robots I need serious feedback here. I've been suicidal for years now and I feel dangerously close to snapping. I need to get help and the countless psychologists/psychiatrists/specialists I've seen haven't helped me. on top of depression and suicidal thoughts I have severe social anxiety and agoraphobia. Naturally this makes it extremely hard to talk about my true feelings to therapists, let alone my parents who would take the news very hard (but they would be supportive).
Tonight I would like to get absolutely shitfaced and then check myself into a hospital. I need to fucking change something and nothing else has worked so it's time to get drastic. I would go in sober but there is no way I would have the balls to say all I need to while sober.
So, if I drive to a hospital clearly over the legal alcohol limit in order to admit myself, can I get in legal trouble with the police/government? I know the hospital will take my blood alcohol level but will they report to the police that I arrived after driving over the legal limit?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
My guess is only if you get caught driving there. Hopefully the doctors won't even ask if you drove there, but if they do you can maintain plausible deniability.
I'm not sure about your plan on a larger scale, though. Like, the emergency room doctors aren't going to be able to help you with whatever issues you need to get out if you're drunkenly ranting at them, and you'll probably just end up in front of another psychiatrist once you've sobered up.
I'm just spitballing here but I would suggest maybe asking for a small, non-refillable prescription of some sort of benzodiazepine to take when you go to a therapist, if you feel that the crux of the issue is not being able to say what you need to say.
But I'm no expert on any of the matters discussed. godspeed anon
>>27710383
how about you drive there first and then get shitfaced incognito in your car
>>27710383
Get really shitfaced in the parking lot? Or a bar next to the hospital?
Doctors can't tell cops what you're on. They'll just admit you & move on.
>>27710383
Lmao first of all that shit will cost you an arm and a leg, secondly they aint gonna do shit but medicate you and keep asking if you feel better. I know because ive been before. Dont do this stupid move for the money alone is enough to deter you. Quit being a faggot. What are you suicidal about anyway?
>>27710453
Thanks for the reply anon. The ironic thing is that benzos are a large part of the issue for me at the moment. I have been routinely prescribed Klonopin and Xanax for years. My tolerance has built up and they dont do shit for me anymore. However my body developed a physical dependence on them. I'm feeling withdrawal effects and sickness just taking my prescribed dose at this point, I'm not sure how familiar you are with benzo withdrawals but theyre among the most dangerous and unpleasant withdrawals of any drug out there. I no longer wish to use benzos as a crutch as theyre a temporary solution with serious long-term negatives.
I've gone to the hospital once before when I told my roomie I wanted to kill myself and he called an ambulance. My BAC was checked and anything I said wasn't given any credibility until my levels were within legal limits. The biggest hurdle for me is the first step of admitting the suicidal tendencies are still there and exactly how bad things are. Once that's out of the way I can struggle through the rest while sober. My parents are much better to me than I deserve to be treated and this is honestly the only cry for help I have left as pathetic as that sounds.
You're right that the previous time I was never asked if I drove there, but i think that's because I arrived via ambulance. I'm a dumbass so I'm not sure what plausible deniability is so I"m sorry about that. But when my car is in the parking lot I feel as if the evidence is undeniable if they do indeed contact the police.
At this point I'm just grasping at straws man. You're right that I will most likely just see by 10th psychiatrist/therapist, but my main goal is to alert my parents exactly how bad it is for me atm while possibly using the hospital resources to connect with me a therapist who may be more competent and helpful. I don't plan to rant, just calmly state my intentions.
>>27710453
Reached character limit.
Anyways I wanted to sincerely thank you for your kind words and advice. I appreciate the time you took to reply with advice and your genuine good will. It means a lot to me.
>>27710703
>>27710735
How the fuck can you type all that? Are you on meth?
>>27710703
I've been to the hospital countless times for similar reasons. My parents are fully aware of how I feel, and I've made it clear how much I want to die pretty often. None of these things help. Nothing changes. I talk to a bunch of counsellors and shit, nothing changes. They just throw meds at me. More and more meds, increasing dosages, changing what ones are used. Not to be pessimistic, but I hope you're prepared for disappointment when nothing changes, because I wasn't. I got even more depressed when I realised I tried to get all the help I could and there was literally nothing that could help me. Good luck to you.
>>27710623
12 years of increasingly worsening agoraphobia, social anxiety, and depression. All been diagnosed by multiple "professionals". I know I'm a gigantic pussy but when every minute of my life is consumed with constant fight or flight response there comes a point where I get fed up. Not to mention the long term negative health effects that accompany this shit such as all the fucked up stuff enhanced cortisol and norepinephrine (sp?) can do to cardiovascular health.
I've been admitted for the same reason before and had no monetary loss. My parents are very financially well-off and have a great insurance policy. I don't say this to show off only to point out that I wouldn't consider this unless I was certain it wouldn't fuck my parents over financially, which I know it wont.
>>27710572
See that's what I originally thought but a internet search (albeit from questionable searches) all stated that I could end up in legal trouble, every single one.
>>27710891
>is rich
>still complaining
All you need to do is buy the drugs you need online until you fix your life so you can feel good and less anxious, then you buy gf. Im telling you being admitted to the hospital/looney bin is not gonna do anything except maybe if you meet a nice damaged qt
Well, idk if anybody gives a shit but here's an update.
So far I've had 12 beers and after my last I'll go pick up another 12 pack or something. Probably around 16 I decided I'm going to call the suicide hotline and ask them to get an ambulance for me. Even wasted I'm too much of a pussy to call 911 and tell them I want to kill myself.
Luckily the liquor store is a block away and I can walk. Then I'll come home and polish off another handful before making the call. I'll be around for another 10 mins or so then be back in a bit while I get to the level of inebriation I need to be at.
I can't thank enough those who offered genuine kindness, advice, and concern. I'll be back with a bit more chatting and drinking before I bite the bullet and make the call.
>>27711113
I have tried dozens of antidepressants of all types and dozens of tranquilizers/benzos/anxiolytics and none have done jack shit except for the benzos (which no longer work), and I plan on quitting the benzos due to the tolerance, withdrawal, and long-term harmfulness that I talked about in an earlier post.
My parents are well off, I am not. Even if there was some off the books miracle anxiety cure I couldn't afford it because I've only held a single job in my entire life and that was only for a 3 month period (once again, anxiety.)
By all means I would be willing to put myself through hell and earn money in order to buy a helpful drug which a psych wouldnt prescribe but as far as I know benzos are the best short term solution and I've already used those to the point where they no longer help.
>>27711307
I'm in the same boat too, I need like 20mg clonazapam for it to work anymore. My suggestion is to buy as much as you need online and maybe experiment with opiates. Also send me some drugs
>Even if there was some off the books miracle anxiety cure I couldn't afford it because I've only held a single job in my entire life and that was only for a 3 month period (once again, anxiety.)
better than me
>>27711177
lmao
