>tfw 24 and never bought condoms
>>27749567
The only condoms I own are ones that my brother once gave me when he and his girlfriend started getting serious
>Here anon, have these. It's not like you'll ever use them though
Yeah, thanks bro.This was 6 years ago. Should I throw them out?
>>27749567
>tfw no magnum dong comdoms
kek you reminded me that i still have that one condom they gave us on the first year of high school during sex ed
been in my pocket for 6 years now
>2016
>using condoms
I don't even use them with escorts. What makes a regular woman worthy of using one?
>>27749567
I was 24 before I bought condoms. Bought my first ones last year because it's a new girlfriend.
Last girlfriend hated them.
>>27749617
Yes, they're expired now.
>keep a box of large condoms next to my bed so anyone who is over thinks Im normal
>no one ever comes over
>>27749567
tfw I bought lots of condoms but used em to cover cucumber I shoved up my ass.
My friends jokingly gave me a condom. I later jerked off into it.
Thus begins and ends my experience with condoms.
>>27749681
Fucking kek. What do they feel like? I might go buy a small pack just to try that
I don't even know how to put one on
I bought a pack one time. It was after I had been lifting for about 2 years and made some pretty outstanding changes to my body, I actually was happy with how I looked in the mirror and confident enough to have sex if some female asked me to.
Never used them and now im back in bulking mode.
>>27749659
>don't even use them with escorts
Jesus man, it's like you're trying to get an STD or some sgit
>>27749670
Ultimate kek
>>27749729
I tried it once and it didn't work at all. Good thing I'll never actually have to use one thoughfucking kill me already
>>27749727
Pretty whatever really. You can only feel the motion on your dick but not the actual contact of skin on skin.
Sliding it on felt nice but that is probably because it was the only time I ever slid my dick into something.
good on you OP. Sex with condoms sucks. I'd rather just get a blowie
>>27749785
>he doesn't own an onahole
Top pleb
>>27749751
If you're not like ridiculously fat when you bulk a lot of chicks would probably still wanna fo it with you. It's the whole dad bod kinda thing I think.
Or maybe not, idk. Have fun witg it my man
>>27749567
>mfw 25 and only used condoms like 10 times
i've fucked my wife probably over a thousand times now i completely forget often that condoms are a thing. they ruin everything about sex family just YOLO when you get the chance.
Some queer I partied with one night gave me a packet of lubricant and a condom to fuck another girl who was wanting the cock from me.
I just felt her ass, tempted her by rubbing her pussy beneath the blanket (there were other people in the room) and kissed her and felt her tits. Never fucked her though because she was a Tumblr-type although she was really into me - just proves if you're tall and good looking, these feminists will still crave your dick - they still have their primal urges.
I told her I'd call her sometime at the weekend and we'd fuck then but never bothered.
Still have the condom however should I need it. I have never bought condoms, just taken them off of others, used to steal them from my sister to have a posh wank with all the time.
>>27749833
Terrible bait lad, try harder next time.
>>27749729
its easy. just put it over your dick and pull the ring down. make sure the inflated tip is sticking outward. also youre supposed to pinch the tip of the condom i believe.
>>27749861
condoms DO ruin sex though. just makes it feel like nothing and smell like latex
>>27749866
T.chaddesusempai
>>27749884
im a virgin though kind anon
>>27749752
>conds le protect from stds ;)
From stuff in the cum, maybe.
Enjoy your surprise warts on your balls btw.
>>27749940
>finger girl
>wipe eye
woops. gonorrhea eye
>>27749752
>implying I'll live long enough to die from it
Even if I get AIDS I'll be 80 before it threatens my health. But I can pass it along to roasties an then from them to their Chad bfs
It surprises me anyone uses condoms. Especially if your not planning on living long anyway
Yes. It's really easy. It's like a little balloon. You can imagine why you wouldn't want to leave an air pocket when you roll it down.
My dad got me a pack and I jerked off into all of them.
>>27749981
Your supposed to leave the little air pocket near the tip for your cum to fill
>>27749968
Easy way to prevent babies since pulling out is rocket science to normies. That's the only reason.
>>27750021
>prevent babies
the best way to do that is to never give the girl your real name
Anyone else tried buying the largest condoms to impress the cashier?
>>27749659
How do you go around telling the escort you don't want rubber?
Thinking of making my first time more memorable...
>>27750080
I don't even know what stores sell condoms...
Drugstores/pharmacies?
>>27750150
Supermarkets have them as well I think.
>>27750231
just ask the cute girl stocking shelves where to find condoms, but she needs to personally show you where they are. then ask her questions about which ones she prefers
Who /scaredtobuycondoms/ here? I don't think I could do it anons......
>>27750294
buy them with some cucumbers. then they'll know they aren't going to go on your peepee
>>27750268
be like
I tried this x-brand but they are to small just break. Do you have something for a well equipped man?
>>27750357
>"oh okay, what material does your boyfriend prefer to put on his penis?"
>>27750378
>"I think he prefers the feel of the ones with strawberry flavor"
>>27750378
>oh sorry
>run out of store
>>27750432
>huh, his bf must've texted him
>>27749567
probably from all that bareback sex you must be having
>>27749681
We got condoms at the beginning of uni. I took two, jerked off in one to see how it felt, and hid one in my dresser in case I ever get a girl in my room. That condom will be there until the heat death of the universe.
>>27750442
Kekkkkkkkkkkkkk I laughed
>24
>bought condoms once 10 years ago
>didn't use any of them
>still kv
>>27750294
Scared of a stranger thinking you're normal? Heh, you belong here.
>go to doctors for prescribed medicine
>she has a box of condoms on the desk
>when she leaves I grab one out of curiosity and sneak it I my backpack
>try at home later, ring won't fit around my girth
>frustrated, go buy a box of large sized condoms
>try at home later, ring still feels way too tight around my girth, can't get it all the way down
FUCK
DO I NEED TO FILL IT WITH LUBE OR SOMETHING
JESUS
>buy condoms consistently for the past 5 years
>still hate buying them
>>27750654
>ring wont fit around my girth
The ring isn't supposed to fit around your cock, it's supposed to be rolled down your cock
>>27750706
are you stupid? to roll it down your cock it needs to fit around your cock first. what sort of mental problems do you have?
>>27749727
Not that different from regular jerking off. The main benefit is not having to worry about making a mess.
>>27750761
Grab 50 rubbers band and stretch them.
Now see how much further you can stretch them but with only 5 rubber bands.
As you roll it down, it becomes easier. And your dick isn't a literal cylinder with a flat top, unless the mohel your parents hired gave your dick the 1990s Will Smith cut.
>>27750806
now you just have a gross condom to put in your garbage, opposed to hankies you can flush
>>27750856
>wasting water on your jizz tissue
Fucking first world retards. Press hard on your gooch/taint when you're cumming. Very little/perhaps none will come out.
>>27749567
i bought once because it was required by the biology teacher.
>>27750856
I've always just wrapped them in toilet paper, squeezed everything out and flushed. Unless you leave air inside or your pipes suck, they should be safe to flush.
>>27750614
>didn't masturbate until I was 15
I never had a chance
>>27750856
What the fuck, why not just masturbate directly into the toilet?
>>27750943
Why not just open your window and toss it up onto the roof?
>>27750896
That doesn't sound healthy
>>27750896
that fucks up your orgasm, shithead
just cum in your mouth, fucking third world shits
>>27750357
condoms don't break retard they can stretch to fit at least 20l of water
>>27750976
You try bringing your desktop and 27" monitor into the bathroom to fap to 1080p porn while living with your parents.
>>27750983
Why the fuck do you care? You're not having kids.
I've been doing it for 15 years and still jizz way too much if I don't.
t. my girlfriend's complaints
>>27749567
>>tfw 24 and never bought condoms
had any children yet? :D:D:D:D
>>27750896
I don't pay for water in my condo, so whatever
>>27750943
why would they NOT be safe to flush, anon? you realize those pipes are actually made for TP and huge shits right? I mean unless you cum crazy glue, its nothing in comparison to what the pipes are made for
>>27750992
>fucks up your orgasm
I fail to see what you imply. Your orgasm isn't a result of the sensation of your jizz shooting through your pipeline and out your dick. Your orgasm is literally biological blackmail to get you to physically crave to even have sex in the first place because "oh that felt good".
>>27750080
>Go to supermarket
>See qt cashier
>Go get some magnum condoms along with my food
>Go to her
>She sees the condoms
>"Aren't those a bit big for you?"
>>27751094
>things that never happenedthis is original you fucking captcha-resetting bot
>>27751118
your mum never happened you fagit
>>27751024
>I don't pay for water means it should be wasted because it comes from thin air which is why it's free
Whether you pay for it or not is inconsequential. Of course you'd know this if you ever paid a water bill in your life and realized how cheap water is, but of course you haven't because
>water is free in my condo
You should care to conserve existing freshwater supplies because it's limited. Being wasteful for the sake of burning off some supposed excess (here and now; not there and then) is a fool's endeavor.
>>27751183
>You should care to conserve existing freshwater supplies because it's limited.
But I don't. I'll leave the caring about stupid things to you.
>>27751221
>hydration is stupid
I agree, smarten up and stop drinking water.
Who needs condoms when your kinks are too weird to make you ever be attracted to any real person?
>>27751298
You're the one who cares about the reclining water tables or whatever the fuck. Why don't YOU do your part and stop using any water?
>>27751357
Because I already don't ab-use water like you've plainly stated you do, because "I don't have to pay for it so I don't care!"
How the fuck are you so absent-minded?
>>27751353
>can't get off without pieing myself in the face
Kill me
>>27751713
I'm fucking dying desu
>>27749645
You've carried it around for six years in your pocket? You needed reminding of that?
