most autistic things you've done?
>me 16
>burn pizza
>bury it in garden so parents won't find out
>>27797054
I've got a similar story:
>summer vacation
>want a snack
>look through cupboard
>figure I'll have some popcorn
>put it in the microwave for 3 minutes since bag said 2.5-3 minutes
>dad calls
>asks how I'm doing
>"I'm fine I'm just heating up some popcorn"
>"okay just make sure to watch it so you don't burn it"
>I was in the other room on the phone with him
>"sure no problem"
>"ok see you later"
>hang up
>popcorn's been done for maybe a minute
>go to get it
>smoke fucking shoots out as soon as I open the door
>choking on smoke
>can barely breath
>open the back door to let the smoke out
>alarms go off
>freak out and think it's the fire alarm
>just our home security system
>run to go disarm it
>it's across the house
>bag is on fire in the microwave
>run all the way back
>pick up the bag and throw it outside
>turn all the fans on and A/C
>dad calls
>"hey i got a text that the alarm went off is everything okay"
>"uhhhhh yeah the popcorn was expired and stunk real bad so I opened the door to air out the kitchen"
>"...okay?"
>"yeah"
>"well the electricians will be there in like thirty minutes"
>"o-oh okay"
>hang up
>go get the charred bag
>run some water on it
>throw it in the garbage outside
>house smells like fire
>burn marks in the microwave
>electricians show up
>ask what the smell is
>dad eventually comes home
>starts coughing as soon as he walks in
>he knew
>I've denied it ever since
>he still knows
>he always brings up the stain in the microwave from the fire
>I deny it
So that's my story about how I fucked up popcorn.
I keep a log in notepad for when I physically touch another human being.
I used to make "chili soup" as a kid which was nothing more than chili flakes boiled in hot water.
>>27797054
>be freshman me
>thinking about joining winter percussion band
>band kids take me in to the teacher
>dude looks super uptight
>"hello, i'm the band instructor, you must be anon"
>goes to shake my hand
>i shake his hand and wiggle my finger against his palm while ding so
>he is visibly confused and uneasy
>he puts his thoughts together and goes on about band and instruments, etc.
>i say thanks and leave
I never joined band in the end
>>27797054
I keep screenshots of nice emails i have received.
>>27797054
Probably when I tried to make real magic and perform a cultist ritural where I burned a piece of paper on it that I drew a pentagra, on and wished for the powers of satan and to sell my soul.Magic isn't real.
I save written conversations with my oneitis and send them to myself in gmail.
>>27797324
that's only the first column. post the rest.
>>27797738
Didn't try to sell soul but I tried magik too most of it is just like "do this ritual and pray for luck"
>>27797867
I went full church of satan. No luck :(
>be 12 or 13
>found old box of porn in garage
>take a couple issues out for safekeeping
>feel guilty after awhile
>Try to burn them in fireplace
>they just get slightly crisped
>just dump them in a used bag
>fold it over several times
>put it in the trash on trash day before it comes
feels bad man, one of them was a classic Donna Edmondson, pic related, and I love cow tits now so I don't think it's a coincidence, many early cums were had
>home alone
>put lotion on paper towers
>microwave it til hot
>wrap it around dick with plastic wrap
>use to fap
>>27797054
lmao wtf op
Probably listening to an MP3 of a sleeping girl every night so I can fall asleep and pretend someone is next to me.
>>27797054
>be me
>8 years old at the time
>talking to 27 year old in vidya
>find out he's a gay pedophile
>ok i just want to vidya
>go along with
>offers to buy free stuff
>literally no chance of actually getting hurt
>deny because i just want to play vidya
>realize few minutes later how stupid and autistic that was
>no free shit
>be 12
>have can of deodorant
>have trampoline
>decide i will be a graffiti artist
>Spray deodorant swear words and my name and shit in the trampoline
>damn this looks sick but I better rub this off incase i get in trouble
>Literally the white marks will not come out
>spend like 2 hours rubbing the entire fucking thing before my parents get home
>the entire thing took like 3 hours of slave labour to get rid of
>get away with it
Good times
>brother is hungry as fuck
>wants to make egg salad but wants to boil the eggs quick
>he puts them in a bowl with water and heats it up in the microwave
>i'm in my room doing homework and he comes in asking me if i want some for later
>loud boom is heard
>microwave exploded
>eggs everywhere in the kitchen
>smelled like eggs for a week
>parents found it too funny to get pissed
>mfw
>>27797569
Wtf was that anon? I couldn't contain it.
I just declined a chance to have breakfast with my crush in order to make a stupid joke
What's wrong with me?
>>27797324
>day/month/year
Kill yourself.
>>27799600
greasy american
>>27799640
smelly eurotrash
>>27797324
Do you keep details?
>>27797701
>You're a pretty good person
wow you just know this is a woman, trying not to be too friendly.
>>27799524
what was the joke?
originalblox
>>27798317
fucking namefag.
>>27797054
>Have to work up the courage to do anything I have not done before
>This often takes a week of prepping like running scenarios through my head or having a notepad of what I need to say and in what order
>Often its just for trivial stuff like setting up an appointment to get my tires rotated
>get psp when i was a child
>find out i can use the internet with it
>it's a massive hassle but i finally found an image of a sexy girl in a bikini
>take psp
>take penis
>fap while sliding penis on psp so it looks like i'm having sex with the bikini girl
i loved that thing. RIP psp porn
>>27799743
She asked if there was anyone who wasn't going to the square by 9:40 (She asked it because she was going there earlier and have breakfast, she wanted someone to join her)
I said: "I do, since I'm not going there at all"
>>27799818
I still use my PSP for porn, I have a 128gb card for my "sensitive" porn and torrent magnets that must never see the light of day.
>>27799873
As do I. PSP is still a useful device. Sucks that finding a reliable battery is near impossible now though
>>27799873
had no idea psp could have a torrent client. really it was an amazing machine.
>"sensitive"CD/LS?
>>27799818
>psp porn
I used to go to image sites on mine. It was the only way since my parents checked my browser history
>>27799913
Obviously it's just /d/ stuff, like chicks with dicks, Mr FBI.
>10
>taco bell for dinner
>go to sleep
>wake up very early morning
>laying in bed watching collateral damage
>need to fart
>it feels wet
>too lazy to get up
>flip over on stomach and stick ass in the air like a dumb whore
>slide off tightie-whities
>bury my face in them while checking my crack
>they're clean enough
>moan "goooood"
>about to put undies back on
>brother in the door-way
>eye contact
>play it cool
>"I was just smelling my farts."
>as if that's rational
>never talked about it again
Definitely not the most autistic thing I've done though. This rabbit hole is too deep.
me also burn pizza and noodle and also get engaged to wrong person. i tell you this now in hopes you fix sonys new oven sold.
>>27799965
you can trust me anon
what are these torrents
So goddamn angry this time guys.
When I was in 9th grade the girl I liked asked me to hang out at her house and I said no because it was E3 and I didn't want to miss the Sony conference
>>27800264
Now our enemies won't be able to read it.
>>27800317
>what be archives
>>27800412
I really enjoy Kingdoms of Amalur:Reckoning, it's like a single player MMO, but in a good way.
>>27797738
I did this exact thing when I was younger. The amount of cringe that memory contains is enough to kill myself 200 times over.
>Wake up
>Hungry
>open fridge and get frozen waffle
>get toaster ready
>I go into auto-pilot
>Grab waffles and rinse them in sink
MFW I realized what I did
MFW dad was right behind me
MFW he's never been more confused
>>27799825
Any chance you may have had, gone.
>>27797738
I'm not a theistic Satanist
But even if Satan were real, what would he want with your soul? You're obviously worthless because you're considering selling the most important part of your being (spirituality speaking) to the literal Devil for some talent
>>27800772
I hate myself for doing it
I also told her Todd Howard is a lying piece of shit and Bethesda is the worst gaming company around, this while she was hyped for FO4, she loves Betheshit
>12
>live in brooklyn
>meet the only otaku in my shit liberal neighborhood
>8.5/10 solid redhead
>get brilliant idea to write memes all over my shirt with sharpie
>never talk again
>never do anything extremely autistic
>just do small autistic things often
>never remember them because i realize it and try to erase them from my memory
anyone else like this?
>>27801158
yeah i do the samew
>>27801046
Once kindergarden is over the bullying someone because you like them approach doesn't work anon. At least, until you get to know them and find out they like that sort of thing.
I keep pastebins of conversations i have with people online.
>>27797054
I shake my hands from excitement when I'm playing vidya or music for some reason, I can control it and not to do it in public. but it's a thing I've always been doing since I was a kid.
>>27801286
...she just sent me this pic because I claimed I don't like porn, which I really don't
What does this mean?
>>27797213
>all he had to do was press popcorn start
>be me
>just got into a relationship
>we have sex for the first time
>so excited.jpeg
>find she is autistic
>mfw I literally fucked autism
>be thanksgiving
>go to dads house
>hes a bit of a conspiracy nut
>he gets drunk and starts rambleing abot how the gov is evil and is poisining our water supply in an attempt to reduse population and how we are being sold out to ailians for technology
>me being drunk as well started going full on red pill telling him how the jews are responsable for alot of the worlds problems
>end up in an hour long shouting match with my dad
>my grandparents and aunt still wont talk to me
