>go on pornhub
>go to the For Women category
>be male
/mischief/ thread
>stormy day
>leaving store hear "Be careful out there, the roads are really bad!"
>drive like a lunatic through every puddle i see
>flip car and lose both arms in the crash
>have to eat through a tube inserted down my throat
>>27652179
>live in rural area
>walk outside to the road I live on
>look up and see deer crossing sign
>be human
>cross the street anyway
>>27652179
>have expensive high-powered night-vision binoculars
>big group of college girls down the road put on tight and skimpy cloths and play basketball
>every Sunday at ~12pm, right before church usually
>nofap until Sunday at 12pm
>they never see me becaue I'm too far away
>I recently bought a tripod to put the binoculars on so I can use two hands
>they're all hot athletic blonds
>>27652179
So you're just a gay man?
>>27652908
i think "for women" is this overly "romantic" porn with music playing in the background etc.
>>27652179
>red ligh/green light joi
>don't stop at red light
>"have a nice day"
>don't
>go on Craigslist
>inquire about random items
>tell seller I'll buy it but it has to be in the next 30 minutes
>they scramble to get there in time
>I never show up
>>27653405
i've heard this one a million times
>buy expensive clothes
>starve because I can't afford food
>>27652179
>Be OP, long time robot
>save a thumbnail of Pepe off google images
>not even a newfag
>>27653360
I do this too and then always feel guilty about it
>cut my neighbours brakes in the dead of the night
>whenever he plays loud music at night, I call the cops, using a different voice each time
>when the neighbour tells me about it say "wow, what a fucking asshole, doesn't he have anything better to do?"
>mfw he's going bald (despite the men in his family not having faulty genetics) because of me and the stress I cause him without him knowing
>mfw he actually trusts me and thinks I'm a great friend
filthy roach
>>27654440
Filthy scum
>>27652934
I don't buy that women like that kind of porn.
Really there's no way they can
>>27652889
>they're all hot athletic blonds
Anon white means super hot. Not "blonde" in a IR.
>night-vision
Stupid garbage that ruins the experience. With IR you can distinguish special features on women.
>>27652934
Yeah it's usually better shot too and has less grunting and 'oh yeah baby fuck my tight pussy/ you want me to fuck your pussy?/yeah fuck my pussy/I'll fuck your pussy/mmm yeah fuck my pussy/I'm fucking your tight pussy/ oh you like my pussy?/Yeah I'm fucking your pussy'' bullshit. Porn made for women is infinitely more patrician than standard porn.
>>27652934
>tfw when I'm a man who can't get off to porn unless there's some kind of story and emotional element
>tfw women just want gang bangs and big dicks
>>27652908
>he thinks women masturbate to gay porn
Only if they are qt animes famalam
>>27654367
>save pic from /r9k/
>rename it with a tumblr filename
>go to Mickey Dicks
>ask for a Whooper
>>27655048
reported.
ENJOY THE VAN
N
J
O
Y
T
H
E
V
A
N
>go to fancy restaurant
>waiter asks what I would like to drink
>coke please
>We only have Pepsi is that OK?
>get up and walk out of the restaurant
>do this every week at the same restaurant
>be outside
>is chilly
>see girl wearing a shirt or something thin
>stare right at her hard poking nipples
>>27655103
>they probably could have gotten a coke specifically for you
>they don't because they'd rather have you get the fuck out
>be straight male
>trick friend into thinking I'm gay
>suck his dick
>he gets mad when he finds out afterwards that it was just a brank
>>27652179
>there's a mischief thread already up
>post a mischief thread anyway
>go on r9k
>pretend to be a normie
>genuinely like Pacific Rim even if it's a 7/10 flick
>recommend it as a 10/10 kino
>>27655128
where do you live that girls dont wear bras
>>27655588
He probably lives next to a middle school.
>enter thread
>see people arguing
>take both sides and fuel the fire
>argument escalates
>people start breaking rules
>report them
>leave thread
>about to be late for school
>have to take neighbors dogs home
>windsheild is icy
>no scraper
>try to drive with head out of window
>hit neighbor kids car
>flip car
I'll never forget it
Why can't there be a restart button on life?
>>27654729
you know you could just watch japanese porn
>>27655763
But that's for Japanese people!
oooh, I get it! You're being /devilish/ well memed!
>>27655673
this is why I love anonymous culture.
