If you died right this second. What would your parents find as they searched your room?
>>27796128
dozens of piss bottles, a pile of cum shirts, and a used onahole
>>27796128
Nothing.
I have a pack of condoms that I've used on cucumbers to fuck my own ass, but they'd never make that connection.
>condoms (they know i have been sexually active)
>weed pipe
>weed grinders
>a box that says drugs on it
>graduated cylinders
>a milligram scale
>notes i scribbled down about my crushes
the last one is the most embarassing t b h
>>27796128
>dildo
>strap-on
>several knives
>petroleum jelly
>a very large collection of rope, handcuffs, masks, corsets, candles, whips, police batons, etc.
>collection of panties and bras
>my criminal and medical records
>collection of medical books and comic books
>some dolls, figurines and legos
then if they managed to get through my computer's security:
>backlogs of all of the threads I made on /r9k/ from 2008-2012
>massive collection of gore
>massive collection of guro
>slasher films, cartoons, video games and some artwork
>formidable collection of Animal Crossing information, artwork and shit
my room is my sanctuary, no one is meant to come here.
>>27796128
My parents aren't technologically competent enough to know how to search through my laptop. That's it, I don't have a room full of crusty cum stained boxers and ragsI do laundry pretty often, thanksor a closet full of dead hooker body parts.
If they did go through my laptop they'd just find a bunch of jav sites, footjob videos and horse porn.
>>27796308
Holy shit, that's A grade autism lad.
About $400 worth of manga. They were in my room just the other day, actually (which is a big deal, since we live in different states).
>>27796346
it's too late for me anon
there's no going back
nothing. i literally have nothing worth being ashamed about in here
at worst i guess a bottle of lotion i use to jerk off... that's it
>Guitar
>Piano
>Books
>Video games
>TV
>Cups
>Food
>Laptop
>Bottle of syrup
Not much.
Thousands and thousands of dollars worth of naked anime girl statues with impossibly large breasts.
They wouldn't need to search my floor is covered in empty cider bottles. I have to climb over my bed to get to my desk.
>>27796128
Communist propaganda and a suicide note
>>27796128
>some fucked up comic books
>some fucked up poetry books
on my computer
>shit tones of memes
>shit tones of music
>some movies and cartoons
sadly average
>>27796128
Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.
>>27796128
Not a girlfriend. That's for sure.
>>27796128
A massive amount of beer cans, wine and whiskey bottles, as well as my cum rag and an old helium tank i never had the courage to use.
Tissues everywhere, my 4 journals filled with bipolar ramblings and psychotic delusions, and dirty clothes all over the floor.
>>27797170
Just looked around and realized i have 10 unused condoms i got about 6-7 years ago for free, and old pack of tobacco i always want to throw out but forget about it, some cigarette butts behind my desk that fell there because i sneezed at my ash tray, three piss bottles and about a total pf 80k euros in 100 euro bills (since i started working about 10 years ago i would put 100 euro bills away for no reason) on a book on my shelf (if they bother looking through my books).
I bet they would be proud.
2 guns they don't know about, a socialist magazine, and some Kratom.
Just the embarrassing stuff
>Tenga onahole and lube
>Tenga eggs
>Liquid Scent of panties (Holy shit this thing smells disgusting as fuck)
>Obscure dvd movies that are embarrassing to own: like La fonte, Sweet Movie.
>Kill me now levels of links to certain porn websites, but no collection or folders of porn.
>no Lolicon anywhere thank god, not my fetish anymore, now it's cum eating, pissing, tall girls, etc.
The motor from a vibrator I dissected
comics about killing myself and joining my shitty dead oneitus in hell
maybe some cat piss? The cat breaks into everything and pisses everywhere
Pipe bombs
Gas mask filters
>>27797300
Fuck 80K euros? Is that a lot, or is it like a Zimbabwe billion dollar note? Holy fuck, 80 grand just sitting in your bedroom.
kamagra jelly for my limp dick
>>27797300
>80 000 euros
Why don't you spend that cash on something famalam?
>>27796128
Sadly nothing but normie shit, like speakers, never used musical equipment, meds, clothes, money, tons of loose change.
On my computer, nothing but Spotify and a couple of hentai, bbw, and trap pictures. Like ten in total.
A while ago, a ton of uncouth deviant shit, but sadly as the years pass, the more normie I become
cat tail buttplug
manga
sailor fuku+panties
Love letters from asian females and a hornymaleweebfriend I know from steam
>fleshlight drying out in my bathroom
>about a terabyte's worth of porn spanning many fetishes on my unlocked desktop
>refrigerator with nothing but ketchup and beer in it
>cans of tuna stinking up my trashcan
>>27797408
>>27797397
I want to buy my own apartment, it's actually about 20k euros where i live and i would just have to pay for gas, water, electricity and internet. I don't have the motivation and courage to do any of that, fuck, i can't even throw out those old condoms, alcohol cans and bottles, piss bottles, tobacco bag and cigarette butts.
I don't even want to interact with whoever will be at the bank to put the money i have on my account. I realize that's it's a massive amount of cash, but i just don't want to use it.
>>27796128
>weed and weed paraphernalia
>about 6 terabytes of porn on my pc, and 2 external hardrives
>like 2 terabytes of that porn is me fucking the 4 sex dolls Ive owned
Oh yeah
>My sex doll, and all the whorish outfits ive purchased for the sex doll
>pic related
two boxes containing a collar, a leash, lube and condoms, a buttplug tail and a rolling pin. also a few memory sticks full of porn.
On computer mostly
>Hitler pics
>fuckton of Fascist style flags
>pones
>dank memes
>vore
>general macro
>feet
>>27797480
Fuck, on top of those 80k euros i have less than one meter away from me, i have 6k on my bank account. I just stopped working three years ago and decided to sit at home and leech off the government and the money in my bank goes up by about 40 euros a month because i'm just spending it on my rent, rent related shit and food/alcohol. And the occasional escort from time to time.
>>27796128
Liquor, cigars, probably lots of piss/cum residue, lots of condoms someone hid around my room as a joke.
>>27796128
My journal and a lot of hentai on my computer.
>>27797558
Living the life man, don't enjoy it for too long.
Trash, cigarette butts, cat shit, my bowl, and empty liquor bottles
>>27797558
I couldn't live with that much physical money in the house. I be in terror the joint would burn down or I'd get burglarised and lose everything. Some junkie will rob your house one day and think he's died and gone to heaven.
Jokes on you, I've already told my parents to let my brother clean out my room if I should expire before them.
Stuff that they don't know about?
>Cum rag
>mlp related stuff
>stuff from my ex that I've been meaning to burn
some recordings I made of me singing and playing my guitar even though I can't sing for shit
>expired condoms I got from a concert a while back that I never used
>the toy bb gun I use to simulate shooting myself almost every night
>love letters I wrote to a oneitis I had back in 2009
It would be embarassing to be quaint familia
Simple, 10 dollar palm sized timing device that can actuate @ 4 Newtons force even after running for several months on a 1 AAA battery.
>>27797580
>living the life
Yeah, i'm a KHV excluding the countless whores and escorts i've been with. Never had a gf and fuck, i've never even held hands with a whore.
>>27797594
>junkies go through people's books
I carefully put 20x100 euro bills on each page of a book on european architecture of the 18th century, what kind of retard would go through someone's books? The only valuable things i have are my laptop, a swiss clock from the 30's and some beats headphones. Best you could get out of all of this is probably around 1k euros, probably even less than 700.
>>27797558
>>27797594
A bank deposit box is only 50$ a year. I use one to hide my savings from the welfare office as well.
>>27796195
What about all the cucumbers
>>27797486
Lets see her ass
How tall is she
1 (one) cum rag
1 (one) piss bottle
that's it desu
>>27797860
>tfw it's a percentage depending on what kind of deposit it is
Shit can go from 0.8% up to 2.4%, depending on what i tell them my deposit is. It would be expensive as fuck for me.
Nothing
One pair of panties I stole from the neighbor girls room
They'd probably think it was my ex gf's which I lied about having
>>27797927
Are you talking about insurance? Because my bank rents these fuckers out with no insurance by default and they don't know what's in it and aren't allowed to look either.
>>27797890
I little under 5ft tall.
>>27798043
H-how does it feel anon?
>>27797972
No, it's for savings accounts, fixed term deposits, insurance and loans. Each one has a different tax, most expensive one being the car loan, cheapest one being the savings account.
Hell, i don't even see the reason as to why i should spend money to keep my money "safe". About 7-8 years ago, two banks in my country went bankrupt and some other banks from a neighboring country bought them and a lot of people lost money, had to pay more, etc. I just don't trust these people.
>>27796128
2000 dollars cash bundled 1000 dollars apart. my computer tech, lots of meme shirts, a onahole and dildo and some a small bottle filled with fermented cum.
Basically the 2000 bucks I was saving for something else entirely
>>27798190
I'm talking about a physical metal box in your bank's basement that only you have the key to. I wouldn't feel comfortable with all my money in my apartment. There could be fires or some nigger could nig it. Why take the risk?
>>27796128
Nothing, because I keep all my externals & usbs encrypted.
Can't run the risk of anyone snooping through my shit dead or living. My power level must remain hidden at all cost
>>27797427
Who writes you the love letters? Are they qts you met online and if so where did you meet them?
I NEED to know this
>>27798227
Bank could also get robbed, that shit could still happen in the 21th century.
Even if it burns, i don't really care that much. It's just that each time i end up with a 100 euro bill in my wallet, i put it away and take one or two out every time i want some female attention, go on a local escort website, find the best looking one, book her for one hour or two or go to the red light district and pick some cheap whore for 30 euros.
If i lose that money, well, i won't be able to have my own apartment and i won't be able to get my dick wet every couple of weeks. I still have the 6k on my bank account and if i use that up, i can always end up taking loans or i could apply for autismbux as i have assburgers, but my parents never bothered to apply for autismbux and i never did it either when i started living by myself.
I have dozens of files where I'm listing my plans for the future, and my dreams of eventually becoming very rich and successful with a beautiful young girlfriend who loves me and a handful of close friends that would give their lives for me. I'm really ashamed of those files because they contain fantasies that are never gonna happen.
I don't even have porn or anything like that on my drive. Maybe some questionable rekt and ylyl webms but that's it.
>computer full of hentai, anime, movies, video games, and music
>some junk food I bought
>cat sleeping on my bed
>pile of dirty clothes
>bookshelf full of non-fiction and sci-fi
>saxophone
Printed out memes, a good stack of them. Troll faces, rage comics, even some Facebook Frogs. No need to explain why I have them, but they're there and they'd be quickly discovered.
>>27796128
whats the story behind this pic?
original comment, please
Nothing much in my room. Would find quite a few autistic memes in my hdd though.
>>27798339
I also pay my rent and bills on the first of each month, am left with 250 euros, take out 50, buy meat on the market, make supos/stews that can stay in the fridge for at least two weeks, freeze what i didn't cook, unfreeze it, make another soup/stew and live well until the end of the month. Buying meat on the market (10 kilos) is about 30 euros, so i'm left with about 20 euros and i can buy 2.50 euro bottles of wine for about a week, take out another 50 euros, buy tobacco and tubes (each month), more alcohol, some shit i really want like Doritos or Canada Dry, take out another 200, if i spend it all on a whore, it's fine, if i don't, i put the money away.
I calculated everything and i live comfortably by not working. Such is life in Europe.
I've got a few dildos scattered here and there but my phone would be the big issue.There's a video on it of me getting spitroasted by my sister's boyfriend and one of his friends.
2 guns
Ingredients to make meth that I never got rid of
A bunch of books with natsoc shit, a copy of mein kampf and that sort of thing
A knife
Like $50k sewn into the inside of my mattress
~a backup of 350 GB of hardcore furfag, tranny and black on white gay porn on disk drive
A bunch of buttplugs, 3 dragon dildos, aHitachi magic wand
My collection of obscure cigarette packaging.
An insane amount of memes and music and weird indie comics and porn and a few games, something like 2tb total last I checked
Shitty art house films that would confuse a lot of people
Probably some child porn too since I thought that shit was funny when I was 14 and all the files I had then I have now.
>>27796128
About a days worth of dirty laundry next to the foot of my bed
>Implying my fiancee would leave our drugs lying around
>>27798471
The wages of sin are death young lady
5 empty handles of rum.
-comic books, a LOT of them
-me studying
-me browsing r9k
>>27798510
Whatever you say. It was a good time, either way. I can see why she likes him because he's packing.
Hundreds of cough medicine bottles, cum tissues, and child porn.
they would see this fucking thread
what a disgrace
laptop w/thousands of :chlo: pictures and joi.
some psychedelics
prostate massager
Customs drug seizure letter
>wow it turns out our son was bi curious and likes traps and black dick
End it.
>>27797486
the sex with the doll wins the price or is unsatisfying?
>>27796128
nothing i could be ashamed of
my mom could turn on my pc and watch the porn i keep on it and i wouldn't be ashamed of it either desu
A collection of panties that Ive taken from the laundry room of my college.
>a glock
>$2000 stashed in a copy of Moby Dick
That's the only thing out of the ordinary, I have a pretty clean room.
>An endless amount of cum tissues in a box under my bed (they know about this but haven't questioned it, I think they think it's from when I'm sick)
>Some borderline sociopathic diaries
>Cartoon porn (mostly normal) and some with incest, rape and age-gap
>A whole folder of fucked up stuff which I've received over Skype like gore (should probably delete that when I get a chance)
>Mountains of paperwork involving video game design
>Skype chat logs which reveal my friend is schizophrenic
>Chat logs revealing several of my kinks
>Chat logs revealing my friend to have pedophillic thoughts which he hasn't acted on
>4chan history (would shatter their view of me as being someone who doesn't see violent / pornographic stuff)
>PORN WHICH I WROTE WHEN I WAS 12
Bunch of weed, empty dispensary bottles, and 3 bongs. That's really it.
Room is IMMACULATE compared to some of you.
Piss bottles? What the fuck.
>>27796128
Piss bottle corner pocket.
>M4 assault rifle with seven 30 round mags
>laptop full of qt trap pics, among assorted porn and vidya
>$7500 in cash under my bookshelf
>>27797480
Hey anon wanna help a poorfag irishman
>>27798822
I don't really like potato niggers, but i would help a poorfag. Sadly, i don't understand how PayPal works. I've confirmed by bank account, but not my card. For the last two years it told me "there was an error, please try again later" when i tried to confirm my card.
But honestly, if i wasn't so computer illiterate, i would send 50 euro to poorfags who asked for it.
empty nitrous canisters and a few suicide notes
>>27797519
the holy grail of autism
>>27798775
Ayyy I'm an herb friend, too.
Idk why but I love to clean and listen to music while faded. My place is immaculate as well. Is this true for you?
Also Trump 2016: Dunk Terrorists edition
>>27798804
I strongly doubt that you own an assault rifle but you are free to post your selective fire
My weed related drawer. Lots of filters made from cgarette packs, old smoking papers packs, weed grinder and lots of plastic bags with remainings of weed as well as the parcels received, which i like to collect from the places i bought weed on the dark web. Netherlands, Spain, Belgium, Germany.
I guess that's the most secret thing i keep in my bedroom.
>>27798542
what comic books?
salef-made depressive black metal albums
>>27799076
ahahah that's awesome dude. Do you have a bandcamp site or some place where i can listen to them?
>>27796128
nothing incriminating unless they go through my computer then they'll find all the trap/shota/futa porn
>>27798339
you are our king
>>27796128
A dakimakura(a body pillow)of my waifu.Some manga.If they looked through my laptop,a lot of douijins with my waifu,some anime.Pretty normal desu.
>>27799096
>>27799076
I would also like to know anon
>>27799096
nope sorry
I only made 11 copies of it and I sent half on them to bands I used to like
My parents found all this shit a while ago after I drove home really fucked up but a few weeks ago it would have been
A piss bottle
Multiple cum rags
A bigass pill press
Half oz of China white
Pounds of poppy seeds
Half of some really dank weed
All sorts of stimulants and other drugs
Bunch of xanax pills
A little over 2 ozs of shatter
All sorts of dumb neet shit
I don't even want to talk about my computer
>>27796128
Nothing incriminating unless they go through the effort to open up my laptop to rifle through the inevitable amounts of silly bullshit I've written and all the porn I've saved.
>cup of tea
>glycine
>book of physics
>my phone
>computer full of shit and NSFW material(only jpgs)
>>27797653
How could you be embarrassed, you would be DEAD.
a few empty cans of beer, really nothing that they dont already know about
>>27796234
this, except the condoms
>Star Wars stuff
>Nintendo stuffsome underwear i stole when my sisters cute friend stayed over a few years ago
>>27796308
oh boy I nearly forgot
>enormous bag full of prescription medication, including antipsychotics, benzos and ambien
>folder of psychiatric documents, including extremely detailed reports of intrusive thoughts I've had to repeat over and over again, some of them several pages long detailing torture, homicide and necrophilia
>recordings on my phone of the same thing
>>27799829Necrofag is that you?
I love you originality blix blox
>>27796128
My wife... wondering what the fuck they are doing in my bedroom without asking.
>>27800098yesit's a little depressing that it's so obvious, but then again I'm really happy there aren't many people on this board with the same problems
>>27796861
Pics of your collection?
>>27800324
I think there are a few necrophiles but not so many that have the torture to go along with it. How goes life?
Worst case scenario, just a flash drive that I keep futa and trap porn on.
Books
An old chunky laptop with an options platform on it
Empty wine bottles
Cum rag
And i'm certain my cause of death would be suicide so a note
A duffel bag full of dresses and skirts, a bag full of cuffs, ropes, a paddle, a blonde wig, rolls of duct tape.
>>27801023
yeah, it's an... interesting combination.my shrink has had me doing exposure response prevention therapy for the last 10 days or so and it's fucking brutal, making my symptoms a lot worse initially, work performance is in the toilet and it's been very fucking difficult to not go back to drinking and smoking again to cope.
we switched up methods today from recordings to written shit and it helped a lot, so hopefully things will improve soon. in the meantime, though, fuck my fucking life.
how are you m8
>>27801160
Oh I forgot a few other things, such as a pink dog collar and leash, a dog bowl, and a noose I planned to hang myself with eventually
>>27797486
thats a hot doll. sexy girl, no disrespect of course. whats her name?
>>27796308
>several knives
hold your horses...
i just reported this, have fun in the pokey faggot
>>27801208
Breddy gud. So listen, this is going to sound strange but I remember reading about your therapy a while back and psychology is something that interest me. That and I have a bit of a gift for coming up with tailored exercises to people's problems. Biggest things I have tackled are every form or reason for depression and my friends claim the things I gave them to do have helped. And after everything you wrote in that fembots feels thread, I have some ideas for you. Simple stuff, but I really think it would help you out. I hope you this doesn't come off as overly personal. I live to fix things and people. Course they are done with me once they are better but whatever. It works and I take pride in that. If you are wielded out I totally understand.
>>27796308
>several knives
>condoms (not like I was planning on using them here anyway)
>empty booze bottles
>old cellphones
>waste bin full of cum tissues
>antidepressants
>my unlocked PC and laptop with various pornography
>my unlocked phone with various conversations in English with various people from the world which they wouldn't understand anyway
>>27796128
Nothing really. However I'm genuinely paranoid about me dying one day and them selling my desktop, the amount of /d/ shit in there is staggering.
A computer with cookies on weird websites and a shocking amount of Rainbow Dash pictures, a bunch of weed paraphernalia, some weed, and some shrooms.
cocaine [/spolier]
>>27801208
>>27801448
*wierded out
Shit phone. And I do not fetishize your problems but I am not disgusted by them either. The things you would do to help yourself are not things that would reveal any personal information to me. All I would want to know is if it is helping and why you think it is or is not.
I keep my room very organized, so nothing special. Just a couple bottles of booze in the drawers.
>>27801448
>>27801646
Not weirded out at all. I appreciate the offer but I'm in the middle of some pretty intensive therapy with a doctor who's been doing things for over a decade, and I think it's in my best interest to follow his treatment exclusively until we're finished. Anything additional might conflict with his method and it would be a fucking crime to waste all the effort I'm putting in. Again, though, I appreciate you making the suggestion. Nice to hear that you've been able to help out some other people, hopefully you'll continue to do so.
Clothes on the bed and floor, books on the drawers. That's about it. My bedroom is barren since I'm only in there to sleep.
My room has nothing in it
>having stuff
NORMIIIIIIE REEEEEEEEEEEEE
I had to abruptly go to the hospital for a week because of a tumor. My parents went into my home to clean up and take away any food that might rot/attract ants. Yeah, they found the piss bottles. They haven't brought it up more than once but the fact that they know will always bother me.
>>27796128
that pic is photoshopped right...no one will be on 4chan when there is some slut getting fucked in a room.
whoever photoshopped the pic did a good job
>>27796128
Their new office room.
Dragon dildos
I wish I was joking
>>27796128
Dragon Dildo, Skirt, Thigh highs, That and a ton of dirty laundry.
>journals with a few years worth of psychotic rambling
>sketchbooks full of stuff that would make me seem even crazier probably
>drugs/paraphernalia
>random stashes of OTC meds
>huge hoard of food, empty food containers and water bottles
>>27798498
>>27802755
>>27802788
Which Dragon Dildos? And what size?
>>27802599
I can guarantee it wouldn't. Like I said, simple, non invasive stuff. But I understand.[email protected]
throw away email in case you reconsider the would at least be interested in what it would involve
Hope your therapy goes well and things work out.
>>27796128
I've been though this before
>go on holiday overseas for a month
>come to see my idiot parents have decided to completely rearrange my room to "make it nicer"
>had hidden my porn mags, mini blow up sex doll (this was before onaholes were widely available and cheap) vintage piss bottle that had become dark brown under the bottom drawer of a dresser
>get home and see its been moved from its position
>my antique piss bottle, porn mags and blow up doll are gone
Nobody ever mentioned it and I never brought it up
They'd find condoms and a one-hitter in my closet, and 20 or so wadded up balls of toilet paper under my bed. I cum into them, then toss em under my bed, and clean it out every few weeks and flush them all.
>>27798358
Wow! What happened to those guys?
>>27796128
My computer has been and remains my biggest discovery worry
>so much porn that runs the gamut from /d/ to beastiality to traps and furry to hundreds of JAVs
>weeb music and anime
>movies that have sex in them that are obviously possessed for wanking
>so many pol tier images that would be impossible to explain
>ww2 music that includes nazi music
>suicidal and cringe writings
I do have a drawer filled with sex toys that some of which are obviously for a male ass and one filled with ero doujin and hentai books which are pretty vanilla, they'd find several sex outfits that my gf wears though kek
>>27802988
They couldn't handle the banter
>>27796128
Weed
Bdsm toys
>>27797419
TRAPS ARE MEN. YOUR GAY IF YOU LIKE THEM
>>27797486
She looks like a kid. Get help dude i hope you don't have cp
3 fleshlights
1 tenga flip hole
2 vibrators
1 dildo
my compute full of cartoon porn including a ton of loli
bunch of 3d normie porn
my 4chan folder full of memes
bed
closet
old textbooks
laptop filled with dank memes, movies, music and coding projects
I'm really boring.
>>27796128
alcohol, tobacco, herbs, snow, an old autographed photo of someone I don't recognize, and about 25 bucks. And ofc porn etc on the computer
>>27803392
Get a load of normie norminton here
>>27801448
I'm into psychology too. What are your thoughts on Carl Jung?
>pink vibrator
>some butt plugs
>about 200 Abena M4s (adult diapers)
>pacifier
>several different collars
>panties
>lube
>box made of legos filled with dead skin and nail clippings
>my cum rags
>a sawed off shotgun
>several boxes of ammo
>bunch of knives and razors
>safe filled with thousands of coins
if they got into my HDs, they would also find a bunch of really graphic erotica i've written and about 80gb of misc porn
>>27803680
I want a horror movie about one of these dolls gaining sapience and trying to kill its owner.
>>27803749
Ghost in the shell 2 is about sex robots killing people. It's pretty rad man.
>>27796128
There is nothing in my room my mother doesn't already know I have, I also have to no need to hide anything because I am not a degenerate.
>cigarette cartons
>daki
>vibrator
>ceramic cat collection
>phone full of drug deals
>other phone full of yaoi
>anime schedule
If my laptop's contents are included then it's
>~50,000 pictures of yaoi and shounen ai
>1TB of anime
>cp
I'm not even into cp, I just use it as reference for my sexual fantasies of anime shota
>>27803709
Basically agree with all his ideas. And most of what I have ever come up with to help people had been specialized based on them individually and their experiences but still understanding they are human and not snowflakes, and so "collective unconscious" as Jung described it plays a part as well.
>>27798441
Don't bother. I've been searching for the sauce for years and nothing's ever come up.
thanks for reminding me that i need to get rid of all the lingerie and dildos i have
Various journals I've kept for years
Nude pictures of myself, a few sex tapes, and lots of close of pictures of my exes pussies and assholes
An unused finger vibrator, a harness with a small strap-on (designed to let you double penetrate a girl in doggy style), handcuffs, and a whip
Manuals/notes on multi-year long projects that have some morally/legally-questionable goals I've been working on. Detailed black books on most people I know.
They would have to dig pretty long to find a lot of the weirder stuff as it's buried among academic notes and work files and I don't mark anything in ways that would arouse suspicion.
At least I'm pretty sure nothing I've done is blatantly illegal or immoral, just might paint a bad picture if someone were to assume the worst of me.
Oh also various drugs could be around at any point, but never shocking amounts of them
>Clothes literally everywhere
>Bin overflowing with rubbish
>Laptop with internet history of pornography and even more dubious pornography
>2 gigs of pictures from the internet poorly arranged
>folder full of pictures of my Elezen fuccboi character from FFXIV
>Boxes full of books
>Boxes containing all the letters and small gifts my ex gave me which I still hold onto
>Exercise books containing pages upon pages of self-diagnosis, psychological analysis of my mind and behaviour, fucked up thoughts and dreams, and incredibly disjointed textual analysis of Mannerphantasien
>various hippy things
>a book full of promises that my life will be better
I have nothing of real value in my life.
>>27803844
Is that you, Ritsuko? I didn't know you were getting side action with those pills you were loading Rei up with.
>>27804021
>Manuals/notes on multi-year long projects that have some morally/legally-questionable goals I've been working on
Details m8
My journal, my computer, my phone, and probably a suicide note.
>>27796128
Nothing. I have a death-safe policy, I always make it so that if I died right now, somebody moving all my things out of my room would find nothing.
I try never to break that for more than ten minutes at a time.
Nothing but a bottle of lotion I use to moisturize my hands with, but they might get the wrong idea.
If they were to search through my pc they'd find my /c folder and anime goreshit.
>over the last few years I have been taking pictures of every single snapchat my oneitis sends me
>I have gigabytes overflowing with pictures in case she sends me a nude
>one week ago today I was out of the house
>decide to open a snapchat she sent me, I mean why would she send me a nude after this long of not doing it
>it was a FUCKING NAKED BUTT PIC
>>27796128
a couple of onaholes, my dakimakura on my bed, anime figures and posters everywhere, a wall unit with 6 different video game consoles
it look like girl from spiderman
A couple of cum tissues under my bed and a notebook and I spent a week trying to learn to draw in.
>>27803850
I haven't found any other person to chat with about Carl Jung. Do you have trash email or skype?
>>27802880
You can't guarantee that. Don't do it. Chat, but do not interfere.. Even if you're well intentioned it will likely do more harm than good. I think they've made too much progress to jeopardise it. Best of luck friendos.
>>27804474
What interests you specifically about Jungian theory?
>>27796128
>A bunch of paper with numbers and drawings
>Clothes hanging from everywhere
>Trash (nothing organic though)
>60 meters of cat 5 cable
>And a lot of dust, hair and spider webs, because it's been months sinced I used a broom
>>27796128
Couple boob mousepads, a few panties i bought on amazon, and a condom i never used (used the other to practice putting on and jerked off in it, smelled horrible desu). Dont really care about any of that, but there's a big porn collection (mostly bjs) that i absolutely dont want my prudish mom to see. I dont even know how she got pregnant with me if she hates sex so much.
Doesnt anyone else think that FBI might be watching this thread right now?
>>27804787
this is 4chan, the FBI watches every thread
Condoms
Some empty booze containers
Garbage
Some old drawings I did that have questionable content.
>>27796128
A bubbler, a gram of pot, a nice DeWalt drill set, some tools, a bottle of vegetable oil I've been using as emergency lubricant, an opened bottle of cheap vodka, some other stuff.
>>27796128
All the cute outfits and footwear I get my girlfriend to wear, nothing else weird.
>>27804787
>if she hates sex so much
Pretty sure she would love it if it was with Chad
>>27805092
You "girlfriend" anon?
>>27804067
Social engineering type of stuff. I've always had a knack for influencing people in real life and I've learned to start tracking the success of these projects. It requires a great deal of planning, patience, and information gathering.
I've talked my way from being a highschool-almost-flunkout to having a full ride scholarship at the best tech uni in my state. I also run a business and use the same tactics there to advance my reputation (and lower others).
I can't really go into detail without explaining a lot of the context, but a project I just started a few weeks ago involves trying to astro-turf opinions about my Dad's neighborhood since he's moving in a few years. There has already been positive chatter, so I'm just picking up on it and helping it spread so that the property prices will go up.
Then a lot of it is routine type stuff, keeping and expanding detailed layouts of the underground network at my uni, the one that connects the buildings downtown, knowing what different people are working on and what things they might need at some point.
Today I'm gathering information on the uni's food supplier, because they hold a monopoly clause on what food selections are available within a large radius of campus and abuse the deal pretty badly. The students are preparing to confront the president of the university and any bit of leverage would be useful. I don't really care about this project since I won't be here long enough for the results, but it is good practice.
>>27805374
What the shit anon
Are you for real
Plz say more
>>27805374
Why don't you use your skills to exterminate the jew infestation?
>>27796128
I'm in bed, so me, the kindle on my chest and my phone in my hand.
Amazingly my hand isn't on my dick right now.
>>27803844
>i'm not even into cp
>i just use it as reference for my sexual fantasies
>>27796128
>2 full size sex dolls
>various outfits for dolls, corsets, skirts, jeggings etc
>some wrist, ankle & thigh cuffs, chains & locks
>4 fleshlights
>bullet vibe, aneros prostate stim, but plug
>a few bottles of lube
>a bit of weed
>lots of piss porn on my pc
Most of that stuff is in my room (I close the door if anyone comes over), but I live alone in my house so I assume they would find it all.
>>27804276
Because she knows you've been screenshotting them creep-anon. She probably just decided to toss your pathetic ass a bone.
>>27805695
What kind of dolls are they? Post pics please?
>>27803844
i keep heraring this fuckign daki word thrown around what the fuck is it?
They wouldn't find my room. My father is dead and my mother is too dumb to find my apartment.
- 12 grams of weed
- a ton of paraphernalia
- 25 blotters of LSD (doubt they would even know what i is)
Pills
-Dildo, Flesh light, and stuff like that
God knows what they would find if they went thru my computer.
>dozens of empty beer cans
>cigarette cartons
>trash
>dirty clothes
>condoms
>lsd (hopefully they wouldn't know what it was)
>tranny porn on my computer
>a layer of dust over everything
>TV
>school books/notes/binders
>laptop
>glass pipe
>eyedrops
>bottle of anti-depressants
I don't own much
>>27796128
a trash can full of around 3 months worth of cum tissues
physically that's the only thing
if we're talking about my laptop then all i can say is it's a good thing i'd be dead
>>27796128
Two big realistic dildos...
>>27804575
>>27804575
>The eternal balance of Sol and luna or feminine and masculine.
>The shadow
>The Black Madonna
>"Alchemitry" method of learning and healing
>Our reactionsite based on the collective unconscious. Plus, standford study of the paranoid schizo and the link it has to the collective unconscious. And more....
>>27806298
What are you into?????
I'mean so forever alone....
>14 Guitars
>Weed
>Amps
>Books
>Stolen road signs
>>27806384
>14 guitars
literally why
>>27806384
>Stolen road signs
What kind
>>27806407
I build 'em fampai
>>27806414
Just some random shitty ones from a beach. "Dune Area Keep Out" Is the most unique
>>27796128
shota and sissy pornsorry dad
>>27797863
he ate them afterwards no evidence.
the perfect fag plan
8 Xanax
3 bags of heroin
Tons of short stories
Porn
9mm rounds
Couple knives
A hardrive full of stupid frog pictures and porn
Disappointment and shame
>>27796128
two used onaholes with packaging and bottles of lube with anime girls all over them
if they looked too deep on my computer they'd find out that i'm bisexual and find my collection of degenerate abuse porn
other than that not too much
i'm sure they'd be disgusted if they read my posts on /r9k/ they probably believe i still have aspirations
>>27805401
you have about 20 minutes if you want to ask a specific question
small update, didn't find out anything interesting today other than they stopped carrying original ruffles because "boss likes lays n say only 1 typa potato chip, i fuckin hate lays they taste like shit"
>>27805374
Anon, what do you think about owning people?
>>27806775
inefficient
>>27806801
Why anon can you explain it?
>>27796128
>an almost empty bottle of tequila
>dirty dishes
>weights and guitars scattered across my room
>an open closet with my corpse dangling from the neck
>a bathroom scale
nothing embarrassing, really. Just a messy room.
I don't live with my parents, though. I share an apartment with my equally depressed brother.
>>27806939
There are very few benefits to owning someone that cannot be obtained by less costly means. I wouldn't pay to own a boat if I could rent one cheaply or borrow one
>>27796128
chaturbate, beer, a jizz rag, and some electronics components.
>>27807193
Anon, maids are expensive, dont usually do the things somebody who is owned would, plus you can't beat up maids for fun and get away with it.
>>27805374
Teach me your ways, anon. Or at least where to begin. I need this
Drivers license of the guy that "disappeared" several years ago.
Lets just say they wont find him.
>>27799594
>glycine
You running some SDS-PAGE in there anon?
Literally nothing incriminating. That's all on my computer, passworded away. They probably wouldn't care enough to try and get in either.
Blotters and about 5 eye droppers full of lsd, about a half ounce of Gorilla Glue #4, two pipes, a bong, like fifty lighters, another half ounce of Bubba OG, and an eighth of shrooms
My crossdressing shit and weed
The stolen panties of 75% of the girls I've slept with.
A 7+ years old 9500 gtx nvidia box full of tissues with blood and cum from that time when i pulled my foreskin to hard
>>27796128
My collection of comic books, magazines, and action figures. Nothing normie at all
>2gs of lemon kush
>vaporizer
>like 30 Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds
>1 bottle of DXM
>2 packs of DPH
>My 3 onaholes, onahole warmer, and lube
>decent amount of porn and bookmarked porn
Nothing too bad, I don't think...
>>27799096
I'm formally requesting that you make a bandcamp.
>>27808473
Only shit
How much did that much lsd cost you?
>>27809136
$2000
Bought it on the darknet
>>27809312
(not the poster above you)
I'm jelly as fuck man. I wish I was packing that much good stuff.
>>27808473
>>27809136
>>27809312
>>27809417
fucking normies
original
>>27797486
>like 2 terabytes of that porn is me fucking the 4 sex dolls Ive owned
That sounds hot desu, assuming you're a twink or at least not a fatty. Post vids.
>2 phone jammers
>3 pagers
>1 registered gun
>2 unregistered guns
>counterfeit cash
>some knives
>several jumper cables
>bolt cutter
>lock-master set
>lock-box hidden somewhere in the walls
those are the only inherently suspicious things that I can think of
my HDDs are sufficiently protected against CB so no details on that
>>27797835
>what kind of retard would go through someone's books
Google a proper burglary, familam; they fuck everything up and throw shit all over the damn place. Book shelf would be one of the first things tipped over
>>27809479
Oh I'm sorry, I'll make something up next time anon. Please forgive my normieness.
But in all seriousness, consider suicide
>>27809589
damn what the hell do you use that shit for?will trade rare pepes for more info!
They would see nothing new.
Just everything in my room that they would've seen normally everyday, because they take care of me; one of them tries to anyway.
At worst, I guess they would find out how much of a failure I really was in college.
>>27796234
Nice post Hayden
All my onaholes. Some buttplugs I bought and didn't even like so I only used once. Hopefully they don't look on my hard drives. I have asked a friend to destroy all my hard drives if I die before anyone else can get to them.
>>27796128
Cum stain on the floor. Video games. That's about it.
old graphics cards
olds clothes
old dvds
tat
that's all
i'm good to go tee bee aitch
>a couple Disney Infinity figures
>shemale porn, various sick hentai porn, disney porn if they check my hdd
I regret nothing.
A bunch of e-juice, a few mods, my computer, my clothes, various knick knacks I've kept over the years, my herpes medication, a ton of deck of cards, a couple of board games, my phone, various parts to electronics, and me.
>>27796308
>my criminal records
What crimes have you committed?
>backlogs of all of the threads I made on /r9k/ from 2008-2012
Pure octane autism.
A few piss bottles. Nothing major.
>>27796128
The worst thing would be a lock box with stuff for rolling spliffs in it (no weed right now though). Nothing else noteworthy really
Weed. And a loooong note asking to freeze me/clone me in the event of my death.
My dead body
blox
I have a flash drive with 20gb of porn, most of which isn't hugely fucked up. I have a shit ton of various and mostly bodybuilding supplements lying around, which I guess my family might equate with steroid use if they don't know any better. That's probably as bad as it gets.
a mountain of trash and assorted thing i cant throw out,
and my birds. i hope they find me before they die.
>>27796405
Why is the bottle of syrup not counted as a food item?
Trash, suicide letters, a journal, all of my shitty world-building papers and drawings, and my Midna folder.
>>27810697
I'm also a hairy fuck and have to manscape regularly out of pure necessity. I have a body hair shoebox I change out regularly because it would somehow be more awkward to have someone over and see a fucking pound of pubes in the trash bin. Lol at mom finding my pube box.
>>27797653
>>the toy bb gun I use to simulate shooting myself almost every night
>>27796128
My dorm room is so empty and lifeless that it barely seems like a person lives here. I might as well not exist.
>2 suitcases (1 not even unpacked)
>1 laptop
>bedsheets
>1 pillow
>1 bar of soap in the bathroom
>a garbage can with some soup cans and empty pasta boxes
>empty fridge
>>27812269
Oh, and 1 toothbrush+a tube of toothpaste
My room is tiny and I only care about my computer.
It is heavily encrypted for good reasons.
Cups
Licorice packets
Cumstained sheets
bydlo chair
clothes
nothing interesting...
>>27797558
Mate just to abroad or something. I'd visit Japan or something if I were you, make the most of it.
Don't be fucking lazy and let that money go to waste. I'd kill to have that right now.
