>Be browsing the cereal aisle of a grocery store
>2 cute girls and browsing next to me
>Get an idea
>Pick up a box of captain crunch and drop it on my foot
>Start screaming in pain and fall down
>The 2 girls ask if im ok
>I tell them I think I broke my foot
>Hand one of them my phone and tell them to put their number in it so I can have a witness when I sue
>They drop my phone and walk away
>I get back feeling sad, realizing im to igly to get a woman
>I walk out the store and go home and cry
I fucking hate girls, they are all whores who cant look past looks.
>>27687458
What a beta bitch thing to do
You should have known you were too ugly to pull it off.
>>27687458
I highly doubt this happened
you should bend over and pretend to be looking at something on the bottom shelf
when you catch them staring you say
>you're going to have to take me on a date to look at me like thatt
>>27687458
You're a faggot and I laughed at how pathetic you are.
>Walking to work one day
>See cute girl on bench
>Go up to her and ask her if she has the time
>She pulls put her phone and I grab it
>She gets up and demands her phone back
>I tell her hold on as I go to her contacts and put my number in her phone
>I give her the phone back and tell her she is very beautiful and to call me later
She never called me.
>I fucking hate girls, they are all whores who cant look past looks.
literally the 2nd line in your post
>2 cute girls and browsing next to me
atleast you didn't make road runner noises meep meep
>>27687730
Goddamn that one was so obviously fake yet everyone still replied to it.
>>27687458
I doubt this, but if it's real, that's actually pretty smooth, they just acted like bitches
>>27687730
this, lmao
>wil-e cayenne
Sorry op I call bs
But I have a true semi related story involving me
>Be 21 working at a grocery store
>Be shy and bashful as hell
>Two cute girls come down the aisle
>I'm stocking but see them and try to ignore
>As soon as they pass, I hear laughter and whispering
>They go over to next aisle
>They think I can't hear them (or being mean one)
>One says "Would you?"
>Other says "Let me look again"
>So they pass the aisle again and sorta stop for a sec
>The girl says "No"
>Both start laughing and walk off
I went home and cried
>>27687698
>not knowing all robots are hypocritical fags
>itt: completely made up bullshit stories
>>27687811
I think you were justified in slashing them to death desu senpai
>>27687811
If one said would you then she had some interest or first look you were ok
It's not entirely bad, you were put up for consideration
>>27687862
Ah at least they were considering me I guess.
I had my own other screwups though.
>Carrying out groceries one day for some mom
>Get out and see 2 teenage girl
>Always get embarrassed and throw groceries in super fast
>The older sister was in front seat
>Younger sister in back (probably 16 or so)
>Older sister says "my sis thinks you're cute, are you single?"
>Ignore her
>"Hey, are you single?"
>Younger sister is blushing and smiling really big looking at me (she was cute too)
>Throw last groceries in as I hear older sister laughing
>Fast walk back into store
>Be me getting drunk at a bar
>28 year old virgin
>See old lady across the bar, couldnt have been younger than 70
>Start thinking if I have a chance
>Shes old and ugly
>I cant do it
>Ask the bartender for 3 double shots of bacardi 151
>10 minutes later I say fuck it
>Dont remember much but we end up back at my place
>She said she cant get pregenant so I dont use a rubber, not that I had one to begin with
>Cum in her pussy and fall asleep
>Wake up the next day and realize I just fucked a old man wearing a wig
I lost my virginity to a man....I want to die
>>27688013
That's cute. How's that a screwup?
She was probably too young for you anyways
>>27688038
Nice made up story. Made me laugh.
>>27688038
So what did you cum in? His anus?
>>27688094
It was real to me
only the chadest of chads could pull that off, OP
>>27688086
cause i was so asspie i never even said anything
and yah she was probably too young. I was 19 or 20 at the time
There was another time a girl my age asked me back to her place after work.
I said, nah I'm tired. Then I went home and played video games. Realized later on she wanted to fuck me.
>>27687458
This is some quality satire, thank you anon
>>27688139
You're probably attractive but socially retarded.
There's a lot of hope for you, anon. Good luck. Have you had a gf before?
>>27688117
His boipunani
>>27688139
>>27688191
Prigggff
>>27687458
regardless of what you look like OP, what you did was absolutely cringey. Did you really think that would work? I mean really? In what world where pulling something that retarded off like that would work?
Send this suggestion to one of those pickup channels for extra salt in the wounds.
>>27687667
>didn't put your number in place of BF
Anon. That's such a beta move. Would probably get nudes at least. Then you can tell Chad the roastie's cheating with pretty much just anyone.
>>27688013
>helping some stranger carry groceries
What? You live in some third world country that actually has good customer service or something?
I work at a grocery store. Every time a mom comes up to me with a kid who looks like he clearly browses this site and asks where the tendies are. I tell her we ran out. I laugh my ass off as her kid starts crying and throwing things
>>27688879
s u c h m i s c h i e f
>18, suddenly not kv anymore
>knows how a kiss feels
>feels really good
>instantly, coping with having spent my whole life doing nothing got a lot harder
Embrace your kissless virginity, you don't want to feel what I feel
>>27687458
That's pathetic to the extreme.
>>27687750
It was hilarious, that's all that matters.
>>27688139
>asspie
>>27687458
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sure blame it on your looks. Even a Chad couldn't get away with such a beta cuck move like that.
>first thing he notes of the girls is that they're cute
>only tried to get their attention because they're cute
>mad that they can't see past looks
