How do you cope with the fact that there's no justice?
I used to believe in a religion, now I don't. I didn't realize how valuable the concept of judgment day is. That all the wrongs will be righted in the end. Then I thought maybe karma was a thing, but there's clearly none in this life, and I don't really believe it exists?
My ex is a horrible person, treated me like shit, but will go on and live a happier life than me. Fucking why. The Chads and rich kids from high school will always be more successful. How do I accept that there is no justice, not now, not ever?
>>27716703
be thankful you're aware of it at all
most people don't even think about that shit
>>27716727
That would be nice. I wish I could be ingorant and forget this shit. Like my ex just moved on, no big deal, when they were the one who fucked everything up. And I'm left recovering for months. Why am I like this, why can't it just be a little fair?
It would be hard for my ex to have a worse life than me, but yeah she was a rotten bitch because i was autistic. Just fuck my whole life up family
What type of Judgement Day were you hoping for, OP? One where people get tossed into eternal flames? Or a more sophisticated version?
What you know for sure, 100%, is that soon both you and your ex are going to be dead. You also know for sure that nobody benefits from past pleasure, or pain. When someone does something hurtful to another person, they might do it out of ignorance, or out of malice - in either case, the very action of hurting another degrades them in a way.
Would it be possible, though, to try to be understanding of her? However shittily she treated you, there must have been reasons for it. Haven't you hurt other people and regretted it later?
>>27716843
More sophisticated I guess. Just the idea of a higher power bringing actual justice, balancing the scales.
The whole "we'll both be dead in the end" brings me no satisfaction. For the time we are conscious [he] will be happier. I used to believe as well that them being a douchebag degrades them as you say...but does it really? They can move on without guilt, go be awful, fuck around, lie, cheat, steal, and still sleep sound as can be at night. Then repeat and be happy. That doesn't sound like they are losing. In a way I'm jealous. I don't understand. I know they fucked up ( horny, liar, needs to feel attention) but that didn't really make me understand why now does it?
Bummpp :/
>>27716955
>For the time we are conscious [he] will be happier.
Well look at it this way. You're living on a planet where some people starve to death before they're 4, some people spend 50 years in intense physical pain, some people suffer the worst sorts of emotional distress... while others live lives of security, or health, happiness, etc. All of this is still going on around you, and you're interacting with it. The world isn't fair. So why even try comparing your happiness to his?
>They can move on without guilt, go be awful, fuck around, lie, cheat, steal, and still sleep sound as can be at night. Then repeat and be happy. That doesn't sound like they are losing.
Not everything is about 'happiness'. Someone who acts like this is genuinely losing something valuable, they're turning their face away from what's important - and as they do this they rarely really avoid the consequences. Do you want to become 'hardened' like that?
>I know they fucked up ( horny, liar, needs to feel attention) but that didn't really make me understand why now does it?
All you need to understand is that he's a human being capable of making the wrong choices, and you're responsible for your own choices and your own happiness. Obviously it'll take time to work through the pain, but you can. Here's an example from my own life - people have hurt me badly. At one point I became a vegan, but it was only years after becoming a vegan that I realised - I don't feel sorry about the many animals who were killed so I could eat. It's hard for me to elicit sympathy for the suffering of creatures I never saw, let alone saw in pain. Does that make me COMPLETELY worthless, though? No, I'm a limited human being, I'm trying my best. Try to find examples like this from your own life where you may have hurt others and never done anything to apologise, or where you may still not regret it. He's just like that.
>>27717142
I still disagree with your second comment. They didn't harden themselves, there's just legitimately a lot of people who don't really have a conscience and I see that as more of a benefit in practicality.
I don't know if I've forgiven. In the sense of absolving him of guilt, no, you seem like you would though. Some things just aren't okay. But in the sense of moving on and not being angry about it, yes (although I'm clearly not quite there yet).
I agree with you otherwise though robot. But the real task then is how do I learn to stop comparing myself to him and others? It seems like an impossible feat to me.
justice is just a label
for all you sad fucks on here, why don't you just go pursue enlightenment and reach a higher level of consciousness and have literally zero suffering in your life
you can be a neet that faps all day to do it, whatever, doesn't matter who are just fuckin do it
it's piss easy as well if you're clever
>>27717267
>I still disagree with your second comment. They didn't harden themselves, there's just legitimately a lot of people who don't really have a conscience and I see that as more of a benefit in practicality.
Ok, so you believe he lacks a conscience. Weren't you ever a kid who did things and only later realised how hurtful they were? I can think of lots of examples where I did this - for example I was often arrogantly insistent that my dad should be earning more to buy me what I wanted, and it was only when I'd worked for myself and been hurt by co-workers and so on that I realised what work actually is - that it takes effort and getting up on cold days and putting up with bullshit, and he did that and even took my attacks and didn't say anything back. I grew a conscience later on.
Maybe this is the core issue for you - you want him to 'see' your suffering, to understand what he put you through and to feel sorry for it. Personally I do believe in a final judgement (not in the hellfire sense), and in this final judgement he will know.
>But the real task then is how do I learn to stop comparing myself to him and others? It seems like an impossible feat to me.
Start by looking at people who have things worse than you. If you look around, I'm sure you'll find many. If you can have some empathy for them and see them as valuable human beings, you can build a sense of self-esteem that comes from within, founded on the value that all people are valuable.
>>27716780
you're like this because you're not stupid and because you have some moral character
it's not you, it's the world
I get by with forgiveness but it comes naturally to me
>>27717397
How do you forgive, F a m? How? Why can't I let go?
>>27717375
I see where you're coming from on conscience but still.... I don't have faith he'll see or acknowledge or suffer. I know him. But agree to disagree there mate.
Your core issue for me is pretty on the head.
Lots of people have it worse, lots have it better. Happiness can't be comparisons. How does that make any sense? I want to stop comparing and find objective happiness or at least let go of my sadness and depression. Doesn't matter if others are better or worse.
>>27716703
Start listening to angry rap music and stop giving people that fucked you over the time of day.
Also redefine what it means for someone to fuck you over.
If they treat you worse than you would treat someone you respect then they can fuck off.
>>27717545
>I don't have faith he'll see or acknowledge or suffer. I know him. But agree to disagree there mate.
You shouldn't want him to "suffer"! Presumably your either a gay male... or a female. In that case, statistically, you're THE most likely demographic to hurt other people in relationships. Are you incapable of seeing that under different circumstances you could have hurt someone the way he's hurt you? What would his suffering even produce that's of any value? If someone only feeds bad about things after being tortured, the aren't really sorry about anything.
>I want to stop comparing and find objective happiness or at least let go of my sadness and depression.
If you've already gone through a period of 'mourning' or whatever, over this situation, then start doing new things, having new experiences in a variety of ways (i'm not saying go sleep with anyone else, I'm thinking read new books, see new movies, listen to new music, go walking and explore the neighbourhood more, talk to new people). Try to eat well and stabilise your thoughts. Maybe create a document on your computer where you can process in a more logical manner the bad thoughts and feelings that arise. So say during a single day you have 4 major things that trigger you into feeling bad, they may be thoughts or memories or whatever - make note of all 4 and try to at least dismantle and challenge those thoughts\feelings in some way. Keep building on this file until you feel like you've dealt with most of the weight.
By doing shit without fear of retribution
>>27717690
Okay sorry I didn't mean suffer, just feel guilt for his actions I guess. The suffering that would lead to a change, to becoming Better. I don't see him doing that, being wracked by his conscience.
The thing is though I didn't do what he did. I could have. I had opportunities to cheat, etc. But I never did. And I was honest the whole fucking time. And he only gave lies. So I don't know what your point is with the whole "you could have hurt others"... Yeah I could have...but I chose not to cuz I'm not an ass.
I journal, but I don't process my thoughts there much. I appreciate you talking with me, you must be a cyborg. I like talking to people.
>>27717839
>Yeah I could have...but I chose not to cuz I'm not an ass.
It's easy to say that, but look around you. It's very easy for people to cheat. What if he hadn't cheated? Are you sure at some stage later on you might not have gotten bored, or someone else wouldn't have come along that you fell for? Any reasonable person should be able to acknowledge that there's a chance that they could do this just as much as anyone else. I mean, were you married?? Did you both have an explicit agreement that neither of you would cheat? If you weren't married, do you really have a right to complain? What if he'd invested a lot in the relationship and you'd decided later on to terminate things without cheating? Is that fair to him?
Make your own justice, OP. Morality is subjective. Enforce yours by removing evil in the world.
