>be 8-10 year old me
>driving home from the store with mom
>she asks me what the difference is between male and female deer is
>i answer that male deer have antlers
>she asks for a different difference
>i say that female deer are smaller
>she again asks for another difference
>i can't think of one
>she starts getting pissed and demands another difference
>after a few minutes of us going back & forth like this, she yells "THE MALE DEER HAS A PENIS, A GODDAMN PENIS"
>don't speak for the rest of the drive
wtf was with that
she wanted to fuck you, and you failed her you retard. You could of got your penis sucked on.
>>27738265
>be with babysitter's daughter, we're both 6
>she wants to play wedding
>I really don't want to
>she tells me to kiss her
>look around frantically for her parents and say we're not supposed to
>she grabs me and lands a nasty wet one on my lips
>spit because it's nasty
>later she made me show her my genitals
She's a total slut now, should've noticed in the formative stages
>>27738319
She was probably molested :/
>not original
>>27738265
Your mother's a whore, Anon. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.
>mom puts me in a Montessori pre school.
>a lot of weird fucks there
>make a friend named Cameron.
>my memory is really patchy, but I do recall him being really pervy and fucking weird.
>4 year old me was clueless
>once he came over to my house
>dumbass me wet the bed the night before, my mattress was still stinky and moist.
>he fucking wipes his face on my piss-stained mattress.
>I don't fucking know what to do, just laugh nervously.
>after a while I go tell mom.
>we come back and he went through my hamper and put some poopy undies over his face.
That's all I remember. I ended up going to the same high school as him. We were in separate classes. I'm still weirded out by him.
>>27738697
I'm remembering some more
>go to his house one day
>lived in a large home in the suburbs
>single mom, big surprise
>mom and I walk in, his foyer has some sort of spiraly staircase.
>Cameron emerges from a room upstairs in his mom's laced nightrobe
>begins to walk down the stairs slowly and seductively.
>I begin laughing nervously
My mom never took me over there after that
>fast forward to his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.
>I get him some transformer toy or some shit like that
>his mom gives him a Dorothy costume from The Wizard of Oz
>came with a blue dress, red slippers, and that fucking dog Todo
>it was his favorite gift.
>be me in 3rd grade
>have kid in class named Calvin
>nigga thinks he really is Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes
>tries to act witty and quirky, just weirds everyone out
>actually brings stuffed tiger with him to school
>one day teacher is fed up with him not paying attention
>takes tiger
>Calvin begins screaming like a fucking banshee
>He makes a mad dash and tries to take back stuffed tiger
>Struggle ensues and he loses
>Runs over to trashcan and begins pissing in it
>Runs out of door, apparently he also locked himself in the bathroom before janitor got there.
>He shit in a urinal and got suspended
>>27738697
What was he like in HS?
>>27738870
Quiet. All I knew was that he was out of the closet. We pretended not to know eachother
>>27738697
>>27738803
cameron is such a robot name
>>27738865
haha what a fucking madman
>>27738897
>out of the closet
Nigga that guy didnt just go out of the closet he went out of the motherfucking house.
>early elementary school
>it's recess
>playing on the monkey bars
>everyone is sitting up on top of them and doing crazy shit like hanging upside down by their legs
>terrified of heights so i'm stuck on the ground
>finally climb up, hang on the bars, and start working up the courage to pull myself up to sit on top
>kid in my class is standing over me with his legs spread between the two lengthwise supporting bars and taunting me
>get pissed off and halfheartedly hit at one of his feet with one hand
>it actually makes him lose his balance
>he falls with one of the bars directly in between his legs racking his balls like in some sort of skateboarding blooper reel or something
>it's so bad that a few minutes later when we're all in the bathroom he actually pisses blood
>entire class makes fun of him for "having his period"
>he becomes the loser kid in class instead of me
>he's constantly ridiculed for YEARS (it was a very small K-8 school and we all stayed there until 8th grade) and it turned him into a violent delinquent some time around late middle school
>mfw he ended up having a kid with some trailer trash roastie and then went to prison
i literally ruined his life, feels strange man
>Kindergarten
>Cute redhead named Sheila
>Was probably legit autistic, didn't say a word to anybody and didn't even play with the other kids, she just sat there day in and day out
>Fascinated by her hair, start handing around her more and more
>One day she comes to school with a bad cough, for some reason that makes me even more attracted to her
>Take her hand and lead her behind a door and repeatedly ask her "do you have a cough?"
>kiss her a few times
>mfw she didn't even react
>mfw in restrospect I might have had a kid-boner whenever she coughed
>>27738290
okay reddit. nap time
>>27739017
Fucking savage. Good job anon.
>be obsessed with pokemon in 3rd grade
>2 weird kids are friends, one is a ginger that slobbers everywhere, the other is bald
>they say they'll trade pokemon cards with me in the bathroom
>follow them into dimly light moldy ass gas station bathroom
>redhead turns off the lights
>they start giggling
>lights flip back on and baldy has his dick out
>bolt out of that bathroom faster than a jolteon
>>27739017
ORIGINALLOY YOU FUCKING BASTARD...
>kid pulled down my pants in front of the neighborhood
>punched him
>went home
>plotted revenge
>mixed peanut butter, jelly, and various other ingredients into a weird jam that I then rolled up in a slice of bread
>waited till his family had a barbecue
>threw it over the fence into their backyard
It was underwhelming.
>be me in 6th grade
>kid I'm friends with is kinda weird/smelly, goes by David
>one advisory period we're drawing, for some reason he has no paper
>but i dont give him any, (just being a malicious kid)
> he gets mad and tears multiple pieces of paper out of my binder
>shoves them all in his mouth and chews, spits them out onto desk
>both of us get detention
>he does it again in detention, our sentence gets extended by 2 hours
He was a fucking retard 80% of the time, but he was a great friend.
one time in 7th grade our teacher made us all get up and walk around in a circle because no one was answering any of her questions, so I stole everyone's pens and pencils. I thought it was fucking hilarious but they were more annoyed than anything.
It was weird.
>>27739379
>It was underwhelming
Kek
I'm chock full of these. My middle school was right next to a fucking gang warzone, so all kinds of crazy shit went down
>me and friends playing out on soccer field
>at one point we start playfighting
>punching, elbowing, kneeing, kicking each other, but not knocking each other out
>all of a sudden we hear, "FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!"
>we all fucking turn pale
>"DON'T FUCKING MOVE! HANDS UP!" voice yells repeatedly
>"I SAID HANDS UP AND GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!"
>me and my friends lay down on the ground, i can see one is on the verge of tears.
>"YOU MOVE AND I'LL SHOOT"; friend starts crying quietly
>hear voice again: "This is Officer Swanson, we've detained two suspects outside school perimeters...yada yada"
>we all realize our on-campus officers were surrounding a shady vehicle with potheads in it
>we all stand up and say nothing on our way back to class
>>27739702
>I'm chock full of these
Don't fucking leave us hanging then you piece of shit.Also lose the empty lines when you greentext.
>>27739017
no-one liked him anyway and people were just waiting for a chance to rip on him.
>>27739379
were you hoping that they would eat it?
