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My gran died today. She had 3 massive heart attacks last Friday and they resuscitated her but theres no coming back from that at 87. So she was put on what they call "palliative care" where the person is gonna die for sure but made as comfortable as possible (pumped full of morphine + midazolam). We've all been waiting for her to pass for the past few days and it finally happened today.
Im so upset right now. Seeing her dead body lying there on the bed... I just thought of the blade runner scene where the guy says "all those moments will be lost in time... like tears... in rain". And thats how it is! My family think shes in heaven but I don't believe in all that stuff. All that remains of her is a corpse and our family's memories. And thats so fucking depressing. I can see why people believe in heaven etc, its a less depressing thought.
Plus im pretty much alone, everyone else in the family has someone except me. Its kinda made me realize I need to fucking grow up and get my life together. Im 29 ffs.
But in the short term. What should I do? Should I drink? I don't want to feel like this anymore (in b4 kill yourself). I really wish I had access to marijuana or something. Im gonna try playing some games with a friend, maybe it'll take my mind off it.
tl;dr
Gran died, feel sad and alone, what should I do?
How do you guys cope with loss/death?
>never had anyone I know die but all my grandparents and parents and animals are getting old
>>27703454
Don't use drugs do cheat your way out of coping with emotions. You know it only makes things a fucking lot more horrible in the matter of weeks.
Here are some ideas of what you can do
- Find a hobby, but only if you truly enjoy it. Don't force yourself to enjoy something that you don't.
- Get on a workout/physical activity routine that will just fuck your shit up. Not only will you get more fit, but it will have you feeling much better in general and you'll find a new confidence in yourself.
- This one is oddly specific, but if you don't already have one, get a pet dog. Take care of it, play with it, love it. I love my dog more than anything in the world.
I don't have much else to say. Good luck, man.
>>27703454
Cope with death now man. The more you just dont wanna to think about the closer you come to it. You dont want to be one of those mother fuckers that freak out in their death bed do you ?
>>27703482
Get a lot of tissues when it happens man :*( I knew death would come years ago and I tried to mentally prepare myself by imagining what it would be like without grandparents/parents etc. Dosent work at all unfortunately.
>>27703672
Thanks man. Ive got a home gym, pic related. I usually do a workout 3 times a week, think ill try and do some lifts every day for a while till I feel better. I haven't used the pullup bar for ages!
Im horrible at looking after things though. Every plant and goldfish I ever had died. Even the fucking pet rock my mom got me as a joke years ago got lost somewhere.
I just get near blackout drunk and watch sad stuff. Don't let it be your only way of coping though. Just for the first night or two.
I really don't care. I was pretty happy after my grandparents died. Waiting for my grandma to die off so I can inherit her house.
>>27703454
Understand it by proximity.
Get down in there with the corpse, kiss it, hold it, speak to it.
That's the mortal remains of your grammy, and in order to close the book on her life you put her in the ground like she did her grammy, and her grammy before her did hers.
One day everything will die.
YOU will die.
This is frightening, but it is also good, because when you get old your body will be in pain, and you may have seen and done things that would be too heavy to carry into eternity.
Death means you're no longer in pain, and your secrets are no longer your burden, and that you get to experience not-being, which is presumably a state quite different to being; if you can describe the absence of a thing to possess state as a state.
Honestly, I don't know anything useful to say. But I'm very sorry anon.
>tfw keep myself emotionally distant from most people
>tfw brother is doctor so he has his emotional mask
>tfw you go to your friends funeral and everyone is sad/crying and all you feel like doing is laughing.
>tfw you go to your grandads funeral where most close family are crying and everyone keeps giving yourself and your brother odd looks.
I always feel like laughing when in pain,I dont understand it and others stare at me. I see the same desire to laugh in my brother but hes far better at suppressing it,its also dissipated a little now that hes getting used to people dieing
Firstly, sorry to hear it anon
My grandparents are nearing 90 (Grandma is 90 in May) and damn, every time I see them they get worse. I've already had probably the worst possible singular family death (my dad) when I was only 7, but I'm still not prepared.
One thing you DO NOT do is instigate family bullshit when someone dies. My dad's sister was an absolute and utter cunt when he died and my god does it make it worse for everyone.
>>27705272
Simple, it is a defense mechanism for uncomfortable situations.
>>27704753
Might do that tomorrow as a one off. Ill see how I feel in the morning.
>>27704939
I don't think ill ever get used to the fact that one day ill have no state. You're right, it is frightening.
>>27705002
Thanks anon.
>>27705703
Thanks. Sorry to hear about your dad anon :(
Yeah we had a lot of family BS in the run up to grans death. My mom had fallen out with my aunt and thought my aunt was taking all the pictures of our side of the family out of my grans flat. Turns out it was my gran that was doing it. She had mild dementia so I guess thats what made her do it. Also my aunt punched my mom a while ago (very unusual desu, noone is violent in our family, even when drunk) because of reasons that were never explained to me. After grans heart attack though we pulled together, nothing was said, no apologies were given, nothing smoothed out but we just kinda ignored it all and stuck together for gran. I think we were all equally upset and thats why we put everything aside.
