My cock
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
I can't stop it. My cock is throbbing and fully erect almost all the time now. My cock needs pussy. I need pussy. Please someone give me pussy. I have been a virgin for as long as I can remember and I've endured it. But now I need pussy. I'll die if I don't get pussy soon.
Anons and femanons I'm willing to make a deal with you. I' going to GIVE AWAY FREE NUDES OF PIC RELATED but only if you manage yo hook me up with a girl. All applicants must meet the following requirements:
>All applicants must submit a pic of the girl (clothing optional) and their age
>All girls must be under 30 years-old unless I consider them a MILF
>the girl must be, at the very least, a 6/10
>No traps
>girl must be wiling to have sex on a regular basis
>the girl must be consenting and aware of the deal-No tricking girls into the arrangement.
>All applicants must have a place available where the sex will take place i.e hotel, motel,etc...
>Applicants must live in NY, preferably Upper East Side
>This goes without saying but no fat chicks
Seems like this thread is working out pretty well for ya eh?
>>27859879
assholes....
Original commenyt
>>27859753
>I have been a virgin for as long as I can remember
>Mfw reading this
>>27859753
Holy shit, didn't we tell you what to do? Getting laid is easy. Whatever you're doing here is creepy as all fuck and won't help you to get laid.
>>27859753
Rape incoming
seriously, noone wants nudes? I thought this was /r9k/
>>27860049
is not rape if the grill is consenting
Plz guys I just want to get laid you can sympathize
get nudes for railing
how about no you stupid autist, i will bang the girl and make shots then send it to you
fuck off
>>27860052
>I thought this was /r9k/
Precisely, you dimwit. You're asking fat loser permavirgin wizards to hook you up with girls ?
Anyway, time to post these nudes.
>>27860116
I'm so broken I think I'll enjoy being cucked
>>27860052
Exactly, this is /r9k/, not /b/.
>>27859753
This is pathetic, even for /r9k/ standards
>>27860175
I know I'm a broken man plz just give me sex
>>27860693
We all are desperate but we're not pathetic
>>27859753
>virgin
>no fat chicks
Fat chicks are great, and you are probably a 2/10 anyway so stop being a douche. THAT'S why you're a virgin still
>>27860772
Fat chicks are only good for BJ and I'm not a 2/10
>>27860779
>and I'm not a 2/10
Then go out and get laid. It's literally the easiest thing in the world if you're not ugly and/or severly autistic.
>>27859753
You're in quicksand, anon. The more desperate you get, the less likely you are to get a girl. And nobody is going to whore a woman out to your for pictures.
If you need a pussy, call an escort service. Get it out of your system.
>>27859753
Why don't you just get laid at a brothel if you're that desperate?
Ey yo imma girl lemme get a hot load of your horsey sauce all up in my arbys roast beef.
>>27860791
>Then go out and get laid. It's literally the easiest thing in the world
Maybe it's easy for you,Chad Thundercock
>>27860807
>>27860818
Maybe you guys are right. I think I'll go see a prostitute and try to make her my gf
>>27860890
>Try to make her my gf
No, no, no. You are talking about sex. Not about love. With VERY rare exception, escorts do not fall in love with their clients. Their pussy and simulated affection is simply something to be purchased. Don't expect more, because you aren't gonna be the one to get it.
>>27860890
>Maybe it's easy for you,Chad Thundercock
Just go out to a couple of parties, events like fairs or whatever, or hit up some bars or clubs. Flirt with the women there and take one home who's into you. Why do you make it sound so complicated? Are you disfigured or something?
>>27860968
Bad advice. He's too desperate. He reeks of it.
>>27860915
This sex=\=love or affection
Sex without it is closer to mutual masturbation which can be less enjoyable depending on your partner.
>>27860915
Then what's the point? Yeah I'll get pleasure and I'll be satisfied for some time. But one day my cock will hunger for pussy again and it'll make everything pretty much moot. Thta's why I need gf.
>>27860968
That's what's makes it more frustrating. I'm not disfigured, I'm not fat, I don't have acne, I don't have any mental disorders yet no gf
>>27859753
>virgin
>so desperate he goes to r9k a place of virgin losers in their basements
>expects them to help him hook up with a girl despite them being the exact same as OP
>in return for actual sex all you get is to fap to a girl instead of fucking the girl that you could have hooked up with for OP
>>27860890
>make her my gf
Prostitutes are just whores for hire. They will never care about you because their eyes are always on the money. They may like you personally but to you they're just clients and it's all a business transaction. It will never be past what they consider a business relationship.
OP, you're that desperate for a hunk of flesh aren't you? I understand that it feels good and I have done it only once with a whore but after you realize that you realize you don't need the vagina. The fact you want it so much is what allows women to easily take advantage of you.
>>27861041
>Then what's the point?
You were asking /r9k/ to whore you a 6+/10 woman under 30 in exchange for nudes. Something tells me you weren't expecting love to flow forth from that deal.
You've got a near-non-stop boner, and desperation so bad that nobody will touch you. Take care of the non-stop boner, and see sex for what it is.
Then realize that you can have sex on tap, so long as you have the money.
Then you won't put women on pedestals, because you'll only be looking for a viable personality who can manage to get you erect.
tl;dr the entire point is for you to stop thinking with your cock, and to quit being so fucking desperate.
>>27861041
>That's what's makes it more frustrating. I'm not disfigured, I'm not fat, I don't have acne, I don't have any mental disorders yet no gf
Then try to keep your hormones and check and avoid coming across as desperate. Keep meeting new girls and try getting in a relationship with one that you like. You'll have all the sex that you want to have plus a relationship. It's a win-win situation.
>>27861117
>Then realize that you can have sex on tap, so long as you have the money.
I don't have an infinite supply of money, hiring a hooker once or twice might work but it's not sustainable.
>see sex for what it is.
What do you mean?
is this really going to be a pasta? its so weak
>>27861162
Thanx anon, you're pretty much the only person who hasn't treated me like subhuman trash
>>27861172
>I don't have an infinite supply of money, hiring a hooker once or twice might work but it's not sustainable.
You can hire them as long as you have the money. 300/hr is top of the line pretty much everywhere (save Las Vegas), and I guarantee that she can finish you off under an hour if she's charging those prices.
>What do you mean?
Sex is to you what "stuff" is to women. Men are programmed on an instinctive level to crave sex. Women are programmed on an instinctive level to crave stuff (as it is a measurement of success, meaning their children will not starve or be in constant danger). No matter what woman you are with, she is going to want to exchange her youth, beauty, and loyalty for your hard work, devotion, and success. And that's all sex is.
If you can't afford a hooker once per month (remember, 300/hr is top of the line), then I don't know how you expect to find love.
>>27861196
Yes, I want it to become a meme
>>27861279
I can once per month but with my sex drive that's not gonna be enough I need nymphomaniac gf
>>27861364
No. What you need is to stop your boner. Once you see that sex is good, but not a whole lot better than your skilled hand and a good porn, then you will realize that you don't need to pour that kind of money into prostitutes.
Instead, you'll scratch your own itch and strive to be successful enough to attract one.
>>27861399
I fapped only once and I only got like 2 secs of gud feels I know that sex is infinitely better
>>27860779
You've probably never even had a bj so you have no idea what you're talking about.
If you're as hard up as you appear, you really need to rethink your standards and your idea of what you are.
Either you're looking for a gf or you're looking for sex. If you just want to get laid, which your talk about your cocktail seems to suggest, get a hooker.
If you want a gf, find a gf and worry about the sex later. And don't expect anons on the Internet to whore a friend out to you for some shitty nudes.
>>27861446
>I know that sex is infinitely better
Firstly, no, you don't. You're a self-admitted virgin.
Secondly, if sex actually is "infinitely better" to you, then you have no idea how to jerk off.
>>27861473
You don't understand. It's not just sex. I need a reliable source of sex. Someone I can fuck on a daily basis. Hookers are one-time only and their costly. gfs are free and you can have sex multiple times as long as she's willing
>>27861446
2 seconds? You won't even get the tip in before exploding when it comes to sex
>>27861508
I know, I'm a mess
my dick is so hard right now and i'm so horny, can't resist this early morning urge anon.
I'm dry humping the pillow, if i get a pussy would ravage it.
>>27861505
>I need a reliable source of sex.
No. You don't. You WANT a reliable source of sex. You NEED to have sex, to know what it's like.
>>27861508
I heard some shit about thinking unsexy thoughts to last longer. I've been trying to watch lots of porn to desensitize me from the female beauty
>>27861505
There's no source more reliable than hookers.
I think you just have unrealistic expectations.
Sign up for some dating sites, recognize that you're not a 6/10, and stop requiring that women have to pass certain criteria for you to be interested. Get to know some women and stop acting like a horny fucking teenager. Unless you are one, in which case just stfu
>>27861581
You're not gonna desensitize unless you jerk off, man. Otherwise, you're like a man in a desert trying to desensitize himself to water by staring at a bottle of water in a bucket of ice.
>>27861581
All porn does is give you unrealistic expectations of what sex is like. It doesn't desensitized you. You'll just end up depressed that you're not like the guys in porn.
>Your dick isn't 10 inches.
>she's not going to moan and scream from 30 sec of thrusting
>you're not going to use 20 different positions
>she's probably not going to let you cum on her face
>You're not going to last 30 min. 2 if you're lucky
>>27861632
Not him, but that isn't me at all. That said, having experienced sex, I have to mute any "professional" videos. Otherwise, I just wind up laughing. Women make those noises, but they don't do it for 20+ minutes straight. If you base your sexual expectations on what you see in something like Naughty America, it would be like expecting your high school life to be similar to Sam Whitwickey in Transformers, where your life will be filled with adventure, a sexy car, and a girlfriend that looks like a porn star that loves you because reasons.
>>27859753
JUST GIVE US THE DAMN NUDES ALREADY YOU TEASE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>27861678
>If you base your sexual expectations on what you see in something like Naughty America
Unfortunately a lot of men do. Especially the younger ones.
>>27861732
Not until you get me gf
>>27862326
It ain't happening johnny boy
>>27862673
Nigga
original comment
>>27861732
>>27862673
The no nudes for you wise guys, keep looking at your cockteased erect micropenis blue balls
