On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard is depression hitting you right now?
what constitutes a 10? it's been rough lately
>>27829157
About 4. I feel the weight of things beginning to crawl up my back again. I'm probably not really depressed though, just someone that hides his own caused stress.
About 8 because it's finals week and I don't have the energy to do the studying, haven't all term.. Which means I'm going to fail.
>>27829157
I don't really feel like killing myself. But I have no motivation or desire to do anything. At all. Like, I'm hungry but getting up to get a granola bar sounds like a lot of work. Nothing's interesting. I can't think of anything I want to read about, any video games I really want to play, etc.
1. In a really good place right now (or at least as happy as I've ever been. Some might argue that the fact that I still occasionally browse this board means that I'm not doing so great compared to a normie who rates his happiness at 1).
5. I don't have to drink as much as I used to, I'm trying this "emotional regulation" therapy thing. that being said, I'm drunk as fuck right now. I love you arcanine, never leave me.
>>27829157
its a 3
this weeks been pretty nice
>>27829157
Bad, I believe I just failed a very important math exam which not only means I wont go to uni next year but I am also probably too dumb to study math anyway. I don't know which hurts more desu.
>>27829207
I know dude, I've had to pee for like the last half hour, but fuck it y'know?
8. I got angry and attacked my parents after going on an antinatalist tirade.
>>27829157
6, but last week has been 8-8.5. I don't think I can ever say 10 because I'm alive, but I think I've been to 9 a few times.
I would say about a 7/10
I just don't give a fuck about what happens to me anymore. So fucking lonely all the time and socially inept.
>>27829157
8-9, haven't been able to make myself buy groceries for the past week now and have been steadily eating less
>>27829245
I'm also convinced of antinatalism but it's too touchy a subject for most people, since it just hits an emotional wall where people are unable to really think about their position.
I'd say around a 8. It's the first time I've ever had suicidal thoughts, but they're fleeting.
I just want this school year to be over. I'm maintaining my good grades mostly, but my scores in math have slipped really hard in the past month after I mused some assignments and did badly on a test.
I always spend more time on /r9k/ when I feel like shit. I started exercising and tracking my calories again last week. I'm trying to convince myself that if I lose the last 15 pounds, I won't hate myself. I'm also really hungry right now, because of how much I've been eating recently.
7 cause I can't stop thinking about her and it's been probably over a year
A strong 7 to a light 8
was around 9 the other day, almost suicided but couldn't be damned to get up and try it.
>>27829157
About a 9
Really been thinking about blowing my brains out recently
Strong 9, light 10 maybe?
Everything seems to be going wrong and it's all my fault. I don't know how to fix anything.
>>27829157
A solid 6~7.
Feels anon, Feels.
>>27829157
https://clyp.it/um3udynr
>>27829157
4. No social problems to hold me down senpaisama. I'm riding the wageslave train to the grave. maybe 5 if my car or something fucks up lol.
>>27829157
About a 5 right now.
The beginning of 2016 was absolute shit for me, but now things are finally starting to get a little bettter...
>>27829452
What the fuck, are you high? I can't even tell.
>>27829157
Mine is chronic so...
1/10
6/10
4/10
7/10
10/10
4/10
9/10
8/10
5/10
2/10
...
...
...
This is usually how it goes for me.
the number hasn't even been conceived yet
I've spent all day in my bedroom wishing for death so a solid 8.
My depression was the worst in the two years or so after high school. Where it was so bad it caused me physical aches and I was crying all the time.
Now it's subsided to a numb lull. A constant 4 or 5. I'm not sure which is worse.
solid 7
i only visit this board on a 7 or lower so guess i'm here for now
nobody will teach me how to drive, so i can't do anything and i'm fucked
>>27829157
3/10. Depression doesn't bother me that much. Anxiety is what really gets me.
>>27829481
https://clyp.it/b2qfr04l
>>27829157
4-5ish,I have a feeling it will rise
>>27829157
Anyone else get the feeling they've been depressed for a long while but they've managed to hold it back to a point where you're not sure if you're depressed? In retrospect I've felt like that for years, only recently I realized the dam is about to burst and I'm going to fucking break down.
It varies between 4-9 Bpd is a bitch
>>27829553
borderline personality disorder or bipolar senpai?
>>27829157
Aww all these poor tortured souls in here.
>>27829157
>moved city+state to be away from my family
>made no new friends, except girls who left
>been on NEETbux for years, no career prospects
>gonna die an unnoticed speck drowned in the monstrous gaping wave that is time
>my copy of Dark Souls 3 is late
I'm okay.
>>27829528
What music are you listening to f am?
>>27829157
Not exactly depression per se, but a pervasive feeling of bleakness and impending doom havs been hitting me about 7/10 lately.
>>27829633
https://clyp.it/iektjlto
https://play.spotify.com/user/1121875000/playlist/0pE1VRmhCWK3Q7w9fCbjf1
Not all really, because depression isn't a meme I identify myself with. I get down when I can't breathe but otherwise life is A OK, Many of you are probably in understandably in shit situations, but if you can breathe without a problem you really don't know how good you have it and how much potential you have to enjoy existence if you just let go of your ego. I wish the only thing that was wrong with me was being fucked in the head. And yes, being insecure about your height and nogf is being fucked in the head. Depression is only as real as you make it out to be.
>>27829706
This post just oozes normie. Have you considered giving motivational TED Talks?
2 atm
Was a 8 two days ago
Yay bipolar
>>27829743
I've considered either stabbing myself in the heart or drowning as suicide methods. If you want to identify yourself as being a depressed sack of shit then nobody is going to stop you. And if someone tells you there is another way you'll attack them to preserve your sense of ego because depression is who you are.
>>27829157
3 this week probably. Not too bad because I actually talked to my crush today and I am doing alright in classes. I am bummed that I'm not close enough to her to get invited to her birthday party coming up though. :/
>>27829825
Damn that's motivational man, would pay for :)
11. If I had a belt I'd fucking end it right now
>>27829706
>Depression is only as real as you make it out to be.
u a funny guy
>>27829855
Haha, thanks man no charge, no charge. There's a chance that maybe someone will actually take a step back and look at themselves, or maybe not. Can't save everyone, wouldn't even bother trying. :)
Ive pretty much given up on doing anything. Unless I have to get up to go to work, I sleep in until something forces me to get up. I skip almost all my classes too and eat like shit. Completly stopped caring about how I look too. If no one wanted me at my best why even try, might as well let it all go.
9
I constantly have nightmares about rejection, being stabbed again, my hatred for absolutely everyone here, etc
God I miss her, my life would have been so much better if she didn't choose him in October.
Getting drunk on the bridge every week hoping to fall is now my only activity
>>27829157
Hitting me like a tank shell but I don't care/ I have coping mechanisms that function fairly well.
Probably a 2 right now. Life's going well and the only stresses I'm feeling are anticipation of fulfilling the fruition of plans nearly completed.
>>27829918
>Le everyone who is depressed hasn't tried to improve himself meme
Look you may think your opinions are so unique and insightful but in reality you are just normie #15215 who spouts this meme.
It gets old after a while you know.
>>27829881
well good thing it's not hard to get a belt
8.5
It's starting to physically hurt
>>27829961
Well said
I've worked so hard to try to improve myself yet nothing works
This judgement proves that happy people are extremely arrogant and egotistic
fuck i can't even make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without fucking up. THERES FUCKING JELLY EVERY WHERE FUCK IM SUCH A FUCK UP
5. I'd think it'd be a lot higher as I'm in the midst of finals and I'm fucking it all up and I can't motivate myself to study, but I know that by this time tomorrow I'm going to have 5 months to do whatever I want with no pressures so it takes the edge off.
>>27829157
Like 5, I haven't felt this good in several months 2bh
>>27829961
It isn't about improving yourself, it's about realizing that you're not your ego, you're not the thoughts going through your head tell yourself you don't match some standard society set for yourself. Or whatever, is in your head, take a listen for yourself.
But I guess I am just a normie, but do you know what an inferior turbinate is? It's a structure in the nose that's quite important. Not only does filter and humidify the air you breathe, but it also contains a nerve that tells your brain that your breathing. Without out it many people feel a constant sense of suffocation, even though with the removal of this structure there is plenty of room for air to pass through your nose.
But I guess I can feel sorry for myself in that fashion too, but why bother? Existence can still be quite great, hope you see it someday.
I just accepted I'm probably gonna end up NEET, even if I do end up going back to college this year. Also, almost 20 and still a virgin, i ended up wishing I was dead most nights, desu.
10 outta fuckin 10 ;////
>>27829157
I would say a 6.5,
For reference, here's what scale i'm using. It's my own personal scale for how I tend to become more depressed, so don't be surprised if your escalation isn't exactly like mine:
10 = Already killed yourself/in the process of an irreversible suicide attempt. I've never reached this point.
9 = Absolutely, irreversibly resolved to kill yourself very soon. A plan is in motion, and it's happening. Luckily never reached this point either.
8 = Are in a state of mind where suicide is definitively better than the prospect of remaining alive. Remaining alive is a positive pain. I have reached this point a handful of brief times, but these are becoming less brief and more frequent. Probably once ever couple of months now for a couple of days.
7 = Suicide heavily considered a large percentage of the time, total apathy towards remaining alive, cannot do anything related to organizing your daily life/job/school past this point. Dick around, shitpost, anything to escape from your "obligations" or management of your own affairs. Am in this state very frequently, probably about 20 percent of the time. Especially occurs during lonely weekends for myself.
6 = Extreme levels of apathy for daily life, occasional suicidal thoughts. From 6 up, there is a backdrop collage of misery, anger and despair everywhere. Extreme procrastination results, you barely scrape by in accomplishing your day-to-day necessities. Hygiene is totally gone at this point. 80 percent of the last 3 years has been spent this way or higher.
5 = High levels of apathy for daily life, with very brief (mostly comedic) thoughts about suicide. Daily obligations and life management become very sluggish, albeit completed. Hygiene is the most sluggish and is very passive, being last on my priority of "self-management". Have spent 95 percent of the time in the last 3 years or so at 5 or higher.
contd.
>>27830168
i would say i'm a 5.5 then pretty much all the time. I've never got to the point where i seriously was going to kill myself except when i was young
>>27830067
>no reee.jpg
I am disappoint.
>>27830168
I'm at 5 then, going by this list. Feel like im getting to 6 though.
>>27829157
I'm not sure. Most days, I really do want to die and the only thing stopping me is the knowledge that it'd be a burden for my family. I don't want to top off a life of being nothing but a bother to them with yet another hassle. Thinking about this just makes me feel anxious, because it's like I'm trapped in a cage formed out of obligations and responsibilities when I don't even want to be alive in the first place.
4/10
I want more from life and I want to strive for more, but I can't seem to get a good handle of where to go next.
Also the idea that I have to go in tomorrow and deal with spoiled military wives and dumb black women who don't understand basic fucking insurance billing and get mad when their ignorance negatively effects them makes me mad. It wouldn't be so bad if I knew I was at least moving forward to something better, but dammit, I don't have the money or time for school.
I just wanna work IT, dude.
>>27830168
I'm like at a 2 right now.
I had some closure with my ex-gf and we're staying friends, I met a cool Asian girl that enjoys the same philosophy and music as me and I did LSD with her so that's pretty fucking cool. I also recorded a song today.
The only reason I'm at a 2 is because I lost 15% of my stock trading account today lmao.
>>27830168
4 = Moderate apathy and although you are highly self-deprecating, you are not suicidal. Self-esteem is very low but you are able to see it as just a phase. Work/school/life management is completed in a mostly half-assed way and is about 60 percent of your maximum potential quality. Hygiene is sluggish but all of the bare bones basics are there. Will very rarely reach this stage of happiness, and it's a blessing when I finally do after long bouts of being a 5 or more.
3 = Slight apathy and moderate self-deprecation, which is now more humorous, but still has a serious twinge. Work/school/life management is done reasonably well, and is about 80 percent of your potential output. Hygiene is actually modestly intact. Life is mostly looking up, actually. Last time I was like this: about 1 year ago.
2 = Trace amounts of apathy that can be attributed to normal boredom. Work/school/life management is being done well, ranging from 95-100 percent of your potential. You are clean and your relationships are quite healthy. You are basically happy. Last time I was like this: about 3 years ago.
1 = Absolutely happy. Enthralled, euphoric (inb4 fedorameme), and passionate about what you are doing in life. 100 percent is given to everything you care about, relationships are fulfilling. Last time I was like this: in high school, around 8 years ago.
Around an 8 today, I haven't cried since my friend died in December, but I had multiple breakdowns this morning
Somehow I still went to class and made it through feeling pretty good, so 3/10 now
>>27830168
>>27830300
This is very handy. Thank you anon. I saved this.
>>27830115
>it's about realizing that you're not your ego
>Replaces one empty platitude for another one.
Retard. I will only thrash this part of the post because you seem to be serious.
Yes, it sucks that u have a hard time breathing, but saying that you'd rather have a mental disorder is absurd and only proves that you have no idea what you are talking about.
I'd switch my autism for your breathing troubles in a heartbeat, and it wouldn't take you long to figure out how big of a mistake you've made.
