Hi guys.
I never make/start threads. I'm a guy who just lurks around and posts maybe once every so often. But fuck, I think I need to ask about some shit.
So I am 18 right now, almost 19, a senior in high school. (Please ignore the "edgy teenager" aspect.) For the last 6 years of my life, I have never had a real gf. Never had sex. Never did drugs or drank alcohol throughout high school. Had some mildly sexual experiences but nothing actually worth noting. I fucking missed out.
I used to come here as a sort of past time, a way to laugh at other people's failures to convince myself that I would never be THAT bad. But here I am, about to leave the last teenage years of my life. I've seen countless threads where robots will go on about how teen years were something that they should not have given up so easily. Because now, these guys are just lonely and angry at the world. What really gets to me is how detailed they describe their lives sometimes. It's so mundane and depressing. No friends, no gf, no affection. They never knew how it felt to kiss a girl behind a school or ride around with friends at 2 am in the morning. The best years of their lives are gone, as they put it. I'm worried that I've already fallen in the same trap.
All these years I've gotten straight A's and completed countless service hours. For what? No girl ever paid attention to me. If they don't care now, why would they care when I'm 23? What have my accomplishments gotten me? I'll get into med school, probably become some surgeon or something, but how does that actually let me enjoy life? I'll just be working day after day, probably all alone, putting my money in the bank because I don't have enough time to do anything with it.
What the fuck do I do? Am I being pessimistic? Will I get laid in a year or so in college? Or is life as shitty as everyone says it is? Just someone fucking answer please. There must be a way to turn shit around.
Pic extremely related.
Eh, in Uni, you never know. When I was in HS, the main reason I didn't lose my virginity was I never had any idea girls liked me (I was told later that I came extremely close with this one girl, to my shock).
In Uni, I never left my dorm, shut myself off, and just reflected on matters of theology, history, and philosophy. I haven't had a conversation with anyone other than professors and clergymen since August.
Psychiatrist diagnosed me with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder on Monday; I had always had it, but only recently noticed it (as dumb as it sounds, I just assumed everyone had daily thoughts of suicide, raping their hot cousin, mass-shooting, and pedophilia; all against their will) because it was starting to lead to psychosis (hallucinations and delusions).
Most of the turbo nerd social outcasts I went to HS with wound up making great money got great jobs, some even slay puss on the reg
not right away mind you but they stayed on track and got there eventually
some of course stayed basement dwelling losers and are still pathetic losers all around, the trick OP isn't to strive to become a badass (unrealistic), its to make sure you don't wind up like 90% of the assholes on this board
Do whatever you have to do to make that happen
>>27716556
Glad someone replied. At least girls were into you. If girls actually liked me, I would know.
So did you actually fuck any girl yet? Is uni too late to get pussy?
>>27716663
(OP here) That's kind of what i'm asking. I already have a career in medicine set, all I have to do is wait and do some work. So all I have to do is get a nice job? Money is the answer?
>>27716672
I told you, I haven't even left my dorm except for food and class because I have been having a two-semester long descent into insanity caused by my OCD.
I've never admitted to a girl that I am attracted to them in a romantic or sexual way.
I'm 23 now. Never had a gf or friends throughout high school or college. I ended up moving across the country alone and got lucky making friends through someone I knew here. So it can get better I guess.
Still have a lot of self-hatred and anxiety though. Also no experience with women..
>>27716724
Fucking christ, so what do I do???? I don't have any disorders that I'm aware of, I'm just trying to enjoy life while I can.
>>27716360
I felt this feeling for a little over a month then it all came crashing down and I barely remember what it was like.
We would drive just to get lost
Walk the town at 2am by ourselves
Lay on picnic tables watching the sky
Kiss on park benches
then she tore my heart out and went on living.
I knew it wouldn't last but I just wish I could relive those moments...I 'd change so much... we never had sex though...we were both damaged goods and just having someone in our lives that shared mutual feelings and respect and even love for one another was enough until life got in the way. But that's how it goes brother. That's how it goes.
Someday I might feel that again.
>>27716820
just say fuck it dude and ask someone out. Work from there.
>tfw nihilist
>despite this, still have retarded social anxiety and care way too much about social norms, despite it not mattering at all according to my philosophy
fuck, why can't I just enjoy myself a bit before the abyss
