>tfw mom found your weed helmet
>>27740878
wtf is a weed helmet dude
>>27740878
>Anonymous 04/09/16(Sat)10:28:32 No.27
your fucking what?
>tfw mom found the pus jar
>tfw mom found my r9k cock folder
>tfw mom found the meth armor
>>27740894
>>27740935
It is like beer helmet but instead of cans there are bongs.
>>27740878
>tfw my mum found my niggers in my closet
>tfw gardener found the crack cracker
>tfw dad found my heroin sword
>grandmother found the poop sack
>she died
>tfw your twin sister found your booger cabinet
>tfw mom picked your fap tissues
>tfw mom found my my little pony erotic fanfiction when I used to be a brony.
>tfw mom found my DMT mace
>tfw mom found your ass cactus
>>27740894
>>27740935
>>27740985
weed helmet
>>27741091
That cat is cute as fuck.
>be teenager
>just getting into porn
>would print out r34 pictures from my parents' PC and fap to them in the bathroom
>flush the pictures down the toilet afterwards, remove the evidence
>one night all we had was cardstock
>printed out some r34 of ms krabappel
>fap to it in the bathroom, try to flush it down but it won't go
>end up trying to crumple it up and shove it down the toilet hoping that will work
>a little bit later, my mom comes up to me, clearly drunk
>"hey anon, next time you need to throw some paper away, don't try to flush it down the toilet, it can't handle it"
>"I don't care what you're looking at, it's fine, just be careful with the toilet"
>she fucking saw the crumpled up edna krabappel pinup I was fapping to
I remember my mum accidentally found my google search history when I was twelve.
Mostly Dragonball Z hentai, flash cartoons and fanfiction.
Learned how to wipe my history sharpish
>tfw mom found the jankem jacket
>>27741242
>first time ever looking at porn
>typed something generic into google like "big boobs"
>parents pull into driveway
>panic and delete internet explorer
>>27741320
Did they ask why you deleted IE?
>>27741338
I was just known for ruining computers after that, and every PC we owned had a password on it. REEEEEEEE
One time one of our computers had a really bad porn popup virus, and everyone in my family blamed me for it. I was scared shit less to look at porn after that incident, and obviously nobody believed me because I'm the only male in the family
>be gone for the weekend
>come home
>enter room
>room cleaned
>look for coke glove
>it's gone
>mom's wife found the tungsten tickle box
>>27741320
>look up porn for the first time
>type in "nakedladies.com"
>bunch of lesbians eating each other out
>fucking terrified, close it immediately
>>27741173
that show was fucking horrible both you and me should kill ourselves for having watched it
>>27741423
Sure it was shit, but if you think about it, a tv show being shitty really isn't all that bad. Most tv shows are shit^2 at a minimum and quite a lot are shit^shit.
>great grandpa from WWII found the haberdasher fuck skull
>>27741578
Has flashback because he was stranded on a tropical island in ww2, and had friends eaten and there skulls turned into bowls.
Kills whole family
>tfw mom found my weed knife
>tfw mom found my swans t-fhirt
>tfw mom finds your shitscoop.
>>27740980
underrated post
888
>tfw third cousin twice removed found toenail guitar
>>27742907
>LEGALIZE IT
Makes me chuckle every time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXAj-5S71Sw
> Parole officer found the taint tricycle
>tfw my hickory sausage rotor was found
>uncle uncovered uterus unicycle
>Daughter found my loli pumper
>tfw sister found my malaysian coconut ladle
>early high school
>go through phase of drawing laughably bad gfur basically learning to draw with zero experience
>phase passes and I forget about it
>five years later mom finds sketches wedged between books on my shelf I forgot about
It was pretty awkward but went away quick, I think my mom just mentally blocked it because she is a massive bible thumper and couldn't handle it
fucking hate when that happens, moomintroll
>at my mother's friends house
>mom's friend has a daughter a little younger than me
>we play on their computer while grownups do whatever outside
>hey girl, check this out
>poopie.com
>gay.com
>vajeyna.com
>mfw didn't clear the history
>mom found the crying towel
>>27743302
>you also found poopie.com as a kid
no fucking way holy shit
>for my ninth birthday parents take me to Hooters
>they me this calender filled with half naked hooters girls as a joke
>few weeks later
>mom catches me jacking off to January girl
>>27743348
I saw this image called "the poopie list". Basically it listed all the types of poopies you can have, like corn poopie or wet poopie. It made me laugh for a thousand years so I was trying to find it to show my friend and searched poopie.com
>tfw little sister holds your perineum pincer and asks you what it is
>tfw mum finds your quints
>>27740878
>tfw dad founds my crack bulldozer
>tfw dad found the spunk umbrella
>tfw mommy found my masturbation diapers
>>27743370
>January girl
Shit taste confirmed.
>>27740878
>tfw dad founds your battle brick butler
>>27743370
Literally what did they expect? Why the fuck did they take a 9 year old to Hooters? That's obviously going to mess with you.
It's stories like these that help me understand why /r9k/ is.
>Mom found the poop box
>>27744443
You fail at everything, don't you?
>pops found the pube glove
>mom found my LSD socks
>son found my sex stilts
>be 11
>days of dial up and IE
>computer is downstairs but i stay up all night playing aoe2 all the time, mum doesn't care
>discover porn
>download lots and lots of porn
>11 so wtf how do i internet
>computer quickly becomes infested with porn, links all over the browser, built in porn ads, pop ups every 2 minutes
>sister uses computer one day
>bombarded with pop ups for "sexy asian sluts" (i remember this vividly)
>computer is moved to my room and becomes just my computer
where all this began
kek
>Husband's daughter found the chyme crockpot
>mum found my weed jar
>tfw I find my parents alcohol bottles everyday
>>27746545
>tfw my parents find mine
>boss found my yugioh cards
>parents find my dead body
>found my local NEET's autism box
>>27746717
Underrated post
>>27746717
>parents live 10 hours away so the first they'll hear of it is from the police
Feels good that they won't even have the satisfaction of finding me
>>27746951
>your parent want you to die
Watch it so you don't cut yourself on that edge
>dad found the anal fisher
