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What's the most pathetic failed attempt you KHV robots have made at losing your virginity?

>be me, 24 y/o KHV
>decide I will hire a hooker and just get it over with
>find one online
>300 dollars all in
>have to pay in advance
>have to pay for a hotel room as well because I live with my parents
>she shows up at the hotel 20 mins late
>I tell her I have never done this before
>she tells me it's OK, "Let's go have a drink first"
>hotel is in a shitty neighborhood, nothing around but a KFC and some dive bars
>eventually settle on KFC because those bars are just too filthy
>sit their drinking iced tea with a pretty lady all dressed up
>eventually we finish our drinks and get out
>ask her if it's OK if I bring her to my room now
>she says it actually isn't, she doesn't have a good feeling about this
>too omega to complain or ask for a refund
>she leaves
>I go home to jack off

One month later now and still a KHV