the worst.
These days I don't even try despite really wanting it.
I figure they're better off being with someone else, someone with self-worth and who isn't mentally ill.
I'm 24, with a degree. I've been at an office job that doesn't pay too well. I haven't saved up anything and I've been there almost 2 years.
I'm dumb. I feel dumb.
Dating life is shit, I'm socially anxious, I'm a beta and avoid confrontation. I have bacne. I can't be honest with people. The only genuine relationship I have is with my brother and he's away at school. I'm a gayfag and i have phimosis. My penis doesn't work. I need 950 to get circumsized.
The future seems kind of hard to deal with when you're socially anxious. It just feels hopeless.
>>27921198
>>27921423
What's the point in having a Lamborghini if you can't drive it?
>>27929819
You can drive it you just refuse to.
It's as easy as opening your mouth with some half-assed advice from the internet for you.
>>27929961
>JUS B URSELF
not everyone is a social butterfly normie like you anon
>>27930174
You are a MORON.
You are 6'3 with a fucking 8 inch cock, literally just go to a bar and tell the nearest drunk bitch that you have a big dick and that you want to fuck her.
>>27930213
It doesn't seem easy as it sounds like. I understand the guy.
>tfw a guy will always settle for you
>he will never find you pretty
>he wont stay with you because he thinks youre beautiful
>he will never look at you like at those other girls
>lost kv
>at 18 years old
>kissing is amazing
>all this time I have thrown away
>I can't cope with it
>girl is drifting away
>>27921644
Similar feel. Cried all day today. Have no motivation to do anything. I want to die. I literally have no compulsion to live.
I'm just so fucking tired of being alone. Never had friends. Never had a girlfriend. At best all I've ever had were acquaintances that are in the same group/organization/workplace as me. I don't know why other people find me so repulsive, I wish I could fix it. I'm not a 10/10 but I'm in shape and not grotesquely ugly, probably a solid 6. I'm funny, people sincerely laugh when I make jokes. I'm on the quiet side but I can converse. I have no idea why I can't form relationships with people, and it kills me a little bit every single day.
>"Anon, wake up. Your father has died."
>>27918899
Yeah, but my GTI is really fast. :^)
>>27919209
This makes me mad at you cyborgs. Stop validating women's self esteem when you're not getting any reciprocation out of it. You don't need to stop talking to her like faggot beta bitch but make it clear that you're not interested in being her pet. She'll re-evaluate your status in her life and move onto the next level or stop talking to you. Either way it's a plus for you. You won't listen though.
>>27915250
Just drink it straight, fuck it
>>27909187
Put the gun in your mouth, if you can't do it pretend it's a cock, and then pull the trigger.
