>clogged toilet with paper
>plunger won't work
>hot water method won't work
>sticking a wire to fish out paper won't work
>letting it disintegrate with time won't work
>have to pee in the shower
>I really have to poo
Senpai I fucked up. The piece of shit toilet even overflowed. My only hope is tomorrow morning it magically works or that my landlord comes to check it out, which I don't want to because I'm autistic as shit
What do famalam
>>27716089
drop waterproof fire crackers in the toilet
>>27716143
What good will that do
Your clog is probably way deep in the plumbing system and its been accumalating for months you need to rent a snake to declog it your self or call a plumber
>>27716089
This happened to me.
I shat in a bag. It was gross and I missed and poop smeared all over my hands and the floor.
>>27716183
Are plumbers cheap?
I really hope this is a temporary thing. Like maybe gone by tomorrow.
It kinda clogged yesterday but this morning it was fine. Now it's irreparable
>>27716212
I'm never gonna be too desperate to shit in a bag
>>27716089
>go to plumbing store
>buy industrial drain cleaner
>pour in, close lid, flush
Done n done.
That shit clears anything, my father had two jugs of that shit to use.
Took a break from my fap to fucking help you out, OP. You little fuck.
This worked for me, if you have a really high water level you may need to get a bucket and scoop water out with a glass or bowl into the bucketto lower the level:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3ovXAsvCnw
Once you've successfully done this you can get your landlord in and they won't see your poop.
You're welcome.
For a period of 11 months both toilets in my apartment were broken so I would take plastic shopping bags into the shower every morning and shit in those.
I then put those bags in a large black garbage bag until it was overflowing. Then I would put like six or seven more garbage bags over the shit-filled one because the smell was so intense and I had to sneak it down to the dumpster.
I would wait until after midnight to ensure that I wouldn't run into any neighbors and would sneak the enormous shit smelling bag down to the dumpster like I was disposing of a body. I always had to wait until the night before trash pick up because the smell of rotting shit in a hot dumpster would tip people off within the first day.
I finally got the toilets fixed though, so it's all good. This was just one isolated incident of intense laziness. The whole process became normal after a while and didn't even seem weird.
>>27716255
Call a plumber youre obviously to dumb to fix it yourself, to avoid this periodically pour drain cleaner down the pipes to help destroy the build up of tp before it becomes this bad.
>>27716321
Ok so I tried this a while ago with hot-boiling water and a little bit of soap. I didn't know I had to add more of it, and more soap. The thing is I can't really risk the flush not working because itll overflow and soap up my floors
>>27716089
go to the fucking hardware store and buy a snake, they're cheap.
shove the goddamn thing down there until in unclogs
jesus
Ok famm I'm obviously incapable of going to a hardware store right now cause it's midnight but I'm trying the water and soap trick first. Will update on results
>>27716682
Nigga stop being stupid call a plumber or rent a snake
>>27716732
Its 12 am I can't get either thing right now and I want a working fucking toilet. I want to wake up tomorrow morning and take a huge dump after my coffee without worrying about shit not flushing
Are you one of those idiots that uses wet wipes in the toilet?
>>27716783
No. I accidentally threw some kitchen paper towels inside when I was cleaning the bathroom. It was too much for the piece of shit porcelain cunt shit throne to handle
>>27716851
The clog is not in the toilet or else a plunger and a man would have unplugged it already
The orange stuff is dish soap. I'm 3 water bucket things in. I'm not sure this is gonna work
>>27716883
Yeah im afraid this is what's up. Will a snake help, then?
>>27716442
>soap up my floors
2 birds with 1 stone
you ain't using the plunger right dumbass
you have to dig that fucker into the commode and plunge that sucker
you can shower if it splashes on you, splash is not a concern, splash the fuck out of that toilet until it unclogs
>>27717016
Are plungers specifically for plus that are near the hole of the toilet? Because that shit is empty, this clog has to be deeper than that. It just doesn't give in.
>>27717109
you have to plunge harder
you're giving it the ol limpy wimp plunge, you have to show that toilet you know your shit
Caustic soda desu
>>27717128
I'm plunging the tits outta this bitch, water is splish splashing everywhere this bitch doesn't want to give in
>>27717198
place the plunger firmly over the whole, where it covers the entire hole
then plunge until you can't plunge anymore
trust
If there's any convenience store or 7/11 near you they might have draino or something
your plunger game is weak
>>27717220
I DID IT. YOU BEAUTIFUL MOTHERFUCKER, I DID IT. YOU WERE RIGHT.
THE PLUNGER WAS MOVING TO MUCH TO THE SIDES BUT I KNEELED DOWN AND CLIPPED IT INSIDE THE HOLE, AND WENT TO FUCKING TOWN. THE FLOOR IS ABSOLUTELY SOAKED BUT THE TOILET FLUSHED PERFECTLY
YEEEEESSSSSA
>>27717410
now remember what you have learned today
plunge that fucking toilet when it clogs
>>27717410
Youre one step closer to being a man, congrats
>>27717423
>>27717471
I honestly feel more accomplished now than I have in the past months. Thank you
>>27717149
It's supposed to be muriatic acid! These internet descriptions are iffy at best.
>>27717149
It'll deteriorate the PVC.
>>27716089
Sulfuric acid
Not even joking, it works insanely well
You can actually get it as drain cleaner at something like 98% concentration
>>27716682
I'm a plumber and it's usually not that expensive if it's just a minor problem, I really can't help you out much because I would need too see it first hand.
>>27717831
DO NOT DO THIS OP. It'll fuck up your plumbing in the long run
I have had this happen before. It's really stressful not being able to poop and my apartment was a fucking mess, so I couldn't call maintenance either. It just fucking fixed itself though, so I got lucky. I did accidentally flush down a plastic fork that I was using to dig around in the poop. Nothing ever came of that though.
And I'm thinking that you might need to reset the toilet. By that I mean taking it off and checking the problem from there. But call a Fucking plumber op.
>>27716327
You need serious help, dude.
Massively kek'd nevertheless.
>>27717911
>call a Fucking plumber
There are really people that do this.
They call someone to change light bulbs and batteries in their smoke detectors as well.
>>27716255
Get some stupid dangerous variants of the drain cleaner, The good old fashioned caustic shit.
Hey guys I'm the OP. If you don't feel like reading the thread, I already fixed the problem. Just needed more intense plunging
>>27717945
I'm actually a plumber though.
I love reading a success story like this. Made my day, OP. Also congrats on the working toilet, enjoy your poop.
>>27718086
It almost makes me hope my toilet gets clogged so I can unclog it and feel accomplishment.
>>27717945
>smoke detector
Nigga please!
>>27716089
Not having an American Standard 4 Max Toliet
Next time flush the turds, then flush the paper
Get one of Power Master Plunger or better yet a Johnny Jolter Power Plunger
For bad times like these always keep a 5 gallon bucket handy, put a kitchen bag in it and you can buy/make a toilet seat for it, sprinkle a bit of small animal cedar bedding on top and your good to go, if you piss separately the smell is kept way down, the ammonia in your piss works on the bacteria in your shit and stinks the place up
I live in an out building in my parents property and don't have plumbing, dad locks the door at 10pm so I have to use the bucket at night
You could always get a dual flush toilet it can handle anything you can force out
https://youtu.be/pXVHwfuVY1k
Why not fix it yourself?
Don't you have pride in your own property?only cucks rent
>>27717831
Literally the worst tripfag in the history of 4chan
Please kys
