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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
>tfw your boyfriend always orders kid food when you go out to a restaurant
>tfw bf tries to cook for you, but always fucks it up horrendously
>tfw forcing yourself to eat it anyway, "it's really good, anon!"
>tfw hoping you don't get sick later
>>27840451
At least he tries to cook for you.
>>27840343
Sage goes in the options field, guys
trannies are way too obsessed with sakuya for some reason
why are you all so crazy about her?
>>27840467
He really should just leave the cooking to me. I like to cook.
>>27840453
Your bf sounds like an emotionally manipulative, needy muthafucka. Drop his ass.
>tfw asking bf for mascara while he's upstairs
>tfw he returns with a travel size hair gel
a-at least he tried -.-'
>>27840507
>Boyfriend cooks for you
>He sucks at it
>Instead of offering constructive criticism and help and using this as an opportunity for you to do something together you pretend to like it and get annoyed whenever he cooks for you and bitch about it on /r9k/
Teach him to cook, Anonette! He likes to do it, too, but he needs some help. ;_;
>tfw your boyfriend loves traps
>tfw you're considering asking him if he wants to have a threesome with one
>tfw you're not sure if you want to use a strap-on on the trap or have them both fuck you
>tfw you're secure enough in your relationship that either is appealing
>>27840577
He takes even the gentlest of criticisms very personally. I've tried. He's just too sensitive.
>>27840343
I had a gf that did that. So annoying.
Decent Mexican restaurant with really good food? Fucking kids bean and cheese burrito.
>>27840661
Tell him his constant butthurt-ness is obnoxious and he needs to figure it out. Get him some therapy if he needs it.
Or just dump his bitch ass.
Or don't say anything and be miserable, I don't really care.
>>27840851
He started going to therapy. His second session is tomorrow actually. Here's to hoping.
FUCK YOU ALL OF YOU LIVE ROMANTIC LIVES FILLED WITH ALL THE ATTENTION YOU COULD EVER WANT
>>27840549
What's the difference between them? Is one larger?
>tfw your bf binge watches all of the shows you start together while you're out working
>tfw you can't really get back into them bc he's so far ahead
come on, now...one of us has to work.
>>27840891
>tfw no gf to support me in therapy
>tfw your bf won't let you lick his asshole
What do?
>fembot feels thread
>all posts are about the relationships they get to have, because easymode
lol
>>27840343
>>27840451
>>27840467
>>27840507
>>27840549
>>27840983
Why do you even come here? I'm curious. I can understand lurking and laughing at nerds but what is the point of these threads? It seems like there's better places on the internet to talk about such things. Are you just trying to upset the lonely people on here? Am I being trolled?
I'm not mad or anything, just quizzical.
>>27841265
Same brah, same.
>bf is sweet vanilla-level pure
>bf has low sex drive
>tfw so many horrific fetishes
>tfw constantly want to fuck
How do I become less disgusting and lewd?
>>27841257
basically this but with visible sage
>>27841265
I've been coming here for almost ten years. I started out as a lonely basement dweller. Found another lonely basement dweller of the opposite sex. Started a relationship. Now we just hate everyone, together.
>>27841352
leave him and be my gf instead?
>>27841265
literally none of them are female or in relationships
it's a bunch of trolls pretending because every fembot thread gets hundreds of replies
are you that stupid?
>>27841352
Become my gf so we can do dirty shit together.
>>27841352
>tfw so many horrific fetishes
>it's a "teehee i'm so f'd up i like light choking and bondage ;)" episode
>>27841421
>im such a bad girl >: (
>i like being held down and fucked by chad like literally every other girl
>>27841383
>Found another lonely basement dweller of the opposite sex
It's easy for women. You can have your pick if you're not fat. Even fat women have it pretty easy these days and expect Chad.
>>27841421
>>27841446
If it was just that I wouldn't have a problem.
It's cringeworthy shit like sissification and piss, and unethical shit like snuff.
And being sadistic and dominant, I'm all backwards in regards to the male/female dynamic.
It's unnatural and gross.
lf ldr mommy gf
>>27841533
Rawr look at me I'm a deviant fembot oh so special ;) =^_^=
>that feeling of when sick as fuck
>tfw no mommy gf to take care of me
>>27841592
Oh you.
Maybe I should just go vegetarian, I heard that can have an anaphrodesiac effect.
>>27841533
>sissification
>literally being female
>piss
>literally a vanilla fetish
>snuff
>googled "weird fetishes"
lmaooo thoooo
>>27841533
whats your DA?
>>27841683
Googling weird fetishes brings up wacky lists of greek prefix-philias, it doesn't talk about the pretty common fetish for death that's basically woven into our culture but never comes up in conversation.
America fucking loves torture porn and violent death.
>>27840343
>tfw your boyfriend doesn't like strawberries, oranges, grapes, coffee, chocolate, blueberries, lemons, or mangos
>he will eat the chocolate off chocolate covered strawberries and leave the rest like a child
>he has to hold his pencil like he's holding a violin bow but still has shitty handwriting
>is 280lbs so all he wants to do is sleep all day
We dated when we were between ages 18-22 so it's not like we were young teenagers. I think he had some sort of autism tbqh
>calls self "bot"
>has a boyfriend and complains about his robot behaviour, you can't be a "bot" like this roastie FUCK OFF REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>27840577
>your bf loves traps
Dump him
Reminder, guys. Also wizard master race.
dont use sakuya for this shitty thread you cunt omfg she would never have a bf
You have a crush on a /g/eek but you're black with social anxiety so you just obsess about it in your head.
>>27842101
>black
That's your problem there m80
>>27840343
Art thread???
Oh yes indeed
>>27840343
>fem
>bot
pick literally one and only one
Be you angels?
And we said NAAYYY
We are but men....
Let me not then die ingloriously and without a struggle, but let me first do some great thing that shall be told among men hereafter.
>>27842167
Is there any cure, doc?
>>27841798
>surprised when her beta provider forager bf was a NEET god and didnt play in her stupid childish food games
Laughed
>>27842556
Not at the moment, no. At the very least you have a sense of humor about it. Good on you
>>27842250
BE YOU FEMBOTS
NAY
WE ARE BUTT NORMALSHITS
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>27840983
>come on, now...one of us has to work.
If he stays at home i'm mad jelly
>tfw you will never get to be astay-at-home dad
>>27840549
>mixing up mascara and hair gel
>tfw your bf wants to give you a milk enema
>>27840577
I'm a trap and he can sit in the corner while he watches me please you like he never could
I guarantee I'm bigger than him~
>>27841664
>mommy gf
I'm tired of this meme
>>27841265
they're not actually women. fuck you guys are gullible
>tfw you have to put on a pound of makeup to look presentable
I really wish society didn't impose this upon women.
>>27840343
get out sage sage sage
>>27844784
>impose this upon women
that's a good one
>boyfriend has a gay friend over
>the gay friend's parents have been arguing a lot lately so he wanted to a place so boyfriend let him sleepover for the weekend while his parents settle down
>the gay friend is playing Second Life on his laptop while boyfriend and I are just talking on bed
>boyfriend starts taking off my top and bra
>he starts asking his gay friend tons of personal questions like "what do you think of my girlfriend's boobs" "have you ever touched breasts before?"
>boyfriend and I just do our own thing around the house while I'm still topless
>later at night, boyfriend invites gay friend into our bed and he asks him if he has ever had sex with a girl before
>gay friend says 'no' and boyfriend ask if he would like to know what pussy is like
>gay friend looks to me and says "as long as you're both okay with it"
>I tell them it's okay even though I don't really want to do it since I don't want to the relationship to be open
>boyfriend looks at gay friend and tells him "okay, I'll warm her up for you" and he starts undressing me completely, eating me out, and fingering me
>in the mean time, gay friend is getting undressed and putting on a condom
>when I'm completely wet, boyfriend gets off of me and lets gay friend have sex with me
>>27840451
At least you have someone to cook for you. Or someone just to be around.
My boyfriend eats almost all of his meals with hot sauce or added peppers. It's starting to affect his sinuses and anus. His anus is very dry and it's uncomfortable for him to just wipe with toilet paper. His shit is always pasty and sticky. He also occasionally has bright red blood in his poop. Sometimes when he wipes, the blood soaks the toilet paper enough to wet his fingers. He is constantly sniffing and snorting which is annoying . He said he would quit using so much hot sauce with everything if food wasn't so bland.
I love him, but he is slowly killing himself by eating too much spicy foods.
>>27841533
>And being sadistic and dominant, I'm all backwards in regards to the male/female dynamic.
Yeah, sure you are, until Chad holds you down and rapes your butthole and you love it.
Females literally cannot be dominants.
Here is my problem, my BF last 5 minutes in bed and his dick is maybe 5 inches the oy reason I'm with him is becuase he buys me stuff all the time.. its sad that I have to resort to letting his best friend fuck me and his dick is thick and at least 8"
>>27845936
Nice roleplay cuck fetish post, anon.
I'm sorry but there are forums specifically for this, please refrain from doing it here. I'm sure you'd be much happier if you found a partner to explore your kink with than just throwing it out there.
>>27845968
Don't get it virgin, what is it shocking to you that a woman would stay with their BF for money and security, and fuck his best friend becuase he makes me cum?
>>27841533
>If it was just that I wouldn't have a problem.
>It's cringeworthy shit like sissification and piss, and unethical shit like snuff.
>And being sadistic and dominant
I want a gf like this more than anything. Especially if you're genuinely evil.
>>27841533
>tfw no dom necro gf to sit on your face after you take an ice bath for her
>>27845765
>can't handle spicy food
Your bf's a puss. I'm blonde/blue and love Viet, Szechuan, Tex-Mex and all of that pepper overkill stuff. Sugar's the only thing that fucks me up, but sugar is for girls, anyway, so it's fine. The point is, he needs to burn the weakness out of his intestines...with more spice!
>having sex with bf
>really turned on
>he pulls out
>sticks it in my ass
>>27846306
>do this with my gf
>she cums and murmurs "you're so strong"
Feels good.
>>27846332
>tfw im stronger than you
>tfw i could choke you out and fuck your gf and shed love it
>>27846361
Good thing that will literally never happen. I'd say something about how I carry personal defense equipment but you'll just meme more about how I wouldn't have a chance like we're 5 and playing powerlevel.
Enjoy your fetish, anyways.
>>27845438
Top tier bait, roastie.
>>27846361
>you'd go to jail for rape
>get your asshole fucked by burly black men every morning for ten years
Enjoy.
Apparently some girl has been pretending to be me and convinced my boyfriend to have sex with my best friend.
Someone dressed up as me and went to my best friend's house for a talk. She told my best friend that I basically cheated on my boyfriend and the only way for my boyfriend to forgive me if he can have a free pass and that he wanted to have sex with my best friend . The best friend agreed to have sex with my boyfriend. The other me convinced my boyfriend to go through with it by telling my boyfriend that I have a cuckquean fetish and want to watch my man balls deep in another girl. So my imposter, my boyfriend, and best friend get in a room together and my imposter watches them have sex. I didn't know about any of this going on until I came home and see my imposter sitting at my computer chair watching my boyfriend having sex with my best friend.
The worst part is that my imposter poked holes in the condom with my boyfriend knowing and my best friend is pregnant with my boyfriend. Before she ran out of my house , she told me "I convinced your boyfriend to fuck your best friend. Imagine what else I can do."
>>27846239
Consuming hot sauce on a daily basis for years can have a negative impact on your sinuses and digestive system. It has nothing to do with 'not being able to handle the heat'. It's like how drinking alcohol on a daily basis for years can damage your liver.
>>27845438
>this autist male that keeps making these shitty bait stories and mentioning second life
kys
>>27846548
>Bill Murray copy pasta tier
I don't believe you. If it did happen, file a police report and surely she left some evidence.
I mean how can someone impersonate you and trick not only your best friend but your boyfriend?
>>27846548
*poked holes in the condom without my boyfriend knowing
>>27846663
What? The Bill Murray stories are true dude
>>27846717
Well, I mean those might be, but this one obviously isn't.
Still kind of hard to believe Murray would do all those horrible things to people.
My gf has some crazy insecurities. She recently got mad at me for her name in my phone not being cute enough, saying "all the other bitches in your phone have faces and shit" when those contacts are from 4 years ago in Highschool.
I take care of her and give her head massages because she has chronic headachea but she does shit like that all the time and it really pisses me off
Wat do?
>>27846548
I'm another roastie, and if I found out about having a doppelganger, I'd probably do something wicked like this.
But I don't think this is real, people would notice a different voice or a disparity in habits.
>>27846815
Have you tried giving her foot massages? It might help her be less cranky.
>>27846815
Don't be cute and just make everyone's contact their first and last name. Don't even set your family to mom/stepdad/brother/sister. Have them set to their full name.
>>27845765
This isn't because of spicy foods. His diet is just shit.
>>27849152
Yes. Eating junk food, canned food, and cured meats for a long time will make you all coughy, sniffy, and bleedy
I was in an older thread talking about the waiter my parents told that I thought was attractive...I'm getting close to the day I'm going to try and see him and tell him my feelings any ideas what to do specific? How would you want a really shy girl to confess her feelings to you...
>>27850504
You're a creepy ugly weirdo. Don't do it.
>>27850504
I don't mean to be negative but, have you considered that maybe he blushed because it's unusual or awkward to have someone's parents tell you their child thinks you're cute?
Not to dissuade you but I think you should try to talk to him one on one and see whether he's compatible with your autism before you confess anything.
