I'm an absolute mess and I'm progressively becoming crazier. I've been a NEET shut-in since high school (which is about 4 years). I'm a kissless, handholdless, virgin and the most social interaction I've had in years was going to the psych ward a month ago.
Ask me absolutely anything you want.
>>27899859
is shitposting still fun?
Why'd you go to a psych-ward, anon?
You had a Chad body, how did you become crazy? Did you develop schizophrenia or something?
>>27899881
I'm going to give super serious (autistic) answers this thread.
If you mean do I still find shitposting enjoyable then the answer is that everything online has become quite dull when it's the same thing over and over again. It's less enjoyable than when I was younger but so is everything else.
>>27899889
>Why'd you go to a psych-ward, anon?
I accidentally drank too much and cut my face and arms. I thought I was going to have die so I stumbled into the living room and told my parents to take me to the hospital but they called an ambulance
I was admitted to the ward for "not responding" which is because I was so socially retarded and so drunk I couldn't physically push the words out to speak to the nurses. I was honest to the psych and they determined that I had developing schizophrenia which later turned into a diagnosis of early psychosis. They couldn't pinpoint what was wrong with me and I didn't have serous symptoms of schizoprhenia.
>>27899927
>You had a chad body
I was also short and ugly and never socialized.
>how did you become crazy?
Depression led to isolation after school which led to increased craziness. I probably have some psychosis.
This is my room
My parents cleaned it out when I went to the ward; They found my piss bottles.
You're that Op from the hypothetical thread
>>27899859
>psych ward a month ago
How was that? Any idea what made things go downhill for you? Any meds helped?
>>27900052
>I thought I was going to have die so I stumbled into the living room
...but not before taking a selfie, you attention whore.
>>27899859
My question is: What makes you think somebody who has spent four years living the basement life will have enough interesting things to say to keep a thread going?
>>27899859
How old are you?
What sparked the isolation/disconnection after school?
What did you do after school - did you go to university?
What's it like inside a psych ward?
Do you ever envision things getting better?
>>27900276
Yep
>>27900345
It was enjoyable. I studied Algebra which is apparently uncommon. Otherwise it's very boring and people just sit around until they go outside and smoke.
>Any idea what made things go downhill for you?
No. Everything just started getting darker from high school onward
>Any meds helped?
The anti-depressant has helped. The anti-psychotic makes me miserable and agitated constantly but I'm still an involuntary outpatient so I have to do what they say.
>>27900361
That photo was taken last night
>>27900373
It's interesting to people who will never experience this kind of life... I think.
how do you go from chad to fat in one year to semi normal and all cut up and sooty?
>>27900052
You must have had something going on in your head prior to that, I've been a NEET for nearly five years and haven't gone insane like you.
>>27900253
I see that drawing senpai
>>27900375
>How old are you?
Almost 21
>What sparked the isolation/disconnection after school?
Depression. I just wanted to kill myself honestly so I shut off and did things like binge eat and drink which I abstained from during my fitness days
>What did you do after school - did you go to university?
I'm a manchild. I've never experienced anything past high school life and even then I was exercising and playing games while people were socializing
>Do you ever envision things getting better?
In some ways yes but I'm a ticking time bomb of mental issues and I know things can only get worse from here in that regard.
>>27900460
>how do you go from chad to fat in one year
The first photo was taken early 2013 when I was fresh out of school. The second photo was taken after a year and a bit of binge eating and drinking until I would vomit.
Between the second and third photo I was kicked out of home by my dad, lived with my mum for a bit, eating better and doing some exercise and then she got sick of me so I'm back with my dad. I've only begun cutting recently and last night was just another episode where I have compulsions that I have to act on because they obsess my thoughts for weeks.
>>27900527
She's my waifu.
We you tried switching the images around?
>>27900549
She's not pure anymore, anon. Time to move on
>>27900592
She died with her purity intact and her soul ascended to heaven.
What you see of her now is nothing but her corpse left over.
>>27900549
Very simliar story here OP. Highschool is hard, family is all jacked up.
You don't need happy pills. You need to see a therapist pronto, and talk to them about your parents. And you need to want to stop hurting yourself. Find outlets for your energy and attention that are fun, but not so outrageously self destructive. Cut the alcohol, pick up cigarettes and pot instead.
Take it from someone whos been through this. Don't play this game with your own life. Don't take these chances. You need to be willing to look after yourself. Its "cute" and selfie worthy now, but it wont be when you're 30. It's not just going to stop on its own somehow, especially the drinking. You have to end it. Dont let this be the thing that fucks up your life forever.
>>27899859
>kissless,handholdless virgin
>the pic from 2013
yeah,right...
get out chad
>>27900713
It's possible, just look at /fit/
*farts*
lmao
it stinks
ewww
maaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, i was in bed about to pass out while reading this comfy and decent thread on my phone. i was too lazy to post but then this >>27900662 retard posted so i actually got up and am at my computer at 4:51
>>27900662
You need to see a therapist pronto, and talk to them about your parents
honestly, whenever ANYONE EVER posts this advice its when u know they are 100% bullshit retarded, and have no idea what ur talking about.
this guy is seriously telling you that talking with some 30 or 40 something who has a active sex life and has fucked endless ammounts of top tier guys will help you. that this person will understand your problems as a kv neet and bond with you.
you mean in a average 30 minute session that you PAY for you think its going to solve anything? the only advice u will get is "uuuhHHH JUSSS BE URSELF AND b HAAPY XDD"
sorry, but that post honestly triggered me and i had to point that out. also op i feel you, i got some questions for u i guess
- if u achieved such a asthetic body, why dont u try tinder or some online dating bullshit? u could probably end up with someone willing to hold your hand atleast
- wats ur opinion about ur future? r u going to do any kind of work? neet for the rest of ur life?
also, im25 kv neet on bux been homeless a lot in my youth
>>27899859
Did you manage to lose weight since 2014? Or is that sweatshirt just tricking me? And what's that black residue on your face in the 2016 pic?
>>27900769
Also 25, also been homeless. Still get all my food from the trash.
Im banned for shitposting on a, but I am havking this out on my phone at 2am.
Yea, therapy isnt rhe best. Not all shrinks give a shit. Especially psychiatrists. But if his parents will pay for it, its better than nothing, and can possibly really help.
The fact that someone is married and having sex does not automatically mean they can not understand or help us. Its dumb to get so triggered over thst, and to alienate people completely over that. OPs problems are almost certainly family issues, not primarily virgin issues. Blogposting on r9k can also be really helpful. I wish I had this place when I was binge drinking, binge eating, and self mutilating
>>27900052
>Depression
Why don't you tell us what really happened to you instead of using this mythical word?
>>27900858
>. But if his parents will pay for it, its better than nothing, and can possibly really help.
well i can tell you from a lot of first hand experience, talk therapy, psychologists and the rest of this "therapy" shit is all GARBAGE. like a 54 year old women cannot make my life better by listening to my problems
in fact for me, just being on r9ksince 2008gives me like 1000 times more than any therapist ever could, because i can relate and talk to people like me who understand me
>OPs problems are almost certainly family issues, not primarily virgin issues
well, he def has family issues, but he is a kv, although he is 20, which is still young
>The fact that someone is married and having sex does not automatically mean they can not understand or help us
maybe their advice can be okay, but they can get married and laid lots of times, they arent robots, and non-robots DO NOT understand robot life
>>27900052
>I was also short
now it makes sense
>>27900844
Middle pic wasn't even me at my fattest. I was borderline morbidly obese at one point but just by not eating I dropped down to just chubby now.
>>27900858
A lot of the psychs were confused when I told them I was a shut-in. I thought this was more common to them.
>>27900880
I just started feeling down. I felt compelled to shut myself off from everyone and didn't go to exams half way through the year because I was so sure I would drop out but was forced to finish. Everything just started getting darker, I stopped exercising regularly and cut off all communications with the few friends I had. I didn't go to graduation or do any of that prom shit, I just shut off.
>>27900906
>a 54 year old women cannot make my life better by listening to my problems
This is what I'm worried about.
>>27900931
i hope ur not ignoring me and that one day my questions will be answered
>>27900769
>>27900858
The point of talking to a therapist is to vent and get positive feedback, and possibly a diagnose on what might be the problem.
It's not to make a new friend. It's to be analyzed so issues can be resolved.
>>27900957
Point out the questions
>>27900988
- if u achieved such a asthetic body, why dont u try tinder or some online dating bullshit? u could probably end up with someone willing to hold your hand atleast
- wats ur opinion about ur future? r u going to do any kind of work? neet for the rest of ur life?
>>27900966
>The point of talking to a therapist is to vent and get positive feedback
so they listen to your blog and respond positively?
>and possibly a diagnose on what might be the problem
are you saying op doesnt know what his problems are
therapy = useless. psychiatrists atleast sling dope. REAL drugs. psychologists just sit there, nod their head, say "awwww, thats really hard, just be happy, that'll be 150$"
>>27900966
>Diagnose
Thats the problem with the medical industy and shrinks. They want to slap their meme disease labels on you, that exist to justify pill pushing.
OP doesnt have this or that brain disease. His brain is fine. Hes got issues that hes taking out on himself
>>27899859
You're like me except I've been neeting since I dropped out of HS 7 years ago.
I do keep my room clean and tidy, tho, and I've started to feel better mentally in the past 2 years since I found inner peace though acceptance of the inevitable. I sort of feel like I'm living the life of a monk for the modern age.
>>27901008
Youre assuming that all shrinks are greedy, disingenuous BS artists. Those for sure exist in no small number, but there are also people who have that job because theyre actually interested in helping people. Youve just gotta find a good one.
>>27900253
>Timtams
New Zealand or Australia?
>>27901037
Youre assuming that all women are greedy, disingenuous BS artists. Those for sure exist in no small number, but there are also women who are failthful and loyal and pure. Youve just gotta find a good one.NOT ALL THERAPISTS ARE LIKE THAT, BRO
>>27899859
What happened mate, did the gains goblins get to you?
>>27901008
>if u achieved such a asthetic body, why dont u try tinder or some online dating bullshit?
At my peak of attractiveness I couldn't even get a date with a girl, I doubt I'm going to succeed in the state I'm in nor do I want to put effort into pursuing sex.
>wats ur opinion about ur future?
I'll inevitably kill myself some day
>r u going to do any kind of work? neet for the rest of ur life?
I want to go and study computer networking. If I can't learn then I'll go back to the ward and get diagnosed as psychotic and get on disability welfare.
>>27901052
Straya
>>27901072
Funnily enough, /fit/ actually made me really overthink training and the downfall of /fit/ to feelfaggotry played a part of my lack of interest in fitness.
>>27901008
>so they listen to your blog and respond positively?
Pretty much.
>are you saying op doesnt know what his problems are
No, and I'm not quite sure where you got that idea from, I was responding to YOU, not OP.
>therapy = useless
It honestly depends, a lot of people can benefit from therapy as they do not have anywhere to vent properly (blogging on an imageboard is not venting).
But of course, results may vary, if you gained nothing from it - that's fine, I don't care.
>>27901092
>blogging on an imageboard is not venting
you mean saying exactly whats on your mind, completely unfiltered because you are anonymous and free from any judgements, to a audience that not only responds but moreso than not sympathizes with you is NOT THERAPEUTIC?
you mean saying pc cencored bullshit to some 50 year old roastie whos fat and knows NOTHING about being alone or any of op's problems, is therapeutic?
k bud
okayy~~~~~~
and remember kidooss~~~
JUST
B
URSELFF
>>27901092
There's probably some definite benefit to seeing a therapist. Just being able to talk about issues you generally don't talk about and find solutions you haven't thought of is good enough but ultimately I think a diagnosis would give one peace of mind
And blogging is venting. Both have their positives and negatives. The anonymity on here is definitely a positive.
>>27899859
What is your current weight and height? Give the numbers.
>>>27900052
>I accidentally drank too much and cut my face and arms
did you cut your arms and face on purpose because you were too drunk and got emo?
or were u super drunk and fell on something?
how badly did you cut up your face anyways?when i get emo, which is every other day, i look up the most reliable ways of suicide. right now i think the best way is with a high powered crossbow through the mouth straight into the brainstem, followed by jumping
>>27901231
5'7"
75kg measured a month ago
I used to be 110kg
>>27901258
I wanted to cut myself so I got drunk to feel less. I drank a little more each time I cut.
I used a serrated knife because I'm a scrublord and most of the cuts were superficial, it just looked bad more than anything. The cuts on my face have healed now and my arms still need some more time since I made a shiv in the ward to cut myself all up and down my arms but again, superficial cuts.
>>27900931
So, let's talk about my case and compare, people think i am depressed yet i refuse this, i'm extremely sad and upset and can't enjoy shit, but i spent too much time analyzing my situation to call my state "depression".
I am simply mentally and physically disabled, this is why i can do anything of what i'm interested in.
-Impossible to do sports/ go innawoods.
-Impossible to handle confrontations because i can't physically nor verbally defend myself, which puts me in constant stress.
-Impossible to have psychological/physical interaction with women due to all the social skills/physical qualities (skinny) i didn't acquire due my disabilities, my thirst for femininity is unbearable right now, i am not an asshole, but i reached a point where i could rape somebody, with regret and affection.
I have no doubt that 99% of the people diagnosed with depression are just people who are disabled in a way or another, it is not an illness in itself.
Having been redpilled recently, i discovered the joy of the struggle, fighting is the essence of life, this is why i'm not giving up, if my health improves, i'm planning to get fit, have some military training, and go to a warzone for the maximum adrenaline lifestyle, you could do this instead of killing yourself, why don't you for exemple, set as a goal the killing of a cartel member, or an isis trooper, or anyother thrilling project, go postal, virtuously, seriously why don't you fake convert to islam, join isis, kill a few of them, rape a few of their women, and die in a glorious last stand, i'm not even joking, it's a goal of mine.
>>27901560
ur a fucking retard
i feel like calling u that is a bit too harsh, but god dammit ur a fucking retard
>>27901612
I am, but you are not helping me here.
>>27901560
I applied for the military but was rejected for not having not enough social activities and work experience. Now with all this mental health bullshit there's zero chance of me getting in and I'm glad I didn't join because I couldn't handle it and can actually accept I'm a mental retard
Also, you're p dumb
>>27901748
>Also, you're p dumb
110 IQ here, semi autistic, socially dumb, no doubt about it.
>I applied for the military
This isn't the only adventure you can pursue, why don't you to challenge yourself in a non formal way? try living deeply in a forest for a week for example, life is a fucking game, it is impossible to get bored if you are brave enough.
>>27901873
>u depressed brah?
>go live in the forest
>>27901913
I am talking from experience, the excitement that camping-hiking brings is en-equable, it reinvigorates the primitive instincts and puts you in the boots of the hunter-killer you were mean to be, purging you from the all the homo feminine egocentric feeling/concepts that plague the mind of the modern city dweller, it's about re framing.
No mater what you think, you have the DNA of a killer, you have hundreds of alpha males as ancestors (millions if we go back as far as the cambrian?) who outperformed others, and their DNA is living in your cells.
>>27902023
>be depressed
>go for hike
>cure depression
Fucking "doctors" are just puppets of the elite
all is not lost OP
the gym and the macros are always going to be there, awaiting your return. it's up to you what you want to be
>>27899859
Hey what meds do they have you on? Thanks for posting your story btw it is interesting. More or less mine is similar. When I was about your age I tried to commit suicide and had several mental break downs which all involved cutting and drinking.
It's been a few years and I'm doing a lot better so it actually CAN get better you can sort of live a semi normal life eventually. Good luck to you.
>>27900549
>Tfw when my situation is almost exactly the same as OP's but the only difference is I have been a neet manchild after high school for three years
O my god i made reverse progress aswell OP, its the worst feel.
I had been in the gym for 3 years, i pulled 505lbs and benched 405lbs.
Im 6'5 and i was 260lbs on my way to becoming bearmode. Everywhere i would go i was the tallest, biggest, strongest guy in the room.
Then i hit the ol' depression and i just couldnt bring myself to go to the gym anymore. Now ive been out of the gym for 2 years and im back at lanky skelly mode. Im having trouble with 20 pushups and i get tired when i walk up the stairs. I feel awful. I havent even left the house in a year.
>>27902772
Desvenlafaxine and aripiprazole
And I realized about an hour ago I forgot to take my meds so I'm probably going to have this headache all night
>>27902772
>it can get better
Lies. Everything only ever gets worse
