I miss doing drugs.
I miss the feeling of that first line of coke. The blurred lights when the ecstasy kicks in. The warmth of painkillers engulfing my body.
I've been clean for almost 4 months now, mostly because of the damage it was doing to my life, finances, and social life.
I gave up the life in the pursuit of "normal" and friendship. But now I have neither. Before I always had people to hang out with and things to do. Now I find myself eating meals alone and spending my days off/weekends doing nothing.
I want the life back. This world isn't for me. I miss the tiny bits of happiness I managed to steal with drugs.
Anyone else /about to relapse/ here?
Recovering alcoholic and coke user here. I'm already on the verge of relapse. Sober life ain't worth it man.
RELAPSE
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>been clean so long all my contacts are dead
>going through old texts trying to find a connect
>strongly considering using darknetor something
>quiting in the first place
Surely you've realized that regardless of what you do in life, normies will always and forever see you as nothing more than a dirty druggie
I've been smoking weed for four years and I really wish I could stop. I want to stop rotting my brain so I can achieve the intellectual things that I would like to achieve, but weed has such a bearing on my social life that I can't stop without having my day-to-day life change completely. and if I did stop and lose most of my friends and plans, then I would become even more depressed than I already am, which would cause me to lose the motivation for intellectual pursuits
When people want you to quit they talk you into it. Telling you they'll support you and help you.
Then the weekend hits and their idea of a fun night is sitting on the couch watching reruns.
I can't work my life away to spend my moments of freedom trapped in my own house.
Alcohol doesn't cut it. Weed doesn't cut it. Once you've felt a real high, how can anything else ever compare? How can you settle for a normal life once you've seen how much fun life CAN be?
>inb4 work out, get a hobby, etc etc etc. it obviously doesn't compare.
>>27738690
normies are druggies
>>27738747
become bipolar and experince mania its even better than cocaine
>>27738592
Fuck them man. It's always other people with the who have a problem with you doing drugs or drinking.
>"stop anon! You're ruining your life and bringing everyone down and setting a bad example and it's illegal and bad and bla bla bla"
Fuck off. If you are ok with what your doing then keep fucking doing it. People don't know what its like to go through shitty times and the relief drugs give you.If YOU think it's a problem, and you're life will be better without it, then try to stop. Otherwise fuck it.
>>27738690
>implying normies aren't the one who are drugged every weekend
>>27738789
How do i "become bipolar"
Think of it like this.
If you have an addiction, you are weak.
And weakness must be purged
I'm on the same boat. I used to do drugs everyday for 3 years. Did all sorts of shit. From heroin to bath salts and everything in between. Quit for 5 months. I have nothing in my life. No friends, no direction, nothing. I'm just unlikable. If I try to make friends, people automatically see me as a piece of shit because I used to do drugs. I have to keep up a charade of lies in order to be anyone's friend, it's stupid. Today the feeling was particularly shitty. I broke and went out and bought this. Only reason I haven't taken them yet is because I'm scared of what it's going to do to my brain. I'm pretty sure I'm developing schizophrenia. Going to wait until it's bright out to do it in order to keep the paranoia at a minimum.
>>27738840
But if happiness is the cost, is it really worth it?
This board is filled with miserable depressed people who are sober every moment of every day.
At least when I'm fucked up, for the moment, I've managed to steal some of the happiness I can't seem to get from anything or anyone else.
>>27738656
Use reddit roll call. You're welcome
>>27738840
Think you're on the wrong board, normo
sigh I wish I had druggie friends
>>27738592
The key to sobriety is filling the void with non destructive activities. You're already fucked for life because you overloaded your dopamine receptors so now you have to find something other than drugs to find happiness.Sex and relationships won't fill the void either.
>>27738592
being sober fucking sucks, there's just no replacing that certain joy and beautiful feels that happens with just the right amount of alcohol or drugs. literally everything feels so dull and flat now.
>>27738894
That's great, do you know of anything similar for blow or x
>>27738934
Exactly. I spent the last two years of my life living the lifestyle. With drugs come parities and loose women. Poor choices, great nights.
Normal life just doesn't compare. At all. It's like settling for stale ham and cheese sandwiches after 2 years of fillet minion or whatever
>>27738938
Its like I'm trapped in the movie Groundhog Day. Every day is exactly the same as the one before it. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing to get excited for. No joy no happiness. Only the constant weight of boredom and loneliness. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is as good sober as it is fucked up.
>>27738859
Just remember set and setting. Don't psyche yourself out and you will not trip out
>>27738739
That's the way I feel senpai, I have so many great, intellectual friends that I would grow apart from if I stopped smoking weed. I think the solution is to incorporate it into your life and still achieve your goals and maintain your relationships.
Easier said than done, though.
Fuck op you're scaring me, the friends I hang out with and do drugs with are getting clean and improving their lives, I'm going to try to quit as well but I know when there's no drugs and they don't know what to do because we've spent the last few years smoking and Fucking around we're going to get bored and I'm gonna be alone again.
>>27739326
Someone, a lot of people actually, have told me we should do what makes us happy. Regardless of what other people think say or do.
Life is too short, too cold and too lonely, too hard, to give up whatever few precious things bring you happiness. Even if that means drugs.
>>27738592
yeah.. it's mostly a money thing for me.
>>27738954
I think there might be other roll calls for them. Im not exactly sure as heroin was my thing. I will say ive used the site for connects successfully quite a few times but have ben robed once.
>>27738592
After you quit doing drugs you idealize all the best highs you got. Most highs are just okay, but those aren't the ones you think about. You also don't dwell on all the problems drugs created, and all the ways your life is better without drugs isn't very sensational or fascinating. You're doing yourself a big favor by kicking the habits, and try to force yourself to specify all the improvements quitting has had on your life. When you relapse you probably tell yourself "Oh, it's just one high" but it's never just one last one. Once do just some drugs you'll end up going back to your old habit and all the problems that go with it.
Like someone else said, quitting is all about finding things to fill the void that drugs left behind in your life. It's not normal the do drugs and only drugs with your life. That's one of the ways drugs ruin user's lives: it takes away all the other things that make life worth living. Over time you'll find more and more things to do with your time that you enjoy, and the longer you're clean the easier it gets.
