who /wish they could hug the sad and lonely people on r9k/ here? V2
figured id need an anime girl for this type of post so i googled random anime girl
le anime shitposting roleplay face
You're probably a good person. I don't know.
>>27677809
sorry anon, but you know this thread will get 0 replies without an anime picture
>>27677821
You think? You don't know that thought. Tell me about yourself anon.
>>27677707
Hugging those that would be better dead would only sadden you, anon.
Look the other way. They can't be helped.
This is how they live
>>27677839
I am a 20 year old NEET who has gone mad.
>>27677846
I don't think so, I think it would feel nice. They certainly deserve a hug more likely than not.
>>27677866
And what led up to that? Do you feel like you're a good person? Not necessarily important or meaningful, but good.
>>27677896
I feel like I have done more good than bad. Never harmed anyone as far as I know
>>27677866
wow im also 20 and neet and feel insane
what a coincidence
>>27677983
then we shall meet and a hug exchange will be made. where are you from?
>>27678005
and whats your story anon?
>>27678005
It's a small world. Have been on anti-psychotics for a while, don't work too well and they make me eat too much. Gained 25lbs in 3 months.
>>27678023
Netherlands. Origineel hagelslag.
>>27678057
hmm i'll pass by when I go visit Europe one of these days. I'm from freedomland if you're ever here to visit.
>>27678087
I'll write up a note to remember that. Want to go to the USA sometime. Have a nice day.
>>27678150
Yeah when you come just be like "are you anon?" to everyone here, one of them will give you a hug.In all seriousness I hope your situation somehow changes... i've heard how tough it can be to be stuck in such a place. I'd like to hear more
>>27678219
I'm here all day, ask me anything.
>>27678270
Well, give me your life story. Why are you at where you're at. Walk me through your situation.
>>27677707
why would you wanna do that?
a lot of us are miserable and pathetic because we're weak, stupid, and made bad decisions, I know I am. It's all my own damn fault, and people like me shouldn't really get anything but contempt.
>>27678296
I grew up fairly normally, distant dad and over-caring mom. Have Asperger's syndrome. Went normally through education untill college, psychosis started, got on meds, have been at home for a while now...
>>27678423
Who knows? Mostly no real reason, it just makes me feel nice to reach out and be extra nice to people that weren't given such a good time in life. Someone last night said it seemed like a pity thing but I genuinely just like trying to make these kinds of people better off even if it is a tiny amount.
I'm sure you learned from your decision and wouldn't do the same one again if you could. It isn't as if you deserve a life of no hope and no friendship or anything because of that.
>>27678423
>tfw a post describes you perfectly
>>27678296
Was bullied a lot in PS, got agressive at HS. Had some friends from 12-14 because I was that weird guy. From 14-16 I got pretty heavy. Went from 150 to 200, I'm 6 foot 1. Wanted to be taller, but you gotta take what ya have. At this moment I have like 3 good friends, 2 are still in college and 1 is my cousin.
>>27678481
I see, I have the over-caring mom thing too she won't give me space. To be fair lots of people would probably love to have such a thing as opposed to what they were given. We all want what we weren't given.
Damn, I don't know much about Psychosis but it does seem like a pretty detrimental thing to have happen to you at such a young age and a hopeful time too. Do you think the Asperger's made it more likely or more intense of an effect on you?
>>27678566
I would much rather have a good father figure, but my dad isn't. He did make a lot of money but spent it all on cars. Didnt care about me if I did well, learned nothing from him, still blamed me for things I couldnt know.
>>27678566
I don't know about the psychosis part connecting with Aspergers, but it did help me a bit with my loneliness, was always alone, only child. Used to that kind of shit.
>>27678545
Oh that's not too bad. I know that feel of being the weird guy AND the heavy guy actually. Was pretty heavy all my life until about 14 or so. I'm still the weird guy honestly, I have a couple friends but not what normal people probably have. I have a lack of social ability and all. At least you have some people, and taller than 6'1 is pretty crazy tall anon. So you just never got a job or?
>>27678608
That's pretty shitty man, and you did learn something from him. You learned how NEVER to act to people or anyone you care for. I'm sorry your dad wasn't good but i'm glad you made it through that and you're still with us.
>>27678636
My only friend group is filled with some good, sincere people, but since I quit college only talk to them sparsely. Being 6'1 does not help where I live. People are legitimately on average 6'2 in my province, but okay. Can at least buy normal clothing, apart from my shoes. Big feet. I sincerely hope to be a better person than my dad, but my chances of getting a family are really slim. Did chemical engineering in college.
>>27678633
Oh alright, sucks you had to accept the reality of being lonely but you're here with us at least. I gotta be honest I don't know about Psychosis really is that something they've been able to treat decently? Do you go to a Psychiatrist or some sort of therapy thing?
pls hug me anime
>>27678718
Oh alright, wow you live in a place where everyone's crazy tall... It's a slim chance for a lot of us yes, but theres a little piece of hope out there if you keep holding onto it. So you have a degree, you have some sort of knowledge on that field which surely pays a decent amount.
>>27678724
I go to hypno therapy 1nce every 2 weeks. Still have night terrors. THe treatment hasn been that great but at least zyprexa keeps me from going totally insane. FOund r9k a year ago, used to browse pol and int. Not a natsoc.
>>27677707
Version one of this thread gave me too many feels. I'm afraid to read version two.
>>27678761
Maybe it does, but it hasn't really favoured me. Been trying to go outside more, trying to reconnect with friends. Life is a bit of a blur to me.
>>27678761
How have you been by the way?
>>27678755
I'm not anime but sure you can have a hug
>>27678769
Ouch, that sucks about the night terrors do you feel like the therapy helps in any way at all?
>>27678797
Sorry anon, I was gonna wait a couple days but... my class got canceled today and I felt like hearing more people's feels. Who were you from yesterday?
>>27678828
Yeah I know what you mean, all we can do is hope that the random bullshit life deals out will somehow fall in our favor at some point. A lot of the times it wont, and we have to just keep playing through it. Good on you for at least trying to reconnect and go outside.
I'm scared I would have no emotional reaction if a girl I liked showed me kindness and physical tenderness at this point. I'd like to kiss somebody I loved and who loved me before I die.
>>27678912
Just switched therapy, so don't know if it will work. Hope so, but I really connect well with my therapist. She was willing to lend me some books I wanted to read. Hope things turn all right. /r9k/ can be a very good place, it's a shame the quality of this board is so low. I fthere were more threads like these this board would be a better place and we might actually help each other. Thank you for being willing to have a legitimate talk about this. Kinda needed it.
>>27678905
I've been ok I suppose. 3rd year winding down of college out of 4 years total. Soon i'll have to start working and I have no experience. Didn't really make any friends here sadly. But I could definitely have it much worse.
>>27678938
That's pretty sad anon... but it isn't about the gender for you at this point, it's about feeling attached to the person it seems like. You want to be in love with someone that really means something to you, I understand that feeling. You'll be fine im sure.
>>27678973
That's great i'm glad you are able to open up to your therapist. I don't think people like these threads all that much, people just want to be sad and left alone or they feel like my intentions are not genuine (which i dont really know what i'd get out of this desu but eh) so im glad you appreciate it. Thank you for being here and do your best out there, i'll try to make these now that I see some ok responses.
>>27678912
>Who were you from yesterday?
Just some lurker.
>>27679021
Hope the job market turns out in your favor. And keep making these threads if you can.
>>27679092
Thanks anon, I'm gonna need it with how shitty my resume is now. I will try making them more yeah, I feel like i'm gonna get known as a shitposter/cancer though or the mods will start trashing them.
>>27679182
Originality is sometimes confused with shitposting. Was a bit skeptical of this thread, I've gotta admit, but that has more to do with general cynicism.
>>27679236
I guess so, I feel like i'm not that original though. Somebody else has felt this way I guarantee it, lots of people like being nice to robots.
>>27677707
I wouldn't hug them.
I'd have a sweet mountain home where they can come camp for free in summer and chill with other robots around a fire, share stories and cook delicious food.
I'm gonna do it one day when I actually make enough money.
>>27679333
Know that this thread is better than most that comes out of r9k. The robot eats his own tail.
>>27679350
And why wouldn't you want to hug a robot?
>>27679371
Thanks I guess. I hope more people come in and talk and like it. Thank you for showing up though
>>27679464
Hope so too.
>>27679464
I don't really like hugging people unless they're family and even then I'm not keen on it. Hugs are awkward. I'd rather give them a beer and listen to their stories.
>>27679619
I understand, I mean in a way I feel like that too. However, there's something about... the lack of physical contact most of us suffer from here that makes me be more open to hugging. It's like I know there are many others that surely haven't touched human beings that often such as myself and that touch releases happy chemicals. So why not?
>>27677707
you never replied to my email
I was going to buy a plane ticket
>>27679678
I never got one, only from the one anon who went to bed. Try sending another sorry.
>>27678423
hey look it's that guy who made dat intelligence gmod's waifu
>>27679719
is this you?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1l8pwHfbAxv
original
>>27677707
at first I thought you put
>hang the sad and lonely people
but hugging is pretty good too
>>27679790
no, wow that's a cutie pa2t voice. Where/when was this? Give me context. I'm a male sorry friend.
>>27679842
what? hang no way... sad and lonely anons deserved to be hugged not hanged, come on.
>>27679855
she promised to cuddle me and make me dinner if I visited her
gave my email
she stopped replying after about 3 messages
>>27679895
you won't be saying that once you get a whiff of my bo.
>>27679970
that's messed up, i'm sorry anon. How did this happen, what thread did this devolve from? Why did she pick you specifically?
>>27680020
No I probably would, it won't kill me to deal with bad scent for a minute or two. Just a hug isn't a big deal. I hope you aren't purposely trying to make it bad for me though anon.
The Thread has reached it's ultimate end.
>>27677866
>I am a 20 year old NEET
You cant make this shit up
me. although i'd only hug the nice anons, not the edgelords.
>>27680579
well what are some examples of nice people you'd hug and edgelords you wouldn't?
>>27680611
some people here seem to be genuinely having a hard time and you kinda feel for them. others just act like jerks or say offensive things. i know this isn't a hugbox and i don't expect it to be, but still.
>>27680844
Yeah I know what you mean, I feel like most of the mean people are just bitter... and it's hard not to be when you've been dealt a shitty hand. To me, even those people deserve a hug because they probably were treated poorly, had nothing happy happen to them, etc.
The only people not worthy in my opinion purposely set out to harm others physically or mentally, those fuckers can burn in hell.
>>27680913
that's very plausible, but i just can't sympathize with those people. i think that if you want people to treat you kindly then you shouldn't ward them off by acting like an ass. that's just my opinion, though.
>>27681038
Don't blame you one bit man, it definitely is off-putting and makes people not want to be nice. It just seems like there's a good reason most people act mean here, and it has to do with how their life went. They aren't bad souls at heart. It really is a lot easier for me to be nicer to someone whos nice though yeah, I like them especially so.
I could really do with a hug right now. My heart has been broken.
>>27681204
awww what happened friendo? tell me everything. You can imagine me giving you a big hug.
>>27681251
I had an amicable breakup with an ex a few weeks ago which I was fine and coming to terms with. That was until a few days ago when she told me that not only was she now having unprotected sex but also that she had had desires to be with other people during the last year of our relationship which she never told me about.
>>27681299
Pretty fucked up, what a bitch... Why would she tell you that? That's what I don't get. I mean being honest is cool but your relationship was over, it should never have been brought up to hurt you. That wasn't going to make you feel any better. I'm sorry man, but at least you're rid of her and you can find someone who treats you better.
>>27681362
She came to me feeling scared about being pregnant after having had unprotected sex. Apparently she saw me as someone she could still confide in.
I've been feeling dead inside.
>>27681299
>which I was fine and coming to terms with. That was until a few days ago when she told me that not only was she now having unprotected sex but also that she had had desires to be with other people during the last year of our relationship which she never told me about.
You should kill her. Really. Kill her. Give me her address and I will kill her for you. Not joking.
>>27681393
Well, it's her own doing she should know that. Why she would choose to have unprotected sex is beyond me, unless she's marrying them. I mean if you still consider her a friend you can talk to her about it but, the "I was into other guys during our last year" that was completely unneeded.
If her telling you that sort of stuff hurts you too much though you should definitely push her away for your own sake anon, dont hurt yourself to help someone that didnt think about you.
>>27677707
you're not an anime so your hug is worthless
sorry
>>27681419
>>27681440
I have already come to terms with the fact that the girl I loved is dead. She died the second she started lying to me about her desires.
The hardest part is mourning the 2 years worth of memories I made with her which I cherished fondly until her revelation.
>>27681491
>I have already come to terms with the fact that the girl I loved is dead.
No you haven't, you sit around crying about it every day. Murder and suicide is the only way out.
>>27681442
forgive my lack of being 2D anon, I swear my hugs are just as good.
>>27681491
I see... like I said you should probably push her out of your life. She isn't someone you particularly care for anymore and you need to get away from her because you'll always remember the girl you loved when shes around.
>>27681523
>>27681546
I appreciate the advice. Time heals all wounds I suppose, it's just a bitch to get there. Yay for future trust issues though.
Now we really have reached the end of the thread's lifespan
>>27677707
I see you're back.
>>27683197
I am yes, were you in the other thread last night friendo?
If you're in Boston please let me jerk off onto your face
>>27683331
I was. We ran out of things to say.
>>27683424
Which poster? I assume not the guy who emailed me.
>>27682120
don't worry anon i'll keep the thread alive with my sadness
>>27683491
Thank you anon, but... I really would rather you not be sad if we could take that route. Let me give you a hug
>>27683453
No I didn't.
I'm the one who. Was talking about depression.
>>27683526
Oh the one who doubted me and said they were just nothing? With the bag head picture?
>>27683647
That would be me.
Hasn't changed much.
>>27683940
Yeah I understand, change doesn't happen overnight or even way longer than that. So what has happened since last night? Anything noteworthy at all?
>>27684044
Change hasn't happened in 27 years, and nor will it.
All that has happened is I bombed a trig exam and am now more than likely failing, not that it matters because I probably won't be able to do school next semester anyway.
>>27684276
Ah man i'm really sorry to hear that. It's still possible but yes you are probably very rooted in your routine and all. What were you trying to major in that you need trig, and why will you not be able to go next semester?
>>27677707
Ayyyy a second one! Can I rack up a second hug?
>>27684482
Of course you can, did you post in the previous thread?
>>27684566
Yah, I don't have much time to chat sadly, I'm going outside for a bit rn
>>27684362
I have to go part time because of my shitty job. If I fail, I have to pay back what I owe for the semester. What I'm majoring in doesn't matter anymore because I don't have the will to do school. It was a mistake to start again.
What routine do you think I have that I am rooted into it?
>>27684611
oh alright, come back safely friend. hope you have an ok time outside and be sure to tell me who you are when you return.
>>27684636
I see, yeah it seems like so many people have to work while going to college. It's dumb though because here for loans they only make you pay after you've graduated and such. It does matter because I was wondering what you'd need trig for probably engineering or something.
I dont think you should give up just yet, you said it yourself you are in a shitty job currently. You don't want to be stuck in said shitty job forever. This will give you a chance to say you got the certification for something better. How far into school are you anon?
I dont know what routine you have, what I meant was it is very difficult to break routine habits. Even I am unable to escape this issue. You say you cant change because you never have, all it takes is altering up your routine a bit. Take some time away from something and put it somewhere else, small stuff like that.I won't downplay what a pain in the ass to do that is but, that's a form of change.
>>27684808
I need trig for calculus because it's technically "Precalc 2"
If I don't have this shitty job, I will have another shitty job. That's how it goes. It is impossible for me to just drop work and go to school full time. I'm 27. The kind of aid I get barely covers school let alone a place to live. No one gives a shit about a 27 year old going to college. That is why I have to work a full time job I hate with a passion. The job market is so shitty, there are literally zero other options that offer a livable wage.
Why would I bother going on to more difficult things when I'm not doing the shit I have now? It was a mistake going back to school because I know who I am. I was never going to put any effort into it, and I never will. That requires passion, and I have none. I have always had none.
I have roughly 2 years worth of half semesters, so I can leave without much debt. The debt will still cripple me, and I'll probably kill myself anyway. However, it won't be as much as it could be.
I say change won't happen because I tried. I really did. The end result? I lost my job, lost my friends, and fell deeper into depression than I ever had. It's the closest I ever came to ending it, and I still wish I had. I tried to make things better, tried to change things for the better, and it blew up min my face. Some people aren't meant to get better. Some people are meant to fade away.
>>27685877
Hmm yeah I get you. I understand the market is shitty that's why im saying you might want to just push on even if you aren't passionate about your degree. It'd be for the money, I mean hell i'm not even really passionate about what i'm doing but it pays. You could try changing majors or at least part timing it like you were. You dont need passion to just get done what you need to. You might as well finish up, hell maybe even get an associates instead of a bachelors but something will help.
How exactly did changing result in you "losing your job, friends". You aren't meant to fade away anon, i'm pretty confident in that. You have it rougher than most absolutely, but you're capable of getting to an acceptable point in your life i'm sure. At least make your life bearable because death sure as hell isn't any better.
>>27677707
19
Ugly
I avoid socialising
Lost virginity to prostitutes at 18
Just got my results back for HIV/aids and shit. All clean
I'm scared
>>27687188
Why are you scared if your results came back clean anon? You're all ok! Just don't do anything risky like that again please.
>>27687211
I'm scared because I see a lot of darkness in my future. I feel like everything is getting worse.
I'm falling anon and I don't want to fall off ;(
>>27686785
>death isn't any better
There is zero proof that death isn't better or worse than life. The only information we have is biased towards the living.
Something as worthless as an associates won't actually help beyond giving me more debt. If anything, it will make me overqualified for the only jobs available. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life slaving away from shitty job to shitty job. That isn't living, but "that's life" as I've been reminded of countless times.
How? It's hard to explain. Imagine you're writing a book. So far, the pages are all worn and cluttered with poor scrawl, so you decide to turn the page and start fresh. Your writing gets better as time goes by, and you've got a whole page done, but in the corner, you notice a small ink stain bleeding through the pages. No big deal, you turn the page again and keep writing, keep getting better. The page fills up faster, and you feel accomplished. The ink stain is still there in the corner, but it's smaller than before, so you turn the page again, and keep writing, turning more pages. After many pages, you look down and see the ink stain again, only its covering the whole corner. The pages you've written are consumed by a pool of black ink, and you go to turn another page, but you're at the end of the book. You close the back cover as the ink sweeps you away.
You can pretend that there is more, but I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm tired of the grind. I'm tired of being tired.
>>27687327
You won't slip into darkness friend, you're conscious that you're doing it. Just try not to get carried away and put yourself into danger like that. What else is going on?
>>27687343
I'd imagine it's pretty much nothing... just nothing. It can't be that great considering we have no brain activity. I'm pretty sure an Associates can help you find some jobs you might otherwise not have, it's no big deal if you have it for those jobs because cant you just not say you have it?
I don't know anon, not sure about that metaphor. I think you can always change, it does become extremely hard in some situations but little by little you can force it upon yourself. It's only as much of a grind as you convince yourself it is. If you convince yourself that you can enjoy things, and pursue some things, you wont give a shit about "the grind" anymore. I just don't think that death will make things any better for you, there's something hidden away in this life which you have yet to find. I don't know what it is.
>>27677707
Trust me. You wouldn't wan't to hug me if you saw me so stop lying.
I bet 10 dollars that if you saw a particular type of 'lonely person' you would avoid them like the plague.
>>27687933
Hmm, not unless they appeared like they would harm me ie "fuck off or i will hurt you", displaying a weapon, etc. I'm someone that probably looks like they're plotting something bad or Columbiney but i'm really not. I know looks can be deceiving. I would hug you, why do you think I wouldn't?
>>27687684
Nothing at all, life is dull
Thank you anon, the world and 4chan need more angels like you
>>27688171
I'm really no angel, but thank you. I'm sure something's going on. Tell me your story friend even if it seems boring I would love to hear about you.
>>27688091
Exactly. If you're nonwhite you might as well not even try to be nice to people if they're going to immediately treat you like garbage.
You'd just automatically think I was going to rob you, right?
>>27687684
What is wrong with nothingness? No pain, no joy, no sorrow, no love, no hate, no passion, no pleasure, no rage, no regret.
You can pretend that life isn't a shitfest of a grind all you want, hell, maybe you drew a good hand, but I am tired of trying to lie to myself knowing full well that it isn't true. As I said in the last thread, there is nothing here to change besides which mask I wear. Whether you like it or not, life is unfair. Some people are born into success, others opportunity, some disease and death, other poverty and decay. Some are meant to live, and some are meant to die. Some live so some may die, others die so one may live. Some will shine bright and others simply fade away.
I am not meant to shine. I am not meant to accomplish, I am not meant to have success, I am not meant to live. Maybe when I finally pull the trigger, someone else will live instead.
>>27688371
No i'm not such a retard that I believe because you're nonwhite you'd rob me. Awful presumptuous of you to assume anon. If you notice what I wrote it had nothing to do with race, it was only obvious things that showed you really did intend to harm me (direct verbal contact or a weapon). You're not a bad guy in my book don't think that. Do you want a hug or not?
>>27688398
It's boring, that's for sure. I mean you can think of life what you want but it sure beats doing absolutely nothing, just darkness. I don't think I have a good hand but certainly not a bad one that's true. But I think there's ways to essentially put your cards back and go "fuck that" until you have an ok hand. You are meant to live anon, not success or fame maybe, but... you were not born to just die after 27 fucking years. You can still turn your life into something salvageable. Sometimes it is substantially harder, sometimes easier. In your case it is more difficult but that makes it more rewarding when you do figure things out.
>>27688487
Ok. r9k jaded me on views regarding minorities.
No I don't want a hug. Men aren't supposed to hug.
>>27688543
Yeah there's definitely racist people here but that seems dumb to me. Alright fair enough, you do what you want anon. Best of luck out there.
hello I'm 12 days into my holidays and have 18 missed lectures to catch up on
I've only caught up on 2
help me find motivation for the rest
I spent another 15h today since I woke up without studying one bit
I can never start because I'm so distracted by imageboard catalogs, Skype and vidya
what should I change
>>27684650
I came back
>>27688487
There's nothing to figure out, not on my end. I have no passion, I have no drive, I have no will. I am a leech, tearing away at everything I touch because there is nothing inside. There is no hand to give back nor will I deny someone else theirs. YOU or somebody else might be able to salvage a shitty hand or a shitty life, but that doesn't mean everyone else is capable of doing it. There is nothing to salvage here, just a cold void where a person would be.
But what? I'm supposed to endure another 50 years on the off chance that maybe something will get better? You don't know if I am meant to live or die. If there is only misery and distraction, then I would rather face nothing and let someone else who wants to be alive live their life instead.
H-how do you feel about trannies? I want to die every day because of this mental illness. I don't enable myself, I repress mostly.
I don't think transitioning is a healthy thing to do, but I also don't know how much longer I can go on as it is. Suicide I guess. Everyone hates "us" and I do too.Not even MTF. FTM. I don't want to be a "cute tomboy girl". That makes me want to fucking kill myself.
>Tfw will never have a penis
>>27689012
they're okay if they're not overly lewd but 100% of the trannies I've seen online are le lewd and post sex gifs from /lgbt/ or avatarfag as slutty women and shit
and don't expect any straight man to want you if you have a penis
>>27688818
Wow that's a bit irresponsible, you really gotta catch up on them. Please anon, you'll be really proud you pulled it off.
>>27688850
Welcome back, how was it? And who are you!
>>27688876
You wont deny someone else their hand just by trying to make yours better. I think you are capable of change even if it is difficult. I don't think there's really a better alternative. We werent born to die that's why we were born anon.
>>27689012
Well I gotta be honest, I dont think science is doing good enough to properly transition. I would never consider such a thing myself but, if that's how you feel go for it I know a lot of people dislike it. I think you can definitely just be a tomboy girl why is that so bad? Having a penis wont change you, you're who you are no matter how your body is. What makes you really want to change? I dont see what's wrong with being a tomboy girl.
>>27689012
Imho I'm neutral, but this guy... https://youtu.be/aDAU3SPYFsA
>>27689132
Yeah. To me, transitioning just seems like a stupid "cure" that doesn't even look good. It's just enabling the mental retardation. But this feel won't go away and I hate it.
Eh... I guess the not wanting to be a tomboy thing is bratty. Idk. It's just because it's a girl thing. Hearing "she" and "her" and my name make me physically sick every single time, no matter how hard I'm trying to repress. Seeing my body and expecting a taller, straighter figure with a dick, but seeing a short body with curves, tits, vagina, etc. It just feels incredibly wrong. I never expect to see it. I often think to adjust my penis before realizing I don't have one. It's messed up and makes no sense. I'm so detached from reality.
TL;DR, idk, I'm retarded and I want this feeling to go away.
>>27689276
Can't watch the video right now, but saw thumbnail and image, lol. I agree. Idk why I have this and I hate it. I guess it's just an intense delusion. Idk where this came from and I hope it stops.
I haven't hugged a person that isn't a relative for 7 years.
>>27689339
Yah I don't think there will be psychological help for people like you, considering the regressive left. It sucks too, considering how insecure they get, so they pay people money to transition. Plus with all these fake sexualities from tumblr and whatnot, you're gonna get a bad bunch of people, probably narcissistic and irresponsible, but I dunno, I'm no expert, and I've done no research, watch the video if you can anon
>>27689339
I guess, it's silly man. You shouldn't worry about fucking pronouns come on. You can change your name if you want, cant you? Why does that hurt you so bad... there's literally no reason to become a male please. Don't butcher yourself to "become a man" when you can just act how you want to act. I think you're overreacting to this stuff, you could always like, buy a strap on or something. It just worries me because transitioning drugs and processes RUIN you mentally from what I can tell. Don't do that to yourself friend please.
>>27689348
Ahhh that's so sad anon, where are you from? It is destined that I come give you a hug.
>>27689339
I know this is a bad way of thinking, but until you can "get over it", why not just compensate? Like get /fit/, and peg some women/men (if you want). You said that being a tomboy is " bratty". Why do you think you have to change the way you act if you become a guy? Why do you think the current way you act is unacceptable? Hopefully you can get over the pronoun thing, or just say you identify as a male. It's 2016 after all
I like watching magical girl anime because the friendships make me happy, then the episode ends and I feel unhappy.
>>27689132
You haven't known me as long as I have, or else you would agree with me. I don't blame you for thinking that way, but someone like me can't change. What would such a creature become after emerging from its cocoon? Tear down the darkness and what remains?
What is there beyond a shitty job as a wage slave living in a shitty town in a shitty apartment wasting away in a shitty life? Hard work and dedication will get you nowhere in today's world, and even then I lack the will and ability to care. I'm sorry, but some people aren't meant to go on, dragging themselves through pikes of shit. Some people are meant to drown so others have a place to walk.
>>27689470
It's really not related to just pronouns. It's highly body-orientated, and not even because I have a bad body. I have a really "good" female body, so it's not just a self-hatred thing that evolved into this. Hourglass shape... AKA big hips and big tits. I know that it's desirable for a female. It makes me want to vomit.
I'm a kissless virgin. Homeschooled. Never went to a party in my life. Etc. This stuff has been on my mind since I can remember, and has always made me insecure in this way. Yet I know I'm an attractive female. But that's even worse somehow.
It's also literally nothing related to acting a certain way. It isn't "I act like a MAN, so I should be called HE!" it's "I look in the mirror and expect to see a person with male genetics and want to throw up when I see a female one". Very heavily related to physical stuff.
I don't feel like a failed woman or anything. I feel like... not a woman at all, but everyone else sees that because I am. It's not rational. Very hard to explain since it honestly makes no fucking sense. But yeah, I already act "how I want to". Other than the hatred of my tranniness and my sex, at the same time.
>>27689598
I work out at home with dumbbells and do physical chores, but it doesn't really help... it makes me think about how my gains would be doubled if I was male.
Plus, I'll be carrying heavy shit outside for my mom and she'll say I'm a "helpful daughter" or something and it's almost like I can hear an audible glass shatter, like a shitty movie or something... my reality breaks. I was thinking of myself as a helpful, strong son but I'm actually being viewed as a girl at that current moment. It hurts so much and I don't know why.
>>27689751
I ain't no psychologist but I know that feel, when in the back of your mind, you just know. Maybe get people to call you by male pronouns? Don't change yourself physically, just socially enough to make you not have a reality breakdown. I'm not an expert, or op, but I can give out hugs :3
>>27677707
test jdjdndndj
>>27689751
That's what you think because you've been stuck in this reality for so long. It is possible to get out of where you're at. Is it a lot of work? Absolutely, and if you don't feel you can handle that work then yes it will be pretty hard. Again, you dont need to drown for others to walk dude there's something out there for everyone. It can be difficult to find sometimes but... it's there.
>>27689775
I don't see why being a daughter or girl is so bad though, if you want to become male looking you can totally do so without stupid ass hormones. Do things males do, don't conform to female stereotype memes or whatever. I think you should stop hating yourself, you seem like a good person... Don't think of yourself as a woman, think of yourself as *insert name here* that's who you are. You're a human named that. No gender bullshit is gonna change who you are. TRUST ME getting a dick is not gonna do anything but annoy you especially transitioning to a synthetic dick. You just have to get through this anon, I know it's tough but... surely some people can be there for you. If not in real life, some people online perhaps. Don't feel obligated to become a male... you'll regret it. You're an awesome person the way you are ffs. The only thing I can think to help is to get people to call you a name or nickname as opposed to female-oriented things.
>>27677707
I wish I could hug them all the time everyone here seems so sad ):
>>27689963
Agreed, me and you both friend. How are you doing? Would you like a hug as well?
>>27689845
Guessing you replied to the wrong person. Thanks for the concern. My name isn't feminine, I just dislike hearing it because it's a female name and that reminds me that I'm female, basically. Same with male/female pronouns. It all leads back to me feeling like I should have been born male, and constantly thinking of myself as male until I remember I'm not.
>>27689928
It's nothing based in the real world... by that I mean that I don't hate it because "women are bad" or some shit. Also not related to female stereotypes. It's literally just that I constantly think of myself as a man, in the same way that you (if you're male) constantly think of yourself as a man. And it upsets and disgusts me to realize I'm not.
If my arms aren't touching my boobs, and I can't see myself, and I'm not speaking, and no one's speaking to me, etc, I'm seeing myself as a guy in my head. Physically and mentally. But if I speak, am spoken to, feel/see myself... that gets broken and I want to die until I forget about it all again. It's jarring.
I guess it's similar to schizo or something? I have no idea about that stuff, but it's basically a constant hallucination... one that breaks at certain points. I'm more self-aware than most people that are insane, and I guess that's worse than being oblivious. I hate myself for feeling like this. I've been waiting for it to stop for years and it just doesn't. It gets worse, if anything.
When I said the things about "tomboy being bratty" I actually meant that I was being nit-picky by not wanting to be seen as one, I guess? I don't know. Not that girls are bratty or something. Like I said, I can barely explain this myself because it's all so stupid and specific.
I'm going to bed, guys. Thanks for talking with me. I haven't told anyone about this. This helped, even though it's the same as ever.
If anyone else has anything to say, I will read whatever was said when I wake up, so don't hesitate. Goodnight everybody, take care of yourselves.
>>27690152
I just dont think you should try to put a fake penis on yourself anon. There's got to be a million better ways to work around this situation. Hell it'd make more sense to get like, breast reduction surgery or some other shit than to inject yourself with those god damn hormones. But you're an adult you make your own decisions none of us can convince you otherwise. I'll say it again though, you and I both know that trans technology is so fucked at the moment and does way more harm than good so consider that. Either way whichever you choose, you got a hug for free on me and that other guy I assume plus you're a good person whatever happens don't forget that. You'll always be you.
I'll be leaving my email later when the threads basically dead which is probably soon if you'd like to contact me look for it near the end.
>>27689928
You keep saying that it takes hard work to get out of where I am, and I keep saying that I doh knot have the will to perform it. My entire life is one big collection of shit that could never be completed because I have nothing to give.
There are people who can write books, create music, paint masterpieces. These people are passionate about what they do. There is an amount of effort put into everything they do that I don't have. Not everyone is a master composer or author, but people still do shit. I an incapable. I have tried for so long to do anything, be passionate about something, get good at anything, but it doesn't happen.
The amount of energy required to change is infinitely greater than what I am capable of providing. I know for a fact that change will not happen because I know the kind of shitty person I am. I'm glad that you can still think otherwise, but some of us are too far gone.
>>27690294
Yeah, we're at a standstill I realize. There's nothing I can do probably to convince you to put forth energy but I do know for nearly a fact if you somehow gathered some you could definitely change where you're at. But you're right, what's worthwhile in energy to you might be different than me. So I guess do what you wish, either way still doesn't mean you're a nobody and a nothing people should still value you as somebody even if you decide to stay where you are.
>>27690398
There's nothing of value to be had. I say this based on observation of past occurrences. People are only ok with me because I pretend when people are around. The longer people are around me, the more they want to get away to a point of hostility.
A perfect example. A few years ago, around 6 I think, my oldest friend convinced me to move out of where I was and in with him and his fiance. After 6 months or so, he forced me out and we haven't spoken since. Even my parents. Last time I had to live with them, we wound up fighting after a few months while I was saving up for another apartment. However, things are fine when I'm not living there.
I am a nobody, though. That is undeniable. I've done all I can do, and taken about as much as I can take. You shouldn't think that people should value something just because it exists. My parts will be more valuable to people than the while.
>>27690840
You dont have to pretend though anon, no ones making you pretend. Your true friends will appreciate you no matter what. Be the "nothing" you claim to be around us, I bet some people will still like you as a nothing. That's pretty fucked up and it sucks that happened... it's probably best you be by yourself. I understand you feel like you do because of past experiences , and that's fine but in all honesty there's always somewhere else to go besides death and despair.
I dont. I wish I could genocide them WW2 style
>>27690966
please genocide me i'll be better fertilizer than a human bean
>>27690966
that's rather rude anon, why do you want to genocide lonely sad people?
>>27690954
I wish I could believe that, but I can't. All those stories of people saying "Oh I was in a dark place but now here I am with a husband/wife and kid and the head of my own company and everything gets better" are just fairy tales. They take a dip, catch wind in their wings, and soar higher than they were. That's is how life is for most people. The rest of us started six feet underground. We're waiting to finally catch some sleep.
>>27691301
I can't make you believe it but it definitely happens as fairy tale and bullshit as it sounds. You won't believe it unless it happens to you and that's perfectly fine to be skeptical. If you're just gonna live this life, go for it nobody can stop you.
>>27691330
Be honest, what would make it happen? What divine intervention would change everything? I've spent a lot of time thinking about this subject, more time than you would believe.
I'm not going to live this life. I'm sorry to say it, but every day weighs heavier than the last. Things are coming to a breaking point, and my time is almost finished.
>>27677707
I hope everyone on /r9k/ has to suffer like I do.
>>27691556
I honestly have no idea, it could be that you decide you find something you like, you talk to some random person you end up liking, you choose to do something for 30 minutes that you normally wouldnt. It isn't some master scheme, it's some small fucking thing that'll turn into a butterfly effect that's how these things happen.
>>27691588
And why are you suffering anon? Would you not like a hug yourself?
>>27691633
Hugs don't make medicine side effects go away
Getting a hug just reminds me of how uncomfortable I am.
>>27691674
true, but they can make you feel better I think... somewhat. what kind of medicine do you have to take friendo?
i hate myself so bad
>>27691870
aww how come anon? what's going on with you, and would you like a complimentary hug?
>>27691633
Been there to no avail. Technically, I wound up worse than I was after a time, but that a isn't really important anymore. Nothing about me is. My time is almost up.
>>27691950
Everything about you is important. You were born, you're in this world. Things involving you matter. You weren't born just so you could leave the world on your own accord. But I can say this all day, you don't really care and what I say wont affect you. I can hope and hope but, I realize you've had enough shitty experiences to guarantee your exit. I'm sorry that's how life was for you... I really am. I wish we could have been friends or something, maybe changed things a little and given you some faith. Who knows.
>>27691893
nobody likes me
nothing i can do is worth doing
>>27692228
I'll bet i'd like you! Tell me about yourself, how old are you, where are you from, what do you do?
>>27691711
Meds to stop me becoming absolutely mental in just 10 years
Hugs will stop that too right?
>>27692251
No of course not, but how long have you been on these meds what's your situation?
>>27692027
I would have pushed you away, no matter how much you will deny it. Things are better this way. You still have hope that things might have been different instead of regret and resentment.
We are born to choose.
>>27692344
Yes you can push me away, I never said you wouldn't. This is the path you've chosen for yourself, sorry for trying to convince you otherwise.
>>27692389
Don't be. It's who you are. Never be sorry for that.
>>27677707
Not me, I lost sympathy for neets a long, long time ago.
I suffer from GAD and I'm nervous about everything all the time and just want to stop having these intrusive thoughts. I want to be loved, hugged and told that everything is ok and you don't need to worry about anything because you're safe right now. I'm sick of all the meds and the feelings of wanting to throw up. I want to get out of bed without wanting to run and hide under the blankets. I want to be able to hold together a relationship or even form one without planning and thinking about every aspect.
>>27692886
Gosh that's so horrible i'm sorry friend. I wish I could hug you and tell you it's all gonna be ok... where do you live? How long have you been like this and how old are you currently?
>>27677707
I don't. Most of you are probably fat ugly men.
>>27692937
who cares if people are fat/ugly? it isn't like we're trying to date anon, just give friendly hugs and make people feel better.
>>27692928
I live in Australia. It's gotten bad over the last 5 years and I'm 23. It's been pretty bad lately because of new medication but it's something I'm going to need to manage for the rest of my life. I try my hardest to not freak out or have panic attacks but sometimes I'll cave under the barrage of "you're shit" thoughts.
>>27693017
That's unfortunate, really sorry to hear it's gotten worse. Hopefully you can adjust to your new medication but I know how much that stuff can screw you up. Good luck man, if you're up to it we can chat outside here on Steam or Skype. Or we can keep chatting here. One thing i'm POSITIVE of... is that unless you've harmed somebody you're so not shit dude i'll bet you're a bretty cool guy honestly.
My throwaway email is[email protected]
anybody else that wants to contact me feel free especially if you feel like you just want someone to talk to, tagging >>27690152
in case they'd like to talk
>>27692937
I'm a skinny ugly short man can I get a hug?
>>27693153
not sure how he feels but I will certainly give you one!
>>27693192
Are you sure? I puke blood, mucus and gastric fluids sometimes. Thanks anyway, it's okay if you wear a hazmat suit.
>>27693224
don't be silly anon I know that's not true but even if it was you could still get a hug no worries.
>>27693252
Thanks anon that's so kind!The puke thing is true though, it's because of my megaesophagus + GERD combo that causes ulcers sometimes. Mucus & gastric fluids is often, blood rarely.
I have body dismorphia, anxiety, depression, possibly autistic by the way I act. Luckily, I have a girlfriend, but the biggest problem is that it's long distance. To top it off I'm also a paranoid schizophrenic and can't leave the house whitrout having a panic attack and or a psychotic episode. I keep most of my problems to myself, so nobody knows this except for my girlfriend and my doctor. I hate myself and everyone surrounding me, I get bullied everyday by my friends and family for either my long hair (which is not even that long for a guy), for the way I dress ( I mostly dress in sweatpants and a hoodie because I can't stand people seeing me in form fitting clothing), my social awkwardness, and people think I'm crazy cause sometimes I talk to my hallucinations thinking they're real people. The way I escape from reality is by watching anime. I'm all kinds of fucked up, and will probably never live a happy and or normal life. Thank you op for the thread, I really needed this. Even though the chance of someone reading this is very low.
>sorry about my bad grammar I have dyslexia as well
>and yes I was diagnosed with all the things I said I have by a real doctor.
>>27693399
Goodness i'm sorry to hear that. I don't know how you manage... extra hugs for having to deal with that! I'm glad you're still alive friend.
>>27693415
I read it and you my friend, deserve quite a hug for dealing with that. At least you have a supportive girlfriend to help you out with that. I do a hoodie more than I probably should as well it's a simple style that doesn't show off much. I really wish I could be your friend wherever you live and make you feel more comfortable/secure. Good luck out there anon, be strong and thank you for posting here.
Thanks man, I appreciate the hugs. You're a really great guy. I'm trying to get my hands on antipsychotics so hopefully it'll get better.
>>27693112
Thanks anon, it's really nice to see people around who can show sympathy. When I'm not in a bad mental state I do the same thing as you in terms of trying to help people cope with the baggage.
Recently everyone I know has gotten into relationships leaving me as the only one who's not in one. I'm greaking out because I'm scared of losing all my friends and never being able to get into a relationship, dying alone with everyone having forgotten about me.
>>27693541
Awesome, I hope those drugs don't harm you too much though, that worries me the effect those have. But I suppose living with these disorders isn't much better. Be careful friend and I hope to see you around in the future to check up on you at least.
>>27693597
That's really nice of you friend, especially having dealing with your own situation you can probably relate a lot better than I can.
That's really sad, I have 3 friends, 3 or 4? and 1 or 2 are in relationships. So it isn't too bad for me but I still don't see them that much. Don't freak out anon, they'll still be your friend unless they're real pieces of shit. Nobodys gonna forget you, you'll be remembered as that cool guy that did that one thing your friends probably poke fun of you for in good fun. You're gonna be alright buddy, I promise.
>>27693661
Thanks anon. I'm going to try my best to relax tonight and do stuff that makes me feel good about myself. The problem with coming on this board is how self conscious it makes me feel and making me feel like unless I'm a perfectly sound 10/10 then I'm never finding love. I'm pretty sure it's not true but yknow...
>>27693754
Yes please do so, do your best anon. I know it seems that way and this place does kinda kill your hope sometimes. But it also gives you somewhere to talk with people about these things. It is a double edged sword. I know how you feel though I feel like you do too. You'll be alright just try to relax and feel better about yourself.
>>27693474
Meh the new drugs have a lot less side effects. The biggest problem is that the voices and my reoccurring hallucination named Sam (he's a demonic version of my childhood dog that died when I was 5) convince me not to take meds, they say its "poison", that's why I currently don't take any because everytime I think about taking them I get convinced otherwise.
>>27693918
That's good... I do hope that somehow the meds can control "Sam" and get him to stop fucking your life up. That's pretty scary, I praise you for being able to live with that stuff.
>>27677866
>>27678005
i-i'm also a 20 year old NEET
>>27694016
Thank you for being so kind. But you get used to the voices and the hallucinations when you've lived with them for years. And to be honest Sam is actually here right now, telling me not to post on here and that you'll find me. But I don'the even care if that's true. I dint mind being killed, it'll be the easiest way to end all of this. And sorry about unleashing all my problems here. I already complain enough to my girlfriend.
>>27694146
I see... and Sam doesn't know what's best for you friend, YOU know what's best for you. Sam can give advice but you have to think about what's gonna benefit you not what he wants. I don't really see how I can find you because i'll bet you either don't live in the states or you live on the opposite side. It's ok to "unleash" your problems anon, thats why i'm here. You deserve to have someone to listen to you. Keep going if you please.
>>27694076
ah sorry to hear it, hug for your thoughts friend?
>>27694217
I'd love to keep going but I should go to bed, it's 3 am and I have school tomorrow. And fyi I'm from Canada. I'll probably be back. You'll know it's me cause my name will be something about me being insane or crazy.
>>27694292
Alright, goodnight sleep tight anon. I guess I should tell sam goodnight too. Take care of yourself Canadafriend. You're gonna be alright.
>>27694308
Good night buddy.
>>27694308
Oops I didn't realize what she was doing. It looked as if she was sleeping. I quickly realized I was wrong.
Well goodnight to the thread, was good talking with you all. I should really wait a bit longer before the next thread, sorry. But I will almost certainly make another.
My Email is >>27693112
if anyone wants to contact me again and see you all next thread.
>>27694217
Well, I'm in Missouri for one.
It's not a very interesting story, I was born sick, got worse as I aged. Parents are irresponsible but loving, although father is a bit... Messed up in the head.
Got bullied in school for a bit, then went apeshit on them, got put on meds, aspergers syndrome, about 10 years of trying to fix what's wrong with me health-wise, missing out on school, trying again in high school but dropping out because lolsick.
Been alone with family, no job, no possibilities, can't work, for at least 3 years now.
I recently accepted that I'm sick and there's literally nothing I can do to make it better, rather my "can-do" attitude just ended up being pathetic on me. I'm a bit melancholic, but happier now.
I can't really get myself consistently interested in anything anymore.
Like I said, uninteresting 20 year-old NEET.
I sometimes wish I didnt feel anything anymore
>afraid that parents will kick me out
>virgin NEET
>depressed with social anxiety
>can't get a appartement before I turn 25
