/hopegen/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Have hope to give? Need some? Fuck all the gf bait threads, this is one for those of us who are just struggling to live, however you define life.
Thanks to an anon in another thread, I have some hope for the future again. I want to share that, because I think you deserve it just as much as I do.
>>27912623
Good for you, I will bump. I have no will to live anymore and nothing will change that, I may even be on the verge of ignorance. Conventional help only works for those who can feel emotion, not for those born with anhedonia
>>27912738
Anhedonia sounds like purgatory. I honestly can't imagine your life, and I can't say you can find happiness, but I hope you find your peace, anon, whatever that may entail.
>>27912892
Thanks op, hopefully there's light at the end of this tunnel for you, and for whomever else stumbles upon this thread
>>27912956
Likewise, anon. However things go for you, I promise, I won't forget you. Even without the ability to feel pleasure, I hope that counts for something.
Pretty flower. Saving that.
>>27913105
Thanks man, ironically I hope my words count for something, considering there's is no emotion attached to them. It surely takes a lot out of your life, everyone does things because of some emotion to something, even wagecucks. It's like you're actually a robot, self aware to the happiness you're missing out.
The Rose got compressed a bit I think, it's a nice pic, found it at the uni I used to go to before I gave up. Was gonna use it as a "4u" I think, I can't really remember
>two guys circle jerking in a /hope/ general
this is BLEAK
>>27912623
That pic is quite amazing. It evokes many feels inside me.
>know that things can be wildly different from what they are and any attempts to describe universal truths are most likely at this point inaccurate and only reflective of the current environment
>have hope that things can change into something great even if it doesn't happen to me specifically or any time soon
>but at the same time more than a little bit afraid of the opposite
>kind of content with where I am even if it feels restrictive, repetitive, boring and draining because I am familiar with it and it feels safe
>tfw know that it isn't actually safe because it will topple at some point like everything else is
>tfw always dominated by uncertainty, confusion, resentment, appreciation, hope and fear all rolled into one
I kind of want for everything to go away for at least a little bit
>>27913390
like everything else does
not like everything else is
>>27913221
I guess hope goes beyond emotion; a higher form of pleasure maybe. In any case, it's proof that there's much more to life than happiness, and if there's anything this board represents, I think it's that idea. Kinda reminds me of that saying, light can be found in even the darkest of places.
Heh, well at least you got a memento, I just sort of faded out. Well regardless; it's beauty in simplicity, and that's the only kind that a cynic like me can't fault, so I appreciate it.
>>27913333
Then how about you join in and make it 3? How's your life going anon? There's hope for you; after all, you got quads.
>>27913360
Me too. I've always felt like the tortoise; I love helping people. Probably the only wallpaper I've stuck with for longer than 5 minutes.
I am almost giving up on having friends
>>27913466
ill be your friend
got steam? skype?i prefer steam
>>27913428
I used to be able to deal with the /empty/ in my younger years, but I guess I got a sense of the life I was missing, and now I forever feel incomplete
>>27913390
I know those feels. Honestly, I think the human race is capable of things far beyond what we currently imagine, but I don't think we can get there without great periods of suffering. Just looking at the world now, things are just waiting to explode.
Trust that there are still good people who will fight for what they believe in; I'm one of them, and I think you are too. Not sure how much of a difference we can make, but as long as people like us are alive, there's at least a little good in this world, and that means there's hope for a better world.
Hope is the light of humanity, and nothing has managed to snuff it out yet. Trust that nothing ever will, providing we carry the torch.
I've just grown tired of living, honestly. I've even set a date to kill myself if things don't get better before then. When I start to feel really down, it cheers me up to think about it. It's reassuring to know that things will get better, one way or another.
>>27913428
There's also a robot element to the picture. The tortoise being this beast, an outcast, helping this distressed beautiful woman who in normal circumstances, like others, would most likely just scream and run away if she saw him. For a brief moment the tortoise is being appreciated.
>>27913516
I can deal with it, but I can't force myself to walk a path when I know there's no meaningful end. There's a way for us to live, there has to be, or we wouldn't have made it this far. We just have to find it and help others like us do the same.
>>27913466
>>27913486
blackbird7958 on Skype and Steam. Can't say I'm on much, but if you message, I'll reply. You have my word on that.
I'm depressed and struggling to want to be alive again and to live. I have been neet for 11 months and got a wagecuck job but now i feel like a loser and like i am not moving forward. There is no help for me
>>27913691
Do you have a lot of disposable income now at least. I have a similar situation but all my income I can spend on food and whatever
If I had to be a wageslave and live in a shitty apartment alone that would be the end
>>27913605
Hope is all we can have these days, but even then the chances seem slim. I don't like where this world is going with all this regressive stuff
>>27913572
I'm not sure that's good. I've had a couple of close calls with death, and it's scary in a way not many people can imagine; try watching Enter The Void, I think that'll give you an idea of what it's like. Whether it convinces you to cancel that date of yours, or it motivates you to make sure things do get better before that date, I think it'll help.
Just in case you're liable to; don't watch it high. It affected me massively sober, so watching it high would probably cause some serious mental shit.
>>27913586
That's why I posted it. The hope that there's still beauty within monsters like us is something that needs to be recognised, I think. Hell, you could go so far as to say that's why we come on this board; maybe robots don''t need a gf, they just need someone to see that inner beauty. Just a thought.
>>27913728
Yeah i'm living with my parents and i'm saving every penny of what i earn because i was an idiot with my savings before and spent it on everything...i am now a miser but i feel as though it's too late. I want to teach in japan but i know that i an too depressed and sick to make that happen now. I feel lost and like there is no point
>>27913691
>>27913728
Find a way to minimise your expenditure, and save that money. Then do something with it that does matter to you; take up a hobby or a skill, give it to someone who needs it, just give yourself meaning.
I threw away thousands from a year of well-paid wageslaving before I quit. In hindsight, that was the single greatest mistake of my life, because as shitty as the job was, it gave me the opportunity to do great things. Instead I spent it all on shitty food, smokes, booze, and dumb shit like knives (/out/ shit). Looking back, I could have helped so many people with that money; hell, I could have paid for a year of rent for a homeless person, which I wish I had done. And even if you don't have that money, you have some. Make sure you use it well.
>>27913731
The chances right now are slim, I agree. But people will learn from the mistakes they're making now, some day. And good people like us are the ones who will show them the right way.
>>27913923
You can find yourself anon, that's a fact for as long as you exist. Just focus on your health, and find what makes you happy, then follow that as far as you can.
Shoot for the moon, land amongst the stars.
>>27912623
How can I find the drive to go n living OP? I feel like a spectator in my own life, and it's falling apart around me.
>>27914048
What matters to you? What do you see as important, what do you love, what makes you happy? Whether it's the future of the human race or a pink rose, if this thread has shown anything, it's that there's always a reason to hope. And once you have hope, you have everything you need to strap in and sort that life of yours out.
>>27912623
I have my faith wrapped up in getting away to a new place, I had a great time staying in a hostel last summer, people seem more accepting and it's an environment where I can comfortably be social reliantly. Plan on moving to a big city and staying in one as a full timer.
Having reliable contact with people really helps my mood to stay focused on my intellectual work which matters to me, being alone just results in defeatism, procrastination, hibernation.
>>27912623
It's possible to make a comeback boys. I think i've done it. I put myself into a personal regiment to help my social skills where for almost two years, whenever I had a conversation with somebody over steam, skype, or text I would always try to craft a response as fast as I could and say them out loud before i typed them. Eventually i got better and better until it almost seemed like I'd be able to hold a face to face conversation IRL. I tested it out on my sister and had the longest conversation I'd had with anybody since before i could remember (>20 mins!). I'm starting to test on normies now and it's going alright. But even though I can talk ok, i always end up staring at the floor making it awkward. Eye contact is harder than i thought. But things are improving! I held a natural convo with a stranger waitress for a bit over 5 mins yesterday. It feels good and things are only getting better. I hope I'm still young enough to salvage myself from the dark hole of loneliness that I've dug myself into already. Who knows, maybe I'll find some friends or a qt gf! There's still /hope/ for me, and I believe there is for you too.
>>27914105
Nothing really matters to me anymore though. I'm failing out of college, that doesn't give me the motivation to get out of bed to go to class. I play a lot of video games but not really anymore. I used to have fun making games or programming things in general but I don't anymore because everything I make is shit.
>>27913926
At least i'm not alone at least i learnt my lesson young. I want to regain the money i got as inheritance because i think it was wrong that i spent it like that..:i was terrible and awful with moneh and with other things. I can't get over what was done to me before even though i know i should since it happened so long ago.
I am not rich and never was and would never spend money to help a homeless person. To me that's a waste of money and maybe that makes me a bad person but i never had a ton of money. Just a little and always will
>>27914038
Nothing makes me happy. I tried shooting for the moon but i landed in a nuclear waste site..it was all useless and hurt me deeply. I want to not hurt anymore
>>27914129
That sounds amazing, and you've figured out what is probably going to take some other anons a few years. Hold on to it. I'm happy for ya.
Also good to not be the only person here with hope to share.
>>27914196
That's fucking genius, I'm stealing that idea. Very well done. About the eye contact; just make enough so the person knows you're talking to them, and don't do what I do, which is constantly check my surroundings, which makes the other person paranoid.
>>27914239
You're in exactly the same situation I was in a matter of weeks ago. What do you enjoy? What can you see yourself enjoying if you had the chance to try it? For me it's carpentry, so I'm gonna get a job and buy some tools.
If nothing in your life right now matters, that's okay. There's more to this world; you just have to make it work. Not saying that's easy, but knowing what you enjoy puts light at the end of the tunnel.
>>27914272
Not wanting to help someone doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you're not altruistic, which is fine; most people aren't, that was just a personal example.
You sound like you have a pretty good idea of what you want, for now at least; whatever's happened to you in the past, the only way it matters is how you let it affect your future. Make sure your past doesn't stop you from getting what you want.
>>27914294
Well I don't believe that nothing makes you happy, but let's say you're right, and that you're like the first anon to reply ITT. That doesn't mean you can't have hope, it just means your hope will be for something other than happiness. Frankly, happiness is just low hanging fruit anyway.
Purpose, virtue, peace, excitement, curiosity; 5 reasons to live right off the top of my head that have precisely dick to do with happiness, except that you might find happiness while you're working towards them.
So let's push the negativity aside; what matters to you? Duty? Discovery? Morality? Nature? Creativity?
Need to say this is one of the most patrician threads I've seen on here in a long time
>>27914684
That means a lot, especially with the Cicero pic, thanks!
I'm just tired of seeing the same old shit on this board when I know we can all be so much more. All the hatred and anger needs to be balanced out, and there's more to us than that.
The difference between us and normies isn't virginity or loneliness, it's being able to see more than just what is; being able to see what could be. In other words, hope. And we need to remember that; otherwise, what makes us any different?
>>27914612
Despite the risk of sounding edgy nothing matters to me much. Living really has no meaning to me i just struggle to make it through day to day and getting out of bed i can't think of reasons to keep on going. I guess the fear of dying a loser would be one. Not a good one and i'm thinking it might not be so bad to let those cruel to me win.
I have no purpose and idk what the hell virtue is as a reason to live
>>27914867
I've been there. I once spent a whole week lying on my couch (I sleep on there) playing vidya because I couldn't bear reality. But I'm not there now. Sure, the couch is 5 feet away from me, and I'll be on there again to sleep soon enough, but tomorrow I'll get up, and I'll do a bit better than I did today.
I'm not gonna tell you that things are going to magically turn around, because that'd be a lie. Maybe you have to struggle to make your life better one tiny step at a time; maybe it's a case of just surviving until an opportunity falls in to your lap. In any case, with hope, there is possibility; without hope, apathy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you're stuck.
Death wouldn't be a win for anyone; after all, nobody has tried to kill you. But if you don't try to live, and keep trying despite everything, you're just losing to yourself and reality.
Virtue is something to fight for; for me it's truth, and that's something I would die for. And if I'm willing to die for it, I'm sure as shit willing to live for it.
If you have nothing like that, then okay; most people go their entire lives without it. But it sounds like you need it, so if I had any advice, it would be to expand your mind. I'm not saying become a philosopher or anything, but read some Wikipedia pages, start somewhere and just follow curiosity; you'd be amazed by what you find out, not just about what you read, but about yourself. For example, one time I stumbled across Hegelian dialectics, and it somehow explained how I see human social experience; since then, I've never had a debate, instead trying to find common ground and build on it. Being argumentative is something that runs back several generations in my family, so this changed who I was completely.
Anyway, I'm rambling. My point is, change can come from the strangest of places. Just give yourself all the chances you can, and keep that hope alive.
>>27915195
As much as it's great that you wrote all this and i appreciate it i just don't see how it applies to me. I don't have any hope left in me to keep alive
I've lived the bookworm life where i learned a lot and thought a bunch and i've lived the normie party and social life. I feel empty about both lives and i don't see how i could merge them when i became so depressed and stressed and unhealthy. I just don't see any reason to keep alive at all it feels like suffering at this point and like all those around me are succeeding and moving on and i'm just stuck in a past that has left me scarred. I have nothing and nothing to work towards...
>>27912738
I have to say good job on your thread op, you've done well
>>27915428
It's 2am here. I just spent 10 minutes outside, smoking a cigarette and drinking a coffee, looking up at the stars with my dog.
We're not so different, you and I; I've been an academic, was on a list of the best budding mathematicians in the country at one point, and everyone else on that list is now finishing a degree at Oxford or Cambridge. Posh pricks; I've never been more than one bad day away from homelessness myself.
I've partied too. Went to a house party in a mansion once, another time in the woods with 2 dozen people hotboxing 2 tents.
I also once had a cough that closed up my throat. First time it hit, I had no idea what to do, and damn near choked to death. Another time I was walking and fell over the top of a storm drain; if I hadn't managed to grab a bunch of reeds and pull myself back up, I'd have fallen 40 feet on to concrete.
I'm telling you all of this because I saw none of these things coming. And this is life; just because you don't see something coming, doesn't mean it's not right around the corner. Good or bad, these are some of the defining moments of my life; they're responsible for a part of who I am, and god dammit, they were interesting.
It's not all interesting of course; I've also spent a year wageslaving and spending all of my spare money on booze. I've spent another year as a NEET getting high every day. Both of these were times when every day was the same, boring and plain. But again, these were defining moments, one way or another.
If you think you're truly trapped, then make a change. Quit your job, put a hammer through your computer; fuck it, you're considering death now. Sure, the consequences will be bad, but hey, at least it's interesting, it's a change from stagnation.
You can't have hope if nothing changes. And if you can't possibly conceive of any way to change for the better, then maybe it's time to change for the worse. Hit rock bottom, be homeless, whatever. At least it's not an empty life.
>>27915656
Hah, cheers.
See? Even in this shithole, there's still hope!
>>27915910
Maybe you've changed someones life today, or at least planted a seed. I have no idea where this river will take me, at least I'm too lazy to die
>>27916100
I hope so. And creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of hope is always nice.
Well, float on anon. Who knows where you'll beach?
yes i hope to walk better
>>27916184
Well, one step at a time anon. Literally.
bumperinoooo
bumparoo
bumpmodsoriginalamus
>>27917386
OP here, cheers!
>>27915886
Looks like you led an interesting life, and I think I see your point here
>just because you don't see something coming, doesn't mean it's not right around the corner.
But the thing about life is that you have to be involved in it for these things to happen, whether they're good or bad and I've been totally disengaged with life for the past 11 months. I've been attempting to get back into it the past few weeks but I'm sick with something and I just....I sometimes wonder what the point is. I feel like such a loser and everyone around me is successful, where I'm just back here reminiscing about the past and stuck on what happened before and how much it hurt.
>You can't have hope if nothing changes.
This is something that I think I'll take with me. But no, I'm not becoming homeless my parents would never allow that to happen. If they ever kicked me out I would have no reason to really live anymore. I've already hit rock bottom so I don't want to go back there ever again. Right now everything feels like a foggy blur, with bits of suicidal thoughts.
every day i feel different. i can't kill myself because the feelings always pass and the next day i have a slightly different mood and a slightly different perspective.
>this too shall pass my friends
>this too shall pass
>>27917831
>you have to be involved
That's what I'm saying; get involved. Involvement means choice, and choice means change. Even if it's mundane, like choosing to eat better or tidy more often, it's still a choice, you're getting involved in your life. And if it's progress, that's a bonus.
>I've been attempting to get back into it the past few weeks but I'm sick with something
So you fucked up; doesn't mean you failed. Failure is giving up. So get better, forgive yourself, and try again.
>reminiscing about the past
Meditation helps with this, and it is a bad habit. Looking back ties you to your past, meaning you can't move forwards. I know how you feel though, this is something I only learned recently.
>This is something that I think I'll take with me
Good. I know most of what I type won't mean anything, but I figure if I throw enough shit at the wall, something will stick. Glad I was right.
>my parents would never allow that to happen
I'm contemplating homelessness myself, and my parents stopping me isn't something I'd allow. This is your life, and even bad choices are yours to make; always be sure you have that right. Plenty of people have died because they were sure of this.
>Right now everything feels like a foggy blur, with bits of suicidal thoughts
Gonna have to recommend meditation for that one. As for suicidal thoughts; watch Enter the Void, because I reckon if you're considering something, you should at least get to know what you're getting in to. Suicide is a choice you have a right to make, but try to understand what you're choosing.
>>27918537
I will take your advice but i will not be homeless. That's something i could never recover from...it would be death
Good vibes OP
>>27919303
Well fair enough, it's a last resort manoeuvre of course.
Yeah man, get comfy! 5:30am here, 23 cups of coffee down.
